441. Chapter 441

It’s nothing she hasn’t seen before.

Her sister being punched. Her sister being kicked.

Her sister being beaten.

But by her cousin?

By someone who matches her strength like this, and possibly even exceeds it?

By someone she loves?

Alex tries not to shudder, because she remembers every moment of trying to kill her sister in that damned kryptonite suit, against her will, against her body, against her soul.

Alex tries not to shudder, and she fails, because she remembers that look on Kara’s face.

That steely determination that knows she cannot let someone she loves win.

That utter despair, that endless agony, of having to hurt someone whose eyes normally show nothing but love for you.

She hates every moment of it, and when Superman falls, Alex isn’t surprised.

She isn’t surprised because that’s her sister, that’s her sister, that’s her sister, and when she runs to her, when she gathers her into her arms, she tells her she has her, because she always, always, always will.

But sometimes, she can’t. Sometimes, she can’t, like when Kara is stupid beyond belief.

Stupid because she accepts a virtual death match with Rhea – not only accepts it, but proposes it, challenges it – and Alex believes in Kara.

Alex believes in Kara more than she’s ever believed in anything or anyone.

But god, please, no.

Alex herself almost died last week.

Not again, not with the roles reversed.

Put Alex back in that cage.

Anything.

Just not Kara.

Not Kara.

Never Kara.

She has no choice – something about ancient tradition and blood oaths and saving the entire planet – but that doesn’t mean she’s alright with it.

She has no choice. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t find the nearest bathroom and hyperventilate her way through a panic attack.

Her fifth since the tank.

Since Rick Malverne and that credit card and Supergirl is bigger than me.

She doesn’t know how and she doesn’t know when, but suddenly Maggie is there, arms around her from behind, chin resting on her shoulder, hand on her chest between her breasts.

“Breathe into my hand, Ally,” she whispers in her softest bedroom voice, like they’re safe and clean and making love at home instead of on the brink of destruction of filthy and cowering in a DEO bathroom.

Alex lets the fantasy pull her and she does her best to obey. She does her best, but her best – as always – isn’t good enough.

Maggie tries another tactic.

“She’s going to be alright, Alex. She just beat the shit out of a possessed Superman. Kara’s got serious game, Danvers, just like her big sister. She’s a survivor, okay? She’s gonna make it through this. She’s gonna win.”

Alex wracks through a sob and she turns in Maggie’s arms, facing her.

“You can’t know that, Maggie, you can’t – “

“Yes, I do. Just like I knew you were gonna hold on for me last week; just like I knew you were gonna get home safe from that ship with the Cadmus attack; just like you knew J’onn was going to wake up; just like you knew Kara could beat her cousin just now.”

“She’s my little sister, Maggie. She’s just my little sister.”

“She’s not just anything, Danvers. Being your little sister? Means she’s learned a lot about how to be tough. About how to be a fighter. About how to win. Alright, Alex?”

Alex nods slowly and lets Maggie wipe her tears, lets Maggie hold her steady while her body sync back in with itself.

It syncs right back out, though, when she hears Rhea’s voice and Kara’s groans in her earpiece. Telling her about Daxamite blood.

Telling her everything her boyfriend never got around to telling her.

Telling her that her sister needs her, ancient battle rituals or no ancient battle rituals.

Alex taps herself into Kara’s suit communique and she calls to her.

“Kara, it’s me. Don’t respond: I know you have to focus on Rhea. Just listen to me, Kara: you can do this. I believe in you, okay? You told me once that you needed my faith more than that cape. Well you have it, Kara, every moment of every day, do you hear me? I love you, and I can’t lose you, Kara. I know everything hurts right now. I know, and I am so sorry. But I believe in you. The world needs you, and I need my sister. You can do this, Kara. You can – “

The connection shorts out – Rhea must have given Kara a solid hit – and Alex collapses forward onto the command station, weaving her fingers through her hair and waiting through the agony of silence.

She can’t hear it, but up on that roof? Up on that roof, Kara can feel it. Alex’s love coursing through her blood stronger than kryptonite could ever course through Rhea’s.

She grunts, and she braces, and she stops Rhea’s next blow.

Clark was right: love really can get us where we need to go.