183. Chapter 183
It’s not how she wanted J’onn to find out, and it’s far from what J’onn would have preferred, too.
Far, far, far from it.
Because when he walks into his earth daughter’s lab and Detective Maggie Sawyer is on the lab bench with her shirt tugged hastily up and her fingers woven into Alex’s hair, whining as she holds her head steady to her chest, he really thinks he’s seen enough of this damn planet.
“Agent Danvers,” he clears his throat, and Maggie’s breathy whining of Alex’s name becomes a curse and he didn’t know Alex could make that kind of squeaking sound.
“Sir,” she breathes, zipping her pants and helping Maggie pull her shirt down, her fingers trying to pat her hair back into some semblance of acceptability as she snaps to attention, lips swollen and slightly parted, breathing hard for very different reasons, suddenly.
Maggie doesn’t turn around as she hops gingerly off the lab bench, because she’s trying so hard to just breathe, breathe, breathe. Because she’s been here before, been caught by someone’s dad before, and it hadn’t been pretty – to say the least – and she was so stupid, she should have known that something so reckless and impulsive would destroy everything.
Like she always does.
“At ease, Alex,” J’onn says, and there’s something in his voice that Maggie can’t identify, and – when she chances a glance up at Alex’s face – she can tell that Alex can’t quite read it, either.
“Detective Sawyer, can I please speak with you for a moment?”
“J’onn, she – ”
“No, Alex, it’s fine. It’s fine.” It’s most certainly not fine, but she squeezes Alex’s hand and she winks softly at her and she puts on a brave face, because he is much more powerful than that father who’d called her into his garage and beaten her senseless for kissing his daughter, but she’s long since trained herself to keep a brave face, so she does.
J’onn doesn’t look at her as she follows him out of the lab, feeling a combination of distinct dread and the panicked urge to laugh, because Alex is supposed to be the one feeling like a teenager again, not her, but god, she does.
He leads her into an office and he gestures her into a seat.
“Prefer to stand, sir,” she clips, forcing herself to look up into his unreadable eyes.
He speaks without preamble, and what he says shocks her. And she didn’t think she could be shocked by much anymore.
“Do you love her, Detective Sawyer?”
“I… Sir?”
“Sit,” he says again, and he sits, too, this time, so she follows suit.
“Detective Sawyer, I know a lot of things about you. Protocol, you understand, for letting you into the DEO so frequently, for partnering with you on cases these past weeks. I know that you won an impressive amount of Intel competition awards throughout high school; that you suffered a compound fracture in your left arm when you were sixteen years old; that you rose to the rank of detective more quickly than anyone else in your graduating class at the academy, largely due to your extensive knowledge of alien life and your community work with LGBTQ children. I know, too, that your first girlfriend in college was an alien of unknown origin, and you helped her fix her pod so she could go back to her planet, even though it broke your heart when she told you she was planning to leave.”
He pauses and Maggie tries not to feel naked. “I…”
J’onn speaks again, and his voice is different, now, a little lighter. A little less stoic DEO Director, and perhaps a little more the stoic DEO Director space dad figure that Alex idolizes so much.
“And now, I know more things about you than I ever wanted to know, and good god, I wish now more than ever that Martians didn’t have such impressive memories.”
Maggie blushes and starts to stammer out an apology, but J’onn continues. “So, now I know that you’re deeply attracted to Agent Danvers. But what I don’t know, Detective Sawyer, is if you love her.”
“You wanna know if I’m good enough for her,” Maggie rasps softly, tears in her throat, and J’onn watches her face closely.
“It hasn’t been that long, you know. And she… she’s just coming to realize… things… about herself. That’s for her to tell you about, and she was planning to, you know, soon. Just trying to find the right time.” She looks up at him and gulps. “But that’s not what you asked. It hasn’t been that long, but I… yeah. Yes. I love her. I… I haven’t told her yet, because I don’t want to rush her, I don’t want to pressure her, but I… I know it hasn’t been long, so maybe this is stupid, but I love your daughter more than I’ve ever loved anyone. She… she’s just… you know Alex, she… she’s perfect. For me. She’s perfect. And as for whether I’m good enough for her? Probably not. Almost definitely not. But I’ve been trying to be, every day. And I’m not going to stop trying to be.”
The skin around J’onn’s eyes crinkle slightly, and his lips tilt upward.
“Alex! You can stop hovering in the hallway now.”
Maggie startles and turns, her mouth open and her eyes wide. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Enough to know that two of the people I love most in the world have got my back,” she whispers, and the tilt of J’onn’s lips becomes a full smile, and Alex crosses the room and slips into his arms.
“Thank you for wanting to protect me.” She turns to Maggie, and there’s pure vulnerability, pure love, in her eyes. “And I feel the same way about you.”
Maggie’s breath hitches and she licks her lips and she can’t speak.
J’onn clears his throat. “Do you two need the afternoon off? Because I certainly don’t need to witness anything – like that – ever again.”
“Yeah, sorry about that, J’onn, I – ’
“We’re just not going to discuss it, Agent Danvers.” His voice is gruff, but his warm hand on her shoulder, and then on Maggie’s as he leaves the room, gives him away.
“Maggie, I – ” Alex steps closer to her and takes her into her arms.
“Never again, Agent Danvers!” J’onn calls without turning around, and Maggie and Alex laugh, laugh, laugh, into each other’s arms.
And if they cry, just a little bit, it’s out of the sweet relief of being so, so loved.