Epilogue

"Merry Christmas!" Jo yells, running over and jumping on Lucifer's back.

Lucifer groans, not because he just got attacked by 100 pounds of pure energy but because it's Christmas. He hates Christmas. He's always hated Christmas. He's hated Christmas since it was a Pagan holiday, and he hates it more now that it celebrates his pain-in-the-ass little humanoid brother.

Of course, this Christmas is going to be even worse, because why would things be easy?

The Harvelles insisted on inviting the entire house arrest squad to the Roadhouse to celebrate. Lucifer had immediately announced that he was going to leave when they came, which he had assumed would be okay with everyone. He's been avoiding Michael on his biweekly-ish visits over the last couple of months. He's been avoiding Sam since they broke up. It's become the new normal; anyone they know shows up and Lucifer leaves.

And it's not like that's going to affect business. Sure, Lucifer has accidentally become the most valued member of the team thanks to his propensity for materializing drinks out of nowhere and flying between tables to cut travel time, but it's . They're closing the doors to everyone they don't consider a friend, and there's no way in hell Lucifer is waiting on the lockdown gang.

Unfortunately, Ellen shot down his plan to leave immediately with some bullshit about how he's "part of the family now" and that he "can't keep running from everyone for the rest of eternity" or whatever. It's a load of bullshit, but he's come to realize that when Ellen sets her mind on something, she gets her way no matter what. Why else would the devil himself be working at a hunters' bar?

"Come on, it's gonna be fun!" Jo assures him, hopping off his back and standing in front of him.

"Oh, yes, I'm sure are going to have lots of fun," Lucifer deadpans. "I, on the other hand, will sit in a corner and try not to cause problems."

Jo rolls her eyes. "If you don't want to deal with the Winchesters, that's fine, but I going to make you talk to Michael."

Lucifer frowns. "Why? No one's gonna win there except you."

"He asks about you every time he comes to visit," Jo reminds him, not for the first time. "He really does want to talk to you."

"He does," Jack agrees from the other side of the room. "He told me."

"Hey, you're not involved in this conversation," Lucifer tells him with a glare, and Jack just laughs. Wow, you spend about half a year working at a roadside bar, and suddenly your own alternate-timeline son is no longer intimidated by you. How unfair is that?

"Seriously, though, Lucifer," Jo says. "Just talk to Michael. I did the hard part and told him that we're together; the least you can do it acknowledge him."

Lucifer sighs dramatically. "Fine, I'll do it, but only because I know that between you and your mom, there's no way I'm getting out of it."

"Damn right!" Ellen calls from somewhere in the back, and Lucifer jumps. He didn't even know she was listening.

Jo laughs at him. "Aw, is Satan scared of my mom?"

"Of course not," Lucifer says loudly, then leans down to her and says much more quietly, "Yes, I am, and I think you should be, too."

Jo bursts out laughing. "God, why is everyone scared of my mom? She's not that scary!"

Lucifer tilts his hand back and forth in a so-so motion. "Well..."

Jo slaps him on the shoulder playfully. "If you're so scared of my mom, you should help me set everything up before she comes --"

With the snap of his fingers, Lucifer sets the Roadhouse up for company. "Viola."

Jo scoffs. "Well, maybe you good for something."

Lucifer smirks. "Damn right."

~~

Lucifer and Jo are making out in the middle of the Roadhouse -- much to Bobby's chagrin, but when Jo reminded him that the only rule was no kissing out here while the Roadhouse was open, he reluctantly agreed that he didn't have the grounds to stop them -- when the Winchesters and their angels show up. Lucifer pulls back immediately at the sound of the door opening, and when Jo heads over to give them all hugs, Lucifer flies to the corner of the room and sits down at his own private table, just as he said he would. He promised he would stay and he promised he would talk to his brother, but he didn't promise he'd enjoy himself.

With nothing else to do, he does find himself watching them, and it puts a small smile on his lips. Jo practically jumps into Dean's arms for a hug, and he can only imagine the smile on her face. Meanwhile, Jack goes straight to Castiel, and though Lucifer can't make out any words, he can hear the faint sound of Jack's voice as he rambles excitedly about something. Lucifer just hopes it's not Ramsey; he's not sure the Winchesters would want to hear that Jack has befriended the Harvelle's accidental pet hellhound.

And as Lucifer's gaze is skimming the group, Sam happens to glance over at him and their eyes meet. Immediately, Lucifer drops his gaze to the table. This whole "party" is going to be bad enough sitting in the corner of the room and it's only going to get worse when he has to talk to Michael. He'd like to keep awkward interactions with Sam from across the room to a minimum if possible.

Lucifer rests his head in his hand and keeps his eyes glued to the table in his admittedly-desperate attempt to keep to himself. When he hears the flap of wings, he already knows it's Michael, but he finds himself glancing up anyway, just long enough to see him give Jo a hug. Well, isn't that just dandy?

Once again, Lucifer looks down at the table. He drums his fingers on it, making out the unrecognizable beats to various songs just to kill the time. When he hears footsteps approaching, he already knows it's going to be Michael, so he keeps his attention on his mini drum solo.

"Hey."

Or maybe it's Michael.

Lucifer picks his head up, and he sees none other than Sam Winchester sitting across from him. He cocks an eyebrow. "Well, you're the last person I expected to come over here."

Sam gives a small shrug. "Well, you looked like you could use the company."

"Honestly, I was pretty content spending the day by myself," Lucifer admits, "but I do appreciate you trying to make this day less painfully long for me."

"I'm kind of surprised you're here at all," Sam tells him. "I don't think I've ever seen you around when we've come by -- and, you know, Christmas and all that."

Lucifer heaves a dramatic sigh. "Trust me, if I had it my way, I wouldn't be here."

Sam cocks an eyebrow. "What, Jo's making you stay?"

Lucifer nods. It's admittedly a little uncomfortable, but he's not sure why. It's not like Sam doesn't know they're together. Even if they hadn't made it very obvious with the display they put on when the Winchesters showed up, he's sure Jo's mentioned it to them in passing -- not that Lucifer would know, of course; he does his best to stay out of all of that. He asked Jo to tell him how Michael took the news (supposedly he took it well; Lucifer doesn't believe that) and that was all.

"Why?" Sam asks, then adds a quick, "if you don't mind me asking. I just think it's weird that she wants you to celebrate a holiday you don't like."