13. Hell or High Water

Eddie left early for once in his life to pick up Steve. Embarrassingly early, actually. He parked down the street and waited for half an hour before actually pulling into Steve’s driveway. All attempts to get his mind to focus on anything other than various worst case scenarios had been completely thwarted. Whether it be guitar, D&D planning, or even smoking, he was always dragged back.

But here he was at Steve’s door, nonetheless. He was a live wire as he knocked, tension tearing his stomach apart with every dragging second. When Steve opened the door, he tried to steel himself, feeling like his erratic nature was overwhelmingly apparent.

“Hey,” Steve said, thinly veiled concern flashing in his eyes as he took in Eddie. Thankfully, he didn’t choose to comment then. “Everything’s here, we just gotta load the van,” he gestured to the floor, where the same supplies as last time were stacked neatly. Even in his distress, Eddie found Steve’s surprisingly well-put together side endearing. He felt a little more glued to the ground.

Steve opened the door wider so they could start bringing things to Eddie’s van, not really saying much while doing so. Eddie supposed since Steve made a habit of camping out in his car, it wasn’t all that weird to his parents that he was doing so. Though, he wondered if the appearance of a sudden camping buddy would garner attention.

There seemed to be more than last time, for one Steve had a small cooler now, and somehow even more blankets. Admittedly, they were pretty stiff the next morning last time, so the extra padding was probably a good call.

“Is this your new friend?” They were nearly done gathering the supplies when a woman’s voice cut in. Dread seeped into every fiber of Eddie’s being as he stood up to see an older woman, probably mid forties, with long brown hair. More notably, she had Steve’s eyes. But her’s were cold in a way he seldom saw in Steve, only when it was directed toward Carver.

“Uh, yeah, mom,” Steve said, confirming what Eddie hoped would somehow be false. “This is Eddie.”

“Yes, so it is,” her smile was tight-lipped and disparaging. It might as well have been a punch to the gut.

Miraculously, Eddie worked his mouth into the best smile he could manage. He switched the stereo into his other hand, sticking his free one out to shake. “Mrs. Harrington, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

She glanced at his hand before raking her eyes back up to his, narrowing slightly. For a moment he thought she was going to refuse, but eventually she shook it. Mrs. Harrington didn’t say a word to Eddie, turning to fix Steve with a look. “Come and talk to us in the kitchen before you leave.” With that, she disappeared back into the house.

Steve looked at Eddie with remorseful eyes, stepping close as he spoke softly, “I’m sorry. Just ignore her, alright?”

Eddie cleared his throat with a nod, his skin crawling with… embarrassment. “Don’t worry, it’s… it’s cool,” he shook it off. That didn’t stop Steve from looking at him like a wounded animal, which only twisted shame deeper inside Eddie. “Here, give me the cooler. You can go talk to them.” He gestured for Steve to pass the cooler to his free hand, which he did hesitantly.

He didn’t waste time dipping out of the house and back to the van, securing the stereo and cooler on the floor between the front and back seats. Eddie knew he should just wait by the van. He could try and lie, telling himself he thought there was more to bring back to the car. But he knew that wasn’t true. His curiosity mixed with all the horrid things in his imagination were too much.

Thanks to Steve’s open floor plan, he didn’t need to move farther than the entryway to hear the Harringtons’ conversation, though it was faint.

“But you didn’t tell us which Eddie he was,” Steve’s mom hissed in a hushed tone, clearly unhappy.

“Because it doesn’t matter!” Steve argued back, exasperated but still trying to keep his voice down.

“Don’t you raise your voice at us, Stephen,” a gruff male voice commanded, not bothering to keep himself quiet. “You know damn well you were hiding this from us. Do not play me for a fucking fool.”

There was silence, anger boiling inside Eddie. He wanted to defend himself, defend Steve. He wanted to scream. But he remained frozen in place, time only resuming when Steve’s father spoke again. “Do you even know what he was on trial for?” That was right, Steve mentioned he found a way to get the money for Eddie’s lawyer without telling his parents what it was for. In that moment, the guilt might as well have swallowed Eddie whole.

“He didn’t do it,” Steve’s voice was deadly even as he responded.

“How do you know that, Stephen?” His mother combatted.

“And even if he didn’t,” his dad cut in before he could answer. “Do you know what people say about him? That he’s a queer.” Eddie’s stomach sunk, suddenly feeling a thousand pounds heavier and a million miles away.

“He’s my friend,” Steve stood his ground, but it sounded like Eddie’s head was in a fishbowl. He didn’t need to hear anymore, walking back to the van in a daze.

His immediate reaction was to get in and drive home, but digging into his pockets reminded him Steve already asked for his keys. Instead he slid into the passenger seat, deflated in rejection as he stared somewhere far from Steve’s driveway.

He didn’t know how long it had been, feeling like he snapped back into consciousness when Steve closed his door. His hands gripped the steering wheel as he let out a long, exasperated sigh before letting his shoulders slump. Steve looked over at Eddie, glancing over him in that way that made Eddie want to shrink inside himself.

“I’m sorry about that,” Steve said softly, pausing before asking, timidly, “Did… you hear?”

Eddie nodded smally, no longer able to look at Steve. “I should just go home, Steve,” Eddie whispered out, meaning to speak at full volume. He swallowed thickly, his emotions starting to choke him. “What are we even doing?”

“What do you mean, Eddie?” Steve asked gently, lightly pulling one of Eddie’s hands in between his own.

“Us. What are we doing? What am I doing?” Eddie shook his head, knowing that wasn’t an elaboration. “This… what comes with being with… me,” he spat the word as if it were poison. “It shouldn’t be your introduction into dating guys. That’s already hard enough.” He finally met Steve’s eyes, and he instantly regretted it. The wounded look that lay there pierced right through Eddie.

Steve turned in his seat to face Eddie more properly, rubbing Eddie’s hand with his own. “But it’s exactly what you said, Eddie. It’s gonna be hard either way. Shouldn’t it be for someone who’s fucking worth it?”

Eddie shook his head lightly. “I don’t think that’s me, Stevie,” he said weakly, voice cracking as his eyes began to well up. The words looked like they broke Steve to hear just as much they did for Eddie to speak.

“Well… y-you don’t get to make that decision,” Steve blustered firmly, rounded eyes overshadowed by a tightly knit brow. “Not for me. And honestly,” he scoffed humorlessly, “I don’t think there’s anyone else in this stupid, fucking town that’s worth it.” Eddie knew what it looked like when Steve was scared. Knew it far better than he wished he did. The Steve in front of him was filled with fear, and a fearful Steve was a determined Steve. When he was looking at him like that, with that familiar intensity he’d come to know so well, Eddie didn’t know if he had the strength to leave it behind.

Steve dropped his head a bit, eyes closing tightly, his thumb swiping rhythmically over one of Eddie’s knuckles. “But, if you really don’t want to be around me right now, say the word and I’ll take you home,” he opened his eyes to look at Eddie again. “I don’t want you driving like this.”

Eddie stared back at Steve, taking in every worried line and flick of his eyes. “No,” it felt like he spoke in slow motion, drained from the day. “I wanna be around you.”

A smile spread across Steve’s face, though worry still lied underneath. He held Eddie’s gaze as he brought his hand up to his lips, pressing a long kiss to his knuckles before releasing it to start the car. Steve popped the Queen tape, which he’d brought again, in on his own accord. They listened in silence the whole ride, Steve’s hand coming to hold Eddie’s when they hit the straight-away.

+++

Steve took a seat next to Eddie in the back of his van, their legs dangling off the side as they stared out at the moonlit clearing. There was some chirping and chittering of summer bugs and the occasional rustle of the nearby trees, but other than that it was silent.

They sat side by side for a moment, Eddie readying himself to take the plunge. Admittedly, their conversation in Steve’s driveway had calmed his nerves in the slightest. The nerves that remained were fighting the soothing effect of his leg and shoulder pressed to Steve’s, tying him to the moment.

“Right,” Eddie croaked, voice dry from disuse. He swallowed before continuing, “Think I’ll go insane if I keep trying to figure out the right way to start this, so I’ll just… do it.” Steve looked at the side of his face, waiting with patient but anxious eyes. When Eddie spoke it was more to the field than Steve. “How much do you know about… AIDS?”

Steve was still and silent for a moment, before shifting next to Eddie a bit. “Uh… I guess not much, now that I think about it. Just that… gay people get it.”

Eddie nodded slowly in understanding. “I figured. Uh, well… not to be the bearer of bad news but straight people can get it too. And it’s something you’re gonna have to think about now,” he kept his voice gentle, not wanting to come off condescending or overly fearful. “I’m gonna be strict on us using condoms.”

He finally looked at Steve properly. His brow furrowed, “We didn’t use a condom last time.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t have penatrative sex. It’s unlikely to contract it otherwise,” Eddie affirmed, though Steve didn’t seem to be panicked, merely inquisitive.

Steve gave a light scoff, “I dunno, my mouth was pretty penatra–” Eddie cut him off by covering his mouth with his hand, chuckling lightly. He shook his head at Steve in wonder.

“I’m tryin’ to be serious here, Steve,” Eddie smiled, nonetheless appreciative of Steve managing to lighten some of the heaviness.

“Sorry, sorry,” Steve apologized with a small smile of his own when Eddie withdrew his hand, waiting for him to continue.

“Either way, I haven’t been with anyone since my last test and I was clear,” Eddie assured further. “That’s the other thing; testing. I’m gonna need you to start going with me. I’ll show you the clinic I go to. You sort of have to know the right places.”

“Alright,” Steve agreed easily, shrugging. “Testing and condoms. Why were you so stressed to talk to me about this?” He asked softly, leaning into Eddie’s shoulder more.

“It’s not just testing and condoms,” Eddie shook his head. He slid his hand into Steve’s, lacing their fingers together, meeting his eyes with a serious look. “Most people who get it in their twenties don’t live past their forties, Steve. I need you to know… what’s at risk. The clinic can tell you more about it but… I had to bring it up,” Eddie snorted lightly. “Actually, Wayne was the one who pushed me to.”

“Really?” Steve raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, he’s worried that we’ll want to skip on protection because we’re together,” Eddie pursed his lips at Steve in sympathy before he said, “Thinks you’re gonna sleep around, basically.”

“Oh, god,” Steve groaned, running his free hand over his face. “He really doesn’t like me.”

“He’s just protective,” Eddie reassured. Maybe Wayne didn’t like Steve a little, but he didn’t need to let him know that. He knew once his uncle got to know him, his reservations would slip away and he’d probably get along fine. “And… he raises a good point.”

Eddie looked away from Steve for a moment, trying to find the best way to say this without offending him. “Look, I get more than anyone that shit happens,” he fixed him with an earnest gaze. “There are a million situations you could be in where… maybe you end up sleeping with someone else– I know,” Eddie cut himself off when he saw the protest forming on Steve’s face. “I don’t think you will. Really. Just hear me out.”

When Steve stayed silent, settling back a bit, he continued. “If it does happen, for whatever reason… please just tell me,” he breathed out the last part. “I might be pissed, or hurt, or whatever– but it won’t be the end of the world… even if it happens more than once. And trust me,” a smile crept onto Eddie’s face as he squeezed Steve’s hand tighter, taking in his attentive eyes. “As far as I’m concerned I got Hawkin’s finest,” he reveled in the bashful smile that stretched Steve’s face, the man glancing away as pink dusted his cheeks. Dear god, Eddie thought, momentarily awestruck by the man next to him.

“But…” he continued when his brain kickstarted back to life. “If I’m ever a fuckin’ idiot, I’ll tell you.” Steve was looking at him with that slack-jawed smile, eyes wide in something akin to wonder. Eddie would give anything to know what went through Steve’s head when he looked at him like that.

“Okay,” Steve said finally, voice quiet even against the hushed night. “But I’m not gonna sleep with anyone else, Eddie,” his smile stretched into that of one with swelling confidence, laying the charm on thick as he said, “Didn’t I already tell ya you’re the only one worth it in this town?”

Eddie had an idiotic grin of his own when he playfully shoved his free palm into Steve’s face, falling with him as he pushed Steve down onto the bed of the van. “You really don’t have an off button, do you?” He teased, lying on his back with his head turned to look at him properly.

Steve sighed with a smile, eyes round in earnest. “If I’m ever more of an idiot, I’ll tell you,” he said simply. At some point, the tightness in Eddie began to melt away. He almost couldn’t believe he was so close to the brink a mere hour ago.

And just like that, the conversation Eddie dreaded all day was said and done, weight successfully lifted from his chest. Eventually they changed into sweats, Steve practically forcing his yellow sweater on Eddie, and put on Hot Space again. Eddie made a mental note to expand Steve’s tape collection when he could.

“You’re telling me you couldn’t tell at Vickie’s birthday party?” Steve laughed. They’d somehow gotten on the topic of how long it took for Eddie to get a hint.

“You were plastered!” Eddie laughed back in defense. “I thought you were just a touchy drunk– which you are.”

“The fact I only wanted to touch you didn’t say anything?” Steve smirked devilishly, Eddie’s face heating as he rolled his eyes playfully.

“Guess not,” he said, firing back at Steve with a suggestive grin of his own. “I was too distracted by how much I liked you touching me.”

A lopsided smile stretched Steve’s face as he leaned over, a hand coming to cup Eddie’s jaw as he planted a long kiss on his lips. They were lying in the bed of the van, Eddie’s hand coming to rest on Steve’s waist as he deepened the kiss. He wondered when it would stop feeling like he stuck his tongue in an outlet. So far kissing Steve never failed to leave Eddie supercharged, his whole body jittering from the thrill.

As Steve’s mouth moved hungrily against his, Eddie shifted them so he was on top of Steve, sliding a knee between his legs. Steve’s hand on his face traveled to the hair behind his ear, fisting there as the other came to pull Eddie closer by the waist.

Steve parted his lips, silently asking for Eddie’s tongue, which he happily provided. Eddie pressed his knee into Steve’s groin, causing him to hum pleasantly into the former’s mouth. As Eddie broke the kiss to place one on Steve’s jaw, traveling down his neck, Steve’s hand moved to tangle in the back of his head.

Eddie pulled his shirt collar back, indulging in the way Steve bucked his hips against him as he lightly bit the crook of his shoulder. He lapped his tongue over the bite mark before sucking a kiss. They had to be careful where they placed hickies, but Eddie by no means had any plans on foregoing them entirely.

He sat back on Steve enough to pull at his shirt, the man taking no time to sit up and yank it over his head, tossing it behind him into the backseat. Eddie rewarded him by crashing their lips together, pressing deep into it before biting Steve’s bottom lip and tugging. He observed greedily as Steve’s eyes screwed shut, a gasped moan escaping him. Works every time, Eddie thought to himself in satisfaction.

“Eddie,” Steve said suddenly, eyes popping open to fix him with an urgent look. “Choke me.” Once again, Eddie was certain he’d died and woken up somewhere far better than he deserved. With Steve looking at him with eager eyes and requesting such a thing, he instantly stiffened in his pants.

“You sure?” Eddie somehow managed to hold himself together enough to still think rationally.

Steve’s hands came to grip either side of Eddie’s waist tightly, grinding their hips together. Eddie bit his lip, eyes closing as he grunted “Yes. Please,” Steve pleaded breathily.

Eddie sat up a bit, sliding his hand to softly cradle the side of Steve’s face for a moment. The man leaned into the touch, eyes wide in anticipation. “If you want me to stop, just tap me a few times, alright?” Steve merely nodded, clearly ready for Eddie to get on with it.

He chuckled lightly, leaning their faces close. “I’m serious,” he spoke quietly, lips barely an inch from Steve’s. “I’ll be upset if you want me to stop and don’t tell me,” Eddie brushed a thumb over Steve’s cheek, not breaking eye contact for a second. “You don’t wanna upset me, do you Stevie?”

Steve was utterly frozen under Eddie, staring back with pupils blown wide, his entire face beat red. “I’ll tell you,” Steve breathed out.

Eddie smiled down proudly. “That’s my boy,” he rumbled before pressing a slow but firm kiss to Steve’s lips, then pulled back. His hand trailed down to Steve’s throat, fingers splaying across it as he simply indulged in the sight below him. As soon as Eddie’s hand wrapped the span of his throat, Steve’s lips parted and he tilted his chin up in the slightest, as if trying to give Eddie more access. He looked up at Eddie, eyes rounded in clear arousal.

He began to lightly squeeze the sides of Steve’s throat with his fingers, eyes covetous as he watched for Steve’s reaction. Steve seemed to sink into the pillow more, relaxing under Eddie’s touch as his lids fell heavy, tilting his head back more to look at him through thick lashes.

Eddie placed a gentle kiss on Steve's cheek, keeping their faces close as he asked, “More?” Steve nodded minutely. Eddie abided, bringing their lips back together as he increased the pressure. Steve’s hands slid gingerly under Eddie’s (Steve’s) sweater, fingertips traveling lazily upwards. Eddie broke the kiss, but kept his grip on Steve, grinding his hips down on him. Steve groaned, rocking against Eddie.

He released Steve’s throat, trailing his hand slowly onto his chest, his other hand coming to cup Steve’s face once more. “Thoughts?” Eddie asked with a smirk, already well aware of his answer.

Steve breathed out a snort as he lifted his head to look at Eddie better. “I think you can feel my ‘thoughts’,” he smirked, bringing his hands down to grip Eddie’s ass as he rutted against him once more. Eddie rode the movement, chasing the friction and the pleasure it brought with slow grunt.

“Hmmm,” Eddie hummed innocently, making a show of thinking before meeting Steve’s eyes once more. “Ya know, I don’t think I can,” he created enough space between their hips to palm Steve roughly through his sweatpants. Steve’s head fell back onto the pillow, biting down another groan as he writhed under Eddie’s touch. “That’s better,” Eddie smiled over Steve smugly.

“Tell me somethin’, Stevie,” Eddie purred, continuing to rub over an even more vocal Steve. “How many times did you think of me while touching yourself to that magazine?”

Steve moaned, hips bucking urgently into Eddie’s hand. “A lot– fuck,” his head pressed back more into the pillow as Eddie’s hand slipped into his briefs, curling around him. His smile deepened at the whine that escaped Steve after.

“C’mon,” Eddie dragged casually, lazily stroking Steve inside his underwear, going nowhere near the pace he knew Steve was hoping for. “Details, and maybe I’ll be nice.”

“After every time we hung out,” Steve rasped out, Eddie rewarding him by rolling his hand over the head of his dick. His own erection swelled when Steve’s back arched up a bit. “O-or talked on the phone,” he interrupted his shaky words with a moan as Eddie moved over a sweet spot. “Fuck, I just needed you so bad. You have no idea what you do to me, Eddie.”

Eddie just took in the sight of the lusted-over look in Steve’s eyes, face splotchy and lips parted to allow for his tremoring breaths. “Very good, Steve,” he kissed him firmly before trailing down Steve’s body, stopping when he was just above his sweatpants.

Sliding his fingers into both of Steve’s waistbands, Eddie tugged them down only enough to place kisses along his V-line. Steve’s hand fisted into Eddie’s hair. “Fuck, Eddie, please,” he rasped again.

Eddie smirked as he paused to look up at Steve. “‘Please’ what?” He punctuated the question by licking a strip over Steve’s hip bone. He squirmed underneath him with a whine that was eroding away at his own restraint.

“You know what,” Steve retorted, sounding like he ran a marathon.

Eddie pouted in feigned ignorance. “I don’t think I do,” he grazed his teeth lightly over the hipbone before biting down. Both of Steve’s hands were in his hair now, one knee bending briefly as he floundered in his denied pleasure. It dizzied Eddie how turned on Steve was from so little. “It’s simple,” Eddie’s voice rumbled as he brought his mouth to hover not even an inch over the tent in Steve’s sweats. “Use your words, and get what you want.”

He rubbed a hand up Steve’s thigh as he dragged his lips teasingly over the fabric. Steve’s eyes squeezed shut as he pressed his lips into a tight line, a hand leaving Eddie’s hair to run over his own face. “Fine– fuck! I want you to go down on me, okay?” He loved when Steve got so impatient his frustration showed. Eddie’s patient smirk deepened into a salacious grin.

Instead of pulling Steve’s pants down, he sat up and yanked his sweater off, tossing it to the side. He smiled down at Steve as he slipped his fingers back into Steve’s waistband, pausing to say, “Don’t wanna ruin your sweater, and I don’t plan on stopping until you make a mess.” He didn’t give Steve time to process before yanking his briefs and sweatpants down simultaneously, his hard-on springing up to slap his stomach.

Eddie was barely able to contain himself as he discarded Steve’s clothes somewhere in the van. His mouth watered at the precome leaking onto Steve’s stomach. Eddie snaked his hands up Steve’s thighs, over his hips, along his sides, still not giving him what he wanted. You couldn’t really blame him for taking his time, not with the sight of a flushed, dripping Steve below him.

“So worked up already, Stevie,” Eddie cooed as he lowered his lips to kiss Steve’s stomach, pointedly avoiding his dick as he trailed down to his hip. “Who knew ‘the King’ liked being choked so much?” He teased, Steve too busy trying to contain himself to respond.

Eddie parted Steve’s legs a little more, hands exploring everywhere but his cock as he began to place kisses along his inner thigh. He moved closer and closer to where Steve wanted his lips most, nose grazing him enough for the man to thrust his hips, the hand in Eddie’s hair tightening.

“Eddie, for the love of god–” Steve was cut off by Eddie licking a long, slow strip up his length, earning a strained hum from the man. Eddie’s hand wrapped around Steve before taking him into his mouth, almost able to take him to the hilt on his first go. Both of Steve’s hands were now fisting in Eddie’s hair, a loud, choked moan falling from Steve as he arched off the bed of the van. “Fuck, Eddie,” he gasped out as Eddie slowly backed off of Steve before taking him in further, this time succeeding in bottoming out.

Eddie was fairly sure that over the next hour, they managed to scare off every animal in a five mile radius with the noise.

“Jesus Christ, Steve,” Eddie panted out, having just finished on Steve’s stomach. The man below him looked utterly wrecked; face flushed, hair looking like he’d been in a wind tunnel. His lips swollen and red, and a light sheen of sweat slicked his chest hair to him. Eddie was sure his appearance was just as ragged, feeling his hair sticking to his forehead. “See that you’ve kept your stamina from swimming.”

Steve smiled up tiredly, but eyes still lighting up at the praise. “Gimme twenty minutes and some orange juice and I’m ready for round two,” he grinned.

Eddie scoffed in disbelief as he reached to the side for the washcloth Steve brought (clearly he had ambitious prospects for the night, of which he certainly fulfilled.) “You’re gonna give me a heart attack,” Eddie joked, cleaning the mess off of Steve’s stomach.

He slid off Steve to put his boxers back on, clamoring over the backseat– not so graciously– falling onto his back with an ‘oof.’ “What are you doing?” Steve chuckled, popping his head up over the seat.

Eddie started to roll down the back windows. “Letting out the humidity. It’s like a fuckin’ rainforest in here.” The van doors were closed throughout that experience, and he knew opening them now would be freezing, so he settled for this.

As he flopped back over the seats, Steve had to roll out of the way last second to avoid a painful collision. He’d also put his briefs back on, the two of them moving to face each other as they lied on their sides.

He took in every curve, angle, and mole of Steve, who looked right back at him with tired but intrigued eyes. The silence between them was comfortable as Steve slid his hand over Eddie’s waist, pulling him closer and wrapping his arm around him.

Nothing else made Eddie feel the way he did when he looked at Steve. So… full. Of a lot of things. Joy, wonder, attraction. But also fear. When he looked at Steve, he saw all the things he couldn’t bear to lose.

“What are you thinking about, Eddie?” Steve asked quietly, his face apparently showing signs of his mildly perturbed state.

Eddie’s own hand came to snake over Steve’s side, thumb brushing languidly over his waist. “Are you ever so happy it scares you?” Eddie’s voice was small when he found it. “Like… you know at some point it’s gonna have to be over.”

Steve’s brow creased in the slightest as the arm around Eddie unwrapped, his hand instead coming to rest over the side of his jaw and neck. His thumb brushed smoothly over Eddie’s cheek. “Not until recently, but yeah.”

“How do you… deal with it?” Eddie asked earnestly. “Because now that I’ve seen how good it can get… I don’t know if I can… live in the bad again.” Somehow saying it out loud was treacherous. Like admitting it solidified it as truth. His arm tightened around Steve.

Steve gave a half shrug, not tearing his eyes away from Eddie’s for a second. “Things can’t stay bad forever, either,” he leaned in more, the hand curled between them coming to splay over Eddie’s bare chest. “And now I know what I’m holdin’ out for.”

Eddie loved a lot of people. He loved Wayne, he loved the kids, he loved Robin. But he didn’t know what being in love meant. He’d always wondered how people knew; what made them realize the love they felt for a person was… more. In that moment, staring into Steve’s eyes as his thumb brushed soothingly over his cheek, he got his answer.

He didn’t know when he’d fallen in love with Steve. Maybe it was Vickie’s birthday party, or the first night he took him to the clearing. Hell, maybe it was the day they killed Vecna, when Steve pulled him through the gate and told him he was important. All Eddie knew was tonight, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he was in love with Steve. So in love with him he didn’t feel like the word ‘love’ was big enough, like nothing in the English language would be able to describe the explosion in his chest when he looked at the man in front of him.

He hoped soon he’d be brave enough to say it.

+++

“You sure you wanna do this?” Eddie asked, walking alongside Steve. It was a little later in the evening, the streets fairly empty. “We could always go back to mine and watch a movie or something.”

“I’m sure,” Steve said simply. “I’ve always been kinda curious about it I guess. Besides, it’ll be nice to be in public and not… have to be on the lookout.”

“Yeah, but it’s pretty damning if anyone sees us go into a gay bar together,” Eddie spoke lowly despite no one else being in sight. “Just wanna make sure you know what you’re signing up for.”

“You worry too much about what I sign up for, Munson,” Steve smiled over at him. They had parked a few blocks over just in case, as Eddie was concerned people would recognize Steve’s car if it was in the lot.

They talked idly about a movie night at Steve’s, him planning to let the kids stay over again once his parents left for the weekend. “C’mon, why can’t we watch a horror movie?” Eddie chuckled, knowing exactly why.

“Because if any of them have nightmares, they’re wakin’ our asses up in the middle of the night,” he retorted.

Eddie looked at him, unconvinced. “Yeah, the kids will have nightmares. Mayfield frequently bangs on my window to scare the shit out of me– just ‘cause she’s bored. We should all thank god she’s not the one with crazy mind powers.”

“Whatever. I’m still pushing for Raiders of the Lost Ark,” Steve grumbled.

“You just wanna ogle Harrison Ford,” Eddie teased, bumping his shoulder against Steve.

“No,” Steve said defensively. “It’s a fantastic movie.” Eddie looked at him with raised eyebrows. Steve rolled his eyes. “And who doesn’t enjoy Harrison Ford, anyway?” He finally said, Eddie laughing.

They turned onto the street of the bar, Eddie prepared to continue his teasing when a voice behind him flushed his veins with ice. “Well, well, well,” Steve and Eddie stopped in their tracks, turning to look over their shoulder.

“Here we go,” Steve muttered as Jason and Andy walked leisurely toward them. They must have come out of the restaurant they just passed.

“The freak and his purse dog. Done hiding behind the cops, Munson?” Jason leveled with a stern look in his eyes.

Anger coiled around Eddie’s stomach like a snake, eyes narrowing on Jason. “You should really start a fan club, Carver,” Eddie’s words were void of his usual nonchalance despite the patronizing words. “Much healthier way to curb your obsession. Ya know, instead of stalking me.”

Jason closed the space between them with a couple of steps, attempting to intimidate but for once in Eddie’s life the rage inside him made him impunitive. “Careful, Munson. I don’t see Hopper around to cover your ass.”

Steve stepped between them, pressing his fingertips into Jason’s chest. “Why don’t you go play vigilante somewhere else?” His voice was low and steady.

Jason scoffed, wild eyes fixing on Steve in a scrutinizing stare. “You know what? You stick up for the freak a lot, Harrington,” a smug smile twitched his lips. “Careful, don’t wanna catch anything–” he barely had time to finish the sentence before Steve’s fist struck Jason across his cheekbone.

Jason let out an anguished growl as he staggered back. “Son of a bitch!” He grabbed Steve roughly by the collar and slammed him up against the building next to them. He wasted no time to land two punches to Steve’s eye. Everything somehow slowed to a stop and moved in double-time. Eddie, who rarely fought humans, reacted before he even had time to think.

Andy swung again, but Eddie managed to dodge clumsily out of the way. His fist shot out, cracking Andy directly on the nose with his rings. Andy cried out, a mixture of pain and primal rage as his hands flew to his face. The sight stilled Eddie briefly as he shook out his hand, staring in awe at his success.

Out of the corner of Eddie’s eye he had seen Jason drop from Eddie’s kick, stooping in front of Steve. “Always in the fucking face!” He yelled in frustration as he swiftly brought his knee up to slam into the underside of Jason’s jaw. This had Jason down for longer, shaking his head as if in an attempt to whisk off the pain. Eddie let out a delirious laugh at the sight as Jason cradled his face. It was likely Steve’s action resulted in him biting his tongue.

Unfortunately, this allowed Andy enough time to recover, slamming his fist into Eddie’s lip. He cursed under his breath as he scrambled back, hand coming to cover the injury. There was blood on his fingers when he pulled them away from his face, not getting more than a second before Andy brought his knee hard into Eddie’s stomach. Eddie doubled over, the air being sucked from his lungs.

Eddie was on one knee, looking up at Andy looming over him as he no doubt prepared another brutality. Before he had the chance to act, Steve was in front of Andy, shoving him back. “What are you waiting for?” Steve antagonized, staying on his toes as he brought his fists up in front of his face. “Carver to tell you how high to jump?”

Andy took the bait, swinging on Steve, who ducked and barreled into Andy’s middle, steamrolling him into the wall. This wasn’t enough to stun Andy for long, bringing his elbow down to collide with Steve’s spine.

Steve’s knees buckled, Andy grappling at his jacket and flipping their positions. He slammed Steve up against the wall, fist pulling back to land another blow. Steve, ever the quick thinker, moved his head just in time for Andy’s knuckles to crunch into the wall.

“Fuck!” Andy cried out, recoiling and cradling his hand. Eddie, finally catching his breath, was set on helping Steve. Before he could take the first step, however, he saw Jason was fully standing again, and his eyes were locked onto Eddie.

He moved at Eddie with impressive speed, but Eddie’s panicked instincts were faster. At the last second Eddie dropped to his knees, Jason now off balance from his unexpected miss. Eddie threw his full weight into Jason’s legs, knocking him onto his back, head hitting the pavement with a sickening thud.

Steve took their brief upperhand as an opportunity to glance next to him, eyes falling on a metal trash can beside him. Steve grabbed the lid by the sides and swung it into Andy’s ribcage. Eddie watched as he dropped to the ground with a choked noise, curling in on himself slowly.

Eddie didn’t hesitate any longer, scrambling on top of Jason. He pulled back his fist, channeling a hostility unlike any other he’d known as he cracked his rings against the bridge of Jason’s nose. The younger man cried out, eyes swimming as they struggled to focus on Eddie above him. But it wasn’t enough, the fury inside him unsatisfied, Eddie brought his fist down once more, the blow landing on Jason’s cheek. Jason barely had the stamina to groan out.

Tears welled in his eyes as he balled Jason’s shirt into his fists, jerking his torso off the ground so the man was forced to look at him. “Just leave me the fuck alone!” He yelled through gritted teeth, Jason’s head lolling back as Eddie jostled him. Jason was practically limp and seemingly barely conscious, but his eyes were still struggling to stay on Eddie. His voice shook with venom as he spoke again, low and panting. “I didn’t kill Chrissy, and I don’t give a fuck if you believe me anymore. But if you ever come near me, my family, or my friends again, I will do anything to protect us. Get that through your thick. Fucking. Head.” He was almost pleading as he trembled over Jason.

Eddie was still gripping him, chest heaving, when he felt a gentle touch snake over his shoulder. He flinched away at first, jolting to look at who it was. His eyes softened as he saw Steve crouching over him, the rampage that was building inside him starting to slip away.

“Eddie, we gotta go,” Steve said, soft but urgent as he started to pull Eddie up. He dropped Jason to the ground, Andy still laid out as well.

His legs moved on their own, allowing Steve to guide him into a clumsy jog. About a block down Eddie realized Steve was swaying, struggling to keep steady. “Shit,” Eddie pulled Steve’s arm over his shoulder, placing his other hand on his side to support him better as he took the lead in getting them back to Steve’s car. “We gotta get you to a doctor.”

“No,” Steve drawled out urgently, eyes scrunching closed for a moment. “We’re going to Hopper’s.”

“What?” Eddie shook his head. “No, we’re going to the hospital. This is, what? Your millionth head injury?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he grumbled out as they trudged along. “They can help me at the Byers’ house. I’ll see a doctor later, right now we need to get ahead of all the legal shit Carver is gonna throw our way.”

“Steve–”

“No, Eddie,” Steve forced out. “We’re going to Hopper’s, and that’s it. He’ll know what to do.”

“What if you’re really fucked up–”

Steve cut him off once more. “Then I’ll still be fucked up tomorrow. Besides if something happens to me and you get–” Steve forced an exhale through his nose, Eddie unable to tell if it was out of pain or frustration. “It’ll all be for nothing, okay?”

Eddie gave him a long look as they neared the street Steve parked on. He knew that look in Steve’s eyes, even when they were battered and worn. He wasn’t budging on this. Eddie let out a huffed sigh. “Fine. But as soon as we’re finished with Hopper we’re getting you to a doctor.”

They arrived at Steve’s car not long after the compromise, Eddie gently lowering Steve into the passenger seat before getting the keys from him and sliding in the driver’s seat. “You better not fuck up my car,” Steve muttered, eyes closed as he leaned his head against the headrest.

Eddie scoffed in disbelief. “That’s really what you’re worried about right now?”

“No, but I’d rather worry about that than whatever bullshit we’re gonna have to deal with,” he said simply. “And you drive like a sixteen year old.”

“I do not,” Eddie disagreed.

“Mayfield is almost a better driver than you, and that’s saying something,” even in his down-trodden state, he managed a weak smile. Fondness bloomed in Eddie’s chest as he looked over him, worry tinging the edges of his comfort. There was silence for a minute or two, Eddie forcing himself to think about anything other than the million things that could go wrong. He was failing miserably, until Steve spoke again; “Did he really call me a purse dog?”

It would never fail to amaze Eddie how Steve could make him laugh in even the most serious of times. “He definitely did,” Eddie was still grinning.

“I’ve been called a lot of things, but that one might be the most insulting,” Steve said, amused but clearly not having the energy to maintain his smile.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re a very pretty purse dog,” Eddie smiled over at him, feeling accomplished when he saw the corners of Steve’s mouth upturn. They drove in relative silence, Eddie making witty commentary whenever it looked like Steve was dozing off, forcing himself to swallow his trepidation.

+++

“Oh my god,” Joyce’s eyes rounded in horror as she opened the door. “What the hell happened to you two?” She ushered them in, leading Steve and Eddie to the couch. Eddie lowered Steve onto the couch, instantly turning his head to inspect his face. His lids were already puffy, eye and cheek bruised and swollen.

“Carver,” Eddie said frantically. “Where’s Hopper?” Before Joyce could answer, the man in question rounded the corner.

“Jesus,” he looked over them. “What the hell is going on?”

“We got into a fight with Jason and one of his friends,” Eddie explained when Steve attempted to sit up, instantly needing to collapse back against the couch.

“It’s bad,” Steve mumbled, eyes closed as his head lolled back.

“Yeah, I can fuckin’ see that,” Hopper said flatly.

“I’ll get the first aid kit,” Joyce disappeared out of the living room as Eddie began filling in Hopper on what occurred.

Joyce had confirmed that Steve had a concussion, bringing a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a dishrag to hold. Eddie had migrated to the arm of the couch to allow Steve to lie down all the way. Luckily, Will was apparently at Mike’s for the night, and El at Max's. Eddie was glad they wouldn’t have to see this.

“So Carver didn’t swing first?” Hopper clarified, pacing in front of the coffee table.

“No, Steve did,” Eddie supplied, knowing that was their first mistake.

Hopper let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand over his face roughly as he continued his pacing. “You’re not giving me much to work with here, kid,” he directed his comment to Steve.

“You didn’t hear the shit he was saying,” Steve attempted to sit up in defense, Eddie promptly putting his hand on Steve’s chest and pushing him back down gently. “Besides, that son of a bitch wasn’t going to leave Eddie alone otherwise.”

“Well, he’s certainly not gonna leave you alone now!” Hopper retaliated emphatically. “Even if we tried to say it was self defense considering his previous threats– which is already weak considering who Carver is and who the town thinks you are–” he looked at Eddie pointedly, and even though he knew it was Hopper just stating facts, shame swarmed him. “It sounds like you two left them in a much worse state than you are. This doesn’t look good, for either of you.”

“Why do you think we came straight here?” Steve argued. Over their time clearing Eddie’s name and the trial, Hopper, Steve, Eddie, and even Joyce had spent a lot of time together behind the scenes. It took more than a few elaborate, provable lies, and they needed people like Hopper and Chief Powell to direct the things they needed to worry about. Not to mention pull the strings as much as they could from the inside. The two who got the closest, however, were likely Hopper and Steve.

After long nights of planning at the Hopper-Byers household, Eddie would frequently wake up on the couch to see Hopper and Steve talking quietly over coffee, clearly furthering their plans to help Eddie. He’d written off Steve’s dedicated involvement, considering he did end up paying for an extremely good lawyer, and it made sense in Eddie’s head that he would want to be clued in.

It of course meant the world to Eddie when Steve did so much to help, and frankly the man’s dedication during that time made it some of the hardest months to bury what had been awoken that day in the woods. But looking back on that now, his relationship with Steve being what it was, his heart swelled as he looked down at him on the couch. Before he could think better of it, he laced his fingers into Steve’s hair, soothing him in a way Eddie knew would work. Steve relaxed properly into the couch, the knot between his brows loosening.

“I can only help so much. I mean, did you need to hit him with the lid of a trash can?” Hopper asked, incredulous.

“Well, we’re obviously gonna tell people yes,” Eddie answered matter-of-factly. Hopper glared at him.

“No one is going to believe that when Carver eventually takes legal action– which he definitely will do. At least not with how things are now,” Hopper shook his head, still pacing.

“I’m not following,” Eddie admitted, frustration seeping into him the longer he looked at Steve’s battered face. “And we need to speed this up. Steve needs to see a doctor.”

“Steve’s gonna have to get a lot more roughed up before he sees a doctor. You both are,” Hopper finally stopped his walking, fixing them with a serious stare. Steve, Eddie, and Joyce looked at him in confusion.

“Jim, I agree, he needs to see a doctor,” she looked over at Steve in concern briefly. “I’ve seen this kid have more head injuries in the past four years than any person should have in their whole life.”

“We go to a doctor to fix you two up, we have to tell them how you got hurt. We can’t lie, because if they look through medical records during whatever the Carver family tries to throw at us, we might as well stamp ‘guilty’ on Eddie’s goddamn forehead,” a frustrated Jim Hopper could easily be intimidating, but when you knew him, you knew how to tell when it was really just worry. Eddie could see his brain working overtime as he tried to piece together a solution. “So when we go to a doctor, not only do we have to know exactly what we’re telling them, we have to provide proof that they needed to go as far as they did.”

“What are you saying?” Eddie snorted. “Beat the shit out of each other so it looks worse?” He hadn’t been serious, but the look on Hopper’s face made all traces of amusement flee his body as his hand in Steve’s hair stalled. “Are you deranged?”

“We’re not doing that,” Joyce stated over Eddie’s question.

“It’s the only option we have,” Hopper insisted.

“Steve’s already concussed!” Eddie pulled his hand out of Steve’s hair to gesture over him, returning it to start his light massaging once more.

“And we’re frankly lucky he is!” Hopper fired back sternly before his shoulders sagged, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath. He looked back at them, a slightly calmer resolve. “Obviously I don’t want to see you two get hurt. But I also don’t want to see either of you in jail because of some rich scumbag.”

“He’s right,” Steve finally spoke, Eddie’s attention snapping to meet his eyes. “ We didn’t beat your charges just to get thrown in jail now. And you’re more at risk than I am… A lot of people are still gunning to see you behind bars, Eddie.” Steve’s eyes were wide and unyielding as he held Eddie’s gaze, his voice quieting towards the end, as if to cushion the blow of reality.

Eddie bit his lip as he searched for the right answer in Steve’s stare. The thought of Steve having to get hurt more than he already did, just for him… it cored Eddie just to imagine. But Steve and Hopper were both right, and he knew it.

“Fine,” he relented, hating the decision more and more as he made it. “But we’re doing most of the damage to me, and no more headshots for Steve.”

“Will this even be enough?” Joyce gesticulated frantically to the general area. “How do we know we’re not just hurting them for no reason?”

“We don’t,” Hopper said simply. “But it’s either we try this, or roll over and let the Carvers basically decide what happens to both of them.”

“I’ll go first,” Eddie stood up, retracting his hand from Steve’s hair.

“No,” Steve protested, starting to sit up again. “I’ll go first.”

“I don’t think so, Harrington,” Eddie, once again, pushed him back against the couch. “Gives you more time to rest.”

“I’ll watch after him. Make sure nothing gets worse,” Joyce put a comforting hand on Eddie’s shoulder, holding an earnest gaze.

Eddie nodded in somber appreciation before turning to Hopper. “How are we doing this?”

Joyce moved Steve to Jonathan’s room, leaving Hopper and Eddie in the living room. Hopper pushed the furniture out of the way, giving them room in the middle. Hopper handed Eddie a rag. “To bite down on,” he informed, apprehensive.

Eddie took it, steadying Hopper with a reassuring look, or at least as much of one as he could muster. “Don’t hold back. And don’t feel bad.”

He placed the rag between his teeth, closing his eyes as he braced himself for some kind of impact. “Tell me when you need a break,” Hopper said, and then pain erupted from his ribs.

Eddie doubled over, a grunt muffled into the cloth before taking a punch to the gut. His eyes pressed tighter when Hopper’s shin connected to his side, an agonized cry shaking him painfully as he dropped to his knees.

There were firm but careful hands pulling him to sit up, a choked noise croaking out as Hopper maneuvered him. “I’m sorry, kid,” it was almost a whisper, the first tear finally spilling out of Eddie’s closed eyes as the pain washed over him. “I have to hit your face some. I’m sorry. Trust me, face injuries gain the most sympathy.”

Eddie only nodded frantically, humming through the anguish as he tilted his face up, still keeping his eyes closed. The rag fell from his mouth as Hopper’s fist collided with his cheek, a sob wracking his body. White hot fire shot through his ribs at the heaving. “Again,” Eddie hissed through clenched teeth, his breath quick and uneven. He shoved the cloth back into his mouth, Hopper landing another blow to the same cheek not long after.

He didn’t know how much longer he lasted. After another five or so blows to various places on his body, time started to disappear. Eventually, a knee to his back ripped a scream from him that failed to be quieted even by the rag, devolving into a helpless sob. “Stop,” Eddie whispered out, trembling on the floor as he clutched his sides. Even the shallowest breath felt like he was shattering his ribcage. “Please stop.”

“We’re done,” Hopper said gently, sitting next to him and rubbing his hand over Eddie’s bicep. “We’re done. You did it,” he soothed as Eddie wept quietly beside him. During times where he was in less physical pain, it always shocked Eddie how compassionate Hopper was for such a rough man. He supposed maybe some people were made to be fathers, even if they didn’t think it themselves.

Hopper ended up carrying Eddie to Will’s room, lying him in the bed as carefully as he could, though it did little to silence his afflictions. He’d barely been alone in Will’s room a minute before Joyce was beside the bed, hand coming to hold Eddie’s. “How’s Steve?” He croaked, using all the energy he had to look at her.

Her lips pressed into a melancholic smile as she looked over Eddie with so much care, he thought it was enough to crumble him to nothing. Eddie wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of a mother’s warm gaze, and he thought that people who felt it frequently must think themselves invincible. Like even the sharpest parts of the world softened to them. He also wondered how much of this effect came with being a mother, and how much was just Joyce.

“He’s doing a lot better. No vomiting. Even walked to the living room on his own,” she assured tenderly. “The concussion doesn’t seem to be too severe, at least in my opinion. And though I’m not a doctor, I’ve been cleaning up those kids for years now. Not to mention who I’m dating,” she added that last part with a sheepish, humorous smile, Eddie only able to offer a weak exhale and twitch of his lips in return.

She held Eddie’s hand in both of her’s now, rubbing them soothingly. “He’s gonna be okay. You both are. This isn’t the worst either of you have been through. Remember that.”

Then, Eddie’s stomach sank like a stone as a familiar, pained cry rang through the house, the door not enough to muffle it. Horror scooped away at Eddie’s insides as the sounds of Steve’s agony carried from the living room.

Tears sprang to Eddie’s eyes, his face still wet from the last time he cried while he began to sit up, as eventually it became too much. Listening was more excruciating than anything Hopper did to him. “This isn’t worth it.”

“Eddie,” Joyce moved one of her hands to his shoulder, halting him. She looked at him with watery eyes, but steeled them into a resolve regardless. “I know the next few minutes are going to be hard, but you’re going to get through it. We’re going to get through it,” she gave his hand an affirming squeeze. “And then we’re going to figure out what we’re gonna say so we can get both of you to a doctor.”

A choked, almost desperate yell came from the other room. Tears rolled silently over Eddie’s cheeks, closing his eyes in an attempt to shut out the sound, or maybe reality. His jaw clenched to a painful extent as he gripped Joyce’s hand tighter. She sat beside him on the bed, cradling his shoulders as she pulled Eddie into her lap. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” she soothed, rubbing his arm slowly while all he could do was sob into her embrace.

“It's my fault,” he gasped out, clutching onto her like she was the only thing tethering him to the Earth. “I did this to him,” his voice was nasal and desperate, torso burning with every cry that shook him, but he didn’t care. In his mind, it was the least he deserved. What could he possibly have to offer that was important enough to protect at such a cost? How could he even live with himself after making Steve do such a thing for him?

“Hey– look at me,” Joyce turned him gently, a severe look in her eyes as she cupped his face in her lap with both her hands, forcing his attention on her. “Don’t you say that. You didn’t ask for any of this. When I heard what happened to you…” a few stray tears ran down her face as she trailed off for a moment, the suffering in her face sinking into Eddie like sharp claws. When Joyce spoke again, her voice was tight and cracking. “It broke my heart. Imagining how alone you were. How scared. And when I met you, got to know you over the trial… It all made so much sense why everyone was so determined to help.”

Eddie’s heart filled with lead as more of Steve’s cries were heard. Joyce held his face more firmly, but not harsh, demanding his gaze through the noise. “How much Will looks up to you alone is enough to tell me the world needs people like you, Eddie. And the people around you choose to help you because they love you. Not because they have to,” she ran her knuckles gently down one side of his face. “Word of advice; if you wanna repay them, allow them to love you. You’re so young, and you’ve got a long life ahead of you. Don’t…” she shook her head while she seemed to gather her words. Her lips turned down in a frown as she stared at Eddie pleadingly. “Don’t choose to live it alone because you think you know what you deserve.”

Eddie trembled in Joyce’s hold, hoping that if he looked into her condoling eyes long enough he’d believe her words. No more cries came from the living room, but it just left Eddie feeling emptier, the silence somehow ringing out just as loud.

Not long after Steve’s cries stopped, Will’s door creaked open to reveal a solemn Hopper. “He’s resting in Jonathan’s room, if you want to see him,” Hopper informed, face riddled with guilt. “We’ll give you two some time to recover before we start figuring out what we’re gonna say.”

Eddie groaned as he sat up, Joyce steadying him as he stood. “Can you walk?” She asked mildly. Eddie took an experimental step, managing to stay upright even as his ribs screamed at the movement. He winced, nodding in response. Joyce hovered near him as he walked slowly to Jonathan’s room, knocking lightly on the door before twisting the knob, leaning his weight on it to take some strain off his aching body.

“Eddie?” Steve’s strained voice asked in the dark room, having to shield his eyes at the light he let in. Eddie quickly closed the door behind him before hobbling over to the bed. He began to lower himself onto the ground beside it, but wounded whimpers fell from Steve as the boy tried to scoot over in the bed.

“You shouldn’t be moving so much,” Eddie placed his other hand on Steve’s chest, but he merely gritted his teeth as he continued to make room. Once he’d made enough for him, Steve’s hands came to tug gently on Eddie’s forearm. He obliged, of course, crawling into bed next to him, wincing as he did so.

“How bad is it?” Eddie asked in a small voice, eyes large as he looked over Steve.

“I’ll live,” Steve said in a raspy voice, entwining his arm with Eddie’s as he laced their hands together, cheek coming to rest lightly on Eddie’s shoulder.

The guilt crawled through Eddie’s skin like roaches scurrying away from the light, the silence only amplifying his unease. “I’m so sorry, Steve,” he whispered out, unable to find his voice anymore.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Eddie,” Steve reassured hoarsely, throat sounding as raw as Eddie’s felt.

“If it weren’t because of me–” Steve instantly cut him off.

“You keep saying that if it weren’t because of you things wouldn’t happen– and the truth is it doesn’t matter,” Steve’s hand tightened around Eddie’s, the two of them holding the conversation without looking at each other, as it was too physically demanding. “You know what wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you? Vecna dying. Hawkins wouldn’t even fucking exist right now if it weren’t for your help. And even if it did, I’d have been dead a million times without you. A lot of us would be.”

Steve’s face scrunched into a wince as he forced himself to sit up, looking Eddie in his eyes despite the monumental effort even the smallest movement took. “So if I want to get the shit beat out of me to keep you around, just let me, okay?” His eyes darted around Eddie’s face, filling with disconcertment as he took in the fresh injuries. His free hand came to carefully brush a strand of Eddie’s hair out of his face. A small but genuine smile appeared on his face. “I don’t know what way I gotta put it for you to finally get it through that painfully beautiful head of yours, Eddie, but I’d rather be beaten up and shunned by everyone in Hawkins than stop talking to you.”

Eddie knew he was selfish, indulging in people and things he didn’t earn. But Steve knew exactly how to make it impossible for Eddie to deny him what he wanted. Even if he thought what Steve wanted wasn’t good for him. That he wasn’t good for him. Maybe it was finally starting to sink in that Steve was old enough to make his own mistakes, and he should just be grateful that he’s one of them.