717. Chapter 717

She likes kissing her. Hell, she loves it.

But she only likes it because it’s Maggie. Because she’s completely, utterly, smittenly in love.

Sex, though?

Not something she’s trying to have.

Because she’s tried in the past, and even in the beginning of her relationship with Maggie.

“You’re not feeling it, are you, Danvers?” Maggie had asked with a gentle smile, and Alex had promptly had a panic attack, because she wasn’t doing it right, she was being a terrible girlfriend, surely Maggie would be insulted and hurt and leave because…

“You wanna just cuddle instead, sweetie?” Maggie had asked, then, and all of Alex’s self-protective instincts screamed that Maggie was mad at her, but the smile on her lips was also reaching her eyes, and, somehow, Alex… trusted.

And Maggie had proven that trust to be a good decision, for years and years and years.

Years that weren’t filled with the sex Alex had assumed was a prerequisite for having a girlfriend, for having a wife. For having a full, happy life.

But no, Maggie had assured her, over and over and over again; “I love being intimate with you, Danvers. And sex is only one kind of intimacy. I don’t need that one particular kind, babe; I just need you.”

Which makes Alex’s heart sing, every single time.

But sometimes, Alex needs… well, not sex. Not exactly.

She just needs to get off.

And masturbating sounds like the easiest solution, and her friends talk about it like it is, but god, for Alex, it’s not.

Because, for Alex, it’s sticky and it’s frustrating and even under the best of conditions, it ruins her underwear and leaves her feeling… meh.

“You know, you don’t have to have penetration to get off, babe,” Maggie had whispered to her, kissing her bare shoulder tenderly, years ago. And Rao, how that revelation had helped.

“You can touch yourself on top of your underwear so it’s not so sticky,” Maggie had kissed her temple years ago, and fuck, it had helped.

“You might get better pressure if you lay on your stomach, love,” Maggie had responded to her frustrated growl, and lord, that had been a good night.

But it still isn’t the easiest thing – masturbating – because she still can never seem to find something good to think of, something to match the fire that sometimes burns between her legs.

“Help me out?” she asks Maggie in irritable frustration one night, Maggie glances at her over the tops of her glasses from where she’s been sitting up in bed, reading, while Alex tried and failed to get herself off, a supportive hand vaguely on her shoulder.

Maggie smirks and bites her lip, immediately closing her book. “Yeah?” she asks, and it’s not like the eager, selfish advances men used to make when she’d had an itch to scratch during her party days.

It’s eager, yes, but it’s affectionate and honored and proud of Alex for asking, humbled to be able to help.

“Yes,” Alex still blushes, shifting her cheek on the pillow so she can make eye contact with her wife even as Maggie tosses the book to the side and scoots down to lay next to her.

Maggie doesn’t touch her beyond bringing her hand down to the small of Alex’s back – a warm, physical connection between them, more for intimacy’s sake than sexuality’s – and it makes Alex’s heart swell.

“What kind of help do you want, beautiful?” Maggie wants to know, her glasses still on.

“Talk to me, maybe?” Alex asks, and Maggie nods, biting her lip and kissing Alex’s temple.

“About how gorgeous you are?” Maggie asks, her voice low and sultry, as Alex’s fingers start rubbing circles onto her clit. She nods wordlessly, and Maggie’s eyes flash.

“And how smart you are? Because god, Danvers, you are the most brilliant woman I’ve ever known.” Alex squeaks before biting her lip to quiet herself, and Maggie chuckles affectionately. “And how you’re a soldier and a doctor? A woman who can work a flash grenade and heal its effect? Like, damn, Danvers,” she grins, and Alex’s hips start grinding down into her own hands at the praise.

Maggie’s eyes sweep down her body, and where Alex used to feel self-conscious about that – and certainly would if it were anyone else – the expression on Maggie’s face alone serves as yet another form of praise, and Alex feels an orgasm building rapidly.

“Or,” Maggie licks her lips, kissing Alex’s temple again. “Should I tell you about how wildly I’m in love with you? How you’re strong and steady and how proud I am that you’re my wife?”

It’s the love in Maggie’s voice that throws her over the edge, and she rides out her own waves as Maggie praises her more, more, more.

“Good girl, Alex. You did such a good job, babe,” she whispers, kissing her face over and over and over.

“I love you,” Alex pants as she comes down from the release she’d needed, and Maggie smiles broadly.

“Well, lucky for you, I love you too, Alex,” she teases, and it’s a tickle war and pillow fight that brings their night to a close.