677. Chapter 677

She had never said it to be cruel.

She’d never said it in anger.

Sometimes, in frustration.

But always, because she just wanted Alex to be… extraordinary.

“Oh, Alex, you know that crying has never gotten a project finished,” she would tell her when she was up until all hours, stressed because her group mates hadn’t come through (again) on their project in high school.

“Alexandra, there’s no use crying over there while Kara needs your help here,” she would tell her when she and Kara had gotten into a fight and Eliza determined that Alex was the one who needed to apologize.

“Oh, sweetie, you know crying won’t help matters any; you just have to go ahead and put on your big girl boots and fix it,” she would tell her when she was frustrated with a problem in the lab, with a problem with a boy, with a problem with… everything.

Crying wouldn’t get work done.

And it certainly wouldn’t bring her father back.

So the first time Alex cries in front of Maggie, all she does is try to stop.

All she does is apologize.

She holds her breath to stop her chest from convulsing with tears, and she wipes at her face, and she gives herself the hiccups with the effort to stem the tiny rivers flowing from her eyes, and she apologizes over, and over, and over, and over.

Maggie doesn’t ask her why.

Not then.

Then, she just holds her and rocks her and kisses her tears and calls her sweetie and tells her she has nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all.

Maggie doesn’t ask why Alex keeps apologizing – she thinks she has a pretty good idea, anyway – because Alex asks her first.

“Why?” is all Alex can choke out once her tears have shuddered to a halt.

“Why what, beautiful?” Maggie kisses her nose and wipes her tears.

Alex scoffs. “I look disgusting,” she objects, and Maggie stiffens.

“No, you don’t,” she tells her, and her voice is firmer than it usually is. And for some reason, that firmness makes Alex feel more loved than even her gentle caresses do.

“Why?” Alex asks again, and it’s a different question, but it’s the same question.

“Because you deserve to let your feelings out, Danvers. You deserve…” Maggie sighs, and shifts so she can kiss Alex’s eyelids. “Alex, you’re allowed to have feelings, and you’re allowed to have them recognized.”

Alex’s shoulders sag.

“But it doesn’t help anything. It’s just a waste of time.”

Maggie tilts her head and kisses Alex’s mouth gently. “It’s never a waste of time to let yourself be human, Danvers. It’s never a waste of time to let me love you.”

Alex blinks, and Maggie’s eyes widen as she realizes what she said.

And then her lips are lost in Alex’s, and her kiss tastes like salt and like old scars starting, slowly, slowly, to heal over.