The main praise I have here is the uniqueness of the story. Amongst a horde of fantasy and system novels, this one is one that catches the eye. The author is also appearing well versed in the English vocabulary leading to a mostly smooth and descriptive writing style. Nice work!
3 years ago
1
Galanar
Although you seem to be struggling with verb tenses, the rest of the work is good. A few times I was confused as to what voice was her and which one was in her head, so maybe find a way to define those better. But overall good read :)
3 years ago
1
Livylivalive
The premise is very interesting in the boundaries of conventional and unconventional. There is plenty of humor, starting from the very first chapter. And the character is quite cool.
The full caps lock in some dialogue may interfere with reading experience in spite of being intentional, and the plentiful characters may throw readers off at first.
The main praise I have here is the uniqueness of the story. Amongst a horde of fantasy and system novels, this one is one that catches the eye. The author is also appearing well versed in the English vocabulary leading to a mostly smooth and descriptive writing style. Nice work!
Although you seem to be struggling with verb tenses, the rest of the work is good. A few times I was confused as to what voice was her and which one was in her head, so maybe find a way to define those better. But overall good read :)
The premise is very interesting in the boundaries of conventional and unconventional. There is plenty of humor, starting from the very first chapter. And the character is quite cool. The full caps lock in some dialogue may interfere with reading experience in spite of being intentional, and the plentiful characters may throw readers off at first.