159. Chapter 159

They’re making out and Maggie is wrecked because Alex is doing that thing to her neck with her lips, with her tongue, with her teeth, but then the chorus of J Cole’s Hold it Down is blasting out of Maggie’s phone and Alex is moaning with loss because she knows that ringtone, and it’s nothing Maggie would ever ignore, no matter how wet she is, no matter how turned on she is, and sure enough, Maggie is kissing her lips apologetically as she sits up, as she fumbles for her phone, as she slides her finger across the green circle, over the smiling picture of a boy with a silver earring and a beaming smile, and, breathless, tries to keep the sex out of her voice when she says his name.

“Adrian.”

“You… were getting laid.”

“What? No, I – “

“I’m sorry, Maggie!”

“It… I – how did you – you know what, just… what’s up, kid? It’s late, you alright?”

“Nah, Maggie, don’t sweat it, I just… I was just tripping, it’s cool, you be with your woman, it – “

“Adrian, I can fuck her any time, just tell her what’s wrong!” Alex yells, because she loves hearing Adrian laugh through the phone and she loves watching Maggie blush.

“So you were getting laid. Maggie, seriously, don’t worry, I – “

“Adrian. Either tell me what’s up or I’m gonna drive over to get you – “

“On your motorcycle?”

“Oh my god, kid.”

“Why do you automatically assume something’s wrong when I call? You think I don’t love you enough to call just to catch up?”

“No, I know you love me, but I also know your mama raised you right and you’re not gonna be calling at midnight unless you really need something, so are you gonna spill or are you gonna make me get dressed and – “

“Alright, but I… is it okay if I drive over? Pops said I can have the car – “

“Yeah, come on over. You eat dinner, I can order something – “

“Nah, it’s cool. Thank you Maggie.” He raises his voice. “And you, Alex! See yall in like twenty.”

Maggie hangs up and sighs. “He says he ate, but let’s get him some pizza anyway.”

Alex smiles because she loves the thought her girlfriend puts into her every relationship, and she’s still smiling when Adrian’s typical musical knock raps through the apartment.

But her smile fades when she sees his face over Maggie’s shoulder as he hugs her hello, because his eyes are red and his dark cheeks are still streaked with tears.

“What happened?” Maggie asks, because he’s starting to shake in her arms. She leads him to the couch, and Alex sits on the floor in front of them, staring up with big eyes.

“Do you wanna be alone, or is it – “

“No, Alex, you can stay. I… I’m sorry guys, yall were just trying to have a nice night together – “

“Kid, we’ve had this conversation already. Talk to me. Us. What happened? Who do I have to kill?”

Adrian smiles and Alex puts her hand on his knee. “I’m better trained in killing than she is, so I’m just saying…”

He laughs full out this time, but the laugh becomes a sob, and Maggie puts her arm around him, and he surrenders to her touch.

“I’m sorry,” he sniffs, and Maggie and Alex both shake their heads and wait.

“I… I met someone. On tinder. I… I don’t have it on my profile that I’m trans, I mean like, why would I, right, because I’m a guy, I’m a guy, I…”

His voice breaks and Maggie bites her lip to control herself because she already has a dangerous combination of heartbreak in her chest and murder in her eyes.

Alex squeezes his knee and kisses Maggie’s hand and gets up to pour Adrian a glass of water. He waits, and he thanks her, and Maggie wipes his tears, and he drinks, and he continues.

“So I met this girl, we were talking for a couple weeks online – “

“The math major?”

He nods. “And I met her tonight, and it was really great, she was really great, and we kissed, and I’m not packing so when she kind of grinded up on me… sorry…”

“You’ve walked in on us doing worse, honey, you’re fine,” Maggie teases, and Adrian smiles slightly.

“She wanted to know why I wasn’t… if I didn’t like it, and I… I don’t know, I just kinda told her I’m trans, because I panicked, I didn’t know what else to… and she just… she wasn’t mean, you know, she wasn’t even rude, she just… she didn’t… But one second she’s asking me why I’m not hard for her and the next second she’s thanking me for a nice night and saying it was nice to meet me and she’s hailing a cab and I just… I’m just never gonna… how the hell am I ever gonna find someone who’s not… who doesn’t think I’m a…. I’m a guy, dammit.”

His voice breaks again, and Maggie rocks him, and she kisses his forehead and she strokes his unpierced earlobe, and she lets a single tear slip out of her own eye as she whispers to him, tells him to let it out, tells him to let it go, tell him she’s got him, tells him she loves him.

His ragged breathing evens out after a while, and Alex looks up at them both with wide, sad eyes and a broken heart. She watches Maggie, because she has no idea what to say, no idea what to do, and her heart swells with gratitude, with pride, in her girlfriend, because Maggie is pulling back and stroking Adrian’s stubble lovingly, and drying his tears with her steady fingers.

“Adrian Rodriguez. You are too good for people who aren’t secure enough with themselves to know how to love you. You are too kind, too smart, too powerful, too incredible, for people who don’t look at you and see what I see: a dashing young man with big dreams and a big heart and a big brain, with a perfect smile and a damn sexy body. You’re going to find people who are going to see you for you, Ade. I promise you. It might not be this girl on tinder and it might not be the girl in chem lab that I know you’ve been crushing on because you talk about her like every time we check in.”

“I never said I – “

“I’m a detective, Adrian Rodriguez. I detect.”

“She’s used that line on me, too, kid, don’t feel bad.”

He laughs and Alex smiles as a tear streaks down her pale face and Maggie kisses Adrian’s broad nose.

“It might not be those girls, Ade, but I promise you, you’re going to find people – not just one, either – who are going to really see you, who are going to really love you. You’ve already got that, hell. Maybe not romantically, not yet, but you have time. You have lots of time. I promise. If romance is what you want, that’s exactly what you’re gonna find, because you’re amazing and you’re perfect and you deserve it. You hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” he whispers, and Maggie grins and looks down at Alex with a cocky grin,

“Told you his mama raised him right.”

Alex laughs and Adrian grins. “I love you, Ade. Alright? I love you.”

“I love you, too, Maggie,” he tells her. “And I’m sorry again.”

“For what?”

“Well hey I mean if I’m not getting laid yet, that doesn’t mean I’m trying to stop you from getting some.”

Alex blushes furiously and Maggie smacks him lightly, gently, affectionately, on the shoulder.

“You know what, kid, I take it all back. You’re doomed to a life of isolation and misery.”

But Adrian just beams at her teasing and draws her into his muscled arms.

“Well, if this is what isolation and misery looks like, I’m all for it.”