40. Chapter 40

She’s desperate for Alex Danvers.

Cold shower, hours slamming the heavy bag, sprint drills until she nearly vomits desperate for Alex Danvers.

But she stops them whenever Alex gets too handsy, whenever the sounds Alex makes, the feel of her skin, her lips, the thrumming of her pulse, threatens to drown Maggie, threaten to shred every ounce of control she has.

Because it’s too soon, because Alex deserves slow and Alex deserves time and Alex deserves the best and Alex deserves… perfection.

And Maggie is terrified of not being able to give it to her.

So she’s taking a lot of cold showers that don’t work and her hands are sore and she nearly passes out on the track.

Until they’re making out and Alex’s hands are slipping up her shirt and Maggie is moaning and Maggie is writhing and Alex is shifting on top of her and Alex’s tongue is on her neck and her eyes are looking up to ask if her hands can slip under her bra and Maggie is breathless and Maggie is torn and Maggie is scared and Alex sees and Alex takes her hands away and braces them on either side of Maggie’s body and she blurts, with no preamble and with no lack of earnesty, “I want to have sex, Maggie. With you.”

Alex’s lips are swollen and her hair is tousled and her eyes are full of lust and confusion and Maggie doesn’t remember what air is.

“Alex,” she manages to choke.

“Do you not… do you not want… to have sex with me?”

Maggie almost sits bolt upright, and Alex leans back, instinctively wrapping her arms around Maggie’s back to help her stay up.

“Alex, of course I want you, of course I want to have sex with you.” Maggie laughs, and Maggie shakes her head, and Maggie fights back tears. “You just deserve… you deserve everything to be perfect, and I – “

“No. Nope. No.” Alex cuts her off and Alex cups her face in her hands and Alex gently makes Maggie meet her eyes.

“Maggie, you are perfect. Every single time you touch me… hell, Maggie, every time you look at me, it’s… it’s perfect. I want… I want everything with you. Please? Can we? If you want?”

“Oh, Alex Danvers. I do want. I will always want.”