Chapter 12

*ALEXA P.O.V*

I left the palace to leave those cruel people life for good to a destination that I didn't even know, I could feel tears slowly gathering in my eyes, They must wish me miles away and that what am going to do, My legs were weak and my feet was sour, I already had bruises on them too, I needed water and my stomach added to my pain and suffering by constantly grumbling asking for food, it was torture and I felt like I was in hell, No it was worse than hell, I was all alone and depressed... I had no money to buy food or water but even if I had there was no stall in sight, I had decided not to head to town not even for once to buy or look for food before I finally left the town and kingdom for good, I was angry and I was following James or should I say the prince orders, he didn't believe me and had me banish so that he could never see me face ,Then fine that was what I was going to do , I was going to leave his life for good and I would never ever going to come back cause he chose to believe Stephanie and even if he comes after me, he would never find me but if he eventually succeed, he would never get his Alexa again but only his maid, That was my decision...

My heart was bitter and broken and he caused it, All my life I have been suffering and I am starting to think that I would suffer for the rest of my life, I had gone lost faith in love, I would never fall in love again cause love is... love is just painful and it makes your heart sick and I didn't wanted to nor was I ready to fall in love and have my heart broken for the third time, I had experience my heartbreaking from jack and now James, it took me long before I could get over the heartbreak I received from jack and now James had broken my already healing heart, I was never going to forgive him for this, I feel like am been suffocated, Both has hurt me dearly, I know that Jack didn't have a choice but to marry that maid because he isn't superior or anything but James was and he had a choice he could have choose to believe me and stayed with me but no he supported that cruel princess Stephanie and it makes me wonder but I guess that he would always choose Stephanie over me even in a billion years and in a billion time to come, Stephanie would still win and he would support her, I guess that was fair too cause he was prince so he was meant to marry Stephanie, A princess right? and that just makes me sad, I guess we were both never meant to be together, I was a maid and I would always remain a maid, that her feelings was never ever going to be cherished...

I could feel my stomach rumbling, I was hungry , I needed to get food in order to save myself and my unborn child... Yes you heard me right, my unborn child, I was pregnant with James child and I discovered it a day before the wedding... I had always thought that everything would be alright and we would live together, I , James and my child as a one big happy family, I thought that I would be his queen and bear so many children for him and we would watch them grow and they would take care of us when we were old, I thought we would live and die together, I had so many aspirations and dreams for us but I guess that was all fantasies,A myth, all in my head , it was never going to come true, and I was only building caste in the air, it was pointless and was never going to happen now, Everything is ruin, I realized that I was already crying, why wouldn't I cry, it hurt more than death itself and I wish that I had never agreed on switching places with the princess, I wish that I had never had his child cause it was a constant reminder of the love that we shared, I wish I had never knew the prince and I had never fallen in love with the prince, I wish that I had eloped with jack and gotten married to him, I wish that it wasn't so hard and impossible to forget James and I wish that I could instantly hate him but no I couldn't and most of all I wished that I was never born cause all I ever experienced was suffering, immense suffering, I would regretted all that I had done, I would forever live with regret...

I had tried so many times killing myself and just ending it all when I couldn't bare the suffering any more but I just couldn't, I was bearing a child and I couldn't just end my own child life, I would never forgive myself, The child has done nothing to me so doesn't deserve to be killed, it was not the child fault that my life sucks and his father banished me.... No I can't do this, I can't killed the child...

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It was windy night time and I was in a deserted place and i didn't know where to go, I was scared and alone, My legs were shaking and I was so weak and all I could do was to rain curses on the prince, Stephanie, the king and every other person that have made my eyes a living hell...I could hear sounds coming from the woods and I could see a lake near by and it makes me remember the story of the weeping woman who lost all her children in a lake and would go out every night weeping at every lake looking for her children....

The story was so scary and it made me become terrified, Suddenly the sound in the woods started increasing minute by minute and I feared greatly, maybe something or some animal had sighted me and was coming out to attack, the sound grew nearer and I knew that had to run, I wasn't going to wait for the sound that I assumed to be that of a animal to come out and eat me, I had to run....

I ran and ran and theore I ran the more the sound increases drawing closer to me as if the animal was already chasing me, My heart flew to my mouth and I was so afraid of what was going to happen, I could feel my eyes shaking and I knew I was becoming dizzy but I didn't stop running for a second, my legs also didn't wanted to continue running but I had too....

Slowly I could see my vision becoming blurrier and blurrier by the second and slowly I could feel myself falling on the ground collapsing and the next thing I saw was darkness...