358. Chapter 358
He waits.
He waits, because his children come first.
Kara comes first, her bursting need to touch her sister, to make sure she’s real, to make sure she’s really breathing, to make sure she knows that Kara is sorry, sorry, sorry, because she knows she blames herself for the water, and he knows that Alex will comfort her, and Kara will comfort Alex, and they need it so, so badly. They need each other so, so badly.
Maggie comes first, her skills at getting into a person’s head nearly as impressive as his own, and hell, he’s psychic, her ability to keep her cool, to keep her conviction, to keep her temper, when J'onn had been having trouble with his own, balancing perfectly with Kara, with Supergirl – just like Maggie balances perfectly with their other Danvers girl – and he knows, he knows, because it’s radiating off of them both, that they have things to tell each other. Important things. Things that can’t wait, because they’ve already waited too long.
Winn comes first, his tears held back for so long, his tears lost in his fingers, flying across keyboard after keyboard, running cross-check after cross-check, algorithm after algorithm, and Winn helped them save her, helped them more than any other techie would even know how to begin, but he knows – because it’s radiating off of Winn, too – that he wants to apologize, too, because he should have done more, he should have been more creative, because he loves her, god, he loves her, because she’s his sister and she’s his world and he’s sorry, too, that he stole her from hidden stash of Reese’s Pieces the other day, and he knows they joke all the time, but god, he loves her like she’s never thought he could love anyone. Family.
James comes first, his fists clenched for hours, running interference between Kara and Maggie while his own heart threatened to burst, because Alex saves him, and he saves Alex, and he understands Alex, and Alex understands him, because when Kara was under the Black Mercy he knew, and she knew he would know, that she would rather die than let go of Kara, and that’s what she just almost did again, and he hated being able to do nothing, but they’d had nothing to go on, and he’d run all the searches that Winn asked him to with his CatCo contacts but nothing, nothing, nothing, and he couldn’t save her this time, but she had to live so they could keep saving each other, keep taunting each other at game night, keep taking photoshoots of her for Maggie, because he’s never had a sister, but god, he’s always wanted one, and that’s Alex, Alex, Alex.
His children had come first.
Alex’s siblings, and Alex’s girlfriend, had come first.
J'onn had waited.
And he was a patient man.
But this was one of the longest waits of his long, long life.
He knows he should be angry when he sees her stumbling out of the med bay, supported by Maggie, announcing resignedly that she refused to stay in bed.
He knows he should reprimand her and send her right back.
He knows, but he can’t, he can’t, he can’t.
Because his girl is alive.
His girl is standing.
His girl is… breathing.
His daughter.
She falls effortlessly from Maggie’s arms into his when he strides over, strides over and envelops her in his arms, in his hands.
Envelops her like his arms alone can protect her, can keep her safe, can prevent this from ever happening again, can turn back time and prevent it from happening to her in the first place.
“I love you, Alex,” he whispers to her, and he feels her chest rack with a sob in his arms. His own threatens to do the same.
“I love you too,” she chokes back, and it’s been so long since he’s cried like this, but by the gods he doesn’t care who sees, because he’s already lost everything.
He couldn’t stand to lose everything again.
And here everything was – is, is, is – in his arms. Safe.
A little shaky. A little unsteady. More than a little traumatized.
But safe. Safe. Safe.
Alive.
He pulls back so he can look her in the eyes, and he stares for longer than he ever has. She lets him, because she needs to see his eyes, too.
“I’m so sorry it took us so long,” he says, because his children weren’t the only ones with apologies.
But she shakes her head and she kisses his cheek and she frames his face with her lethal, fragile hands.
“I’m home now. I’m home,” she tells him, and he hates that she’s the one comforting him, but she wouldn’t be his Alex Danvers if she weren’t.
“You need to let your girl take care of you,” he tells her as she sways a little in his arms, and her ears redden, and Maggie beams behind him.
“She’s a stubborn one,” she chimes, and he laughs.
“That she is.” He strokes her face with the backs of his fingers. Just once.
She melts into her father’s touch.
“You are the bravest woman I have ever met, Alex Danvers.” He pauses and grins. “And I’m surrounded by you all every day.”
Maggie and Kara laugh wetly, and J'onn knows they’ll be writing M'gann about his comment, and he knows she’ll tease him about it, and he knows it will make him proud.
To have this family to joke with.
To have this family alive, alive.
Alive.