Chapter 8

Neither of the eldest two archangels care that Gabriel is now crippled on the floor. Hell, if Lucifer hadn't thrown him into a wall, Michael would have done the same thing, except probably not as hard. None of the other angels are involved in this argument. It's between the two of them only.

"I'm serious, Michael," Lucifer says. "I won't sit around in this crappy building with you until Dad finally decides to stop dicking with us. It's apocalypse now."

"No, Lucifer," Michael insists. "We don't have to fight."

"Funny, because I remember saying that to you seven years ago," Lucifer replies. "I remember asking you — you — not to make us do this, but you wouldn't walk away. Well, the tables have turned. You're getting your apocalypse, Michael. Better late than never."

"I won't fight you," Michael says stubbornly.

"Then I guess I won't have a problem taking you out then, huh?"

With a flick of his wrist, Michael is flung into a wall with more force than Gabriel had been, creating an earthquake-like occurrence. Michael, unlike his younger brother, remains standing, healing his vessel quickly. He remains silent, not giving Lucifer the satisfaction of hearing him argue. Lucifer throws him into the ceiling this time, somehow harder than the last time. Michael bites his lip and doesn't say anything, hoping Lucifer will decide to stop messing with him. Instead, Lucifer throws him back down to the floor, and Michael finally snaps.

"Fine," he growls.

He flings Lucifer into the wall on the other side of the war room, the thud so loud it's likely audible in China. Before they can continue their fight, Chuck appears in the room, standing directly between the two pissed off archangels.

"Well, that was interesting," he says, looking around. "'Kay, couple things. First of all, yay on Destiel." He smiles at the new couple, who are both watching him without showing any emotion. "I don't think you realize how hard it was to watch you two. I set you two up from the get go. It's been years, guys! What took you so long?"

"Well, sorry we didn't do everything exactly as you planned," Dean says sarcastically.

"The hostility of that was unnecessary," Chuck says. "But hey, it worked out anyway. Okay, but seriously, guys. got together before you! Do you have any idea how frustrating it is when your perfect match stays 'just friends' but the two that were supposed to be enemies are meeting up every week for coffee?"

"Well — Wait, every week?" Dean repeats, looking at Sam. "How did you get away every week and I never noticed?"

Sam shrugs. "You've got to sleep sometime."

"You should be happy, though," Gabriel adds, standing next to Sam after he had reheated himself. "I mean, if I hadn't been expecting Sam, I never would have saved you from those gods."

"What?" Dean says in confusion.

"Yeah, while you were hitting on Kali, I texted him that I was stuck in the storm," Sam says.

"So this wasn't about Kali?" Dean asks Gabriel. "You guys never... had a thing?"

Gabriel hesitates. "That was a long time ago."

"Wait, you and Kali were really...?" Sam says.

"That was way before I met you. Nothing that happened between us while we were there meant anything."

"What do you mean, what happened there?" Sam asks quickly. "What happened there?"

Gabriel purses his lips for a moment as he tries to think of a way to say this. "It was nothing. I just had to get close to try to snag your blood."

"So what did you do?"

"I, uh... Well, I sort of had to kiss her to get close to it because she was standing in front of it..."

"And you never mentioned this?" Sam demands.

"No, because I knew you'd act like this!"

"Alright, enough, enough," Chuck says, rolling his eyes. "Could you guys be any more high school about this?"

"What are you even doing here?" Dean asks him. "Don't tell me it was just to comment on people's relationships."

"No. Well, sort of, but no," Chuck says. "Okay, first of all, Gabriel, you know better than to get between your brothers when they're fighting."

Gabriel shrugs. "It turned out better than last time. At least I'm still breathing."

"True," Chuck agrees before turning to Castiel. "And seriously, Cas? You've got to stop hating on yourself. And I've been watching this whole time, by the way. You didn't need to get my attention."

"You saw this whole thing?" Sam repeats. "And you didn't try to stop it?"

"What do you think I'm doing now?" Chuck replies. He looks between the eldest two archangels. "You had , guys! 'No killing each other,' remember?"

"I'm sorry, Father," Michael says.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to your brother."

"Don't bother," Lucifer says. "I'm not after an apology. I'm after a way out."

"Unfortunately for you, there is none," Chuck replies. "You will stay here, and you will not kill anyone. Do you understand?"

"Oh, I understand," Lucifer says. "I just don't care."

"Lucifer —"

"What? You gonna send me back to Hell, huh?" Lucifer asks mockingly. "There's nothing you can do to me that's worse than being stuck here with these jackasses. Well, except being stuck with you."

"I don't get it," Chuck says. "We made up. I thought we were cool."

"Yeah, we made up. Fat lot of good that did me. You used me to get what you wanted, and as soon as you had Amara where you wanted her, you left me. Again."

"Lucifer, I'm sor —"

"Don't give me that apology crap," Lucifer snaps. "I trusted you last time. I won't make that mistake again."

Chuck hesitates, then nods. "Fine. If you want to hate me, go right ahead. Anyway, looks like you're all getting bored already, so I've decided to add a few more friends. I'm sure you'll be thankful. Well, maybe not Cas. That'll be interesting. I would have brought Ash, too, but he's been Heaven hopping and I don't know where he is now. So, um, bye. Good luck. And this time, please don't try to kill each other."

Chuck snaps his fingers and is instantly replaced by four people. Standing where Chuck stood is five people that are impossible not to recognize. It's Adam, Ellen, Jo, Balthazar, and Samandriel.