the calm before the storm 3

I never replied to any of his texts. another week came by and my dad was still in the hospital and my friend called, I picked up and he asked what's wrong with me and that he has been worried sick cause he knows I won't just leave without informing him I told him about my dad and he said he will call me everyday to check up on me and that I should pick up his call so he wouldn't worry so much.

me staying at home made me realize those that I should hold important, my family. I realized all over again the reason why I shouldn't be in a relationship until I have achieved something for my family, I saw how they were struggling to pay for my dad's bills and provide for our up keep and then I looked at myself at the mirror and realized Everytime that I'm not worthy of this whole relationship thing my insecurities crept in again, how can I be happy when my family couldn't even smile, it's been one problem to another and they went through a lot to put me through school, what right do I have to be happy when they were not happy, I felt worthless and I didn't like this feeling.

I still receive calls and texts from Manuel and I decided to reply him.

"hi I'm sorry for all the missed calls and texts. I am sure you are worried but I'm fine I have gone back home and I had a little issue so I couldn't talk to you. I am really happy that I got to meet someone like you and you are an amazing person but me being home now made me realize that we can't be together we are miles away from each other and I don't think I can match up to that so please I hope you find someone better and I hope you can forgive me. thanks for all your time, moments and memories"

I decided to end things with him cause I was broken and he deserves someone better and with that I switched my phone off.