801. Chapter 801

The moment they heard the vortex opening up in their living room, Alex grabbed a pillow and threw it. Hard.

“Wow, okay, I can see when I’m not wanted,” Barry said, clutching the pillow to his chest as he shook off the queasiness of a dimensional jump.

“Ha ha ha.”

“Seriously though, should I call Cisco and have him take me back? Or, should he send Iris instead of me? I don’t have to stay, Alex.”

“You’re the same as my sister, you know that? Alien and metahuman, sure, but also 100% puppy.”

Barry grinned. “You want some sushi? Be right back.”

Alex instinctively held down the book they’d been reading, and their phone, and their throw blanket - pretty much anything and everything in arm’s reach that Barry’s departure would jostle.

He was back before they were finished securing everything.

“Okay, sushi! And I brought a friend!”

Winn’s hair was on end and his eyes were still wide. “So fast. Alex, he is so. Fast.”

“Missed you too, bud.”

Barry opened his arms wide, bags full of sushi dangling off his arms, and Winn stepped into them eagerly. Yeah, Barry was definitely, somehow, a wholesome kid. Once Alex had gotten over their desire to throttle him for taking their sister away without bringing Alex along to protect her, they’d come to like him quite a bit.

Plus, he always helped Alex help Winn when his dad was saying more messed up stuff. “Just because you’re a man too doesn’t make you like him,” Barry would tell Winn, over and over, the three of them curled up in Alex’s king-size bed. “You being trans doesn’t make you like your dad. It makes you like you.”

It helped, too, that Joe was so taken with Winn. “Like a white boy Cisco,” he’d laughed the first time Winn had teamed up with Team Flash. Having father figures that loved him well in multiple universes was helpful for Winn.

But Alex didn’t know what would be helpful for them tonight. Maybe nothing. Or maybe just… people.

Barry seemed to know - he always seemed to know, which was - to say the very least - annoying.

“Maggie and James are on their way with potstickers, and Kara’s flying Lena to Chicago right now for some deep dish.”

There was a rap on the window, followed by some loud, excited shouts.

“I’ve got some food from a planet named Chicago, does that count? Monica says it’s almost worthy of its earth name.”

Alex laughed as Carol Danvers nudged the window open with their foot, balancing a picnic basket of food in one arm and a whole human in the other.

“Hi Alex,” Adrian said, his eyes wide and sparkling. “Captain Marvel told me you guys have the same last name,” he said as he hugged Winn and immediately dove into Barry’s takeout bags. “I feel like you’ve gotta be long lost sibs, right?”

“I mean, anything’s possible right? Seventeen universes represented in this apartment tonight.”

“I count three, Allen, not quite seventeen,” Carol smirked. Barry pretended to glare. “But you did send that soft distress call. So, spill.”

Carol tilted their head at Barry. “You don’t have to pretend to be so chipper all the time you know, kid.”

Barry looked like he was going to answer back, but instead, he melted onto the couch next to Alex. They tossed a pillow at him again, but this time, for him to hold into his chest as he leaned into them.

Adrian curled up onto Alex’s other side, and Carol settled onto the floor with Winn. They both set to distributing food quietly to the others.

“I know I don’t. But I kind of do! If I don’t pretend to be chipper, I’ll feel it all. And that’s not… that’s not safe for anybody.”

“Cheers,” Alex muttered. But Carol and Adrian shook their heads.

“You’ve gotta feel it to use it, Barry. So? What are you feeling?”

“Pissed off.” Alex smiled. They didn’t hear Barry admitting to feeling upset too often - not outside those late-night double dates with him and Iris and them and Maggie, when it was suddenly 2am and they could all admit to anything and everything.

“You know, when I came out, it was like… I was this unstoppable being, you know? And for once, it had nothing to do with Iris, or Joe, or my dad, anyone else. Just, it was me. It was for me. Waking up from my top surgery, all those cliches of like, ‘oh, here I am,’ all of that was so, so true for me, it was so perfect. And I think I got used to it, to feeling that good. But I’m not unstoppable, right? I try to be. But I’m not. And sometimes it feels… worse. After it felt that good.”

“The post-gender euphoria dysphoria,” Adrian said with his mouth full of ginger.

“Yeah, that.”

Alex sighed and let their head drop onto Barry’s shoulder. Winn did the same on Carol, who passed Adrian all the ginger he could want.

“That’s like healing, though, right?” Winn said. “Like, when you’ve got a massive scab that’s starting to heal, it itches a lot. And that’s how you know it’s getting better. Right, Danvers, science?”

“Which Danvers?”

“I’m not the science Danvers, that’s you, Alex.”

“Yeah. It pains me, obviously, but Winn’s right.”

“Mark the time and places, lads and ladsies.”

“Oh my God.”

“No, seriously though. You have a higher standard for yourself now, Barry. For what you deserve and for how much love and attention you should give yourself. When stuff gets in the way of that now, it’s going to be a bigger contrast. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.”

Alex rubbed at the back of Barry’s head, just once. He smiled. So did they.

“You’re doing it right, Barry. It’s not all going to be linear. And least, that’s what my therapist says.”

“Mine too.”

“Same.”

“Same.”

“Yeah, and mine’s from a different galaxy, and they still say it, so you know, we’re all got to be on to something.”

“Carol, how is your therapist from -”

“It’s a long story.”

“We’ve all got time.”

“And each other.”

“Awwwww, Alex!”

“Quote me on that and none of you will ever be allowed in this apartment again.”

Maggie’s key scraped the front door at the same moment as Kara and Lena flew in through the window. And, as if on cue, Cisco started up the portal again for Iris, Monica, and Maria to come through. With, of course, even more food.

None of their friends would quote them on it, but they didn’t have to (and really, Alex secretly wouldn’t have minded all that much if they had). Having each other was the most obvious thing about this little team, spanning so many universes in a single living room - and it was exactly why they all kept coming back home.