81. Chapter 81

It starts with Kara hiding all the bourbon and limiting Alex to one beer and one glass of wine.

It starts with Maggie holding her hand and telling her it’ll be fine and here babe, have some water.

It starts with Maggie shaking Eliza’s hand with both of her own and telling her what an honor it is to properly meet her and how amazing her daughter is and thank you for bringing her into the world.

It starts with Alex blushing and Kara beaming and Maggie pouring Eliza a glass of wine and Eliza carefully regarding Alex’s crimson face and bright eyes and mourning the way she’s never seen her happy like this before, relaxed like this before.

It starts with smiles and it starts with an awkward ease, but it doesn’t end that way.

Because Eliza is leaning across the table slightly and Eliza is telling Maggie that it’s so refreshing to hear that she studied literature because I could never get my Alexandra to expand her horizons beyond the laboratory and Alex is reaching for the bottle of wine and Maggie is remarking mildly that Alex’s horizons seem super broad to her and Maggie is rubbing Alex’s thigh under the table and only pouring her a sip or two more between passing the bottle away to a pursed-lipped Kara.

And Eliza is congratulating Maggie on getting Alex to spend so much more time outside of work because other than all that time she spent surfing at home, I could barely get her to give her mother more than a five minute phone call outside of the lab, let alone spend entire evenings out and away from work and Kara is commenting on how often they have sister’s nights and movie nights and game nights and Maggie is letting Alex leave bruises on her hand with how hard she’s squeezing it under the table.

And then Alex is breaking and Alex is standing and Alex is tearing at the seams because Eliza is telling Maggie how it’s so wonderful to share a table with Alex when she’s sober, Maggie, you don’t know how I’ve worried – and Alex doesn’t want to hear the rest of the sentence because Alex is done and Alex is can you not, Mom? Can you not in front of my girlfriend, in front of the only woman, the only person, I’ve ever brought home to you? You don’t string out all of Kara’s flaws in front of the people she brings home! Oh, but you know what, you don’t string out any of Kara’s flaws at all, because she doesn’t have any, does she, they’re all mine, all my fault, because no matter what you said about me being your supergirl, me being exceptional, it’s never super enough, it’s never exceptional enough, is it? So tell me, Mom, when will I be enough?

And Kara is crying and Kara is standing and Eliza is sitting and Eliza is staring at the table and Alex isn’t waiting for an answer and Maggie is reaching for her hand and Eliza is seething, because This is really what you’re going to do, Alexandra? Yell at me, accuse me of all these things, demand an answer from me and then storm away? In front of, as you say, the only woman you’ve ever brought home to me? Like a petulant teenager? Alex, you know better than this –

Well apparently I don’t because –

Alex, do you wanna maybe take a walk –

No, Kara, I don’t want to take a walk, but maybe you can take me for a flight around the city, maybe that’ll clear my head –

Alex –

I’m sorry, Kara, I’m not mad at you, it’s not –

I know –

Alexandra.

What?

I think Detective Sawyer is trying to tell you something.

Because Maggie is standing with her head bowed and Maggie is holding Alex’s pinky with her own and Maggie is waiting, waiting, waiting, and Alex furrows her brow at her and Maggie is speaking, softly, softly, telling Alex that I know history with parents is rough, babe, and I know your mom – sorry, Dr. Danvers – doesn’t always talk like she appreciates you for who you are. But babe, I… I just wanted to remind you that I think you’re perfect, and I think you’re enough, and I think hell, you’re too good, so good, so amazing, that I probably don’t deserve you, but I want to try every day and every night and every moment in between to deserve you because you’re perfect to me, Alexandra Danvers. And I just… maybe now’s not the time, but I know when I have smackdowns with my dad I always wish someone would tell me they care about me so I… I care about you. You. In case you… forgot.

And Alex is kissing her and Kara is covering her wet smile with her hands and Eliza is looking down at the table with a bittersweet smile and pursed lips and Alex is breathing in everything that is Maggie and everything that is her and everything that she needs because in Maggie’s kiss she feels everything that she can be, and that includes being, well… enough.