Chapter 46

The following morning, everyone gathered around the dining table, where Fugaku had laid out a large map of the continent. It was being determined who'd be teaming up and where each duo would travel. Now, though, the reason was to find a cure for whatever was happening to my body.

Guilt ate angrily at my chest as I sat silently at the end of the table and tried not to think about how everyone had put the attention that should be on the impending war onto me. Earlier, I overcame my fear of dying and requested the king avert his focus to the Amegakure vampires, but he denied me while refusing to elaborate on his decision.

I stared down at the discolored skin on my hands and forearms. Ever since the vein-like pattern appeared, random bouts of debilitating exhaustion and pain would arise, only to disappear just as swiftly. The steady hum of the others seriously talking seemed to grow louder as my thoughts became less and less calm, the quickening heartbeat in my ears also becoming impossible to ignore.

Too many things were happening at once.

Tsunade and Jiraiya were either captured or back in Kakurega village, and a trap lay between here and there for us. If they were prisoners of the Amegakure vampires, then it was likely a trap awaited at the meeting place they suggested, too. Even if I do go, there's no guarantee they'll follow through with their promise to let them go free in exchange.

Now, I also have Sasuke to stress about.

Last night, he proposed, if you can call it that. He pretty much snuck a ring onto my finger and decided we were engaged. The Uchiha prince appeared focused on his father's instruction, but I've avoided him all morning.

What am I supposed to say?

How am I supposed to act?

Of course, I want to marry him, but I also have to respect myself. I deserve at least the bare minimum of a proposal, and he didn't even offer that. Madara, Ino, and Mikoto have been looking at the two of us with obvious amusement, which I found annoying, but I didn't say anything about it because it was insignificant compared to everything else.

Suddenly feeling overstimulated and hot, I got to my feet and walked toward the exit. I paused when a member of the Militia arrived, bowing to the royal family as they turned toward him, "Kakashi Hatake has arrived."

Said white-haired man entered, smiling calmly as Fugaku greeted him, "Thank you for coming on such short notice. Unfortunately, there isn't time for formalities. Please, join us, so we can fill you in on the details."

In the middle of the king's statement, the increasingly familiar flame shot through my midsection, the tip of the burn stinging my throat and the roof of my mouth. Trying not to draw attention to myself, I stumbled slowly over to the doorframe so as to not collapse to the ground if a wave of exhaustion was to follow. Luckily, it seemed no one noticed.

I clutched at my neck with trembling fingers. How does my skin feel ice cold, but my insides feel like they're melting? I weakly straightened my spine, intending to continue through the doorway rather than get caught in such a vulnerable state by so many people, only for the strength of my limbs to fail.

Just as I thought I would crumple to the ground, a strong arm caught me around the waist and pulled me against its owner's body so they could take on most of my weight. I didn't need to look to know it was Sasuke. The exhausted feeling disappeared, as did the burning pain, leaving me a trembling mess of anxiety.

That's when I realized the room had gone silent because the king suddenly spoke, "As you can see, the situation's quite dire. Perhaps you've encountered something similar in your travels?"

I spoke softly, feeling humiliated, "May I please be excused?" Having caught my breath, I straightened my posture and stood on my own two feet. It was like the bout of weakness had never happened.

When no one responded, I turned to face the room, only for my eyes to lock onto Kakashi's uncharacteristically stunned expression. I thought they'd all been staring at me, but they weren't. Everyone was equally as confused by the nomadic vampire's response.

Sasuke spoke from my side, "What is it, Kakashi?"

The white-haired vampire blinked as though he hadn't realized he'd frozen, glancing around the room before turning his gaze onto me again, frowning, "I've only heard of this once before, and you're right to be concerned if what Jiraiya told me is true."

Ino gasped at the table, causing him to freeze for a moment. I watched her cover her mouth before frantically waving a dismissive hand at the others who'd looked her way. Then her bright blue eyes were on me again, wide as can be.

Kakashi hesitantly stepped closer, reaching for my hands. I nervously allowed him to hold them in his own. After studying my discolored skin, he continued in a forced voice, "Tsunade nearly perished from an affliction like this."

Tears welled in my eyes, but I swallowed nervously and kept a strong facade. Ino's distraught expression in my peripheral encouraged me to hold it together.

Kakashi's brow furrowed as he stepped closer, searching my face carefully, "You need to go to her immediately, Sakura, or you very well might die. Her healing ability and knowledge of the illness may be all we have to hope on."

It was like the world around me became still. I knew it was too good to be true. For two years now, every time I overcame a trial, another, stronger one appeared. Whatever God or Goddesses were out there obviously had it out for me. It's like I keep surviving their plans to ruin me, and they have no choice but to try again and again, hoping I'll one day give up.

I excused myself soon after the revelation that my hypothetical hourglass was running dangerously low on sand, desperately needing time alone to gather my thoughts.

As I climbed the stairs to the second floor, I didn't bother putting on a composed mask.

I really am going to die. If Tsunade's the only one who can help me now, there's no way for me to survive. My enemies won't allow her to heal me before letting her go in my stead if they don't just kill one or both of us anyway.

As I entered the bedroom, I sensed a presence behind me and whipped around, ready to defend myself, only to gasp and step back when Kakashi stood there with the same serious expression he had downstairs.

"U-Um, is everything alright?"

With a finger to his lips, signaling me to remain silent, he guided me inside the room, looking out into the hall one last time to verify that no one had followed him. The vampire shut the door and turned to frown at me.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, "What's going on?"

He shushed me, almost frantically motioning for me to lower my voice, "Stop! Quiet!"

Something felt off, so I stepped back, eyes aglow as goosebumps littered my skin, "You're behaving oddly, Kakashi. Explain yourself now."

"Please, sit down, and I'll tell you everything. And don't waste your energy," he reached for my arm as though intending to guide me to the edge of the bed, but I snatched it away.

"I'm not doing anything until you tell me what's happening."

His brow furrowed desperately as he shook his head, palms defensively raised, "Sakura, listen to me-" "Now, Kakashi." "...You're pregnant…. I mean, I'm pretty sure you are."

All the discomfort and anger I felt disappeared without a trace. My entire body became cold like my hands, and I stumbled backward to grasp the edge of the footboard, "Wh-What? What do you mean? How could you possibly know something like that?"

He tilted his head with an empathetic frown, "I didn't say anything downstairs because I was sure you wouldn't want to find out in front of so many people. Your sister obviously heard my thoughts, but she promised not to say anything for now."

Pregnant? Me?

As if my current state of panic and disbelief wasn't enough, another bout of unbearable pain shot up my spine, causing me to double over with tears in my eyes. Kakashi knelt in front of me, a supportive hand on my shoulder, "I lied when I said Jiraiya told me about Tsunade. I was there, and it's like I'm watching her suffer again."

Gasping as I tried to breathe through the pain, I looked up at him with a wince, "I don't understand. How…? Why?"

"It's not my place to tell you how things ended up the way they did for her, but I can't sit here and pretend not to know what's going on."

The raw ache disappeared. Rather than get up, I fell weakly to my knees, hands to my stomach, with wide, glazed-over eyes. It's not possible, right?

"Tsunade's offspring didn't make it. Her body wasn't strong enough to support two infants with significantly more power than the average vampire child. They died barely a week before her expected due date."

Wait, did he say they died? Tsunade didn't mention any of this to me. Then again, we didn't have much time to discuss such topics when we were being hunted by Amegakure vampires.

Tears fell as I shook my head, "No…. No, it can't be true because Ino had-" "Ino's not the same as you and Tsunade, Sakura. Everyone knows this," Kakashi offered me a hand and gently helped me to my feet.

When he spoke again, his voice was barely audible, "It's been Jiraiya and my's theory that it happened because she was pregnant with twins. Having one child would be taxing enough on women like you, but two…."

I shook my head again, completely in denial, "Mikoto had Sai and Sasuke, though! Why didn't she-" "She's not an angel, Sakura! You have to accept that you're not normal, no matter how much you wish you were." The white-haired vampire seemed more desperate for me to overcome my shock.

He continued, glancing back at the closed bedroom door, "I meant what I said downstairs. You need to be with Tsunade. With her there to help, you should be able to survive the procedure needed to terminate the pregnancy."

"Wait, what? Terminate?"

My entire body trembled with fear because this wasn't how things were supposed to go. We're supposed to defeat our enemies, marry, and then have children. This was all wrong. Many evil people are still out there, eager to use or kill us, and Sasuke only just made it known yesterday that he wants to be wed. To top it off, so many people are depending on me and my strength, while I'm so weak that I can barely go an hour without being completely disabled for short bursts of time.

"You'll die if you try to deliver, Sakura. I know it's difficult, but-" "You want me to kill innocent children?"

I was borderline hyperventilating, glare in my burning eyes as I snatched my hand away from his and fisted it at my side. My issue with the potential murder of a pregnant Konan was a million times stronger when the infant, or infants if Kakashi was correct, belonged to Sasuke and me.

Obviously, the vampire before me understood what I was thinking and stepped back with a sad look in his eye, "...We both know what Sasuke will say when he finds out."

It was like a punch to the gut. I thought back to how dead-set the Uchiha prince was on killing anyone and anything if it meant protecting me. He wouldn't….would he?

Shaking my head, I took another step away from him, eyes glazed over as I desperately tried to gain control of the situation, "You won't tell anyone."

Kakashi's eyes widened, "You want me to lie to an entire royal family?"

"Yes, I do," I nodded, focusing on the man's stunned expression. A plan formed in my head: "Whether or not I am pregnant, I can't be that far along because I'm not showing. I haven't experienced any other symptoms, either."

"But Sakura-" "You're going to convince the king to send Sasuke and I to scope out Iwagakure. We should arrive in time if we leave in the next few days."

"What will you do if you get there and can't get to Tsunade?"

Tears that'd been threatening to fall the entire time finally did, and I reached up to wipe them, voice cracking, "I don't care what I have to do. I'll rescue her and Jiraiya. Then I'll tell Sasuke everything, I swear."

Kakashi slowly shook his head, obviously against the plan, "Your condition is a gamble at best. If you get hurt now, there's no guarantee you'll recover. The fetuses are already sapping all of your energy. That's only going to get worse."

"So come with us, then. Hell, bring along a whole group. I don't care!" I met his gaze firmly, fists clenched at my sides as I gave up on wiping the tears, "All I know is that if I'm pregnant, I'll do whatever it takes to protect them."

My teeth gritted as my eyes widened at my own vow. To be surprised by one's own words was uncommon, but it was like something inside me had taken over, and it was fierce and unmoving.

Is it maternal instinct? If so, does that mean I really am pregnant? Or am I just feeling this way because there's a chance?

Wait…I'm not nearly as upset about that part of all this as I should be. I've always thought I was indifferent toward the idea of being a mother, but now that I might soon become one, everything felt different. In a snap of the fingers, it was like my entire future changed to suit the concept. There wasn't an ounce of hesitance.

"Sakura, if I'm to go along with this, I need a vow. Swear that you're completely sure this is what you want to do."

Like I suspected I would, I found myself nodding resolutely without a second thought.

Kakashi's jaw flexed, and brow furrowed as he undoubtedly cursed himself for getting into such a tight spot, stuck between betraying me or betraying the Uchihas. After a long moment of pondering, he nodded, "I'll agree on one condition."

I nodded, ready to give anything to ensure things go my way.

"You must tell Sasuke before we arrive in Iwa. He deserves to know."

This time, I did hesitate. Not only am I unsure if he wants children at all, I don't know how he'll react to this happening now. In all my life, I've never heard of a royal child born out of wedlock. If it's happened, it's undoubtedly been covered up in the history books due to the shame of it all.

I'm reasonably sure he'll react badly to the fact that I'll likely die trying to give birth. He'll probably try to convince me otherwise, but I don't know how far he'll go if I continuously refuse.

"Fine."

Kakashi soon left to return downstairs and begin swaying Fugaku's plans as we discussed.

That left me shakily rushing into the bathroom, locking the door behind me, and turning the bath on to fill. While it did, I undressed before turning to see my reflection in the mirror. It was completely normal, minus my pale complexion, the discolored skin of my forearms and hands, and the fact that I still hadn't regained all of the weight I'd lost from being starved in Amegakure.

Turning to the side, tears blurred my vision. There wasn't even a hint of a bump. He had to be wrong about the pregnancy, especially with twins.

I ran a hand down my stomach as I turned away and entered the steaming water of the bath. Inwardly, my subconscious disagreed. Sasuke and I both have twin siblings. The science was there. It's highly probable for Ino or me to conceive twins.

Say I'm not, what then? A hint of disappointment sank deep into my gut for some reason, but that made absolutely no sense. I don't want to have a baby, much less two. At least, not yet.

For some reason, I could only think about Shinzo, the nonexistent child that Kaguya's son tried to torture Madara and me with. Though they were false, the memories I was given of his birth and the time spent together were beautiful. Even back then, I admitted to it. Sure, those memories included a shadowed figure as a father because I hadn't yet known it was supposed to be Madara, but I was thoroughly convinced it was Sasuke in the meantime.

And I hadn't hated the idea at all.

Sobs soon wracked my chest, and I tried my best to keep them quiet in case someone would come to check on me.

What if I am pregnant?

Can I, Sakura Haruno, who can't go a month without almost being killed, bear a child for Sasuke?

I can't tell him.

That's my initial response because he so hatefully vowed to murder Konan. Not an ounce of remorse or guilt lay in his beautiful dark eyes. He meant what he said. He may become violent if I tell him, and we can't find a way to ensure my safety. I'll never be able to forgive him if something happens to my baby by his hand.

Shaking my head, I thumped my forehead against my bent knees. The more I think about it, the easier it is to say things like "my baby" or "my child", as if it's already confirmed, as if I've already accepted it.

The only thing I know for sure is that we need to rescue Tsunade and Jiraiya before things get even worse with whatever's afflicting me and before Amegakure kills them.