Chapter 34

At some point in the middle of the night, I regained consciousness. Rather than feel surrounded by warmth like I always do, goosebumps were dusting my skin. When I ventured to open my eyes, I realized why. Sasuke still hadn't returned.

Curling into a ball under the thick blankets, I closed my eyes again and frowned, "What time is it?"

As expected, Madara's voice came from behind me, where he was likely lounging on the other bed, "A few hours before sunrise. Get some more rest while you can, my dear." He didn't accompany me to this room because he wanted to spend time with me. No, Sasuke sent him to babysit and ensure I don't run off again.

"Where is he?" Something feels off. Sasuke hasn't disappeared without explaining since the night Sai accidentally attacked me so many months ago.

"He asked me to watch you while he runs some errands. How should I know what he's doing? I don't care, so I didn't ask."

My eyes crept open slowly because his response left a bad taste on my tongue, "...Madara…."

There was a long pause, "Yes, my goddess?"

Irritated warmth threatened to rise to my face as he picked up Kankuro's unwelcome nickname for me, but I ignored it for the moment, "You're not lying, right?"

The Uchiha vampire didn't make a sound for so long that I had to roll over to ensure he was still there. He was on his side, dark eyes focused on me. When they locked with mine, he seemed to realize he hadn't replied and shook his head. It didn't feel right, still.

"Do you promise?"

Another long pause, "I promise. Now go to sleep."

As I stared at his face, searching for signs of deceit, I wondered if I should trust him. As of late, he's been honest even if it makes the situation uncomfortable, so I'm inclined to believe him. There's still this lingering feeling of unease, though.

"Are you cold?"

I blinked when his quiet question pulled me from my train of thought, blushing, "I'm fine."

Madara mused in a less serious tone, tension leaving his features, "Sunagakure doesn't bother with heating their castle because no one inside spends their nights alone."

I rolled my eyes before closing them, hugging a pillow to my stomach, and focusing on masking my slight shivering so he wouldn't notice.

"You're undoubtedly aware, but I'll happily aid in keeping you warm."

Shaking my head, I mumbled, "I said I'm fine."

Madara sighed in defeat, and then the room fell into silence again. That surprised me. Even after his massive personality change, he's a stubborn and unrelenting man, yet here he is, taking no for an answer.

My fingers squeezed the soft pillow between my arms, and I gritted my teeth as I inwardly argued with myself. If Sasuke were here, I wouldn't think twice about accepting Madara's offer because the prince would ensure his uncle didn't step out of line. The vampire before me wouldn't test his nephew, either, because he knows it'll make me more angry than if he tests me instead. Sure, I've learned to control my powers, for the most part, but being glowed to calm down has been a gamble, only working half of the time.

I couldn't help but open my eyes again, and I didn't look away this time when Madara's gaze locked onto them.

I swore to Sasuke and Madara to do everything possible to give this situation my best efforts. The latter knows my first instinct in his presence is fearful fighting, freezing, or fleeing, and neither of us needs to say a word out loud to understand one another's feelings about it. It hurts him every time I cringe or freeze up, but he still feels guilty for all the terrifying and awful things he's done, and rightfully so; he won't pester me to get over it.

I don't know how long it'll take to outgrow my fear, but I want to as quickly as possible so we can move on. I already told him I'm attempting to give him one last chance, meaning if he gets his act together and continues on the path to redeeming himself, I'll do my best to forgive and forget.

With that thought in mind, I frowned as I got to my feet and stood before him with a red face, "Don't try anything funny."

Madara seemed genuinely surprised but shook his head and pulled the covers back so I could climb in beside him. Facing him seemed too personal, too intimate, so I turned my back to him and pouted as I tried to get the heat in my face to cool.

Many minutes passed. So many, in fact that I'd successfully calmed down and was well on my way to falling asleep again when Madara suddenly whispered, "Did you really go through Deidara's memories?" He was lying behind me, but we weren't touching. I only came over to his bed to greedily use him for his warmth and nothing else, a fact of which he's well aware.

A sound of confirmation rumbled through my chest, me being barely half-awake.

"What's it like?"

My brow furrowed, and I blinked sleepily. It's rare for him to openly come off so curious because he likes to be perceived as all-knowing and godly. Regardless of his reasoning, I responded softly, "I could see what he saw and feel the emotions he felt, but that's it."

A couple of minutes passed in silence, and I began falling asleep again, only for him to stir me once more, "You can show me, too." It wasn't a question but a statement, and it worked wonders to wake me more thoroughly than before. There wasn't a doubt about what he was demanding.

Hesitantly, I asked, "Why would you want that?"

Madara doesn't like feeling guilty, and I'm trying to convince myself I don't want him to anymore. Showing him any of the awful things he's done from my point of view will only reinvigorate his self-loathing.

"Consider it an act of penance."

I rolled over, breath catching within my throat when I realized he was close enough to nearly touch me. "Nothing productive will come of it."

He frowned, searching my face, "Please just do it."

My eyes widened in shock. He has never, not once, used the word "please" in my presence, directed at me or not. Brow furrowed, I lifted my hand to his forehead, pressing his hair out of the way, "I still think this is a bad idea." A resolute aura came over him, and I took a deep breath before adhering to his request and showing him one of the terrible memories of his attacks, precisely the one in the laundry room the day after I found out the Uchiha family secret.

Tears rose in my eyes when his own glazed over, his expression falling into one of surprise. After maybe a minute, red erupted in his irises, and I realized he must've made it to the part where he attacked me. My feelings of desperation had his instincts readying the vampire to defend himself. Another minute passed before my chest tightened, and I pulled my palm back to wipe at my tears.

"Sakura-" I shook my head, turning my back to him again so he couldn't see my face, "Don't. It's in the past."

"It still happened."

Somehow, our roles have reversed. A month ago, he wanted me to forget all about it, and I wanted him to address the problem. My face burnt hot as I tried to keep my uneven breaths quiet, despite knowing he could hear them clearly, "You're sorry, though, aren't you? So, let's focus on that."

What the hell am I saying? I've wanted to hear his apologies and reasons for nearly a year. Now that he seems ready to talk about it, I'm trying everything I can to shut him up.

Madara didn't say anything for a long time, but eventually did, his voice low and remorseful, "Can you please face me?" I wiped at my eyes even if it didn't slow the tears and obeyed, frowning at him in the dark. His lips were in a tight line as he searched my face, eyes no longer glowing, "I'll spend the rest of my life, whether it's one year or a thousand, trying to make it up to you, but it still won't be enough."

I buried my face in my hands, leaning forward slightly, "Don't make it sound like you're agreeing to be my servant or something. Let's just talk about something else."

"Sakura, I'll be whatever you need me to be." I dropped my hands and looked up at him slowly, eyes wide with disbelief. Typically, this seemed like a time he'd smile, but instead, he kept his stern expression, "I love you."

I'm sure it was his intention to comfort me. His words made me cry harder, and I came closer to him to press my forehead against his chest, "Stop talking like this! You're Madara Uchiha. For someone like you to be brought to the level of someone like me…."

"Someone like me, huh? You still consider me a person after all I've done, and you think I had to stoop to meet you?" I pulled back to look into his eye again, utterly bewildered by his sincere tone. "I may never grow enough to stand beside you, and it's selfish of me to try."

Dark eyes bore into mine as we stared silently for a long time before I sighed softly, "I'm trying, Madara."

He didn't say anything, but understanding met his features. Instead, he lifted a hand as though he intended to wipe away my tears but froze before he could touch me with a cautious expression that told me he'd forgotten how scared I get when he does things like that all of a sudden.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I mumbled, "It's fine. You can touch me if it's something like this."

I'm not sure when I fell asleep again, but I did, and when I woke a few hours later, I realized immediately that Sasuke still hadn't returned. After dressing and freshening up in a hurry, I rushed out of the room, Madara following me more collectedly, "He wouldn't stay out all night without telling me. Something has to be wrong!"

I asked a few maids I recognized if they'd seen him as I hurried toward the throne room, but they all said no. Madara didn't say a word, and I glanced at him as we walked briskly, "Why're you so quiet? Do you know something?"

"O-Oh! Good morning, Sakura!"

My head turned swiftly at the uncharacteristically awkward tone of Matsuri's voice the moment we stepped into the large room. Gaara spoke with a muscular man nearby, sparing us a glance but nothing more. His bride-to-be was fidgeting and struggling to meet my eye.

There wasn't a need to ask because it was apparent.

I stopped where I stood and faced Madara, the blood in my veins akin to ice, "You fucking liar." I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him.

Not only is Sasuke gone, but so are Kankuro and Sasori, meaning one thing and one thing only: those plans we made after dinner were all for show. They left last night. Madara opened his mouth to say something, but realization struck me again, and I sprinted toward the dungeon.

"Sakura, wait!"

I ignored both his and Matsuri's calls after me, the air in my lungs stuck as I prayed for what I suspected not to be true. Alas, when I came upon Deidara's cell, it was empty. So many horrible, overwhelming emotions flooded me as I stared at the dried blood on the ground and the open chains that'd been cuffed to the blonde vampire's ankles. Only when I heard footsteps approaching did I snap out of it.

"Sakura, please listen to me. I only lied to keep you safe. We all did!"

My eyes were ablaze, I could tell, as I turned my glare onto Madara, "You must feel so proud, making a fool out of me like you have."

He lifted his palms, face desperate as he tried to calm me down with his gestures, "Try to understand-" "No! I fucking trusted you, Madara, and you betrayed me! Again!"

I tried to storm past him, but he stepped in my way. Matsuri and Gaara came around the corner down the hall, obviously worried I would lose control like I had out in the desert the first day of our arrival.

"Sakura, it's not safe. Hate me all you want, but please don't go after them."

The hurt and the rage overwhelmed me, and I gave in to it for just a moment, using my powers to shove Madara against the bars of another empty cell as I bellowed, "How many times do I have to say it before you people listen? I don't care if I'm not safe!"

The two approaching us froze, the king slowly moving Matsuri behind him as his eyes began to glow, obviously preparing to attack me if I lost control completely.

Madara simply stared at me with wide eyes as I came to stand before him, poison dripping from my words, "Deidara didn't want to go out there, and you knew that, yet you still let them go through with it!"

Tears welled in my eyes as I pointed at the empty cell where the blonde man in question had been just last night, "What you did, what you're doing, is exactly what they want to do to me. How are you any different from Amegakure?"

Gaara growled gravely and inhumanly, "Calm yourself at once, Sakura."

My glare darted over to him before turning back onto my master, voice lowering as I hissed, "Deidara and Kakuzu are people. They're victims. They don't deserve to be controlled any more than I do, so I'm going to go. I will rescue them if it's the last thing I do."

Madara looked distraught but couldn't say anything because I turned to face the other two. The thick tears in my eyes finally overflowed when I met Matsuri's eye as she peered around Gaara, my voice cracking as I tried not to break down into sobs, "I-I didn't think any of you were capable of something like this."

With energy crackling through me, I used it to quicken my pace as I shoved past her and Gaara so I could escape the castle and head South in the direction of the fort Kankuro discussed last night. Tears fell heavily down my cheeks as I sprinted with all my might, somehow holding onto the reins as betrayal and hurt flooded me.

Sasuke lied to me.

If he had simply left with the others to fight the Amegakure vampires, I'd still be upset, but not as much as I am now. I'd be a hypocrite if that weren't the case because this is similar to what I did when I ran a few days ago. This time, though, they took a captive, and one they knew for a fact was terrified. Sasuke took a prisoner to use as bait.

When did he become someone who's okay with something so inhuman, so heartless? The Sasuke I know, the one who went off on his uncle after I was attacked, even though it could've led to his death just days after meeting me, wouldn't do that.

But it was him.

It had to be because he'd left Madara behind. The logic is there. If Madara had gone and Sasuke had stayed with me, I would've been able to read the prince's expressions and body language and figure out that something was going on. Madara's an expert liar, and I don't know his tells.

I don't know what I'll say to Sasuke when I finally find him, and I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't have a valid explanation for his actions.