721. Chapter 721

She’s never thought of herself as a particularly jealous person.

Sad, maybe sometimes; insecure, certainly, in ways that she works incredibly hard to hide.

But jealousy? She associates it with possessiveness, with hints of misogyny that she grew up hating, that she never wanted to reproduce in her own relationships.

And yet, there’s no other word to describe the surge of anger that floods her veins when she watches Alex lean into Supergirl and whisper something with an ease that she just doesn’t show with other people.

It’s jealousy, definitely, and even a flash of anger, that sweeps through Maggie’s stomach when Alex throws her own fragile human body in front of Supergirl’s practically invincible one, during fights with Cadmus.

Not that she would want Alex to put herself at risk for her; of course not. But that feeling of being cared for, of being… protected, by Alex, when she’d first come after her, first rescued her… she can’t help but resenting the fact that maybe she’s not special after all.

If Alex would sacrifice the safety of her body even for an invincible – not to mention blonde – woman who doesn’t need protection, then maybe it means that Maggie isn’t so special after all. That Alex just… protects people. In general. That she doesn’t care about Maggie in any special kind of way.

And if she’s honest with herself, she lov… likes… that about Alex. It’s one of her favorite things about the agent.

So she hates the swooping jealousy that infects her bloodstream when Alex protects Supergirl, when she nearly loses her mind with worry over the superhero.

The feeling is even worse when Supergirl demonstrates that same protectiveness over Alex.

Because Supergirl’s obviously interested. And who wouldn’t be?

And if Supergirl is interested, how could Maggie possibly compete?

Not that Alex is a thing to be competed over. Maggie chastises herself with even more shots of scotch as she tries to get images of the two of them together out of her mind, as she tries to leech her bloodstream of the toxicity of being angry instead of happy that Alex seems to have someone who loves her, that she can be herself around.

“Something heavy on your mind, Detective?”

Alex’s voice makes her jump slightly, and she covers her surprise by downing yet another shot.

When she drags her eyes up to meet Alex’s, it’s to find bemusement and genuine, heartfelt concern.

It threatens to break her.

“Nope. Nothing at all, Danvers,” she shrugs, proud of herself for not slurring as Alex takes a seat across from her.

A blonde woman who instinctively makes Maggie’s blood rush with more jealousy – for some reason she can’t quite identify, though it feels like it’s on the tip of her tongue – sits next to Alex, a similar look of concern on her face.

“Is it okay if I sit, too, Maggie? If you’d rather be alone together – “

“No, Kara, it’s fine,” she forces out of her lips, extending her hand to cover Alex’s sister’s. “Just a rough day in the field. I’m sure your sister told you.”

Kara adjusts her glasses and nods with eyes that are just this side of too wide.

“She mentioned, yeah. I heard Supergirl had to help you guys out of a tight spot.”

She and Alex exchange a subtle but significant glance that Maggie notices, but can’t quite pin down, the buzz of alcohol in her head louder than logic.

“Yep,” Maggie grimaces, gesturing for another round of shots.

“But everyone’s okay,” Alex furrows her brow slightly, the concern heightening in her eyes as she stares across the table at Maggie.

“Yeah, only thanks to your girlfriend,” Maggie blurts before being able to check the unexpected bitterness that pours from her lips.

“My… it… what?” Alex sputters, something that Maggie normally finds irresistibly adorable, but that right now just makes her heart sore.

“It’s okay, Danvers,” she leans forward like she’s offering to keep a secret. “I’ve been with aliens, too. It’s okay, won’t get any judgment from me.” A dark look crosses over her face. “That’d be ironic. Seriously, who could blame you? She’s gorgeous and strong and powerful and she’s obviously wild about you, and who could blame her, I mean, she’s really the lucky one here if you think about it. Not that I think about it, but really Danvers, she’s – “

“She’s my sister,” Alex is leaning forward, too, whispering, too, but her voice is completely sober, her eyes completely steady, if not shining with tears.

Maggie blinks several times, her brow screwed up in concentration.

“I’m talking about Supergirl, not Kara,” she tries to explain, even though she has the vague feeling that different pieces of some sort of puzzle she didn’t know she was putting together are about to sync up.

“Maggie,” Kara leans forward now, too, and this time, when Maggie drags her gaze up to meet Kara’s, the bottom drops out of her stomach.

“Oh my god, I’m such an asshole,” Maggie blurts suddenly, letting her head drop forward onto the table, but not before Alex’s lightening-fast reflexes protect her from bruising her forehead.

“No, you’re not, Maggie, I – “

“No, I… first of all, I’m a terrible detective – “

“You’re not – “

“And second, god, even if… oh, damn, everything makes sense now. Like, everything. But even… oh, Alex. Alex,” she whispers, tears in her own eyes now as a sudden understanding replaces the jealousy in her veins. “You’re amazing, do you know that? Absolutely amazing.”

Because now, Alex being convinced that she’s never good enough makes even more poignant sense than it did a few minutes ago.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, not sure if she’s apologizing for the possessiveness, for not realizing, for Alex’s pain. For all of the above.

But Alex only takes both of her hands into her own as Kara quietly slips up and out of her stool.

“I’ll let you two talk,” she smiles softly, kissing Alex’s cheek before she leaves.

And this time, it fills Maggie not with jealousy, but with the sense that she and Alex – secrets out – can slip into something much deeper.

And she can’t help but smile.