Stuck

It's been a few days since your father's murder and you still couldn't get over the fact that the police think you had some type of involvement. It was rancid, how could they even think that way? The house felt cold inside as you walked around. Jarah has been hanging around in the home while Ethan was away but left you alone for the most part. Well that was until now.

"What are you doing?" Jarah asked as he poked his head into the kitchen.

"I'm making chocolate cake..." You had put the batter into the oven long ago and where currently working of the moose frosting, to cut back on how heavy the sweetness of the frosting would be. But what you said was a half lie, you knew why you where making it.

"When will it be done?" Jarah walked out of the doorframe and into the kitchen now as he looked around. The organized counters made part of him reminisce about his childhood.

"In an hour or two. The cake has to cool before I put the frosting on." You tediously mixed together the chocolate pudding in with the whipped cream leaving Jarah to look at you a bit puzzled.

"Why not use powdered sugar to make frosting?" Now he was close to sticking his finger into the frosting you were mixing. Yet before he could infect it with a disease you smacked his hand away, not even thinking twice about what you just did. You didn't say anything and Jarah had to take a moment to realize what just happened. "Hey!"

Jarah knocked the back of your head in retaliation while you in turn stepped on his foot. "Don't ruin the cake making process!" You shouted as you turned around catching Jarah off guard. For all that he's known you, or well, watching you, you haven't been the confrontational sort. You eyes for once carried a fire in them, an active unmistakable fire. You poked at his chest while staring him down while sadness and anger rolled off in waves.

"I don't care if you wanna beat me up but do not ruin this cake for me!" Then your eyes narrowed as you caused Jarah to take a couple of steps back. "Or else I can't promise all your fingers will be on your hand."

You then quickly turned around and continued baking as if nothing happened, except for the noticable irritation filling the air. Jarah was shocked for a moment before getting annoyed again.

"Did you just threaten me!?"

"I don't know, did I?" You where genuinely asking as your mind couldn't even remember the words you just said as you where too occupied with the cake to care for remembering. Jarah watched you quietly as you continued to work in the kitchen and ignore him completely.

He couldn't believe it.

He waited for a time for you to even notice if he was still there but you didn't even look his way. But the thing was any anger he once had slowly dwindled as he started to watch you in the view of you being a cute cat that had just scratched him. Now he had completely fixated on you and the cake that you where making.

The cake was eventually pulled from the oven and left out to cool as you started to cut off the pieces that had gotten to high. After they cooled enough you took the cake and put it in the fridge to cool faster while the moose went inside there as well, sitting next to the left over whipped cream. Now you where working on something else as you waited, the soft chocolate pieces that would go on top. Melting the molding chocolate seemed like forever before you poured it thinly onto some plastic ziplock bag that you've cut. The pieces cooled into disks well enough to be swapped out with the cakes place in the fridge. You took out a large plate from the cabinet while taking out the chocolate moose from the fridge. It was all coming together as you frosted the in-between layers and covered the cakes in frosting. Setting the bowl aside you left for the fridge again to pull out the left over whipped cream.

Jarah took this chance to steal the bowl of moose before you gotten back and started filling the piping bag with whipped cream. You didn't notice the bowls sudden disappearance as you topped the cake with tuffs of white. Jarah started to lick the bowl clean as he watched you and the serious face you had while the whole process came and went. You pulled out the final touch from the refrigerator. You place the disks carefully in-between the white tuffs before letting out a content sigh as you backed away to take a look. It was finally done and over with.

"Are you done now?"

Jarah asked as he appeared behind you. Annoyance was plastered on his face while he looked at you but as soon as his eyes landed on the cake they softened. "Is it your birthday or something?"

"No it's not." Anxiety filled you as you looked at the clock on the wall as it slowly neared the familiar time. "Today is probably one of the worst days in existence." Your tone sounded light but the grimace on your face made it clear that you where more than serious.

The dismal evening swallowed the daylight that poured through the kitchen window causing you to flicker on the buzzing yellow light that glowed from the ceiling. The ticking of the clock haunted your ears as they hit the hour mark. It was time. You took the cake and moved it to a well it up spot in the kitchen. You then pulled out plates and utensils, setting them down neatly before you cut a slice of the cake. You placed it onto the best looking dish and setting it aside before cutting two more. The first slice was placed down across from the seat next to you as you gave a different Jarah a slice of the cake to Jarah. The last piece was reserved for yourself. As Jarah took eager bites one after another from the heavenly cake you couldn't help but barely give yours any attention as your focus was mostly spent on the untouched slice.

You instead closed your eyes and started thinking of your brother. Nate loved the chocolate cake you would make with mom back in the days she worked more so from home than away. It didn't take long however for those simple warming moments to face into nothing but heart wrenching memories. Then you thought about that run away. He left you alone in that house and broke that promise about always being there to protect you. It was stupid to believe he would stay, to believe he loved you. Everyone leaves eventually you knew that and you guess he knew that as well.

But that asshole didn't even have the nerve to say goodbye.

Maybe it was a good thing, after all you two where growing distant after that argument a few months back about 'chosing your friends over him'.

'What a bitch.'

You opened your eyes with that thought as though he was right there with you for a moment and startling you.

"Hey...y/n. What's with the cake?"

Ethan asked as he walked away from the closed door he had slammed shut. His uniform was dirtied and his face looked like it was beaten in while rage seemed to simmer down in his eyes.

"What the hell happened to you?"

You shouted as you pushed yourself out of your seat and went to check up on him. He winced as you tried touching one of his injuries.

"I know I'm too good looking, but I didn't expect yah to have trouble keeping your hands off me." Ethan cooed while you glared at him.

"Nows not the time."

"You don't think?" He smiled as you self to get a damp rag to clean him up. It was a back and forth between the two of you before he conceded in your attempt to help. You ran your fingers across his face gently as you cleaned and applied ointment onto his face while Jarah started feeling sick.

"I'm eating here. Do that shit somewhere else."

"Just eat your cake." You grumbled while Ethan laughed, stealing a bite from your untouched cake slice.

"Hmm, not bad. You could almost take my job at the cafe away from me."

Your lips curved into their best smile they could make but you couldn't say anything back. At this moment you where holding back a choking sob and you don't know what caused it to come about. There where lots of things to cry about but not one of them compared to today's emotional date.

"I wouldn't want to do that." You barely chuckled while looking at the cake you made once more. Your lips pressed into a thin line as your eyes flicked down to the table in front of you.

The boys seem to notice this sudden entry into a heavy silence and both eyed you curiously. Ethan and Jarah seemed to recognize the look in your eyes as they remained down cased and lost in thought.

Eventually the remains of the cake where cleaned up and stored in the fridge while you excused yourself for bed. It wasn't until you closed the bedroom door behind you did tears start to roll down you cheeks. You approached the window, looking through the bars and to the light polluted night. Curling yourself into a ball you rested your head against the wall and started to fall into your suppressed thoughts of grief.

'I should have done better to help you Nate. I'm sorry.'

"I hope you are happy wherever you are," a weak smile curved your lips. "Did you see the cake I made? My... friends thought it was good but...it means more to me when you say it." Your now staring at the wall eyes slowly staring off into space as time passes you by.

"I miss you you know, it's not the same with you gone." A hallow nest settled in the cavity of your chest. "Sometimes I feel like your actually here when I talk to myself, does that mean you miss me to?" You laughed at that and whipped at your eyes. "I feel like I'm crazy. Dad's gone now too and Mom's not here. He's...Zane-" you could finish your sentence. "It's really all my fault isn't it? That's why I'm alone right now, no wonder..."

You cried after that. Crying yourself to sleep and having only yourself for comfort. Little did you know Ethan was on the otherside listening with a pained heart. He sat there and waited the whole night, mulling over what would be the best outcome for you and him.