07

LUCI

If I killed an angel, would I go to Hell?

I supposed the "Hell" part was inevitable for me though. But the mere thought of being with Saint for an entire weekend was eating me alive.

After class, Saint ignored me for the entire day. I wasn't complaining about it though. I'd wish he'd do it every day.

The only problem I had was my habit of watching him extra carefully. It's not that I wanted to, but he wasn't very good at controlling his emotions. Resulting in various patches of ice littering wherever he placed his hands.

His group of friends were too absentminded to notice.

But I did. The more reckless Saint was with controlling himself, the bigger the target he would be. It would only be a matter of time before someone noticed.

I groaned and continued to reluctantly pack my bag.

I didn't know how many clothes I should pack. It was only going to be for a weekend right?

"Maybe just two of everything," | mumbled quietly to me.

I placed my black long-sleeve shirt into the bag as well as a white one. | grabbed a worn pair of blue jeans and tossed them in with some undergarments.

I went to my closet and scanned the racks for extra things to toss in when | heard a faint knock on my door.

"Luci I'm coming in," my mom said. She opened my door carefully as if trying to be silent.

Coming over to my bed, she sat down and eyed my bag suspiciously.

"What are you packing for?"

I placed the last of my clothing items in the bag and zipped it up tightly.

The art of lying came fairly easy to me. It came down to one simple principle: the more you believed what you were saying to be true, the more convincing you'll come off.

"Celia and | are hanging out this weekend. Kind of like a girl's night out."

Excess clothes littered my floor so! quickly began to pick them up. I could feel her eyes on me as | tossed each clothing item into the large hamper in the corner of my room.

"Are you asking me, or telling me, Lucille?" she asked sternly.

The edge of her voice was hard. I knew | had to pick my words very carefully.

Mallory Black was not someone to be played with. She wasn't old but her eyes were always tired and dark. We rarely looked alike. The only resemblance we shared was our eyes. Other than that, my mother had black hair that was always adorned in thick twists that went down her back. Her complexion was darker than mine and her skin shined in the sun.

She was beautiful. That was a fact that could not be denied. My mother always carried a small smile but it never reached her eyes. I knew she was hurting.

When my dad had left so abruptly | could tell it took a big toll on her. Not to mention the emotional trauma she must have gone through just to keep me safe from the world at the time. She had never gone into detail about how it happened, but I knew it could not have been easy.

"I'm asking?" | said with a playful edge to my voice.

Sitting down next to her I placed my head on her shoulders. She sighed and stroked my head.

"Can | please go, mom? I'll be back before school, | promise. I and Celia haven't hung out in a while."

"Fine. Only because you've been doing well lately," she stated. "But if your math grade doesn't go up then something like this won't happen again."

I nodded into her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm leaving after school, so don't wait up for me tonight."

The bed creaked as | stood up. | grabbed my bag and placed it in the corner of the room. My mom watched me silently while] scanned my room for my other essentials.

"Lucille?"

I snapped my head towards her and stood still in the corner of the room. "Yes?"

"I know I don't ask as often as I should, but have you been okay with..."

She trailed off her sentence, but | knew what she meant. ] understood it was hard for her to talk about, but it was difficult for me not to know the answers.

"Yeah, it's been fine. I've got it under control, don't worry."

She sighed and clasped her hands together. Nodding profusely and hands twitching, she gave me a nervous smile.

"Good. That's very good."

I nodded and silence fell through the air.

"Do you need a ride to school? Or is Marcus coming to get you today?"

"Marcus is coming," | replied. | took a look at my watch and groaned. "He actually should be outside now."

My backpack sagged on the floor and I quickly picked it up. | walked over to my long mirror and stared at my reflection deeply.

Dwelling on my appearance was not something | liked to do. The more | stared into mirrors, the more | would start to pick apart my flaws. I knew that beauty was fleeting but I couldn't help but want it for myself.

I walked out my bedroom door quickly and my mom followed me out. Within a few steps, I met the fridge in the kitchen and frowned when I opened it up to see its contents.

'I'm sorry honey, | forgot to get groceries yesterday."

I plastered a fake smile and gave my mom one last hug. "It's fine. I'll eat something later."

She nodded and opened the door for me as I walked out.

In the distance, I could see the black car speed up and slow down my street.

"He's here, I'll see you soon mom." She nodded at me and quickly went back inside the house. The car came closer to the front of the apartment complex and slowed down.

"Let's go, Luci! We don't have all day," Marcus yelled from his car.

I smiled and jogged up to the back door. Unlocking it, I jumped in and placed my backpack in the vacant seat.

Celia had reclined her seat and the skirt she was wearing rode up her thigh a bit. She sat quietly in the passenger

the seat next to Marcus and drew figure eights on her skirt.

I closed the door and put on my seat belt as Marcus began to drive away.

"You got work today?" He asked. "No, | cancelled my shift," I replied.

He turned his back for a second and gave me a puzzled look. "You never miss work. Is everything okay?"

Marcus was always good at reading me. Most of the time it would be helpful but this time it was not

needed.

"Yeah, | just wasn't feeling too good so I'm just gonna stay home."

Celia suddenly perked up from her seat and turned her head back to glance me over.

"You're sick?"

"Just a little faint. | think I've been over-exerting myself," I lied.

"Well if you want, I could come over today and we can hang out." She suggested.

"No, it's fine. I think I'm going to rest."

She nodded and turned back around before throwing Marcus a look.

They always did that. Sometimes | felt as if Celia and Marcus were hiding things from me, or at least made me feel like a third wheel on purpose. They would give each other looks, that only they understood. Constantly whisper things that J couldn't hear to another and they hung out without me quite often. I loved them with all my heart but | was Starting to feel out of the loop.

I sighed and sat in the back of the car for the short ride.

I checked my phone absentmindedly to try to pass the time. It was then I noticed in the corner of my eye that Marcus' hand had found Celia's thigh. He gripped it tightly and her skirt was ridden up very high.

I made eye contact with Marcus' in the rearview mirror and he quickly looked away and removed his hand.

I knew something was going on between them, but I didn't think they would hide it from me.

We pulled up to school and Marcus parked further down the lot. I quickly got out of the car and slammed the door behind me.

With my backpack in hand, I furiously walked out of the parking lot while they trailed behind.

"Luci!" Celia called after me.

The sound of her platform boots trailed behind her as she caught up to me. She put a hand on my shoulder and | immediately shrugged it off.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Marcus had caught up as well and stood out of breath next to her. They both look at me with concerned eyes and sad smiles.

"When were you two gonna tell me?"

They both exchanged looks and Celia cocked her head to the side.

"Tell you what?" They said in unison.

I scoffed and pointed between the both of them. "That you are together? When were you going to let me know."

Marcus placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a sincere look. "We're not together."

Celia's loud sigh rang through the air and her demeanour and stance changed. She crossed her arms and glared at Marcus from behind.

"So you are just going to lie?" | questioned. "I saw you two in the car. You had your hand on her thigh."

They both exchanged looks again.

"We're not together," he repeated.

I removed his hand from my shoulder and clenched my fists. "Okay, you're not together," 1 admitted. "But are you two hooking up?"

They glanced at each other once more before averting my gaze. Marcus stuffed his hands in his pocket and Celia played with her fingers.

"Unbelievable," I began, "un-fucking-believable."

I turned away and stomped towards the school building. People around us turned our way and started to glance at our conversation.

"Wait! Luci, please wait," Celia called out.

She caught up to me and grabbed my hand. I quickly snatched it away from her as | could feel the fire in the pit of my stomach start to grow.

"We were going to tell you. | swear we were. But we didn't know the right time"

"And we were confused about it too since we're all friends," Marcus added.

"No!" I shouted, "you two are always hiding things from me. This just tops the cake."

"How long have you two been hooking up?" | asked.

Marcus coughed awkwardly and cleared his throat. "About a month."

I scoffed and began to walk away. "I can't believe this," I muttered.

Celia ran towards me once more and stopped in front of me. "Why are you so mad? It's not that big a deal."

"Because | don't like how you two just get to lie to me and possibly ruin our friendship dynamic."

She rolled her eyes and tapped her foot against the concrete. "It's not going to ruin anything | promise. We're not even together."

"Yeah, but you want to be right?" I whisper lowly so that only she could hear.

She coiled her head back at my sudden statement and her nostrils flared. "That doesn't matter," she said.

"What matters is for you to know that nothing is going to change. | promise."

I stepped back from her and began walking away. "Whatever Celia."

"Will we see you at lunch?" she asked.

"Probably not," I replied as I neared closer to the building.

"Okay." I could hear the sadness in her voice but | kept my stride.

"See you after school?" Marcus called out. "I'll give you a ride."

"Don't worry about it," I yelled back. "I'd rather take the bus."

I didn't think I was overreacting. Knowing them both, whatever relations they had was going to end badly. Celia longed for stability and security while Marcus was a go-with-the-flow type. I knew one of them would just end up getting hurt. When that happened, | would be forced to choose sides; and I couldn't do that.

I walked into the school and headed straight towards my locker. My feet dragged against the dull floor as my mind raced with thoughts.

I wasn't sure how today was going to end, but I knew it was going to be long.

Time seemed to slow throughout my classes. | avoided Celia at lunch and | didn't see Marcus at all.

I thought I would've forgiven and forgotten by the time lunch came around, but I was still upset.

I sat alone in a desolate area in our school's courtyard and ate my lunch quietly. Lost in my thoughts my ears perked up when | heard feet shuffling behind me.

"Look Celia, I don't want to talk-"

I trailed off when I looked up and saw Saint standing over me. His hands were stuffed in his pocket and his green eyes were dark.

"Oh, it's just you," I said.

He chuckled and sat down on the bench next to me. "Not happy to see me?"

I scoffed and my eyes met him for a split second. "Am | ever?"

"Why are you sitting here, | don't want to be seen with you." I sneered.

"Because you didn't talk to me in class. I just wanted to make sure we were still on for today." He said.

I took a bite of my food and chewed slowly. "Yeah, we are."

Saint stood up immediately from the bench and wiped his hands on his shirt. "Good. Meet me in my car after school."

With that, he walked away leaving me alone once more. | stabbed my food angrily before tossing the remains away.

The bell rang and what followed was an influx of students flooding the hall. 1 groaned and grabbed my backpack to get ready for my next class.

Today was going to be a long day. And it was.

The last and final bell rang throughout the building. I quickly put my books back into my backpack and pushed past a group of students to get to the hallway.

I walked quickly outside and scanned the parking lot for Saint's car. It wasn't hard to miss as it was parked in its usual spot with the other foreign vehicles.

Watching my back I made my way over. | checked over my shoulder a plethora of times to make sure that no one had noticed the direction | had taken.

Saint's car was high maintenance. It was matte black and had a red interior on the wheels. The windows were tinted black but They shined under the sun and glistened in pristine condition.

I walked over to the passenger side of the car and stood still.

"Do I just unlock it?" | mumbled.

] jumped when the car window rolled down. Inside was Saint, who had already been seated. His hands gripped his steering wheel tightly and | could see his gold rings rub against the wheel.

"Why are you still standing there?" He asked harshly. "Door's unlocked. Get the fuck in."

I wasted no time and pulled the door handle open. I slid in easily to the car and fell back hard against the seat when | realized it was reclined far back.

"Sorry about that," he said.

Saint reached over my body to the side of my door and pressed a button. My seat began to rise and stopped when it was congruent to his.

"Why was the seat so far back?" | asked while! pulled my backpack off my lap and placed it on the floor.

He smirked at me before turning his gaze towards the steering wheel.

"Use your brain for that one." He said. "I don't have a lot of girls in my car unless..."

He trailed off and stuck his key into the ignition. He placed his arm on the back of my seat and turned his head to begin backing out of the parking lot.

I sat quietly in my seat while Saint drove off the lot effortlessly.

The interior of his car was just as nice as it was outside. There were many buttons that | didn't even recognize. The dashboard was entirely touchscreen and had a sleek interface.

| lifted my head to see his face, and it was stoic. He kept his eyes entirely on the road.

Thoughts began to flood my mind at a rapid speed. Why did I even agree to this? Was he going to hold up his end of the bargain? How long was this going to take? What if my mom found out I wasn't really at Celia's place?

"Where's your house?"

A voice infiltrated my ear and pulled me away from my thoughts. | realized we had already left school] and had been driving away for quite some time now.

"Oh um," I looked at our surroundings to get acquainted with it. "It's just down this street then make a left when you see the small apartment complexes."

He nodded and headed towards the direction I had mentioned.

We got down the street very quickly and Saint made a sharp left. I could see my house a few feet away, and |

motioned an area for him to park.

He slowed down in my driveway and stopped the car, but did not turn off the ignition.

"Hurry up and get your stuff, I'll be waiting."

I rolled my eyes and unfastened my seat belt. | hopped out of the car and closed the door sharply.

| made it to my front door and fumbled with my keys. I unlocked the door and ran straight to my room.

I got the bag from the corner and was about to exit when | heard a faint voice.

"Luci?" My mom came into my doorway and gave me a puzzled look.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Celia's?"

I let out a faux cough and smiled brightly towards her. "Sorry | didn't know you were still home. | just came to get my stuff, I have to go now-"

| was cut off by the sound of a deep voice entering my house. | held my breath and my eyes widened in shock.

"Luci? We don't have all day come on!"Saint yelled. The thin walls of my house shook as his voice boomed all over. His steps became louder and louder as he approached my room quickly.

Time seemed to still as Saint and my mom made eye contact. He looked taken aback and quickly glanced at me in sorrow.

"Lucille," My mom began, "who is this?"

I stood still and refused to speak. My mouth opened but words refused to spill out.

"Hi!" Saint chirped. "I'm Saint Jones. It's nice to meet you, Ms Black."

His charm seemed to activate immediately as my mom's eyes lit up and shook his hand.

It was almost as if she was in a trance just by looking at him. Saint grinned at her as she stared.

"Hi! It's nice to meet you. Are you a friend of my daughter?"

"Something like that," he replied. "Are you going to Celia's as well," she questioned.

Saint nodded his head and grabbed the bag from my hands. "No, I'm not. Luci just needed a quick ride."

My mom gasped and placed a hand over her chest. "What a gentleman! Luci never brings boys over. | bet you have good grades as well."

Saint laughed and placed his hands in his pockets. "Yes | suppose | do."

"Are you any good at math?" she asked. "I would say so. It's one of my highest grades."

"That's perfect!" she exclaimed. "My Luci is terrible at math. Maybe you could tutor her?"

I quickly jumped in and shook my head, "] don't think that's a good idea-"

'Td love too!" Saint cut me off and grinned at me. | noticed a spark of deviance in his eyes.

"Great! After school then. You two can do it here."

Saint nodded and | groaned. I snatched my bag out of his hands and began to push his body out of my door frame.

"Mom we need to get going now."

She frowned and gave one last smile to Saint. "Alright, well don't be a stranger. You're always welcome here."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Saint's hand. | pulled him out of the house and we made our way to his car.

He yanked his hand from my grip and glared at me before going to the driver's side of the car. We both entered the car angrily and | slammed the door close.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked.

He turned his body to face me as he gripped the steering wheel.

"What do you mean? [ saved you back there."

"No, you should've just stayed in the car! Now my mom knows who you are." | yelled.

Saint's jaw clenched and his eyes darkened. | didn't care though, he was going to listen to what I had to say for once.

"And the tutoring part? You know she's going to hold you to that right? Why would you even agree to that? You're just making everything harder for me-"

All of a sudden Saint grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me towards him. He used his other hand to stroke my hair as he kept chilling eye contact.

"Are you trying to make me angry?" he whispered.

I didn't speak as I was focused on the pressure he placed on my shirt. With any more force, it was sure to rip open.

He played with my hair just lightly stroking and tucking some stray strands back in place.

"No," | whispered back.

"Then don't speak to me like that. Sit still and stop complaining about everything."

He released his grip on my shirt and focused his attention back on the wheel. I didn't know what came over me at that moment but I scoffed and said two words | knew I would regret.

"Make me."