Chapter 122

"Are you shitting me?" Lucifer slams his foot into the bedroom door with as much force as he can muster, but, as is the standard when Chuck takes charge, nothing happens.

Jo sighs and sits down on the bed. "Great."

Lucifer whips around to look at her, his eyes flaring red. "I told you! I told you to leave me alone, and that he was going to use us for his entertainment, and you didn't listen, and look where that got us now!"

Jo puts her hands up defensively. "God, sorry. I just assumed that he was sick of locking us up."

"Of course he wasn't!" Lucifer practically yells. "As long as he thinks we're going to be entertaining, he's gonna keep doing it! That's what he does! Why do you think I've been staying away from everyone?"

"Well, yeah, I see that now," she says, rolling her eyes. "What do you want me to say? We're already stuck here. There's nothing I can do about it now."

"How does this not bother you?" Lucifer asks incredulously. "I've never seen you so indifferent."

"We've been stuck here long enough for me to learn to just roll with the punches," Jo says with a shrug.

"Oh my god," Lucifer groans, throwing his head back in exasperation. "I can't even deal with you right now, holy shit, man."

Jo stared at him uncomprehendingly. "You're acting like I just killed your child or something."

"No, you killed my chance at quality time with my child, but that's a whole different story," Lucifer says. He takes a deep breath, calming himself down the best he can. After a pause, he sits down on the floor, his legs laid out in front of him.

"What... what are you doing?" Jo asks slowly.

"The opposite of what Chuck wants me to." He spits the name like it's venom.

"Which is...?" Jo prompts.

"Talking," Lucifer says. "Fighting. Anything, really. I figure if I sit down and shut up, he'll have to get bored eventually." He can only assume Chuck would rather watch Lucifer and Gabriel tear at each other's throats than watch Lucifer and Jo sit in silence.

"Do you really think it'll work?" Jo asks.

"I don't fucking know," he snaps. "Do I look like God to you?"

"Well, no, but from what I've heard, you did do a pretty piss poor job at imitating Him," Jo says.

Lucifer starts to retaliate, but, fortunately, he catches himself before he does and bites back a sarcastic remark.

Jo frowns. "So, what, this is it? We're just gonna sit here and do nothing for the rest of eternity?"

"If that's what it takes, then yes," Lucifer replies.

"You're gonna get bored eventually, you know," Jo says. "Long before Chuck gets bored, with all the other people he has to watch."

Lucifer raises his gaze to meet hers. "I've spent most of my life alone in a cage. Trust me, boredom is nothing new to me."

Jo crosses her arms with a pout, but she doesn't try to push him to talk. This isn't the Lucifer she knows. That Lucifer would be itching for a fight. She's a bit scared to see what would happen if she forced a fight on him now.

Under her breath, she mutters a somewhat passive aggressive, "You're more boring than Michael is," with no intention of letting Lucifer hear it, and certainly not intention of it becoming a topic of conversation.

But, as you can probably tell just from the way that was written, Lucifer hears it and it becomes a topic of conversation.

"What happened to your Romeo and Juliet fantasy?" Lucifer asks, though he couldn't possibly sound any less interested.

"Nothing happened," Jo says defensively.

"You know, I've never actually asked Shakespeare, but I'm decently sure Juliet never complained that Romeo was too boring."

"Oh, shut up," Jo snaps.

Lucifer just smirks.

"And wipe that look off your face."

"Oh, but Jo," Lucifer says, exaggerating his innocence to the point where Jo wants to punch him, "I thought you missed fighting with me."

"I take it back," she says. "Fuck off."

Lucifer chuckles to himself.

Jo eyes him warily, but it becomes apparent pretty quickly that he's not going to say anything else.

"Wow," she says, mostly to herself. "It's not usually that easy to shut you up."

"Trust me, you wouldn't have been able to shut me up if I hadn't wanted to shut myself up first," he replies.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that I don't care what's going on with you and Michael," Lucifer says. "You can have your falling out in peace, and I'll —"

"We're not having a 'falling out,' Jo interrupts. "Stop talking like we're having some big fight."

"I have no idea if you're having a huge fight," Lucifer says. "I've been in quarantine, remember? No one wants to catch the Satan cooties? I have no idea what's going on with you and Michael and everyone else, but, at this rate, I'm thinking you're about to drop the whole story under the guise that you're trying to shut me up or defend your honor or whatever."

"There is no story," she says.

Lucifer raises an eyebrow, skepticism clear on his face, but doesn't say a word.

"Seriously, there's no story," she insists. "It's just boring, being stuck in the bunker. It's rubbing off on him — on everyone, I mean."

Lucifer chuckles. "Right, okay. Anything else you want to tell me about your relationship while you're apparently giving yourself some angel therapy? I'm sure my disapproving looks will be very helpful for figuring out what you should do next."

"Oh, shut up."

"You keep saying that, and yet you're the one spilling your guts, not me."

Jo just glares at him.

"You refused to sit here quietly until Chuck let us leave," Lucifer reminds her. "Congratulations. You got your wish."

"And now I've changed my mind," Jo says. "Let's go back to that silence thing."

"I don't know, Jo," Lucifer says mockingly. "Isn't that too boring? You don't want to feel like you're with Michael, do you?"

"Why are you so hung up on that?" Jo asks, exasperated.

"Because you're hung up on it," Lucifer says as if it's obvious. "And that means it's something that's really easy to make fun of."

"Well, I'm not hung up on it," she says. "You're looking too much into it."

"Mm, okay." Lucifer readjusts himself, returning to the position he had been in before — legs stretched in front of him, hands clasped in his lap, and staring at the wall straight ahead. The smug smile on his face if new, though, and Jo does not appreciate it.

"I know you feel like you did something, but you didn't," she says. "I know that Michael and I have a great relationship, so whether you know it isn't important."