512. Chapter 512

She hasn’t told her mother yet.

It hurts her – to not.

Eliza gets a lot of things wrong, but she also gets a lot of things right: and while Alex is so good at lying that she can fool a polygraph, the whole secrets thing really doesn’t agree with her.

It had, in the beginning; when she first joined the DEO, when she finally had something of her own. Something all hers, something… something that made her special. In her own right.

But it wore on her, grated on her.

Because secrets really don’t agree with her.

But she hasn’t told Eliza yet – about the ring, about the plans – because she knows what her mother will say, and she just wants to enjoy.

Enjoy being engaged to the woman she loves without the stress of Eliza’s judgment of it’s too soon and are you sure, Alexandra? and you’re just coming out, sweetie, don’t you think you need to expand your horizons a little bit before settling down?

But she also knows that Eliza loves Maggie.

And that’s the second problem with telling her.

Because she wants Eliza’s approval and she wants Eliza’s support – it’s all she’s ever wanted – and Maggie? Maggie has it.

Maybe Eliza won’t be too big of a fan of the engagement right away, but she’s quite fond of the woman who fights for both of her daughters, who plays pool with her science nerd son, who fights crime with her almost son-in-law son (and she really needs to speak to Kara about Mr. Olsen, because really, how could Alex let her let him go?).

And that’s also what Alex is afraid of.

Because they won’t be telling Maggie’s family.

Because Maggie’s family won’t be there, won’t support her, won’t love her.

And if Maggie can’t have her family, a part of Alex doesn’t want her to have to see Alex having hers. Doesn’t want her to go through that pain.

So she hasn’t told her.

But she’s running late – working on new tech with Lena and Winn, on the communicator with Cisco Ramon, always makes her lose track of time – so she forgets.

Forgets to take her engagement ring off.

And Eliza might not be a secret agent, but Alex gets it from somewhere.

She notices. Of course she notices.

“It seems like you have something to tell me, sweetie,” she tells her right after she hugs her, right as they’re sitting down, right after she’s taken stock of the way Alex seems friendly with everyone who works at Noonan’s – right after she’s taken stock of the way Alex seems, now, to interact with people outside her work.

She wonders when that happened, and she thinks it probably has something to do with the ring on her left hand.

“Um, yeah, I told you, Mom – didn’t you get my text? – we were working on an atmospheric – “

“No, no, dear, I know you lost track of time in the lab.” She chuckles softly to herself. “Like mother, like daughter, I suppose. No, Alex, I meant… something else.”

She doesn’t glance down at Alex’s ring; she doesn’t move her eyes from her eldest’s face at all.

She doesn’t have to. Because suddenly, Alex reaches for her left hand, for her fourth finger. She reaches, and she groans.

“Mom, I – it just happened, it’s recent, I didn’t want to um… I didn’t want to tell you on the phone – “

“You mean you didn’t want to tell me.”

“Mom – “

“Is it because you know how soon this is, Alexandra? Maggie’s a sweet girl, honey, a really lovely girl, and I’m not saying you should break up – god knows, she seems good for you, Alex – but marriage? Don’t you think – “

“Don’t you think you should congratulate me, Mom?” Alex deadpans, her voice as cold as the gun in her waistband, and Eliza’s stomach sinks, because her daughter has always been… headstrong.

But the edges of her voice have the damage of a soldier, now, the ice of a warrior, and it breaks her heart.

Especially because she knows – she knows – how much Maggie has been thawing that ice for Alex. With Alex.

“I… yes, dear, I… congratulations, Alexan – Alex – I want to hear all about it. I just… it’s my job to worry about you, Alex, surely you can – “

“Yeah. I get it.”

“Alexandra – “

“I know a year is short, Mom. I know. I know everything you’re going to say. But you know what, our lives are short, too. I almost died, Mom, I was…”

Tears swirl in her eyes suddenly, unwelcome, and she has to remind herself that there is no water filling her lungs. “The whole world almost died. And Maggie… Maggie fought her way through the streets, alone, out of ammo for a quarter of her trip, saving school kids on the way to me. To me, Mom. The world was ending and she fought and saved people on her way to me. I held on for her, for Kara, I held on, I…”

Her voice breaks and her jaw sets, and Eliza finds her hand covering her eldest’s; she finds that she can feel the scar tissues in her daughter’s body, that she can hear the scar tissue around her heart.

“You held on for you, sweetie,” Eliza whispers with a soft smile. “It was your love for them that kept you holding you. You. Your love. Your heart. Your mind has always been brilliant, Alex, but your heart has always been your superpower.”

Alex refuses to break – the entire reason she chose Noonan’s was that a public place would be less likely to precipitate an outburst – but she can’t stop the tears cascading down her face.

“All that, but you still think it’s too soon to get married,” she murmurs, and Eliza sighs.

“I just wonder why a woman, kind as she is, who initially rejected you because you were just coming out would be agreeing to marry you less than a year later, sweetie. Everything you’ve been through can also be an argument for not making big life decisions, you know, dear – “

“Mom, I’m marrying her. That’s the end of it. She’s not manipulating me or taking advantage of what I’ve been through or – “

“Why don’t we just enjoy our time together, Alexandra?” she interrupts, and Alex holds her breath, counts like she’s been working on with Sara Lance, sets her jaw, nods, and tries to keep her hands from trembling.

They stick to calmer topics throughout the rest of lunch – the latest research in bioengineering, Winn and Lena’s latest project, how Lucy’s doing – and they almost make it through without Alex’s phone chiming.

“Sorry,” she stammers, “it’s probably work, I have to – oh!” A smile slips over her face – a smile Eliza has rarely seen, one that seems to reverberate through Alex’s entire body – and she blushes. “Um, Mom, uh… Maggie’s heading over here to get coffee for her colleagues, she uh… she wanted to give me a heads up. Because she knows I’m here with you.”

Eliza stiffens slightly. “Of course, dear, it’d be lovely to see your fiancee.”

Alex nearly rises, nearly yells, but she just stiffens her core like she’s bracing for a punch, and she tries to exhale the way Maggie’s been teaching her.

She nods curtly and they sit in painful silence until Eliza clears her throat and asks Alex about how James is feeling with all his new superhero duties.

Alex launches in readily, eager for the distraction. So eager, so relieved, to lose herself in talking about her training sessions with their brother that she doesn’t hear the chime on the door ring, doesn’t turn to see her fiancee slipping up behind her.

Doesn’t know Maggie’s come into Noonan’s, motorcycle helmet in hand, detective shield gleaming, grey henley under perfect leather jacket, until she feels her hand tracing up Alex’s arm, until she feels her soft lips on her temple, until she feels her breath in her ear and hears the words she needs to hear more than anything right now: “I’m so proud of you, Ally. I love you,” Maggie whispers, soft so Eliza can’t hear, quickly so the praise, the love, can seep through Alex’s veins and uncord her tense body.

And it works: Alex melts immediately into Maggie’s touch, into Maggie’s voice, and Eliza has never seen her so relaxed in public. So affectionate with anyone other than Kara.

Because Alex’s hand finds Maggie’s immediately, instinctively; their fingers interlink like they were created to fit each other’s, and when her eldest tilts her fiancee’s chin with a gentle finger so they can exchange a soft kiss on the mouth, Eliza knows.

Knows that Alex has discovered romantic intimacy.

That Alex is guarded. That Alex is prioritized. That she’s cared for and that she’s worshiped and that she’s truly, utterly loved.

Because Alex would never kiss anyone like that, so casual yet so intimate, so natural yet so needed. So perfect.

“Maggie, sweetheart,” Eliza stands, and Maggie gulps and smiles as she straightens up, accepting Eliza’s hug with one arm, fighting not to cry at a mother’s warm touch.

“Lovely to see you, Dr. Danvers,” she tells her, and it doesn’t sound at all like the rehearsed lines Alex’s college boyfriends had given. It sounds confident, if nervous; genuine, if full of underlying turmoil, underlying emotion, underlying scar tissue.

Confident, because this woman loves her daughter. Wholly and completely.

“I see congratulations are in order,” she tells her as she pulls back from the hug, and Maggie nearly drops her helmet. Alex takes her hand and Maggie clings to it.

“Dr. Danvers, I – “

“Kara mentioned earlier that you’re not the closest with your family, Maggie, and forgive me if this is forward, but I would be honored to take you wedding clothes shopping when the time comes. If you’ll have me.”

Maggie’s lip trembles and Alex’s chest wracks with a sob.

And Noonan’s has never seen, before or since, a more emotional, a more relieved, a more cathartic, a more healing, three-person hug.