414. Chapter 414

Her body shakes and her tears flow, and now is really not a good time for her to be reacting so negatively to the presence of water on her face.

Now is really not a good time for her to be relieving nearly drowning in that damn tank.

But she is, she is, because when her fingers were hovering over a button that would actually do something, the control was still hers.

Now, she had no choice.

Now, she had no option.

Now, she’s failed Kara – failed her, because Kara would have wanted her to press the damn thing – Kara would have wanted her to save everyone.

The entire city.

The entire world.

But Alex had hesitated.

She’d hesitated because she’s selfish.

Putting her love for her sister over countless people’s love for every other sister, sibling, brother, on the damn planet.

Selfish.

Indecisive.

Weak.

She’s failed Kara. She’s failed J’onn. She’s failed the entire damn city. The entire damn planet.

So much for J’onn’s faith in her.

So much for Kara’s love.

Because Kara might be alive, but now she’s going to have to watch a second planet crumble to its knees, and it will be Alex’s fault.

Alex’s fault, because she waited too long, she hesitated too hard.

Waited too long, and now there was no choice. Now there was no weapon.

Now there was no way out.

“She’s going to get home, Alex,” Maggie tells her, and Alex shakes her head violently, sobbing, because she thinks Maggie doesn’t know.

But she does. God, she does, and as she pulls Alex into her arms, she tells her so.

“Alex, Kara is going to get home, and this? We’re gonna fix this, Alex. We’re gonna figure it out. I promise.”

“There’s nothing to fix, Maggie!” Alex backs away, and she hears her voice squeak with tears and she doesn’t even care.

“I just condemned the entire planet to… to… and because I hesitated, I couldn’t follow orders, I – “

“Alex, whoa whoa whoa, listen to me. Not every order is made to be followed, okay?”

Alex stops and sniffs and lets Maggie continue touching her, continue stroking her cheek, continue wiping her tears.

“Thought you were a good cop, Sawyer.”

“Yeah, and to be a good cop, sometimes you gotta disobey orders that aren’t right. And Alex, you can’t… you can’t be asked to fire on your sister. Or commit genocide. Because if those really are all the Daxamite survivors, Alex? That’s exactly what she was asking you to do. Kill off an entire species. There are more ways to do this, Danvers. We’re just gonna have to work a little harder to think of one. And we will. Together. You and me. Okay?”

“You don’t think I’m a bad person?”

Maggie sobs a smile and leans up on her tip toes to press a kiss to Alex’s mouth.

“No. I think you’re a person who loves so deeply it kills you inside, and that’s exactly the kind of person we need to get us out of this. Alright, Alex? We’ve got this. You and me.”

Alex nods, letting the mantra sink over her and into her skin and into her blood.

“You and me,” she repeats, and she believes it.