chapter sixty six
what did she hear? let me tell you
when she got there she walked on to hear a conversation between Nick and Fred
"don't you love Joan? Fred asked
"no I don't, I used to love her but now I don't all I have for her is hatred, she is not someone I can love, she plays with my emotions all the time, I can't love her no! I can't" Nick said but did he really meant it, even if he didn't he had said that and that's what Joan heard.
Joan left there with tears in her eyes and she was heartbroken.
Maybe if she could have waited longer she will have heard the real truth, maybe sometimes we shouldn't conclude on what he hear, let's not pick the part that hurt us the most or the part that gives us happiness, take time and listen to the two sides of the story,
what actually happened between Nick and Fred was;
"so what are you going to do now, are you going to tell Joan your feelings or what" Fred asked
"I don't know...I don't think I will, already my mom hates me because of this feelings and Joan has a boyfriend and besides I ruin our relationship because of this same feelings, it seems everything I love turns into ashes, that I can't get anything from" Nick said
"don't you love Joan? Fred asked
"no I don't, I used to love her but now I don't all I have for her is hatred, she is not someone I can love, she plays with my emotions all the time, I can't love her no! I can't" Nick said
"what are you saying?" Fred asked
"that's what I would like to say but you know I can't do that because I love her so much that I could die, if Joan was like how I said it, it would have been easier to not love her, or would it? I think I love Joan for her being Joan I love all her imperfections and perfections and it's really hard to not love her. Fred if Joan tells me she loves me, I think I wouldn't care about anything else and that will make me a bad son,... I don't know what I would do.... AA! " Nick said
"what if she loves you too" Fred asked
"what are you talking about"
"what if Joan loves you too, tell her" Fred said
"oh Fred I have told her many times but she didn't get it"
"huh?"
"when I was a kid, someone wrote Joan a love letter and I was scared to lose her so I told her something silly and she did it, that was the first time I told her I love her and since that moment I have told her countless times"
"that's why I love you, don't trust me if you knew what I want to do to you you wouldn't trust me" to Nick that was his love signs
"Maybe you should tell her openly, what if she thought you said it because you see her as just friends" Fred said
" you know Fred, I had always hoped Joan will fall in love with me, if she was the one to say she loves me to our parents I would have been brave to stand by her and tell them too of how much I love her also if she told them first my mom wouldn't be this angry I could have gotten the two most important thing in my life, if only Joan loves me"
"tell Joan, she loves you too, you have nothing to lose if you tell her"
"you are right? if she doesn't love me, our relationship is already messed up so I have nothing to lose"
that was what Nick said but will he be able to?