What should I do?

(Rorim's POV)

I arrived home exhausted. I ate, unpacked my bag, washed my dishes, all done on my normal autopilot.

"Gilbert?"

He must've been in the garden again. I dragged myself to my room by the time I was done cleaning. It was as if the same clouds in my head from this morning grew heavier. What's more is that when I tried to recall the events of the day, I remembered nothing but him. I only remembered Norman. Thought of Norman. My head is pouring with Norman.

I needed a bath.

Tired and bare, I went to my bathroom.

pitter patter pitter patter

The water in my tub was already warm when I checked. As soon as I plunged myself on the water, my muscles relaxed. Staring at the ceiling, I thought of a lot of things. Why was Norman here only now after so many years. What caused him to come back? Did they have something to do with this? What now? What should I do? I thought I had already accepted it. I was going to continue living (or dying) with that resolve. How am I supposed to feel now? And him? How is he now? How is he living? What kind of person is he now? What kind of family does he have? What has he become? I have been curious and concerned about him since our meet.

But I was also mad, which confused me even more. I remembered the memories of the past. The torture. The punishment. All because of him. I have gone through all of that over and over and he just lived his life unaware of me. Forgotten. Nonexistent even. He doesn't deserve my concern, my sympathy, my feelings. He has to pay. I have to come up with a plan. I have to finish it this time. I have to take my bo—

knock knock

"Ms. Hourglass?" Gilbert's voice coming from the doorway.

"I'm here. Thank you for heating the water Gilbert." I sat and looked at the door.

"Of course Miss." And there was an awkward silence.

"Anything the matter, Gilbert?" I asked him after a while.

"Uhmm… Can you come downstairs once you're finished, Miss?" His raspy voice was a bit embarrassed.

This is the first time he asked something like this. The old man must have been concerned with something more than gardening and looking out for me. "I will."

"Thank you Miss. Please continue your bath." And he left.

Whatever his concern must be dealt with immediately. I must organize my thoughts afterwards.

.........

I went down as soon as I finished showering. I had to fix my beaten face (from slapping myself the whole day whenever Norman slips into mind) to keep Gilbert from worrying if he ever saw it.

Gilbert was waiting from the dining table when I appeared. I stopped him before he allowed himself to stand and pull a chair for me, like usual. "Please begin." I permitted and sat.

He poised himself and cleared his throat. "Miss, I'd like to apologize first for bothering you with this greedy reque—"

My brows furrowed. "Why? Did someone ruin the garden? I know how much you love taking care of it. Tell me anything, we'll have it done."

"No, Miss. This doesn't concern the garden at all, but I appreciate your concern. This is about my nephew. Remember when I visited my hometown last month for my sister's funeral? She has a son. My good sister entrusted him to me." He took a glance at me and went back to the table. "He insisted on finishing his education there before coming here and vacation has recently just started for them. My request is, if Miss doesn't mind, that he would live here for a while? Until he finds a job, I swear I'll make sure you won't be disturbed. He can stay on my be—"

"You're free to do that Gilbert."

"Yes Miss, I'll absolutely do—" He blinked and looked me straight in the eyes. "Y-You allow it, Miss?"

I smiled and wrote invisible letters on the table. "I know how it feels to be the only member of the family left." I looked at the empty living room that was once filled with our laughter, of mine and Robin's, of Mom and Dad's. "If anything, you should prioritize him more instead of staying here with me."

"Miss—"

Waving my hand to him, I realized how that may have come off. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that. I meant I don't want to keep you both from being a family to each other. He can stay here for as long as he can. He can stay in Robin's old bedroom. This house is too spacious for two lanky, stick-of-a-people like us." He smiled in relief.

"I'll repay this kindness with my life, Miss."

I waved my hand in refusal as I stood up. "That's too much Gilbert. You already said that to dad, you don't have two lives."

"Well the kindest Sir has already passed so I guess it's back to one."

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "Hey there, just because you had a good relationship with my dad doesn't mean you can joke like that. That is amusingly correct but he's still my dad." I held my laugh and found him doing the same until we both cracked.

"I'll fetch him from the station tomorrow morning." He advised, composing himself.

"Be safe then, Gilbert." I bid as I walked away from the table. "I'm off to bed. Good night."

"Yes. Rest well, Miss."

As soon as I got in my room, I took my notebook and started writing my plot.

_____________________

Everyday after finding the Raven eggs, I climbed the tree after our learning sessions and stared at them. Gale would tell me off when I stayed there for the rest of the afternoons but she got tired eventually.

"Raven!" Ms. Hipher crowed, I almost mistook her for the roosters. "Get down from there, you'll fall!"

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

Why do people ask or state the obvious? Do they think announcing it will make things better? Of course I'll fall when I'm standing on higher ground. Of course I climbed the tree to get here. Of course the kid will cry when you tease it. I don't understand. All I knew was that I never really saw the egg's mother. Everyday as I watched from afar or observed up close I wondered where their mom might have been. Were they abandoned like the rest of us? Like me? I decided only then that I'll be their guardian until they hatch, or until their mom comes back for them. Birds are not like humans.

One morning, I woke up with an aching stomach that I couldn't get out of bed. I folded to the pain, my clothes and blanket soaked with my sweat yet I felt chill from shoulders to my toes. I didn't see Gale enter the room until I heard her speak.

"Raven, you need to drink medicine." Her hand checked my back and left.

"The eggs." I murmured under my hot breath.

"What?" She asked and returned to her seat next to me, taking my clothes off to change.

"E-"

"E?"

"Eggs." I exhaled as she eased fresh clothes onto me.

"Eggs? Are those what you've been climbing the tree for?"

I can only nod. I needed to get better. They might be in danger.

"You can't go there, you're sick." Again with the obvious.

I shuddered and groaned, my pain only getting worse by the minute.

"Maybe if you can drink your medicine, you'll feel well by the afternoon. You can only climb when you're better." I know.

I sat with all my strength. Gale poured the syrup on the spoon and inched it close to my lips.

"Blegh!" I don't like medicine now.

"Water will flush the taste." She held out the water to me.

I drank but the taste was still there. I hated the medicine. I hated that I was sick. I hated most that I might not see them later. I have to guard them.

"You can go back to sleep now, if you can." Gale offered, grabbing my sweat-drenched clothes and the syrup bottle and left the room.

The pain was still unbearable but I managed to sleep. And in my sleep, I had a dream.

In my dream, I was small, as small as the seven eggs in the nest. Maybe even the smallest. The eggs were each different from the other, from size to patterns, and I can only see them clearer now. I could touch them and they felt warm. I hummed the melody I always hummed around them. And just as I was about to end, a black bird flew closer to our nest. Realizing how big the eggs became, I panicked. I couldn't hold every egg and carry them to safety. I tried to carry one that was closest to me, thinking that they'd be as light as I imagined them to be. I was mistaken, my panic worsening. Dread slowly crept from my feet as the bird landed on the branch we rested on. It shrieked and I shouted. The bird peered at us from above and poked the eggs with its beak. I wanted to shoo it away but I was just as small as them, the bird could easily swallow me whole if it would. I cried as I hugged the egg closest to me with all my life. The bird started taking the eggs with its beak, one after another, until the only egg that remained was one that I held. The tighter I held, the more and louder I cried, hoping that it scared the bird away.

But no. When I looked up, its beak opened up inching closer to me and my egg.

Then I woke up.

I sat up, and slowly, it registered in me that it was just a dream. I felt real fear for a second, then replaced with relief that I was well. My stomach didn't hurt anymore. My clothes were soaked, both my shirt and shorts. The air suddenly smelled salty, like pee. Then I realized it was me. I peed my bed. I was feeling so many things, all at once. I was all the more confused when I saw Norman sleeping at the edge of my bed, his butt sitting on a chair and his head resting on my foam with his arms hanging inches from the floor. Next to his head was a box. I crawled closer to the box and saw a nest with eggs. My nest. My eggs. I counted the eggs and felt relieved to find all seven. But then I was mad again. They shouldn't be here. They should be in the tree. This is not their habitat. What if their mom flies back? They should have stayed in the tree. I should return them.

I smelled the foul odor again. I have to change.

But they should be back there.

I shook Norman until he woke up. He squinted his eyes until he finally realized what he was seeing.

"Why did you take them out of the tree?"

He looked at the box and it registered in him. "I had to. I—" He stood up.

"This isn't their home. They should be in the tree. You have to return them." I demanded, getting more annoyed at him.

"But the—-"

"Return them!"

He shook his head. "I won't."

I fumed. "Then I will." I was about to take the box before he blocked my way.

"You shouldn't."

"This isn't their home."

"It's not safe." He looked at the door as if checking on someone.

I remembered my dream. It may not be safe but what about their mom?

"Don't return it." He insisted.

Even though he was right, I was still mad. "Get out."

He frowned and looked at the box. "Are you gonna return it?"

"Get out!"

He inhaled and rushed to the door. He stopped for a second and then left.

I sat on my bed and drank water. I went to the cabinet and pulled out a pair of clothes and underwear.

I needed a bath.

"Raven?"

I turned and saw Gale on the door.

"I'm better now."

She handed me a towel and went to my bed. "I can see that. Where's Norman?"

"Out."

"He waited for you to wake up. He wanted to make sure the eggs were safe with you." She said as she took off my bed sheet.

"I told him to return it but he said he didn't want to."

She turned to me. "He didn't tell you?"

I furrowed my brows and shook my head slowly.

"He said he took it from the tree after learning session because he overheard the kids planning to destroy the nest. He was trying to save it."

What?

"You should apologize to him. He was only being good." She folded the sheet and carried it. "Apologize to him after you bathe. You smell like pee." She giggled and left.

I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. I checked the eggs again and hid the box under my bed, hoping that the other kids wouldn't find it.

I ran to the bathroom. While I bathed, I thought of ways to apologize. In learning sessions, Ms. Hipher taught us to apologize when we made mistakes.

'Apologizing makes you a good person', she said.

She never said that apologizing was embarrassing and hard to do. Being a good person must be hard.