464. Chapter 464

Alex manages to make it to the pizza place without tripping over themself, and Maggie manages to make it to the pizza place without bolting out of fear.

Fear that Alex’s arm is too gentle around her shoulder; that Alex is too careful to keep checking in with Maggie to make sure it’s alright that their arm is there; that Alex looks at her too genuinely, makes her laugh too easily.

Fear that she can get lost in Alex’s eyes, in Alex’s smile, in Alex’s body.

God, Alex’s body.

Fear that she can get lost in Alex, and interweave them into the fiber of her being, and when they leave – and why wouldn’t they leave? they only just met, for crying out loud – Maggie will shatter into irreparable pieces.

“So you never said,” Alex breaks an easy silence – a silence that scares Maggie with how comfortable it feels – “if you um… if you’ve only dated girls before. I mean, not that I’m – not that – I mean I know you said this can be a date. That this is a date. But I’m not trying to say that means we’re dating, that’ll be up to you, I mean, I only meant – “

“Whoa, hey, hey, Danvers, breathe. You’re okay. It’s okay.” Maggie leans into their body slightly as they walk, as Alex tugs open the door to the pizza place and steps back for Maggie to walk through.

Maggie arches an eyebrow, purses her lips, tilts her head, and bows her head slightly in thanks.

Alex gulps.

“Yeah, only girls. But uh…” Maggie looks over her shoulder and Alex melts at her smile. “I have no problem making an exception for someone as charming as you.”

Alex practically giggles. “Lucy says I have about as much charm as a horse’s ass.”

“Lucy must have terrible taste,” Maggie grins, slipping her hand into her jacket pocket for a thin, black wallet. She orders to cheeseless slices and motions for Alex to get whatever they want.

“No, no, you don’t have to pay – “

“I asked you out, I’ll grab it, no problem. If that’s okay? I figure you can, uh…” Maggie glances at Alex’s lips and blushes, suddenly breathless. “I figure you can get next time.”

Alex nearly chokes on air, and Maggie revels in the strength of their reaction to her flirtation.

“So you’ve got an overly demanding mom. Any siblings?” Maggie asks as she hands over cash to the curious-looking boy at the register.

Alex beams suddenly. “One. A little sister. Kara. She’s everything, she’s my… she’s my everything. She’s a genius at physics, but it’s not her thing, she likes painting better. She’s a senior in high school, she wants to come here in the fall, and she – I’m sorry. Rambling about my little sister, I – “

“No, it’s cute,” Maggie laughs genuinely, lowering her eyes.

Lowering her eyes, because god if she keeps looking at Alex, she’ll kiss them.

She’ll kiss them and she’ll beg them to screw the pizza and take her home and make love to her, because god, it doesn’t matter that they just met, they seem perfect, perfect, perfect, and Maggie hasn’t felt like this since…

“Anyway,” she clears her throat. “I asked. About siblings.”

Alex blushes at her generosity and thanks the boy at the register – his name tag says Jessy – for passing them their slices and cans of root beer and seltzer.

“What about you?” Alex asks as they maneuver to a plastic table, grabbing napkins and red pepper flakes and oregano along the way. “Siblings?”

The ghost of agony flits across Maggie’s face, but she wipes it away so quickly Alex thinks for a moment they imagined it.

“Nope. No family, really. I mean, they’re alive, just not… it’s whatever. But I’ve got this kid – I mean, not my kid, just, this friend, who’s younger, he’s a sophomore in high school right now – Adrian, his name is – he’s like my little brother. So actually, I take it back. Yeah. One. A brother. Ade. He’s a total nerd, he…” Her eyes flit down to Alex’s flattened chest, up to their undercut. “I think you two would get along.”

Alex chuckles and lets grease slip off the end of her pizza. “What makes you say that?”

Maggie shrugs. “You two might have a lot to talk about, gender-wise. He uh… he transitioned last year.”

Alex sits up a little straighter. “Is that why you know… about binding and stuff?”

Maggie takes a bite of her slice that leaves sauce on the side of her mouth. Alex grins and holds their hand out, hesitating before touching Maggie’s face. Maggie nods, her eyes wide, her chewing paused, and Alex swipes the sauce into Maggie’s lips with baited breath and eyes like they’re intently studying a work of art. Maggie’s tongue flits out of her mouth and their eyes lock. Alex brings their trembling hand back to their side of the table, bringing their finger to their mouth and absently licking it clean of sauce. Maggie’s breath hitches at the motion.

They both gulp, Maggie painfully, because her pizza was mostly unchewed. They both giggle slightly. Maggie clears her throat.

“Thank you. For… thanks. And yeah, partially. Adrian, I mean. And binding. But also, you know.” She shrugs. “I feel like it’s our job to learn about each other. Look out for each other.”

Her pupils dilate at the statement – Alex just met her, sure, but they’ve already said they want to look out for her; Maggie’s still getting her head around why – and Alex misses their mouth with their pizza.

“Nice to have people looking out for you.”

Maggie shrugs. “I wouldn’t really know.”

“Yeah, you said. What uh… what’s up with that? How could someone not want to look out for you?”

Maggie laughs ruefully. “Easily enough, apparently. But hey, less depressing topic for a hot minute – what classes have you got this term? You said you’re not doing so great – maybe I could uh… help you out with some?”

Alex chuckles. “Not unless you’ve taken biochem and have the patience to deal with my depressed, anxious, perfectionist ass.”

“I have, and I do, actually.”

Their eyes lock, hard, and Maggie suddenly wishes they’d gone back to her dorm room instead of to a pizza place, because Alex’s eyes are suddenly flooded with tears.

“I’m sorry, we just met, I shouldn’t – “

“No, no, no, hey. Maggie. You’re okay, I just… I like this. Spending time with you. Getting to know you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Keep doing it then, Danvers.”

Alex licks their lips and gulps nervously, happily. Hopefully. “If you want me to, I definitely I will.”