589. Chapter 589

She doesn’t want to bring it up.

Her father.

Because Maggie won’t have her father there.

Hell, Maggie won’t have any of her family there.

But she wants a big wedding. A big deal. With all the traditions, with all the pomp and circumstance and all the… everything.

Maggie Sawyer wants everything with Alex.

But right now, Alex doesn’t… she doesn’t feel like she can give her everything.

Because her father, because she’s being a huge baby, because Maggie is so much stronger than she is and she doesn’t want to open Maggie’s wounds by nursing her own stupid ones, but also because…

Also, because Kara.

Because Kara won’t be there.

At the wedding, sure.

She’ll be there.

She’ll show up, and she’ll smile, and she’ll perform her part just right.

But afterwards, she’ll disappear. Again.

And beforehand? She won’t be there.

Not for any of the tastings or dress fittings or… or anything.

And it’s Alex’s fault.

It’s always Alex’s fault.

So she doesn’t tell her.

She doesn’t tell her, and she puts on a brave face, but Maggie sees through it, because Maggie knows… well, Maggie knows her.

“Talk to me, Alex,” she says, and Alex knows Maggie, too.

She knows Maggie is panicking.

Not the way Alex is panicking; because Alex isn’t panicking about anything that has to do with Maggie, not really.

But Maggie’s eyes, Maggie’s voice?

She’s putting on a brave face of her own.

Because she had gone home to her own apartment that night, because Alex should let her know when she figures out what she wants, because Maggie thinks… Maggie thinks that Alex doesn’t want her.

And she couldn’t be more wrong.

So she tells her.

She tells her over the comm, but only a little bit.

Only some of it.

She tells her more – she tells her everything – later that night.

“Talk to me, Alex,” she says, and it’s still a plea, and it’s still panicked.

Because she knows Alex, and she knows what they’d talked about over the comm wasn’t the whole story.

“I want to marry you, Maggie,” she assures her again. “I love you. Forever. I just…”

She plays with Maggie’s hair as she tries to find the right words.

“I feel selfish. For wanting my father there. For wanting my sister there, before. I mean, I know she’ll come to the wedding, but I… I wasn’t the kind of kid that fantasized about what my wedding would be like, you know? It just… it didn’t happen, in my head. But when I met you, I…”

She pauses and blushes and she watches the relief start sweeping over Maggie’s face. The knot in her stomach loosens.

“I did. I started… fantasizing. About a wedding, about… marrying you, and… and what it would be like. And, I don’t know, maybe… maybe it could be okay. Without my father. But without Kara? Helping me with… god, with everything? Before? Celebrating with me, every day, about the stupid, little choices that go into planning this thing? She barely looks at me anymore, so how… whenever I’ve fantasized about a wedding, it’s never been without Kara, it’s never… but then I feel…”

Maggie strokes her knuckles and tilts her head. “Selfish,” she supplies softly, and wipes Alex’s tears as she holds back her own. “Why?”

“Because!” Alex bursts, and her voice cracks along with Maggie’s heart. “Because who am I to whine about all this, when your family… I’m just complaining, I’m… I shouldn’t be making this about me, because my family loves me, they accept me, but yours…”

“Alex, hey, babe, stop, stop. Listen to me, okay?”

She takes Alex’s face in her hands and it’s her voice that’s cracking, now, Alex’s heart that’s cracking, now.

“You are not responsible for what my family’s like. Okay? You’re allowed to have your own feelings about your family, and I’m here to support you, okay? With whatever those feelings are. Just like you support me, okay? You are not selfish. Okay? You’re not selfish for having feelings. And Alex, I… I know I said it before, but I dunno, we were at work, and a bomb was about to go off, so maybe you didn’t really register it… I know you know that family is deeper than blood. You have Kara, so I know you know that. And Alex, chosen family… I have that, now. With you. And Kara, and James, and Winn, and J’onn. They’ll be there. Adrian will be there. I don’t need…”

Her eyes flash and Alex kisses her nose. They press their foreheads together for a long moment. They breathe together.

Maggie continues.

“I do have my family, Alex. The family I’ve chosen. And… listen, babe, you know how hardcore I supported you when your dad was here – “

“Ride or die,” Alex smiles wetly, and they kiss soft and sweet and still.

“Ride or die,” Maggie repeats. “But… and tell me if this isn’t okay to say, Danvers, but I don’t… I don’t think Jeremiah is the only dad you’ve got.”

Alex’s brow furrows for a brief moment, before images of J’onn telling her she’s special, showing her that she’s special; of bringing him chocolate when he was imprisoned; of him saving her life, over, and over, and over, and over again; of him risking his life, his freedom, his everything, for her, to protect her, to keep her safe; of him telling her that his money is on her girl; of him laughing beside her at the bar; of his pride in her; of his unconditional, unyielding love for her… of her unconditional, unyielding love for him.

She sniffles and she smiles and she nods.

“You’re right. You’re… you’re right. Thank you, Maggie. Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for, Danvers.”

“Forever?” Alex asked, her eyes beginning to shine again.

“Forever,” Maggie confirms, before sealing the promise with another kiss.