211. Chapter 211

She tells her that she should think about Alex.

She tells her that she needs to remember how much Alex cares for her, how much Alex deserves what she never had.

And she’s not wrong: Alex does deserve beautiful things.

But so does Maggie: so does Maggie, and Kara doesn’t understand – not at first – because Kara is projecting, and Kara is pained.

But she is also, still, Kara.

So she sees the pain flashing behind Maggie’s eyes, and she sees the fear laying in wait there.

She knows that kind of pain, that kind of fear.

Well, not exactly.

But it looks awfully similar to the ghosts in her eyes that stared back at her in the mirror when she first got to earth – when she’d lost everything – and after the Black Mercy, when she’d been forced to lose everything again; and after Astra; and after, just, god, everything.

Kara knows ghosts, and Kara squints at Maggie, because there’s something more than irritation at corporate holidays haunting her eyes.

“Maggie, what is it?” she asks, when she’s about to leave, when she’s about to fly away on her own to deal with the crisis she’s not ready to let anyone help her with yet. She asks, because it looks an awful lot like Maggie is having a crisis she doesn’t want anyone to help her with, too. And she looks like she probably does it a lot.

Something Kara is deeply familiar with.

Maggie doesn’t answer for a moment. She seems startled by the question, startled by the idea that someone would notice, that someone would care to ask.

“Nothing, Kara, it – like I said, I just wanted to apologize, that’s all.”

Kara squints at her and takes a long, deep breath. Maggie looks away first, and that’s how Kara knows for certain that she’s right; that something is very, very wrong.

“Maggie, Alex didn’t tell me what happened, but I… do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can help.”

Maggie stares for an incredulous moment, and she pffts – she must be getting it from Alex, Kara thinks vaguely – and she crosses her arms over her chest.

“It’s nothing, it’s whatever, Kara, just – just let Alex know I’m looking for her, will you please?”

She starts to walk away, and Kara stills her with a gentle but firm hand hovering just over her elbow, not quite touching her, because Maggie is tense and Maggie is scared and Maggie might not want unexpected touch right now.

“Maggie, my planet died. My people. I know something about that look on your face. That… losing everything face. What happened?”

Her voice is soft and her voice is low, and Maggie’s heart threatens to burst because she’s always wondered what it’s like to have a sister who loves her like this.

“I lied to your sister.”

Kara bristles and Maggie shakes her head and chuckles, just a bit.

“No need to break out the heat vision, Little Danvers, not like that. I… I told her my parents were cool about me coming out.”

She swallows and glances at Kara’s ocean eyes and forces herself to continue, forces herself to talk to Alex’s kid sister, because Alex’s kid sister isn’t exactly a kid, and she looks like she needs to focus on something other than her own worries right now, anyway.

“They weren’t. Okay with it. I was outed. I was fourteen. My dad kicked me out. My aunt took me in. It was… it was Valentine’s Day, when it happened. Why it happened.”

“Oh, Maggie,” Kara whispers, and her hands hover out to her sides, and Maggie nods almost imperceptibly, and Kara brings them gently to touch Maggie’s arms.

“And Alex didn’t know, and she tried to do a Valentine’s thing for you, and it sparked…”

“Memories, right.”

Kara’s eyes are swimming with tears now, but Maggie can’t see because Maggie is looking anywhere but at Kara.

“Maggie, it’s not Alex’s fault, I… I encouraged her, I asked her what you like, and I told her to make a custom-made Maggie Sawyer Valentine’s Day, so that maybe you could like it again, but Maggie, I didn’t know, I… I didn’t really hear you, Alex didn’t really hear you, and I… I am so sorry…”

It’s that acknowledgment, that insight, that makes Maggie force her eyes up to Kara’s again.

“I freaked out, Little Danvers. What if she’s angry, what if she doesn’t want me anymore, what if… what if I’m too… messed up for her?”

To Maggie surprise, Kara smiles softly, and she runs a gentle finger through Maggie’s long hair.

“Maggie, my sister… my sister is wild about you. My sister has never… I don’t think she’s ever really been in love, Maggie, but with you, I… Maggie, she doesn’t care so much about you because of who she thinks you are. She’s not dating only part of you. She’s dating all of you. She wants to be dating all of you, she wants to know all of you. I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but I know Alex, better than anyone, and Alex lo… Alex really cares about you, Maggie. Deeply. She’s not going to run because you have ghosts in your past. So does she. Maybe your ghosts can comfort each other, you know?”

Maggie is swallowing the painful lump in her throat and she’s forcing tears back into her eyes and she’s tilting her head and clenching her jaw and breathing slow, slow, slow.

“You’re amazing, Kara.”

“So are you, Maggie.”

“I… I want to do something for Alex. I… she deserves… hell, we both deserve… the things we never got. I… I have an idea, but… do you think you could get J’onn and James and Winn to help me?”

Kara’s all smiles, now, and Maggie can’t help but smile, too, because damn, the Danvers sisters have the most infectious joy.

“What do you need them to do?”

“Well, for starters, I’m gonna need Winn to whip up a dress…”