219. Chapter 219

She knows Maggie doesn’t know how to take compliments.

I think you’re a great cop.

You getting soft on me?

All Alex’s questions about how she could possibly not like Maggie, what an amazing woman she is.

Those lowered eyes, the storms that rage in them when she finally does look back up, when she finally does do that thing with her mouth and stare up at Alex in shuttered disbelief, barely concealed shock.

The first time Alex calls her beautiful (to her face, anyway), and Maggie just kisses her, kisses her, kisses her so she doesn’t have to respond, kisses her so she doesn’t have to let Alex see that she doesn’t know what to do with her hands, with her eyes, with her heart.

Sometimes it’s more subtle than others.

When Adrian thanks her for being so amazing with him and all his friends, and Maggie just shakes her head with a small, unreadable smile and puts him in a gentle headlock and kisses his short-cropped hair.

When James comments off-hand that Alex is really lucky to have her, that they’re all lucky she’s becoming part of their family, something flashes behind her eyes and something tenses in her shoulders and even though she smiles, she makes sure that everyone knows that she’s the lucky one to be with Alex, not the other way around.

When she walks in on Kara gushing to J’onn about how amazing her cooking is, how much she makes Alex light up at game night, she pretends she doesn’t hear it, pretends so she doesn’t have to accept the praise, accept the love, accept the appreciation.

Alex knows Maggie isn’t good at taking compliments.

She also knows that she’s getting better, slowly, slowly.

The first day she calls Maggie brilliant and Maggie doesn’t flinch, Alex’s heart swells with pride.

But it’s not all linear progress, and sometimes it’s not just about not being able to take compliments.

Sometimes, it’s about spewing venom about herself.

And Alex is willing to be patient with Maggie learning how to accept praise.

But hearing Maggie talk about herself like… that? No no no. Alex will have none of that.

So when they’re at the bar and Alex is making Winn and James laugh with a story about how some woman had tried to pick her up and Alex had had to explain that she’s already taken, she feels Maggie melt and she hears her when she mutters something about Don’t want to limit your opportunities, Danvers, she could probably give you a lot better than I ever could anyway, Alex is cutting off her story and James and Winn are confused because they didn’t hear Maggie, but Alex did, and Alex won’t have it.

“Maggie Sawyer, being with you is freedom, not limiting. And you… no one can give me better, give me more, than what you do. You’re perfect for me, Maggie: you said it, we’re right for each other. No stupid story about some girl who I couldn’t see anyway because I was too busy thinking about you is ever gonna change that.”

James smiles softly and Winn awws and Maggie doesn’t know what to do other than kiss Alex, so she does, because no one’s ever stood up to her for the sake of herself before.

And when they’re laying at home and Maggie is giving Alex a backrub and her phone chimes and she curses because it’s work and Ugh, you don’t deserve this, Danvers, you deserve someone who can stay and give you everything you want, I’m sorry, you deserve so much better, Alex just straight-up cuts her off.

“No, you know what, Maggie, you’re right. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve someone as dedicated and committed and passionate as you are, but I sure as hell am dedicated and committed and passionate to living up to the honor of being your girlfriend. I’m not going anywhere, Mags; when you get home we can both get backrubs, how about that?”

Maggie gulps and she nods and she blinks down tears and her heart races because someone this beautiful, someone this perfect, is fighting, not with her, but for her.

And when they’re at dinner and Maggie is – finally – telling her a story about her father, she interrupts herself, because you know what, it’s whatever, I’m sorry, you didn’t sign up for listening to a grown woman whine about decade-old bullshit that she probably deserved anyway, Alex bristles, and Alex shakes her head firmly, and Alex refuses to let it slide.

“You’re right Maggie, I didn’t. But I did sign up to be here for a beautiful, strong, incredible woman who’s giving me an amazing gift by trusting me enough to share pieces of absolutely undeserved abuse she’s been tough enough and kind enough and brave enough to survive.”

Maggie blinks and Maggie reaches for Alex’s hand across the table and holds onto it like it’s her lifeline, like it’s her reminder, her proof, that she can be loved, that she deserves to be loved, that she is worthy of this beautiful woman who’s all dressed up for her and dedicated to loving her just right.

Because she can, and she does, and she is.