chapter sixty seven

state of love and trust.season six, episode thirteen.

. Even after a rather enlightening session with her therapist, in which she was informed that the cosmos don't actually have the to laugh in the face of twenty five year old geniuses with severe commitment issues, she still wasn't entirely convinced. Even off the top of her head, she could recall several times in which she heard cackling coming down from the heavens, a humorous finger pointed at her in inculpation.

the day her mother died in a stiff hospital bed, completely alone, while Cassie was waiting in line to order her birthday cake.

that one time when a psycho blonde manipulated her pseudo-father into proposing, got Cassie shot, and the aforementioned pseudo-father (in that order).

the day her best friend promised, , that he would see her again despite being shipped off to war, and then decided to get run over by a bus twenty minutes later.

And finally, ; trudging into the bathroom half asleep with drowsy steps, just to be greeted with an incredibly smug (and very, naked) Mark Sloan.

If she weren't so confused, Cassie probably would have laughed along the universe at that one.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" she screeched, a hand shooting into the open air as she expertly avoided looking at his... . Another hand covered her eyes, fingers brushing against the day old mascara she'd neglected to take off the night before. "Dude, get out!"

Mark just smiled, unperturbed by the way Cassie refused to even glance in his direction. He did, however, notice the blush coming over her cheeks. His smile grew.

"My water heater's broken. Callie said it would be fine if I used your shower," he shrugged casually, stepping under the spray of water (which Cassie hadn't even noticed was running) and shutting the glass door. Cassie peeked one eye open, letting out a relieved sigh at the fog on the glass covering his lower half. "You know, it's polite to knock. I could've been... ."

She didn't miss the teasing tone his voice held, nor the way he left enough room in the shower for an extra person.

"Just—" Cassie paused, awkwardness seeping into her bones after the memories of their last conversation came back at full force. "Just let me know when you're done, I need to wash my hair."

"You're hair already looks perfect, Cass."

A painfully obvious lie, Cassie noted, despite the deepening redness surrounding her nose at the sentiment.

"Mark," she scolded with an uncomfortable laugh, her arms moving to cover her chest, inadvertently pushing her loose sleep shirt against her skin. She hadn't been expecting company — company — before she had a chance to make herself look presentable. "I thought we— what happened to the whole thing?"

Mark wasn't quite sure what she was on about. "I am waiting. if I do say so myself." He sent her a dazzling grin, the overhead light reflecting against his pearly white teeth."You're welcome, by the way."

His arms moved upwards, flashing her his abdomen while he lathered shampoo along the scalp of his hair. , Cassie noted, feeling an unwelcome urge to run her hands through it... maybe while she— godshe shouldn't be thinking about that. If her therapist could see her now, she was pretty sure Rain would recommend something along the lines of . Forcing herself to violently snap out of her thoughts, Cassie's eye twitched, mouth agape as her brain attempted to think of something to say in response.

"I— I hate you."

Mark sent her a confused frown, but even through the haziness of the glass, , she could tell it was wildly insincere. "Well the last time I checked, you said, and I quote, ." Of course, Cassie wasn't surprised Mark Sloan would be the type of person to memorize something that she said weeks prior. He wasn't even looking at her when he added, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't quite sound like to me."

Cassie cringed, reminding herself for future reference to never again be drunk sad at the same time. After all, doing so had a history of causing her to blurt out a slew of painfully embarrassing love declarations, which are then used against her at a later date, said declarations being confessed in the confidence of her drunken rambles.

"Shut up, Mark," was all she responded with, the burning in her cheeks more prominent than ever.

In wake of her uneasiness, she left without another word, slamming the door behind her as she left him to shower with his own devices. Subconsciously, she wanted to make some sort of point with the action, however her attempts were quickly proven futile. In reality, Cassie only managed to resemble a kid throwing a tantrum because they're cold, even though their parent specifically them to bring a jacket, but the kid didn't to bring a jacket, but now they're pissed because they should have brought a jacket, because now they're cold.

Perhaps it was the innate stubbornness that made her trip over her own feet on the way out; or maybe, just maybe, the universe hadn't quite finished laughing yet.

"Oh, fuck you," Cassie said under her breath, as if she was speaking to the universe (or god, or something else of that nature) itself. Haphazardly stumbling back onto her feet, she dusted herself off, mindlessly saying a prayer that the day ahead of her wouldn't be as shitty as it started out.

☆

"Hey, could I... can I talk to you?"

Cassie stiffened at the familiar masculine voice, not removing her gaze from the sea of doctors below her. Standing up on the landing, as opposed to the main lobby with her friends and colleagues, was her subconscious way of taking charge; today going to suck, and she planned to do everything in her power to make sure of that. It just so happened that ignoring people's inquiries of was within that power.