Chapter 23

"Oh my dad," Lucifer groans, exasperated. He walks over to the door and tries to open it. It doesn't work. Well, it was worth a try. He slams his foot into the door, but once again, it won't budge. He yanks the doorknob with enough force that, on any other door, would have taken the knob off. Unsurprisingly, nothing happens.

"Are you done yet?" Jo asks from behind him, crossing her arms.

"No." Lucifer slams a foot into the wall, but it doesn't break.

"It's not going to work," Jo tells him. "God has this place on lockdown. We're stuck here."

Lucifer sighs and turns around, leaning against the door. "I know. But I'm not going to talk to you just cuz my dad says to."

"Fine by me," Jo replies.

There's a silence that Jo can't quite explain. It sort of feels awkward, yes, but it's not as if things would be less awkward if they were talking. Perhaps the word she's looking for is tense. It's a tense silence, an uncomfortable one.

She takes a seat on the bed, waiting for the time to pass. How long do they have to stay in here? Is this going to take forever? Is God going to leave them in here forever if they don't talk? She hopes not. She needs to eat. She's only human, after all. She hopes someone comes to help her, because this is not fun. She'd almost rather talk to Lucifer than sit in silence. Almost, but not quite.

Suddenly, Chuck appears in the room. "Guys, I put you here to talk."

"I know," Lucifer replies.

"And I can keep you here until you do," Chuck adds.

"It's not my fault Lucifer's so stubborn!" Jo protests. "Why am I stuck here?"

"Because I'm God and I can stick you in here," he replies.

"And I'm a hunter, and my job is to take out the supernatural, and that includes you," Jo retorts.

"You can't do that." He circles his face with his finger. "God, remember?"

He suddenly disappears, leaving Jo and Lucifer alone again.

"You think if killing him was that easy, I wouldn't have done it already?" Lucifer says, rolling his eyes.

"You know what? I'm trying, Lucifer. Bite me," she snaps.

"I'd much rather you, actually," he replies.

"It's almost preferable to this," Jo mutters.

"Ugh, definitely," Lucifer agrees. "I swear, if Dad wasn't watching us like a hawk..." He mimes stabbing himself with an invisible archangel blade. "But nope. Overprotective parents are the worst."

"Tell me about it."

"You too?"

Jo nods. "My mom wouldn't even let me go on a hunt with the Winchesters. I had to sneak out."

"Why would you want to go hunt with the Winchesters? How stupid are you? They're possibly the worst hunting partners I've ever seen, and I've met — and killed — plenty. You really want to trust your life with them? They'd use you as bait and get you killed."

"Well, I know that ," she says defensively. "I mean, they're nice, but I never should have gone on that hunt."

"Was that the one I got you killed on?" Lucifer asks, not to apologize but just out of curiosity.

"No, not that one, but yeah, same for that. I never would have died if it wasn't for them. Stuck working at the diner, sure, but that's better than dead."

"And here I thought you blamed me for that," Lucifer says as though he's more offended than he really is.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I still completely blame that on you," Jo assures him. "But the Winchesters are the reason I'm in this mess anyway. They got me killed, my mom, my dad... Wait, why am I telling you this?"

Lucifer shrugs. "Beats me."

Awkward silence.

"But you're welcome to keep talking," Lucifer adds. "You know, to pass the time."

"No, that's about it," Jo replies awkwardly.

Awkward silence.

"What about you?" Jo asks.

"What about me?" Lucifer asks, slightly defensively.

"You have any stories to tell? You know, just to pass the time."

"Not really," Lucifer replies.

"How about Heaven?" Jo asks. "What was that like?"

Lucifer shrugs. "You know. Heaven."

"What did you do there?"

"Not much. Gabe, Raph, Mike and I used to play tag. None of the other angels could catch up, so it was just us archangels. I used to teach Gabe magic tricks — you know, like making duplicates of yourself. We really didn't do much, but it was fun.

"I doubt it's still anything like that, though. Michael and Raphael would have turned the angels into soldiers, nothing more. Incapable of using their free will, of having a mind of their own. They would have screwed up Heaven for everyone, just so they can have absolute control."

"You really hate Michael, don't you?" Jo observes.

"You'd hate him, too, if you knew him."

"He seems pretty nice to me," Jo replies, a hint of defiance in her voice for disagreeing with the devil.

"Because you don't know him. Trust me, he's not nearly as nice as he seems."

"You're just bitter about how he sent you to hell," Jo accuses.

Lucifer's eyes glow red for a moment, and Jo suddenly finds herself incapable of breathing. Jo tries to yell for help, but she can't. She clutches her throat as if she can pry it open, but she can't. This goes on for almost a full minute, until suddenly, it stops. Jo gasps for breath, never valuing oxygen as much as she does now.

"What the hell was that for?" Jo demands once she can breathe normally.

"That was for pushing my limits," he growls.

Jo isn't sure what to say to that, so she doesn't say anything. She never should have started talking to him at all. She should have known it wouldn't end well, just like it didn't end well last time. Talking to Lucifer isn't a good idea. It never was. She doesn't care how long God decides to stick them in a room together. She should know better than to talk to the devil.