Chapter 30

Sasuke had me climb onto his back once we were outside so that he could shield me from any onlookers' view, and then the three of us walked swiftly and silently through the alleyways of Kakurega village.

The Uchiha prince's familiar scent brought a comfort I desperately needed after being stabbed through the heart and nearly dying, so I frowned as I basked in it. He hasn't said a word since Madara and I showed up, covered in blood and exhausted.

I know he's beyond pissed, but for some reason, he hasn't lost his temper and yelled at me yet. Instead, he's robotically traveling at his uncle's side with an aura of stoicism. With each step the Uchiha men made, the air around us became tenser, and I'm not eager to find out what will happen once we're no longer surrounded by potential danger.

Before being told to leave by Tsunade and Jiraiya, I was nearly dead on my feet, but now I'm wide awake and wishing Sasuke would go off on me because his being silent is somehow scarier.

The hour to the outskirts of the village was relatively uneventful, and then I was placed on my feet. The three of us traveled into the desert, braving the biting cold of the desert night's breeze. Maybe two hours of uncomfortable travel later, we came upon a small, dry cave.

Sasuke grabbed my wrist and pulled me more firmly along until we reached the back wall of the natural shelter when he all but shoved me forward. Tears welled in my eyes before I could even straighten my spine and turn because I knew the time had come to face the backlash of my choice to leave Suna alone. As I expected, when I faced them, both men glared at me with unfiltered ire.

Sasuke's voice was laced with a threat that I'd better be honest and docile for the moment, "Why are you always ready to put yourself in danger?"

I wiped my slowly falling tears with one hand but refused to stand there without trying to explain myself, "Sasuke, you saw what happened to those people! Everyone around me is going to be in danger until I kill Nagato and Yahiko."

Madara's fists clenched at his sides, and his jaw flexed, but Sasuke stepped toward me, "Running off alone and almost getting yourself killed isn't helping anyone, Sakura!"

My eyes widened as he raised his voice at me for the first time in a very long time. For most of our life together, it's been us against whatever the opposition is at the time. Now, I'm the opposition, and I know it. This rocky feeling he's emitting is all my fault.

"What the hell were you thinking? Are you an idiot?"

My anger bubbled up at his unfiltered way of questioning me because it was both insulting and much too emotional for what I'd come to expect from him. We haven't fought like this since the night we first kissed.

"Why don't you trust me, Sasuke? I'm not a helpless little girl anymore!"

Dark eyes narrowed further, and he took another step toward me, stopping barely an arm's length away, "I know that. What I don't know is how you could leave me behind!"

Like that, every ounce of my rage melted into desperation and hurt because he completely misunderstood my actions. I can tell I hurt him, leaving as I did. In his eyes, I did it because I didn't want him and Madara around, but that's simply not the truth.

"S-Sasuke, I-" "No, Sakura."

As quickly as my anger had melted, did his reinvigorate with a vengeance, and suddenly his hands circled my upper arms as his eyes glowed down at me. Madara finally moved, standing closer in case he needed to step in.

"You don't understand-" "No! I don't! When did you turn into someone that's comfortable sneaking around and lying?"

My voice cracked as I pressed against his chest and continued trying to explain, "I'm not! That's not me! Listen, I-" "He's right."

Sasuke and I both turned to look at Madara, who frowned, "I never expected something like this from you. Is it because of me? Are you willing to leave even Sasuke to escape me?"

A knot formed in my chest and tightened painfully as my tears became heavier, and I shook my head, "T-that's not-"

The prince released my arms and took a step back, eyes falling back to their usual dark color, "That's it, isn't it?" It was his turn to lose his rage, and an unbelievably genuine expression of hurt met his features, his voice softening in disbelief, "Sakura…I thought-"

Finally, I lost my composure after being interrupted so many times in a row. My hands balled into fists at my sides, and I squeezed my eyes closed as I yelled, "Enough! It's because I don't want to lose you!" Madara didn't seem surprised, so I made sure he understood clearly, "And fuck you, but that means you, too, asshole!"

The Uchiha men remained silent for the first time in many minutes.

I slowly opened my eyes, voice cracking and wavering heavily as I fell to pieces before them, "The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, but I'd rather you live on hating me than die because I was too selfish to do what's right! I don't even know why I'm traveling with you now. We could be attacked any minute, and it'd be all my fault!"

Madara reached forward with one hand, a warning look on his face, "Sakura…."

I realized then that my eyes were burning, and the heightened stress had caused me to revert to my previous habit of relying on negative emotions to fuel my energy. It crackled wildly under my skin, but I yelled again, "Just stop, okay?"

They stared wide-eyed at me, and I looked between them for a few moments before lowering my voice, "I-I know you're both upset, and I know what I did scared you, but please try and understand that I did it because I care more about your safety than anything else."

Sasuke stepped forward after many silent and tense moments, taking my hands into his much more gently than how he'd grabbed my arms minutes ago, and I let him as I choked out, "Please understand."

Some anger lingered in his beautiful eyes, but he spoke more calmly than before, "You need to understand something, too."

Madara added, the hurt expression he'd offered earlier in the night still heavy on his features, "We're not going to sit back and let you do it all alone."

Sasuke continued for him, "We'll hunt them together."

~

Once the emotions simmered down, we took a moment to breathe before getting back on the course of Sunagakure. The plan is to get some reinforcements and devise some sort of trap to lure Nagato out. It'll be easier to kill him if we don't wait for him to return to Amegakure.

"You've mastered your powers, then?"

I shook my head at Sasuke's soft inquiry, tired eyes trained ahead, "I can control them much better than before, but it'll probably take years to master them fully."

"What happened between you and Jiraiya?"

My gaze fell sadly to the sand, and I shrugged, "I don't know. All of us were getting along great until they met you two." Curious, I asked, "Do you know them or something? They didn't seem to like you." Both Uchiha men made sounds that meant "no", and I sighed defeatedly.

Many minutes passed before I suddenly realized Sasuke and Madara weren't shooting one another glares or outright arguing like usual. Feeling like it may still be unstable ground, I hesitantly mumbled, "When did you two start getting along so well?"

They glanced at one another before I felt Sasuke's hand slide into mine. Madara's voice was forced as though he wasn't entirely comfortable with the topic, "I think we realized in your absence that we're similar." I gave the older Uchiha man a quizzical look, and he frowned, eyes turning forward.

Sasuke spoke quietly, his tone unfamiliar, "If I have to share this bond with anyone, at least it's someone I know will protect you with his life." My neck turned sharply so I could meet his gaze with wide eyes. He hardened his gaze and curtly nodded, "I believe we can make this work."

The three of us already came to that rocky conclusion the night I fled Suna, but his resolve was less shaky this time.

I turned to give Madara an intense search over, "What happened? Don't you dare lie to me again."

Obviously, something occurred while we were apart because there's not even an ounce of animosity between them when it used to be impossible for them to be within reach of one another.

"He didn't leave me to die when the chance arose," Sasuke admitted in that same, unfamiliar tone.

My fingers tightened around Sasuke's hand, and Madara added in a mildly irritated tone, "She'd never forgive me if I did." The two shared a glance before returning to how they were before.

Tears welled in my eyes, and I bashfully reached over to grab Madara's hand so I was holding one of each of theirs. I sensed him glance at me but ignored it and smiled softly at the sand, "Thank you."

Rather than verbally respond, he simply squeezed back.

Something's changed between him and me, as well. Maybe it was his uncharacteristic way of confessing to me in Suna the night I ran away, or perhaps it's the way he acted when rescuing me from Hidan out in the desert. In both instances, Madara offered a sincere desperation that wasn't there in the past.

Sure, he's swooped in and helped me a few times after that first trip to Amegakure, when we searched for leads on Orochimaru's whereabouts. Obviously, he genuinely cared if I lived or died, too, but it wasn't to this degree. Back then, Madara primarily cared about self-preservation and self-fulfillment. He wanted me alive because he liked having me around. Nothing about his previous rescues was for my sake, only his.

It's different now. I want to say it's all because of the bond his being my master has created, but I'd only be lying to myself.

He was like this when he, Ino, and I were captives of Sonukuni. Perhaps he wasn't as open about it, but he'd begun to be honest with me enough by that point that I could see it all over his face. Especially when I woke up after fighting with Hidan, my clothes torn and dried blood all over me.

I turned my head to meet Sasuke's eye, and he offered a subtle look of confirmation, telling me in his unique way that he knew what I was thinking about and that it was okay.

He was talking about this when I asked him to tell me what he honestly wanted to do. It's harder for me because I've been a human my entire life. Otherworldly, uncontrollable things like the bonds between masters and their fledglings, blood, and vampire culture in general are and have always been a part of their lives because they were born into it.

The fact that Sasuke shielded me from it all for so long and offered an insane amount of patience when he no longer could only made me fall for him that much more. I'm so in love with this vampire, with this man.

When I reminisce about the time before I was turned, he seemed so much more closed off and cautious that it almost threatened to hurt my feelings. I won't let it, though, because he did all of it for my sake, whether or not I agree with his methods.

This Sasuke, the one that just let me see his genuine concern about my abandonment of him and the one that no longer shies away from allowing others to witness our affection for one another, I prefer him. The Sasuke from before was amazing. There's a reason I fell for him so deeply, but I didn't know how much more he had to offer.

Our connection is so much more than it was. No longer does it seem like we're two separate people from very different ends of an economic spectrum. Instead, it feels like we're two halves of one whole who simply had to wait until the time was right to be brought together.

As that thought crossed my mind, I could only think about Ino and Sai. After we were rescued from Otogakure, my sister spent a lot of time with me while I was mending my broken wrist and ankle. Something she said to me about her feelings for her husband has stuck with me ever since.

"It's like I was asleep all this time." Ino compared her human life to not being an actual life at all because when she looked back, it meant less than nothing. After all, Sai didn't exist there.

As cheesy as it sounds, I want to ask the two silent Uchiha men whose hands I hold if they think soulmates exist, but I won't. At least, not right now. I don't want to ruin the calm and comfortable aura that's come over us.

Maybe that's what this bond is, in the end. Perhaps the idea of soulmates being selected at birth has been incorrect all along, and you can choose them, or they can choose you. No one has spoken about the concept of one's soul since I first met the Uchihas, the three of ours have undoubtedly been connected and intertwined due to the bond. Now that I've given up on fighting it and have begun the process of embracing it, everything feels natural, as though it's been concocted and decreed by God himself.

I glanced at Madara, then, and a warm feeling came to my chest that I never had before. I'm not in love with him, not like I am with Sasuke. No one will ever take Sasuke's place. I said it when I was human, and I'll continue to say it for however long my life ends up being. It's the truth, too. This emotion, though, still has incredible strength.

How is this fair? That's been my problem with the bond this entire time. At first, I only cared about Sasuke's feelings, but now I've come to worry about Madara, too.

Back at Sunagakure castle, he said something so surprising in a gutwrenchingly honest voice: "I don't care if the largest part of your heart belongs to him anymore. I just want a piece of it, too!"

How did this terrifying being who rules the Uchiha family from the shadows, who has all the pride and greed of a demon from hell, turn into someone satisfied with not only sharing attention but coming second to another?

Madara, who used to toy with my life for the fun of it, has evolved into someone almost unrecognizable right before my eyes. It didn't happen overnight, and he often lets his inflated ego get the best of him, but he's not the same man that forcefully stole my first kiss and was delighted to witness my terror and disgust. Simultaneously, it feels like I've reduced his strength and empowered him by encouraging the development of empathy and humility.

And Sasuke….

He's an undeniably jealous and possessive man, a fact that I love despite knowing I shouldn't. The prince has shown time after time that he won't allow anyone to infringe on what he sees as his position in my life.

When he first met Naruto, we weren't even friends, and he all but threatened the blonde man to know his place. Hell, Sasuke even fought the king of Sunagakure, Gaara, when he realized he had almost killed me. War nearly started because of that! Then, he all but tried to murder Sasori when the redhead drank my blood after I'd been turned, and we didn't know of the side effects yet, so we weren't aware his sudden obsession wasn't genuine or intentional.

Now, though, he seems to have made an exception for Madara.

How is this not considered selfish of me? I didn't ask for this. I never demanded Sasuke share me with another, but that's the situation we're in, and he even said he wants to try to make it work. So, I let him decide for us both, but I can't help but feel guilty because he didn't want things to end up like this just as much as me. Sasuke wanted to be my sole master, and so did I. It's too late to change things. We have to do our best with what we have.

He was right about something, though. Madara would've been the last person I wished to be bonded with in the past, but since he's made some changes for our sake, I can take solace in the fact that he's going to protect me with all he has.

If his feelings weren't genuine, he wouldn't have looked Sasuke in the eye and vowed to behave. He wouldn't have obeyed his request to say he understands I'll never be his. Past Madara would've gone on a rampage before doing such demeaning things.

As I looked between the two Uchiha men covertly, I frowned. At some point, a conversation needs to be had about the finer details of our arrangement.

What's okay?

What are the gray areas?

And what lines are never to be crossed?