- 8 2 -

I wake up drenched in sweat, my heartbeat erratic and my hair stuck to my forehead as my eyes search the dark room frantically.

Thunder cracks and the windows shake with fear just like I do. Another nightmare. I press my palm to my chest, trying to calm down my heart and breathe deeply a few times.

Swinging my legs from the bed and onto the floor, I stand up only for my knees to buckle as pain hits me like a truck. I feel so sore, my legs shaking as I try to stand up again and pad over to the door slowly, opening it and looking out cautiously.

The hallway is dark, and so is the rest of the house as I walk over to my room carefully and turn on the lights. Emptiness greets me, an eerie silence taking hold as emotions clog my throat when my eyes fall on the unmade bed, the sheets and pillows scattered just like I had left it earlier.

I force my eyes away and pick up a pillow from the floor, holding back the tears that threaten to spill out as I pull off the dirty sheets and change the covers, a sob breaking past my lips.

I fall to the floor as a wave of dizziness washes over me and cry, clutching the sheet in my hand and bringing my knees closer to my chest, I sob into the emptiness around me.

I vaguely hear the creaking of a door and heavy footsteps nearing me slowly. I look down at black boots, raising my gaze up to black jeans, a plain white button down, the first two buttons left open and a black lather jacket on top.

My eyes move over a lightly stubbled jaw, sharp features and striking brown-grey eyes.

"Thea." He whispers and I immediately look away, staring at the cold marble floor under me instead.

"Why are you here?" I whisper, hating the way my voice cracks when he sighs, crouching down to my level and pushing strands of hair away from my face.

"Because you need me." He says softly and I scoff, moving my face away from him.

"I don't need you. Leave." I say without looking at him when he sighs heavily.

"Come on, get up from the floor or you'll get sick." He tells me but I ignore him and he repeats it again.

"Thea, get off the floor. Please." His voice is gentle, his tone full of worry when I gulp, still not daring to look up at him.

"I-I can't." I croak out and close my eyes in shame but hear no retorts from him. My eyes snap open when I feel myself being lifted off the ground and I immediately hold onto him as he places me gently on the bed.

"It's alright." He tells me and I look at him with narrowed eyes when he walks into my closet and comes back with one of my silky pyjamas and shirt, passing them to me and leaving the room wordlessly.

I watch surprised as the door closes behind him when he leaves the room and my mind races with endless thoughts as I take off the bath gown on me and put the dry clothes on, combing my hair and pulling it into a braid.

I settle back onto the bed, staring off into space when the door opens again, momentarily scaring me when the man comes into my view again and carries a tray inside with him.

"Drink this, and eat these medicines or you'll get sick." He says and puts the tray on my lap, pulling the covers over my legs and placing pillows behind my back to support me.

I watch in a daze as he makes sure I'm comfortable tucking the blanket around me just how I always liked it, but something feels off. The person doing it feels off. Just not the same as him.

"Where is your boyfriend?" He asks after a while when I'm drinking the soup, the question catching me off guard when I freeze, flicking my eyes over to his curious ones.

"I don't know." I clear my throat and look down at the soup bowl, thankful that he doesn't ask me anything after that as I take the medicines.

He places his hand on my forehead, his brows furrowing as he mumbles something under his breath while I still at the familiar yet so foreign touch.

"You need to rest." He says when I look at him, really look at him and frown.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask in a small whisper when he smiles softly, looking at my hands.

"Because I want to." He answers and my frown deepens.

"But why? I wanted nothing to do with you, Igor." I say confused when he releases a breathy chuckle.

"I know. But that doesn't mean I'll stop. I mean it when I say I love you, Thea. And I can't see you in pain." He says and I scoff.

"If you can't see me in pain, why cause so much of it in the first place? You knew what I'd been through when I gave you my heart. And yet, you stomped all over it. I have someone else now, Igor." I said in frustration and saw his wince.

"I know I hurt you, but it was necessary for..." He trails off, his eyes drifting to me before he looks away again.

"For what?" I press and he sighs, shaking his head.

"For your own good. That's all you should know." He said and my face fell.

"You shot my brother." I state in a deadpan, crossing my arms over my chest when he chuckles and nods once.

"I know. But he shot me too." He points out and I roll my eyes.

"You wanted to overthrow him. Power took hold of you. Power still has its hold on you." I state but he doesn't answer, only looks at me wordlessly but with an intensity that makes heat spread over my face and has me looking away.

"Doesn't mean I wasn't sincere in my love for you. I was always sincere to you, Heather. Always." His words shouldn't make my heart race, but they do when I look back at his intense eyes, both of us just staring at each other without speaking a word when he leans closer and cups my cheek.

"But you loved power more than you loved me." I whisper when he shakes his head softly.

"Power means nothing when I don't have you." He says it so easily, so causally that it has my heart breaking all over again as the burning behind my eyes intensifies.

"You mean nothing to me." I say as my last resort when he smiles softly, leaning even closer so that our lips are barely an inch apart.

"You don't mean that, Thea. I know you still love me. I just know it." He says gently and I close my eyes in frustration, a single tear falling down my cheek just as his thumb ghosts over my skin and wipes it away.

I look back into his familiar eyes when he leans closer and I know he is about to kiss me when I turn my head, his lips landing on my cheek instead.

I love Roman, and I'll always love him.

That is, if he ever comes back.

I hear a heavy sigh escape his parted lips as he strokes his thumb along my cheekbone and my face burns with shame when I clench my eyes shut and purse my lips.

"You need to leave, Igor. I really appreciate you looking out for me but I-"

"You love someone else, I know." He says with a pained expression and I watch as he tries to collect his thoughts and turns to me, leaning closer and cupping my face.

"You're something else, Heather Elias." He murmurs as he presses his lips to my forehead and more tears fall from my face which he is quick to wipe away before standing up wordlessly and walking to the door.

Just as he is leaving, he turns around and looks at me with an expression I can't quite put my finger on.

"He really hit the jackpot, didn't he?" He chuckles humourlessly to himself while I watch with furrowed brows.

"That asshole doesn't deserve your love. No one does. We're not worth it, Thea. Men like us don't deserve you. You deserve the world, and so much more." He breathes out and I suck in a sharp breath as he turns around and leaves, the door clicking softly behind him as the tears flow freely down my face now.

What the hell just happened?

I lay down on the bed, eyeing the empty bowl of soup and glass of water on the table before pulling the covers to my chin and closing my eyes as my heart aches for the man I long for.

"Where are you, Roman? I need you." I whisper in a silent plea before exhaustion takes its toll on me and I'm fast asleep within minutes.

* * *

The next day I spend looking through all the pictures Igor had mailed me of the past two and a half years. I look through piles of myself, a slight headache forming and a hollowness in my chest that only a certain man with emerald green eyes could fill.

I hadn't seen him since the episode yesterday and I was still a little sore, the memory playing in my mind in a loop as I shook my head to clear my thoughts. My phone ringing brought me out of my daze and I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I say when a throat was cleared at the other end.

"Darling, how have you been?" Anton's deep voice with a hint of the Russian accent rolled in and I sighed, looking around my lonely apartment.

"I've been better." I say into the phone when he hums.

"How is Roman? Is everything alright after yesterday?" He inquires and I press my lips together, swallowing thickly.

"I don't know." I whisper into the phone and am greeted by silence before he speaks again.

"Where is he, darling?" He asks in a gentler tone and I sigh, absently pulling at the leggings I'm wearing.

"I don't know." I say again and hear his sigh.

"What happened?" He asks me when I look up at the ceiling.

"He was... pissed. And really hurt." I say with difficulty, emotions weighing me down as I pull my legs up to my chest and lay my head on my knees.

"He left and I haven't seen him since." I added and heard Anton's hum.

"Are you alright? Holding up okay?" He asks when I smile softly at his concern.

"I'll be fine, I think. I've got to be okay, right?" I say, my voice cracking.

"You'll be just fine, darling, I know it. And he'll be back for you too. He loves you very much. I know that, so you should know that he can't live without you." He says and I smile at his reassurance and hum softly.

"Okay."

"We also have to uh... carry on with everything. It's time." He says and my blood runs cold.

"You mean...?" I trail off and wait for his reply.

"Yes, We're going after Ferruccio Angelo. This time next week, he'll be a dead man." He says and my blood runs cold as I swallow thickly.

I've always wanted to kill the man responsible for the murder of my mother. My life changed, I met new people, left others, but the only constant in my life was this one thing. To kill the one who destroyed us.

The only difference this time, I was madly in love with his son. My soulmate, was the son of the man who murdered my mother in cold blood and left me as a sign of his 'mercy'.

I wasn't so sure of this constant anymore, was I?