7. To Crawl From Hell With Someone

It was perfectly normal. Happened all the time and it didn’t always mean something. Hell, if Eddie were honest, it happened more days than it didn’t. But he was a relatively healthy guy in his early twenties, it was to be expected. Nine times out of ten, it wasn’t a problem. Unfortunately, however, this morning would be the one out of ten times it was very much a problem.

Morning wood while sharing a bed with a guy friend might not even be that big of a deal in normal circumstances. It was, as Eddie was feverishly repeating to himself in his head, a normal function of his body. But these were not normal circumstances.

For one, Eddie was in absurdly tiny shorts, that would do absolutely fucking nothing to hide his current predicament. Though, visibility was not the issue here. When Eddie awoke that morning he and Steve were in practically the same position as when they fell asleep, except Eddie’s leg was between Steve’s thighs. Causing far too much friction as their fronts were wedged completely together. The only thing saving Eddie from disintegrating from embarrassment was the fact that Steve was still asleep, breathing deeply into the crook of his neck.

This was wildly overshadowed by the fact that Steve was also hard, Eddie able to feel it plainly through the man’s boxers.

Eddie remained frozen in place, ignoring his painful arousal and excitement. Instead focusing on the utter fear coursing through him, hoping maybe he’d… scare it away, or something. His hands remained glued to the same spots as when he’d woken up and realized the scenario he was in; one loosely webbed into the hair at the back of Steve’s head, and the other arm slung around his side and pressing him to his own chest. In the drowsy moments of waking he had splayed his hand softly over the bare skin and muscle of Steve’s back, before stilling in panic as reality flooded his senses.

So here he was, trying to work up the courage to carefully move out of Steve’s hold– which was heavy and tight around his own torso– so he could excuse himself to the bathroom and try to piss away the problem. But frankly, it was taking every brain cell alive to not focus on how Steve felt against him.

And if that weren’t bad enough, Steve had to huff emphatically into his neck, grinding himself down on Eddie’s leg needily. Eddie bit his lip to keep quiet, pleasure shooting through him. He was hit with the urgency to get the fuck out of Steve’s bed before this got worse, but absolutely loathed the notion.

Regardless, as soon as he composed himself from the action (or as Eddie saw it, sabotage from some sort of divine force,) he slowly unwrapped his arms from Steve. He was careful not to wake Steve as he unraveled himself out of the bed, Steve’s face only scrunching in the slightest as he grabbed his clothes, quietly stepping into the hall. Some of the kids could be heard talking downstairs, the guest bedroom door now open, but Eddie quickly walked into the bathroom next door. He locked the door behind him and let out a sigh of both frustration and relief, head thumping lightly against the door. Jesus fucking Christ.

After changing and successfully ‘pissing it away,’ as Eddie called it, he reentered Steve’s room just as quietly as when he left. He was still on the bed, lying mostly stomach down with something reminiscent of a pout on his face.

Just about the last thing he wanted to do right now was wake Steve up, but the clock on his bedside table showed it would be noon soon, and they should probably get the kids home. He reached over and gently shook Steve’s shoulder. “Harrington,” when Steve only pulled a disgruntled face with a grumble of protest, Eddie shook harder and raised his voice.

“Harrington!” Steve’s eyes pried open, but just barely as he squinted up at Eddie. “There are children in your house that need to be driven home, and I can’t do it alone.”

As Steve began to rise, the confusion of sleep cleared and a look of panicked realization was replaced. He stopped rising midway, pulling the covers up a bit more. Eddie steeled his face into one of utter aloofness.

“‘Kay,” Steve rasped, rubbing his eyes with the hand not propping him up. “Be down in a sec.” His voice was throaty from sleep, hair sticking up in all directions. Eddie had a strong urge to stay and stare, but instead he left with a nod.

All the kids were up as Eddie got downstairs. “Thank god,” Dustin said, exasperated. “We’re all starving.”

“Does it look like this is my house?” Eddie retorted, raising his eyebrows. “You can eat when you’re home. Get dressed ‘cause Harrington and I are driving you back.”

“Knew I should’ve just made us eggs,” Max muttered as she and El, already dressed, headed back up to the guest bedroom, likely to get their bags.

Ten minutes later and miraculously everyone was ready to head out, Steve running a frantic hand through his hair as he came down the stairs. “Alright. Henderson, Wheeler, Sinclair. You’re with me.” Steve stated as he tugged on his sneakers. He opened the door and waved all the kids out first. “Munson,” he pressed two fingers lightly to Eddie’s chest, stopping him from walking through the doorway. “I owe you for roping you into carpool. Meet me at the diner down the street from Family Video after you drop off the youths and I’ll buy you lunch.”

“Youths?” Eddie smirked, Steve just giving him an expectant look. “Harrington you don’t gotta–” Eddie started, but Steve cut him off.

“I know, but I’m gonna,” he said plainly. “Unless you got something better to do…?”

Eddie’s lips downturned in consideration. “Guess I don’t. But I’m changing when I drop off Max.”

“Can you two hurry up?” Dustin called, Eddie and Steve turning to see all the kids staring at them as they waited outside their respective cars, doors locked.

“Or feed us,” Mike suggested flatly.

“Ya know you guys could be walkin’,” Steve called over before returning his attention to Eddie. “Meet you in thirty, Munson.” Steve gave him a clap on the shoulder before heading to his car. Eddie watched after him curiously for a moment before starting for his own.

+++

“So…” Max started. It was just her and Eddie now, on their way to the trailer park. Sabbath played quietly over the sound system. “I have a question.”

“And I’m sure you’re gonna ask it,” Eddie barely got out the sentence before she was talking again.

“Are you and Steve like… a thing?” This earned an immediate scoff from Eddie, though part of him tightened at the question.

“Why would you think that?”

She shrugged from the passenger seat. “You guys did get pretty close when we were killing Vecna.”

“We all got close killing Vecna,” Eddie stated back.

“Yeah, but it was different with you two,” Max contradicted, Eddie glancing over at her to try and get a read on her. A certain memory couldn’t help but spring to mind, but he moved on from it just as quickly as it popped into his head.

“You don’t think he got closer with Nancy?” He asked.

“But you stayed close,” it was like Max had predicted his questions, rattling off an answer almost as soon as he asked it.

“Harrington and I are just friends,” Eddie’s brows furrowed then as he looked back over at her. “Wait a minute, you know I’m gay?”

Max looked at him with a completely unimpressed expression. “We live right next to each other. I see you bring guys around and you crank up the same mixtape every time.” She glanced him up and down. “At least you used to. Haven’t in a while. That’s also why I’m asking.”

“Anyone ever told you that you’re irritatingly nosy?” Eddie raised his eyebrows at her briefly. “And it’s not easy pulling guys in Hawkins, alright?” He defended. Eddie obviously omitted that the meaningless hookups had started to grate away at him. Truthfully, after Vecna, they lost their spark.

“Whatever you say,” she sang with a sigh as they pulled into the trailer park. Eddie made a mental note to make a different mixtape. Eddie turned off the car, the two stepping out and Max crossing over to head for her trailer. “See ya.”

“Yeah, hey–” Eddie called after her. “Start minding your business, Mayfield!” She didn’t look over her shoulder until she’d unlocked her door, smirking arrogantly at him as she gave a finger-waggling wave. He sighed in defeat as she disappeared behind her door.

When he opened his own door, Wayne was on the couch watching tv, beer in hand. “Hey,” Eddie said as he shut the door behind him.

“Mornin’, kid,” Wayne said, sipping his beer. “Fun night at the Harrington boy’s house?” He delivered plainly, the slightest hint of a smirk on his face.

Eddie ignored his jestful implication. “Yeah. Basically babysitting, but it was alright.” Then, his face fell, guilt twisting deep. “Shit, I forgot to call you and say I was staying over.” Eddie’s face scrunched at his idiocy as he scratched his head. “Sorry. Did I keep you up all night?”

“Don’t worry about me, son,” Wayne scolded lightheartedly. “Figured you were just staying over.” A question was forming behind his eyes. “I saw you take the Mayfield girl… She was… involved… with what happened last year. Wasn’t she?” It wasn’t accusatory, every part of Wayne was earnest, but almost with a certainty.

Eddie took a moment. Wayne was only paying attention to him, the tv on low and barely audible. He didn’t feel there was any reason to lie. “Yeah,” Eddie said. “She was.”

Wayne nodded smally. “You were suddenly closer with her, when I had never seen you talk much before. So I figured,” he shrugged.

Eddie hesitated once more, but offered. “So was Steve. And the rest of the younger kids from my D&D group. More than that, actually,” he scoffed softly, a small smile of disbelief on his face as he thought about just how many people were involved in killing that thing. “It was a pretty big… mess.”

“If…” Wayne trailed off as he looked at Eddie intensely. He spoke quietly, “If anything ever started happening again, anything at all… I want you to tell me, alright, Eddie?” Eddie stared back at him, brain unable to decide on an answer. “Even if you think I’ll think you’re crazy… or that I’ll think differently of you. Just… let me help as much as I can, alright?”

A confusing mixture toiled inside of Eddie, between gratefulness and stark heartbreak. More than what Vecna did to his life, and more than the pain he had to endure– has to endure– nothing will make Eddie ache more than the colossal weight it shoved onto Wayne. And those kids. And Chrissy’s family…

With clenched jaw and watery eyes, throat too tight to speak, Eddie nodded curtly. Wayne returned this, before clearing his throat and turning his gaze off of Eddie. “I won’t keep ya. Sure you got plans.”

Eddie gave a harsh sniff before clearing his own throat. “Just, uh, getting lunch with Steve. I’ll be back soon.” Wayne gave another nod, Eddie disappearing into his room to change.

When he pulled into the diner he already saw Steve’s car in the lot, and made a point to hurry inside, not wanting to keep him waiting. Steve looked up as the bell jingled, wiggling his fingers in a goofy wave as he spotted Eddie from his booth. Eddie walked over and slid in on the opposite side of him.

“Sorry, got caught up with Wayne,” Eddie said as he opened the plastic covered menu and began to scan it.

“Shit, he wasn’t upset about you not coming home was he?”

“Wayne doesn’t really… get upset. Unless I’m being reckless,” Eddie grimaced guiltily as he recalled his uncle. “But he looked tired. Apparently assumed I was staying over. Not sure I entirely believe him.”

“Am I gonna have to start reminding you to call home like I do with the children?” Eddie glanced up to see Steve smirking at him over the rim of his coffee. Eddie gave him a flat look as a waitress came up then, asking if they were ready to order. He couldn’t help but notice how overtly cheery she was taking Steve’s order.

“Can’t take you anywhere, Harrington,” Eddie teased once she walked away.

“What can I say?” He said boredly. “Blessing and a curse… anyway, I’ve been wondering,” he leaned his elbows on the table. “What does Eddie Munson get up to when he’s not working or saving the world?” Steve smirked. “Or hanging around me.”

“Mmm…” He hummed in disagreement. “I see it more as you hanging around me,” he corrected, quietly thanking the waitress as she circled back around with the coffee he ordered. Steve raised his eyebrows in that way he did whenever Eddie skirted around answering a question.

Eddie thought about this as he began mixing his coffee to his liking. If he were honest, he didn’t really know what he did anymore. The things he valued before started to seem… obsolete, since Vecna. He still loved his old hobbies, he just supposed he missed the person he used to be when he did them before. He shrugged as he stirred his coffee, settling on a palatable answer. “Drugs. Music. D&D. Casual sex. Ya know, things that generally make people not wanna take me home to mom.”

“Casual sex?” Steve raised his eyebrows in playful intrigue.

Eddie scoffed. “Don’t sound so surprised, Harrington. Might not have your pretty face but I do alright for myself,” he pursed his lips in consideration. “Well, as alright as I can do in a small town, I suppose.”

“So…” Steve continued. “Does that mean you’re seeing someone?”

He laughed shortly at this. “Definitely not. Mostly closeted hookups in, well, a certain kind of bar. The only of its kind in Hawkins,” Eddie raised his cup, saying more to himself than Steve, “Guess the casual sex has been on hold recently.” He took a sip of his coffee.

“And there’s… no one you have your eye on? Ya know,” He gave a half shrug as he grabbed his own mug. “More seriously.”

Eddie studied his face, but the only thing he could glean was curiosity. “Why the sudden intrigue in my love life, Harrington?”

“I dunno,” Steve frowned with another shrug. “This is usually what Robin and I talk about. But ya know, girls.” Right, Eddie reminded himself. Girls.

“To answer your question: No. I guess not. Painfully single– and loving this little reminder, by the way,” Eddie swirled his finger in a circle, gesturing to the table between them. “Hey, maybe I should track down Chip Hudson. Apparently he was interested. Was he hot?”

Steve scoffed hardily. “Absolutely not,” he said enthusiastically. “You really don’t remember what he looked like?”

“Not really,” Eddie said easily. “C’mon, how bad could he be?”

“Consider yourself lucky for not remembering, Munson,” Steve stated sincerely, Eddie chuckling at his strong opinion. “I’m serious. Chip Hudson looks like a thumb.”

Eddie let out a genuine laugh at this, sighing slightly as it died down. “Eh… what do you know, anyway?” He dismissed, still smiling a bit as he drank his coffee.

The waitress returned with their food and the two of them were mostly focused on their plates for a few minutes. Until Steve decided he had another question. “Thought about my offer at all?” he waved his fork around a bit. “Smoking in peace?”

He smirked. “Who knew Steve Harrington was a stage five clinger,” he teased, Steve rolling his eyes humorously. “Soon, probably. Definitely getting tired of going into the woods to smoke.” He made an uncomfortable face, shimmying his shoulders as he said “Gives me the heebies.”

Steve snorted in amusement. “Maybe after this–” but whatever he was about to suggest was cut off by a blonde girl with a perm walking up, beaming at him.

“Steve Harrington?” She asked enthusiastically, as if she just stumbled upon an urban legend in the flesh. “It’s been so long!”

“Uh… yeah, Heidi. Hey, long time no see,” Steve wasn’t rude, but Eddie could tell he was uncomfortable. Eddie knew that discomfort well; it was the kind you get when a hookup that was just a hookup might have the idea that they’re more than that. He’d personally been both people in this situation, and it left him with a strong sense of second-hand embarrassment.

Not to mention annoyance. He wanted to know what Steve was going to say. But he tried to bite that down.

“Ooo,” she cooed, “Nice shirt. It looks good on you.” She lightly grabbed the fabric around his shoulder between her fingers, tugging in the slightest before releasing. Eddie agreed, but her saying it made irritation slither through him.

“Uh… thanks,” Steve said with a tight-lipped smile.

“So, my friend Heather– do you know Heather?” Steve nodded, though Eddie couldn’t tell if he was actually telling the truth. “She’s throwing a party this weekend. You should come,” she looked him up and down pointedly, a seductive smile on her lips. She hadn’t acknowledged Eddie at all since coming up, but now she glanced over at him briefly. The way she looked him up and down was in contempt. Eddie wiggled his fingers in a wave that one might say was snarky. She turned back to Steve. “You can bring a friend or two.”

“Uh, ya know I’ve been goin’ out a lot recently,” he said. “Think I’ll have to pass. Thanks for the invite, though.”

Her face fell in disappointment at this. “Oh, uh… yeah, no worries.” She quickly fixed her face back into a smile. “Nice seeing you again, Steve.” Steve gave a nod to this, and she was on her way.

Eddie raised his eyebrows at Steve, taking a long sip of his mug. Annoyance made way for teasing as the girl left, and Eddie was trying to distract himself in the latter feeling. Steve rolled his eyes before saying “Yeah, yeah. Can’t take me anywhere.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Eddie defended with a slow shake of his head as he set his mug back on the table, continuing to eat.

“Uhuh,” Steve said flatly. They finished eating not long after, mostly talking about Dustin or Eddie answering Steve’s questions about his band. To which he admitted that he and the band have been meeting less, since everything. Not that Eddie wanted to quit, quite far from that, but he found the music he was making recently to be too… personal. And it’s not like the guys understand most of the context.

All they know is that Eddie was briefly on the run for an apparent murder, and that was the only explanation they had for his sudden closed off behavior. Luckily, they believed him when he said he really didn’t do it. And didn’t ask for details. Which was also lucky, considering Eddie would have none to prove his innocence.

Steve doubled down on his insistence to pay, which Eddie allowed with little pushback this time. They were stopped beside Eddie’s van, Steve swinging his keys idly in hand and looking at the ground. “Ya know… you said the band wouldn’t get what your new songs are about, but,” he looked up, an uncertainty edging behind his eyes. Almost… self conscious. It was a rare sight to see in Steve, and for some reason every time he did it left Eddie feeling… special. “I would. At least more than them. You should play something for me sometime.”

Eddie smirked. “Suddenly have an interest in heavy metal?”

“Hardly,” Steve said truthfully. “But what do I know?” He gave a snort, quoting Eddie back to him with a lopsided smile. “Maybe I just need someone to show me the ropes.”

“Maybe I’ll have to do that, then,” Eddie leaned back against his van, finding himself unable to wipe a smile from his own face. “You can come to the trailer sometime. I’ll give you a private show.”

Steve’s smile stretched into a grin as he began to take a few slow, backwards steps to his car. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Munson,” he walked around to the driver’s side, looking over the bonnet at Eddie. “I’m gonna hold you to that.” And with that, he got into his car, Eddie sliding into his own with his chest tight and stomach threatening to float out of his throat.

He started his car with a sigh, and as he began his drive home the excitement he was feeling began to give way to something much more sour. Eddie was resenting himself for the jealousy that curled around him when the girls had shown obvious intrigue in Steve. He had no claim over the man, who, despite Eddie’s treacherous feelings, was just his friend. Steve hadn’t flirted back, miraculously, but Eddie needed to prepare himself for the event that he did.

Eddie still didn’t know what to make of their… objectively intimate exchange the night before, but he was dead set on operating as if it were nothing.

In the hypothetical scenario where Steve was not only into guys, but into Eddie specifically, wouldn’t he have told him the night of Vickie’s birthday party? The subject of Eddie’s sexuality got brought up, and it would’ve been the perfect time for Steve to at least say he wasn’t straight either.

Even though Eddie was trying to stay focused on this fact, his resilience was fading. He was finding himself thinking more and more about that day over a year ago. But it provided only more confusion.

He’d be hit with the heartaching hope, just to recall the stark rejection. Paired with the insanity of the situation that facilitated it… the whole thing was beginning to be too much for his head.

When he pulled into the trailer park, he did what he always did now when the world was too loud and there was no one to scream with; grabbed his weed and Walkman (a Christmas present from the kids) from his room and told Wayne he’d be back in twenty, before allowing himself to be swallowed by the tree line.

+++

A vicious, snarling whir consumed Eddie’s ears. Pain ripped into his calf as the demogorgon’s talons stuck into his flesh. An agonized scream tore from his throat as the creature dragged him sharply across the forest floor of the Upside Down.

Gaping, flowered maw peeled open above his face. Dripping ooze from seemingly thousands of jagged teeth sprayed across him as it let out a distorted scream of its own.

This was how Eddie was going to die.

He managed to stick it out right to the very end, Vecna freshly destroyed by Eleven, and he was going to die mere feet away from the gate. Oddly enough, only one thought could occupy his mind in that final moment: he hoped Wayne knew he didn’t do it.

Heat erupted in front of him as a stream of fire engulfed the demogorgon’s head, narrowly missing Eddie himself. He cried out in pained relief as the claws retracted from his leg, the creature scurrying off with another tortured screech.

“Eddie?!” Steve was over him in an instant with wide, panicked eyes. “You gotta get up right now.” Eddie didn’t have time to protest as Steve pulled him up with urgency. He cried out in pain as he put weight on the injured leg. Steve threw his arm around his shoulders, not giving him time to adjust before moving them forward at an excruciatingly fast pace. “Sorry Munson, we gotta move.”

Eddie really had been close to the finish line, the road entirely visible from where he had been downed. Steve managed to pull them through the gate where Fred Benson died, Eddie helping as much as he could to climb his way out of the small crater.

Steve pulled Eddie away from the gate, dragging him across the empty road. They’d gotten separated from the rest of the group, but the general plan was for everyone to get to the nearest portal and go through it. They collapsed onto the road in exhaustion.

Eddie was still grunting from the searing pain in his leg, breath ragged from exertion. Steve was sitting behind him, arms wrapped around his shoulders and letting Eddie lean on him for support. “Son of a bitch,” Eddie hissed out between harrowed breaths.

“You’re okay,” Steve panted out assuringly, clutching Eddie to his chest. His head drooped forward with an exhale, temple brushing against Eddie’s as the latter continued to stare at the gate in shock. His whole body was racked with tremors, adrenaline still pumping through him.

“Holy fucking shit,” Eddie gasped out, unable to form any other actual thoughts. His chest was still heaving as he turned his head to look at Steve, their faces close and Eddie’s eyes wide. “You saved my fucking life.”

Steve was so close to him that if either turned their head more, their noses would hit. Large hazel eyes were staring so deep into his own, Eddie could feel the frazzled charge behind them shoot straight through him.

If it wasn’t Steve’s eyes practically picking apart his soul that had Eddie even more convinced he was dreaming the events of the last week or so, it was his arms wrapped around Eddie’s torso. Eddie had clutched Steve’s shoulder behind him awkwardly in their scramble, and it still hung there as his other clung onto one of Steve’s arms in front of him.

“Don’t ever fucking do that again,” it was a cross between a plea and a demand, Steve’s arms tightening in the slightest around Eddie’s chest. He still spoke breathless and quiet, but it was with a necessity that shook Eddie to his core. “Scared the shit out of me.”

Eddie had no response. All he could do was stare in perplexity at Steve. Luckily, Steve was doing the functioning for both of them. “C’mon,” Steve puffed an exhale as he heaved them to their feet. Eddie bit back a groan as weight was momentarily put on his calf, Steve adjusting them so Eddie was draped over his shoulder once more. “We gotta get off the main road. You’re still wanted.”

“How could I forget,” Eddie breathed out, exasperated. Steve harbored most of the weight as he led them toward the treeline. “Looks like you saved me just for me to spend the rest of my life in a cell.”

“Don’t talk like that, Munson–”

“It’s the truth,” Eddie’s voice raised more than he intended. Steve looked at him with concern as they began to walk slowly, headed to where Steve parked his car, which would likely be hours away. Especially at the pace Eddie was moving. “Killing Vecna doesn’t prove my innocence. And there’s no fucking way I can explain what happened with…” Eddie sniffed harshly, looking at the fallen leaves of the forest. He found it harder and harder to say her name as time went on. Eddie thought that was backwards to what everyone told you about death. He felt somehow cheated. “Well, there’s just no fucking way,” he muttered in defeat.

“Listen. We’ll figure it out, alright?” Steve looked at him in earnest, mind visibly searching for a solution behind wild eyes. “We’ll get you a good lawyer, a-and we’ll all come up with a solid alibi for you.”

“A good lawyer?” Eddie scoffed bitterly. “With what money, Harrington? The only option I got is a court-appointed attorney.”

“Then– then I’ll pay for it myself,” Steve blustered momentarily, but this offer still left him far from assured. He knew how courts worked. And he knew how people saw him, even before all of this.

“And when your fancy lawyer fails and I still end up with a life sentence?” He didn’t expect Steve to keep supplying answers, knowing that there was likely no future for him that didn’t involve steel bars.

“Then… I’ll pay off the judge– or we’ll fucking change your identity and move you as far as we can– Munson,” Steve halted their walking, looking at Eddie with determined eyes. “We just destroyed a monster that was killing people by invading their minds. And, not to suck my own dick here, but it’s not the first time I’ve done it. We’ll figure it out,” he emphasized again.

Their faces were all too close again, especially for Steve to be looking at him so intensely. For a second, Eddie almost let himself believe it. Fall head first into the delusion he’d make it out of this and still be a free man. When someone was looking at you like that, how could you not? But Eddie knew what happened every time he got his hopes up.

“That’s all real sweet, Harrington,” Eddie said, too defeated to commit fully to the sarcasm. “But forgive me for not believing you ‘til I’m living it.” He tried, weak as he was, to start their walk again. Steve stopped him before he even started, placing his free hand on his chest.

“Munson,” Steve had an air of uncertainty and hesitation, something Eddie didn’t see much of when it wasn’t pertaining to creatures beyond their wildest imagination. He found it mildly hard to cut through the static in his brain with Steve’s hand still on his chest.

Steve sighed. He seemed to find it harder to maintain eye contact with Eddie now, only catching his eyes briefly here and there. “You mean… a lot to Henderson. And maybe a week ago it would’ve gone against every fiber of my being to say this, but I’m starting to think you’re not bad for the kid.”

“Great pep talk, Harrington,” Eddie said flatly.

“Will ya shut up?” Steve gave him an exasperated look, one Eddie recently realized he found very entertaining. “I’m getting to it. Point is, you’re in this shit with us now whether you like it or not. I didn’t risk my life to save your ass back there just for you to lie down and take it from small town courts.” Steve searched his eyes, as if to see if his words held impact.

Eddie’s frustrated pessimism softened into pained uncertainty. He couldn’t find it in him to believe Steve fully, but he didn’t want the man to think him ungrateful, or to feel guilt at his inability to help. Eddie was about to muster up as much of an air of reassurance as he could, when Steve’s face fell into one of, somehow, exasperated sheepishness.

“Alright, look. I’m about to say something that if you ever bring up to anyone, not only will I deny it ‘til the day I die, I’ll have to kick your ass,” he gave Eddie a severe stare. Eddie raised his eyebrows in curiosity, urging Steve to continue.

He dropped the hand from Eddie’s chest and ran it through his hair as he looked anywhere but Eddie, as if fighting some internal debate. He fixed Eddie with a level look, as he seemed to come to a decision of sorts.

“Over the past week or whatever, you’ve learned a lot of fucking insane shit about the world,” his brow creased in the slightest as he continued to look Eddie in the eye. “You also got… probably one of the most horrifying ways to learn about it. And I gotta be honest,” he scoffed softly, devoid of humor or malice and more accurately laced with compassion and awe. “I don’t know how you’re still sane enough to form a sentence.”

He paused for a moment, as if to regather his thoughts, though Eddie hadn’t the faintest idea what those consisted of. Steve couldn’t quite meet Eddie’s eye again. “I’ve seen you do fucking batshit things in order to protect those kids– to protect Robin and Nance… and me…” He met Eddie’s gaze once more, no trace of uncertainty or leftover nerves as Steve calmly but intently examined whatever it was he saw. “You’re important, Munson. To all of us.”

It’s not that Eddie felt like he didn’t matter. Wayne loved him, and in his darkest times made him feel like he was still worth something– even if he couldn’t see the shape of it himself. But he never realized how his default was feeling unimportant, until here Steve Harrington was making a point to contradict his subconscious existence. And god, how could he not believe those eyes when they were fixed him with such absolute sincerity.

The silence was far from noticeable as Eddie felt terrifyingly translucent under this consuming stare. And then this stare was directed elsewhere. Steve’s eyes dragged languidly down to Eddie’s lips. His heart picked up in his chest, as if he were suddenly powered by the wings of a hummingbird. The man’s eyes were swallowing down every inch of Eddie’s mouth, irises drawing closer together in the way they do when someone focuses on something close. Whatever caught Steve’s attention was keeping it and all Eddie could do was watch in abject… anticipation.

Steve’s eyes flicked back up to Eddie’s. Eddie wasn’t entirely sure if he was breathing. A hundred percent of his attention was dedicated to Steve and only Steve. He was so sure in that moment that Steve was going to kiss him, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at the other man’s lips as well. When his eyes dragged back up to Steve’s, it was almost as if he were asking Steve a silent, but hopeful question: “What’s happening?”

The hope that had been teeming in Eddie’s chest was crushed with a simple clearing of Steve’s throat. Steve looked away, starting their slow pace again. “We should get going,” he said, once again unable to look at Eddie as he carried them through the woods. “It’s gonna be dark soon.”

Embarrassment and shame flooded Eddie, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the side of Steve’s face as they walked. His brow was furrowed as he wondered what he did wrong, but realized it was more accurate that he misread the situation. Finally, looking at Steve became too much. He thought he’d rather crawl right back into the Upside Down and never come back out, but he trudged on in silence, angry with himself for not being able to walk on his own. Angry for thinking such an idiotic thing would happen. Steve was straight, for fuck’s sake. And even if he wasn’t, Eddie should know by now that he doesn’t get the fairytale ending. He never would.