Chapter 7

Rai pulled away then moved to Kota's back and hugged him from behind. He gently pushed him towards the sink. Kota raised his head and gazed into the mirror. He immediately frowned. He hated how he looked. Sickly. Eyes red and empty. Lips pale.

He gazed at the person behind him. Rai's eyes were on him and what shocked him was the fact that Rai wasn't staring at him like he was disgusting. Instead, his eyes were soft. Like he was looking at something he loved or admired.

'Nonsense' Kota thought. Rai was just helping him because he's Kyo's brother and he's kind-hearted. Nothing else. The guy couldn't possibly like him. Not after the way he had been treating him since they met.

Strong hands stretched out and turned on the tap. Water gushed onto white cupped palms. Rai raised his water-filled hand to Kota's lips. Kota parted them and took in the water. He swished it around in his mouth and spat it out. They did this three more times then Rai grabbed a bottle of mouthwash. He poured it into the bottle cap and gave it to Kota. Kota opened his mouth instead and Rai poured it in.

Kota raised back his head and gargled then poured it out. Rai then proceeded to wash Kota's face. They did all these in comfortable silence.

Kota was watching Rai's face all through. The boy was beautiful. Really really beautiful and kind. Anytime those shiny dark orbs met his, he would feel his heartbeat quicken and breath hitch. He had the cutest nose and long soft looking hair. Dark as night. We wondered how they would feel on his fingers.

Damn.

This was the exact reason he didn't like seeing Rai. He made him feel things he didn't want to feel. Things that only lead to heartbreak and disappointments.

He suddenly felt himself being lifted. Rai carried him bridal style and walked out of the room. He wondered where he was being taken but didn't ask. For some reason unknown to him, he trusted Rai. He just felt like nothing bad would happen to him as long as Rai was there. Soon, they were in Rai's room and Rai laid him on the bed. He then went to get some clean clothes from his closet and helped Kota get in them.

Rai's scent enveloped him. From the clothes, the bed sheets, the pillows, the blankets. Everything. And it gave him a sense of peace and calmness. Like it kept whispering, everything will be okay.

"I'll go make you something to eat now," Rai said but Kota held his hand before he could leave. He wanted to apologize and Rai knew it so he quickly spoke;

"Is there anything you want in particular?" He was trying not to squeal in pure joy when Kota willingly held him. Even though it wasn't for what he deeply wanted, he was happy nonetheless.

Kota thought for a while, nodded and let go. "Ramen".

Rai smiled and it was dazzling. "Okay!" Kota felt his heart skip a beat.

Rai raced to the kitchen, not minding the mess in the living room. He figured he'd clean it up after Kota ate and slept. He was practically bouncing with joy. Kota touched him. He touched Kota too! But then, the happiness fizzled away when he suddenly recalled the way he was heavily heaving on the bathroom floor. His heart ached for him. At that moment, Rai felt immense hatred for whoever had made him this way. He vowed to teach the person a good lesson if he ever finds out. He just hoped he'd get to that stage and further with Kota.

He quickly made some ramen with small slices of beef. He placed it with a set of chopsticks on a tray and a glass of chilled water.

Kota was still awake, flipping through the pages of a book he found on Rai's nightstand. He was happy to see Kota back so quickly but he never showed it. His face was blank as a white sheet of paper. Completely unreadable.

"How do you feel?" Rai asked. His voice was soft and Kota found that he liked it. Why hadn't he ever noticed before? Oh yeah. He was busy wallowing in his vomit and misery.

"Less shitty" he replied which earned him a chuckle from Rai. He found that liked it too.

Rai placed the tray where the book used to be and held out the bowl of ramen to Kota. Kota kept the book by his side and accepted the bowl, muttering a small thanks. It only made Rai smile.

Kota felt something rare. Joy. An emotion that had long left him. He had seen so many sides of the guy in just one night. So many good sides. But isn't that how they all are at the beginning?

Innocent looking, kind, cute.

Rai handed him the chopsticks and let him eat.

"If you need anything, I'll be downstairs," he said, walking towards the door.

"Doing what?" Kota asked. He wanted Rai to stay. As much as he knew what was going to happen if he let himself get close, he still wanted him to stay. He found that he wanted to... talk.

"Cleaning up" Rai replied then left, closing the door gently.

Kota sighed. So much for talking. He felt so stupid. Breaking a bottle of wine in the living room and leaving his guest to clean it up. So irresponsible. But one wouldn't call Rai a guest. He was always around. Sometimes, he even spent the weekends when he has nothing to do. Kota and Rai barely spoke because the former never leaves his room. If he does, it's to get more alcohol and when Rai tries to initiate a conversation, he'd either ignore him or yell mean things at him. It puzzled him how Rai hasn't given up already.

He also hoped the wine didn't stain Kyo's expensive rug. He'd never hear the end of it.