208. Chapter 208

Maggie makes sure to order three times the amount of pizza and potstickers she and Alex would get if they were alone, because Kara is with them and Maggie’s always prided herself on eating a lot, but Kara’s appetite puts hers to shame.

But Kara is quiet while she eats, and Maggie knows something’s off, knows her brain is buzzing at a million miles a second, knows that even though the two of them had fallen into a comfortable rhythm talking about work and reporting and Winn’s latest pool exploits while Alex slipped into the bathroom to take off her strapon, Maggie knows Kara’s mind is elsewhere.

She knows Kara’s mind is on what she walked in on: Maggie bent over the couch, Alex fucking her, hard, with a strapon, from behind, her jeans pooled around her ankles, Maggie’s boy shorts only somewhat down her thighs, Alex moaning and asking for Maggie’s color and Maggie screaming Alex’s name and screaming green, green, harder, please, please Ally, please.

Maggie chews thoughtfully as she glances between Alex and Kara, both of their faces still slightly red, even now.

“You know I might not have your superhearing or J’onn’s mind-reading thing, but I can practically hear your brain buzzing, Little Danvers,” she says, checking with her eyes if the conversation that’s about to unfold is okay with Alex, and Alex nods, because she loves these two women more than anything, so they have to be able to talk about anything.

Kara gulps down an entire potsticker – mostly unchewed, as far as Maggie can tell – and adjusts her glasses. “I… I’m just thinking.”

“About what you walked in on.”

“I’m sorry, I – ”

Alex puts her hand on Kara’s knee and Maggie shakes her head. “No, Kara, I’m not trying to guilt you. I’m trying to get you to talk. It’s okay to talk.”

Kara glances at Alex sheepishly, and Alex wipes her fingers on Kara’s jeans before running them through her sister’s hair slowly. “It’s okay, Kara,” she mirrors Maggie’s words, and Kara nods slowly.

“Why were you asking Maggie what her color is?”

Alex smiles and glances at Maggie, because she remembers when, not too long ago, Maggie was the one explaining all this to her. A swell of pride flutters in her chest, and she leans back into the couch.

“I can’t see her face when we’re… like that. So, especially in moments like that – ”

“But not only in moments like that – ”

“Right. The color thing is a way to check in with each other. Green for keep going, yellow for slow down, red for I need to stop.”

Kara takes Alex’s crust before she gets the chance to bite into it, and Alex just grins and reaches for another slice as Maggie chuckles softly at the Danvers girls’ casual intimacy.

“Why don’t you just say keep going, slow down, or I need to stop?”

“You can. And you do. But two things, Little Danvers: with colors, you’re constantly asking each other, as opposed to leaving it up to the other person to proactively tell you what they need, which can be hard for like, any number of reasons. And, it’s quicker, right, just one word. But also, here’s the thing: words like stop or slow down can be really scary to hear, because I know I’m immediately gonna freak out that I hurt you or something, you know? So it’s a way to communicate what you need without being quite so jarring, even though, like I said, stop and slow down are perfectly valid, too.”

“Except when you don’t want them to be,” Alex offers in a small voice, and Kara furrows her brow.

“She means uh… sometimes, you know… sometimes if you want to roleplay, or play rough, you know, play with power, the color system’s a clearer way to go about things.”

Kara chews slowly and takes another gigantic gulp.

“But you’re gay.” Maggie grins and Alex blushes, and they both wait for Kara to continue. “Why use a…”

“A strap on? A dildo?”

Kara blushes and adjusts her glasses and busies herself with pizza.

“Well first you gotta remember that not all women have the same anatomy, right, so being gay doesn’t have to correspond with anatomical stuff or preference or whatever. But more specifically? It’s hot. Not for everyone, you know, obviously, but if you like penetration, it’s hot. It can be, I mean. To be able to be inside someone and still have your hands free, to be able to have your bodies that close? It’s uh…”

Maggie searches for the word and Alex shyly supplies it. “Intimate.”

Maggie beams softly and kisses Alex’s nose. “Yeah.”

Kara’s eyes flip to Alex, now. “But you don’t get anything out of it, do you? Or like, I mean, how?”

Alex blushes and chews on the inside of her cheek. “It gives you pressure, in uh… the right places. Even if you’re the one wearing it. You just have to position it right, and figure out a rhythm that works for both of you.”

Kara falls silent for the longest stretch of time yet, and Alex and Maggie exchange glances. Alex’s heart races and Maggie’s heart slows, both of them watching Kara carefully, both of them knowing what she’s going to say next, what she’s gathering the courage to say next.

“Alex, would… would you be mad… I don’t want to take attention away from you again, I don’t want to make it about me again, but… would you be mad if I… if I wanted to do that kind of stuff, too? With… women?”

Maggie smiles and Alex swallows, putting gentle, strong fingers under Kara’s chin and tilting her red face up to meet her eyes.

“Kara Zor-el, you are my sister. You are my sister and the only thing I want from you is for you to be true to yourself, for you to be happy. And if that means that Maggie and I have to take you to all the ladies loving ladies clubs with us now and find you a nice woman to be with, or to hook you up with one you already know, then that is perfect. You’re perfect, Kara. I would never be mad at you for being gay, or bi, or whatever. I love you, Kara. I’m always gonna love you. You understand me?”

Kara trembles and her lower lip wobbles, and Maggie keeps her smile but lowers her eyes, because this is a moment for the Danvers sisters and the Danvers sisters alone.

“I’m always gonna love you too, Alex.”