544. Chapter 544
She’s asked her the thing that was hard.
Kara told her to never let Maggie go, and Alex never was one for hesitation.
So she’s already asked her the thing that was hard.
The whole ‘marry me’ thing.
But after that comes a slew of other questions. A slew of questions that maybe should have come before the first question, but hey, they wanted a lifetime of firsts; they never said they had to be in a particular order.
So they’d stayed up late – so many late, late, beautiful nights – curled in each other’s arms and asking soft questions and giving thoughtful answers about what marriage means to each of them. If they want children. What their finances will look like. House or apartment. Put roots down in National City before traveling, or life a lot of places. Combining health insurance plans. Taxes. Monogamy. The eventuality of getting crushes on other women, and how they’ll deal with it.
But in the midst of all that, Alex hasn’t asked Maggie about the ceremony itself. About whether they can have a service that incorporates whatever’s important to Maggie, of course, but also Kryptonian elements to honor Kara, and Jewish elements to honor Alex.
She’s always been embarrassed about her faith.
About how proud she was the first time her father let her wear a kippah and led her through making kiddush in Hebrew.
About how meaningful it had been, how painful but how fitting, when she’d taken her father’s place at the head of the table, the year he’d disappeared from her life, and led the sedar in a shaky voice, with trembling hands and wet eyes.
The way Eliza had held her when Kara went to search for the afikoman – no x-ray vision allowed – and told her that she was proud of her.
She’s always been embarrassed, because faith is incongruous with being a scientist, isn’t it?
And now, isn’t it incongruous with being… well, with being a lesbian?
So she paces and she wrings her hands, and when the door finally cracks open, she jumps, and she gulps and she turns, but it isn’t Maggie that steps into the apartment.
It’s Adrian.
“Hey Agent Danvers, sorry, Maggie said I could come over to study, I – hey, you okay? You’re doing that nervous pacing thing Maggie talks about.”
“Maggie told you about my – “
“Maggie tells me everything. Everything,” he emphasizes with a cheeky wink, and Alex laughs despite herself as she tugs him in for a hug.
“What are you studying, Ade?” she asks, but he shakes his head resolutely as he shrugs his saddle bag onto the floor and kicks off his converse.
“Nope. We can do that later. Something’s wrong. Talk to Uncle Adrian.”
Alex furrows her brow at him and he shrugs. “Listen, you two might be my queer mamas, but I’m a big boy, I can dispense advice like a champ.”
“You are a champ, kid,” she nudges him with her shoulder, and he nudges her back proudly.
“Seriously, Alex. What’s up?”
He grabs two bottles of root beer out of the fridge, tosses her one, and strides over to collapse onto the couch.
Alex thinks about how tall he’s getting, and she sighs as she sits down next to him.
“You know I’m Jewish, right?”
Adrian sips while he nods. “Kara was telling me about how you all used to combine Kryptonian and Jewish stuff for holidays.”
Alex grins. “Yeah. I… for the wedding, I want to… do you know what a chuppah is?”
Adrian shakes his head, and Alex takes another swig of her root beer.
“It’s like this canopy thing. Jewish couples get married under it. And I know Maggie’s not Jewish, but I… I never really thought about getting married. As a kid. I wasn’t one of those girls who fantasized about it, you know?”
“Probably because you couldn’t imagine yourself with some man,” Adrian nods knowingly, and Alex clinks her bottle against his.
“Probably. But for some reason, I don’t know. Some of those things are… are important to me, but I don’t want to… I’m gay, we’re gay, lesbians, you know – “
“Yes, incidentally, I’m aware – hey!”
He swats away the pillow she hits him with.
“I just… I don’t want to offend Maggie, or hurt her, or something. By asking to have something religious part of our ceremony. Especially a religion that’s not hers. I don’t – “
“Alex, hey, hey, you don’t have to cry. She loves you. Maggie loves you so damn much it’s almost annoying, always Alex this and Danvers that and yes god Danvers don’t stop – “
“Ade!”
“I mean, that last one was a guess. Which I imagine was pretty accurate – ow! no more pillow attacks, not all of us have DEO training! – but really, Alex. Tell her exactly that – that you don’t want to trigger her, and you’re open to compromise and all that, but this is important to you.”
“But it’s… it’s stupid that it’s important to me. Isn’t it? Religion? And science, and… and lesbianness?”
Adrian sighs and shakes his head. “You know my folks are really religious, right? But you know what they get from their religion? That they should love their damn kid. Unconditionally. And Alex, Maggie… you know, I think that’s what Maggie loves most about you. The way you’re like, super hard and scary – Winn’s words, not mine – but also kind and soft and bottom-y and stuff. Ow! Not all the time, I know – hey! – I’m just saying, she loves how you’re both. How you’re everything, you know? She’ll love that you’re all hardcore sciencey and yet your Jewishness is important to you, and she’ll love that you’re a religious, or spiritual, or cultural, whatever word you want, lesbian. She’ll love it because she loves you. How much you hold in your personality. You know?”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Danvers.”
Maggie’s voice in the doorway makes them both jump slightly.
“Hey babe!”
“Maggie! We were just talking about you.”
“Yes, I hear that.”
“Oh, you detected that, did you?”
“Wise guy. Come here.” She wraps Adrian in a deep, hard hug, whispering a thank you in his ear. For his kindness, his intelligence, his sensitivity and his insight.
“And I feel like you have something you want to talk to me about, sweetie,” she pulls Alex in for a soft, tender kiss that makes Adrian awwww and Alex swoon.
“Yeah,” she whispers, breathless, her fear evaporating, because Adrian’s right.
Maggie loves her so damn much. All of her.
So maybe asking her about their ceremony will only bring them closer.
Maybe asking her will be another beautiful, beautiful first.