Liwan´s advice

How should you tell the parents that their child is gone forever? Should you try to prepare them for the bad news slowly and express your condolences? Or should you do it quickly, saying it right into their faces without any false compassion? Is it right to comfort them lying about that the sudden death had some purpose? Or is it better to reveal the truth that it was meaningless and they lost their child for nothing? Is it possible to understand their loss, when you have no kids of your own? And can you even try to understand, without being hypocritical?

Kazuya told them the truth. It was difficult to keep looking into the faces of the Blackfeet Tribe´s Chief and his wife, while he was talking, but he endured it. He described everything, what happened since their small group had left the pueblo after the permission of Elders, in details and didn´t leave out anything.

The face of Flying Feather remained stiff and cold all along, but his eyes revealed the pain over the loss of his only son more than clearly. Manipi´s mother behaved as a good Indian squaw and she didn´t start crying, even though her lips were pressed together in the straight line and her hands clutching the skirt´s cloth were shaking visibly.

This time, Kame didn´t feel guilty for what had happened in the railway workers´ campsite. He tried everything he could to prevent something like that from happening. But that didn´t mean it was easier to talk about how Manipi and many other members of the tribe died in vain.

As expected, Captain Walker demonstrated himself to be quite an understanding man, when Kame and Jin explained their presence in the conflict. It was their luck that Major General Ord stayed in Bozeman and sent only Walker to check on the railway camp.

The rebels´ leader Sharp Fang was dead, as well as the most of other Sioux. So, General Ord could finally have the culprit he wanted. A few soldiers chased after the fugitives, but Captain Walker gave them his word, that Blackfeet Tribe would be left out of any other Army´s interventions. There was only one condition – Blackfeet´s were forbidden to seek revenge for the killed tribe´s members or to help the rest of Sioux rebels. As the requirement was more than understandable and acceptable, Kame agreed with it immediately and assured Captain he would forward the message to the tribe.

The captain let them both leave the battle scene on that very day, just with one urgent request on Kame. Walker asked him to come to Bozeman within the following week, to testify against Math Grenet at the trial...

They met with Liwan and the other two Indians on half-way back. Exactly as Kame presumed, it was not hard for them to escape their Sioux guards. Much harder was for Kame to explain them, what happened meanwhile. Their small group failed in the goal they set for themselves, but at the same time, they succeeded in protecting the rest of the Blackfeet Tribe. Either way, it was clear that their return to the village would not be a happy one...

And so Kame was there now, sitting in front of the mourning parents, aware of the awful failure of their mission... Fortunately, there was one thing, which helped Kame and didn´t let his voice shake. He could feel a warm look on his back, coming from the black-haired gunslinger, who was sitting behind him, closer to the wigwam´s exit. Kame didn´t ask the older one for it, but Jin still went to face the Chief with him. And at that moment, he was really grateful.

Flying Feather heard him out till the end without a word. Kazuya expected questions or even remorse, but he didn´t receive any of it either from the old man or his spouse. When he finished his report about the recent happenings, the Chief just asked him and Jin to leave. So they did, and let the husband and wife to mourn in privacy.

***

Shortly after the return of the small sad group with bad news, it started snowing again. But it was nothing like that crazy snowstorm before. This time, the winter decided to show its nicer face.

The snowflakes were really tiny and they were flying in the air playfully, before they finally reached the earth. The temperatures didn´t drop much, and not even Jin complained about the air conditions. During the first day, the snowing created only a thin dusting on surroundings of the village and almost nobody felt the urge to hide in front of the slight freezing.

*

Kame was away on some meeting with the Shaman for quite a long time and Jin got bored. He set off on a walk around the pueblo, pleased by the fact that all his recent pains were finally gone. Except the stomach which reminded itself to him from time to time, especially after his horse-jumping performance. But that was nothing what could spoil his mood.

The young gunman didn´t dare to bother the adult Indians on his way; he felt too much as a guest for that, and they didn´t pay him much attention anyway. But it seemed that the Indian kids were another story...

It started innocently, just with that small boy Jin had recognized earlier, when they arrived to the pueblo. He spotted the Indian kid following him from the respectful distance. Jin pretended not to see him, wondering how he could awake the boy´s curiosity. He didn´t have to think about it for long, as the kid came closer on own initiative, when Jin started to caress Kuro, who was staying in the fence together with the Indian horses.

The stallion snorted a little, to let Jin know, that the boy was there. He moved to the side and he saw the boy by the corner of his eye. The Indian kid was hiding behind the fence and staring at Kuro wide-eyed.

"Do you like him?" Jin asked, not even stopping the grooming of Kuro´s skin. He didn´t do that for long, and the horse seemed to enjoy the tender treatment. "You don´t have to be scared," he said, when he noticed that the boy flinched back and turned to him. "Do you understand English?"

The small Indian stared at him for a while, before he nodded slowly.

"Great," Jin breathed out in relief. "Do you want to take a look?" he proposed smiling.

The boy hesitated, but then he crawled under the fence and took two careful steps closer.

"Don´t worry, I don´t bite," Jin grinned. "He might," he added, indicating on Kuro, who shook his big head, as if he wanted to deny it.

The Indian´s face showed a very stubborn expression: "No fear," the boy said and finally approached Jin.

"Prove it then," Jin challenged him.

He had to hide the smile, when the Indian boy raised his hand slowly and placed it on Kuro´s long neck. The black horse turned his head a little to look at the unfamiliar kid. The boy repaid his stare with a very cautious expression on his face and didn´t move even an inch. Then Kuro nodded his head, as he would have allowed the boy to touch him and the kid let out a sigh of relief.

Jin gave his precious horse a small cube of brown sugar secretly, as a reward for good behavior, when the excited boy started to fondle the animal. Kuro was a great horse, but usually he couldn´t handle any strangers, so Jin made sure he wouldn´t regret letting the boy come closer.

"Kiiree…" the small Indian murmured happily.

Jin frowned confused: "No, no… He´s Kuro," he said.

The boy shook his head, trying to explain something in Indian language, but when he saw Jin´s face, he thought it over, trying to figure out the word.

"Beutifl?" he tried slowly then.

It took something about three seconds, before it made sense to Jin: "Aah! You mean ´beautiful´!"

The boy cheered up immediately, nodding a few times.

"Obrige tamaši," Jin said with a wide smile, seeing the boy´s honest surprise. "There is a story about how I got him. Do you want to hear it?"

"Story?" the small Indian repeated. "Telling story?"

"Yes," Jin confirmed.

The boy exclaimed something, what Jin didn´t understand. Then he patted Kuro for the last time and took Jin´s hand. With surprising urgency, the boy started to drag him back to the center of village.

"Come. Others. Also story!" he shouted brightly and Jin had no heart to resist him.

*

Kame had just finished the long discussion with the Shaman related to the graves of the recent battle´s casualties. The white soldiers had enough respect to bury all dead under the ground nearby the railway campsite; Captain Walker gave Kame his word for it and the young man trusted him.

Their main problem was how the tribe should take care of them, when they were located so far away. It happened to be quite an issue for Cloud Dancing and the whole Council, because the usual funeral rites for the dead warriors were not performed and their souls could not go on to the Eternal Hunting Grounds without them.

In the end, they agreed on that it was not necessary to replace the graves and the Shaman and a few warriors would go there soon, to remedy the missing ceremony.

Kame was passing by the wigwams, trying hard not to fall into depression. The final outcome of his attempt to keep all Blackfeet´s away from any problems was not as good as he had hoped and it made him wonder if all of that was even worth of it.

His eyes wandered across the groups sitting around three fireplaces. The men were resting after the long day, which they spent by more preparations for the winter season. They had to work on it harder, after their numbers were declined.

Except the adults, there was a completely different group settled around the furthermost fire. Almost all children from the village were seated around it, Liwan was there with them, and to Kame´s surprise also Jin.

The young gunman was saying something, what he couldn´t catch from that distance. Liwan was performing his translator role as usually and Kame noticed that all children were eagerly listening to each word. The cheerful laughing, after Jin finished his speech, made a few Indians to look in that direction, but they just murmured something and nobody seemed to mind the white gunslinger among their kids.

That picture cheered Kame up a little. Jin seemed to be so at peace, cheerful and relaxed in the siege of Indian children. It made him realize, that this was just another characteristic of the older one he had no idea about – Jin obviously liked kids. And they liked him back.

A short sigh escaped Kame´s lips. That smile suited the handsome gunman so much better than a frown…

Suddenly, the dark eyes of the mentioned man looked at him directly and Kame felt like being caught at something. He smiled sheepishly and turned away with the intention to go to their wigwam for some rest. Like that, he didn´t notice Jin leaning over to Liwan´s little sister Beara, whispering something into her ear. Right after that the girl jumped on her feet and with incredible speed, she caught up with Kame in mere ten seconds.

Surprised Kame looked down on the small hands, which grabbed his palm firmly.

"Beara?"

"Come, Kazuya, pleeease…. We want next story!" the girl was pulling him to follow her stubbornly.

"Next story?" Kame repeated confused.

"You can tell story too! We know! Jin told us story! Funny story!" Beara laughed, when she led him toward the cheerfully chatting group. "You too!"

The girl´s hand in his was warm and Kame would have felt horrible if he had slipped away from it, so he just let Beara to drag him right between Liwan and Jin.

"Kame! Kame here!" the children welcomed him excited, and Beara returned to her place proud, that she managed the task, which Jin gave her.

"Did you finish talking with my father?" Liwan asked seriously, but despite that he seemed to be in a good mood too; he was just not as open as the kids.

"Yeah, it was complicated," Kame nodded, standing there somehow absent-minded. That cheerful atmosphere felt unreal, especially after what they have been through recently.

"Don´t just stand here like a stake," Jin commented and at the next moment, the strong hand grabbed Kame´ right wrist, pulling him down to sit on the fur.

Helpless Kame caught the look of the warm eyes, which were unreal too. It was because also Jin´s eyes were smiling now…

"You missed my best story," the older one complained and let his hand go.

Kame gulped down, trying to release the dry throat caused by that warm touch: "Ehm, I´m sorry about that…"

"Never mind, I´ll repeat it to you someday," Jin shrugged, still looking at the younger one, as if he was trying to figure out, what was wrong with him.

But Kame had no intention to spoil the mood, so he avoided that burning glance.

"Kazuya! Story!" Beara reminded him about her previous request.

"Story! Story! Story!" the other kids joined her right away.

Kame couldn´t help but smile at them.

"What did you tell them about, Jin?" he asked curiously, while folding his legs to sit in a more comfortable position.

Jin just laughed and Liwan replied instead of him: "Some really stupid story about his horse," he stated with a forcefully bored expression on his face.

"It was not stupid!" one of Indian boys scolded him surprisingly upset.

"It wasn´t! Was not!" the kids attacked immediately too, so that Liwan raised his hands in defeat, but he seemed quite amused.

"About the horse, huh?" Kame repeated. "So, what about we stay at the animals? Do you want a funny one or scary one?" he asked already turning into the mode, which he usually used with these kids.

"Scary one!!" a brave Indian boy jumped up immediately.

"Really? Everybody?" Kame asked again. "Are you not afraid?"

"No, we are not! Scary story! Please!" the common uproar responded to him.

"I don´t want it," Beara pouted.

"Oh, no! You always coward!" the boy next to her complained.

The girl´s face turned red from shame: "No, I...!" she stopped talking and reconsidered. "Huff, all right… But Jin protect me!"

Beara got over the legs of other kids and ended up in the lap of surprised Jin. Liwan stared at his small sister in utter shock, not able to comment her behavior. And he was probably shocked even more, when Akanishi didn´t object a thing about it.

"All right, don´t worry, squirt," the black-haired one poked into the girl´s face cheerfully. "I won´t let any beast harm you."

Beara dedicated a victorious smile to her protector, made herself comfortable inside his arms and looked at Kame in expectation. He suspected her to act a scared one, only because she wanted to do something like this, but Jin obviously didn´t mind that at all.

"You can start, Kame," Jin said, waking him up from his daydreaming.

All of that, cheerful children, the big fire, which successfully chased away the cold, baffled Liwan and smiling Jin, worked as a magical potion on Kame. He repaid Jin´s look this time, feeling much better than a few minutes ago.

"All right, then… I will tell you a terrifying story about… hunting a bear…"

Jin chuckled on that and the excited kids reacted so loudly, that not long after that, when Kame was just on the beginning of his narration, even some adults came to listen to it...

*

It was the best evening they have had in a very long time.

The kids were gasping in astonishment and Beara was huddling to Jin´s chest, when Kame finished his story. Right after that the old shaman appeared in the dark, which fell onto the pueblo meanwhile, and standing adults let him pass through.

The Shaman sat down next to his son and took out the cedar flute. Starting playing on it, he silenced everybody up. The high melody was cutting the cold air, reaching up to the rocks and back to them with quiet echoes.

If only all evenings could be like this... Kame thought gloomily.

"Kazu... Can you tell the Shaman that it was really beautiful, please?" Jin asked after the song ended and most of Indians headed to their wigwams. The children were supposed to go to their beds too, but all of them remained on their seats.

"I understand, young Akanishi," the Shaman stated in English, before Kame could utter a thing. "And thank you," the old man made a shallow bow, got up and disappeared in the darkness again.

"You brought some instrument with you too, right?" Liwan asked suddenly in a friendly tone. "In that strange box."

His statement awoke the children´s attention, as they started whispering.

"Well, yes…" Jin admitted hesitantly. "A guitar."

"What is that?" one Indian boy asked.

"We want to see!" another one joined his friend.

"What is guitar?" the kids requested.

"Hush!" Liwan scolded them. "You should go to sleep already, isn´t that right?!"

"NO!!" the choir denial sounded around the fireplace.

"Well, I can show it to you, that´s not a problem..." Jin said slowly.

"Play it! Play it!" another shouting came immediately.

At that moment, Jin´s smile faded, as well as Kame´s.

"I´d like to… Really, but…" the young gunman hesitated.

Kame glanced at him and saw how Jin´s eyes lowered to observe his fingers.

"Leave it, all of you," the younger one stated firmly, trying to save Jin from unnecessary explanations. "Next time, all right?"

"Nooo... Pleeease, we want Jin play guitar!!"

"Look, I cannot do it... I´m sorry, kids," Jin said in a sad voice.

"But why? Why not? Mean! Mean Jin!" the complaints were coming from all sides.

"Shut it up everyone! Or I will make you clean my father´s cauldrons for a whole day!" Liwan had already noticed that there was something wrong with the guitar issue and tried to calm the greedy group down. Some kids pouted unsatisfied, some grinned at the Indian, but they all fell silent.

"You see… I…" Jin tripped over the word, but continued right away. "I have to use my nails for it," he explained slowly, raising his hands. "But look… I don´t have them. Yet…"

The children´s eyes were wide as plates, when they stared at Jin´s fingertips in the light of fire. Liwan didn´t need any more explanations and he seemed to regret his earlier question a lot.

During the short silence, Kame realized that he was keeping a connection with Jin unconsciously, by touching his knee with his own and he was doing it for some time already. But he didn´t move away or say anything. The guitar´s topic was such a cruel reminder of beaten up Jin that he had to focus his energy just on the calm breathing.

Jin tried to smile at everybody encouragingly: "They have to grow up again yet. Sometime later, I will play for you, all right?" he promised.

To everyone´s surprise, Beara, who had been very quiet till that moment, took one of Jin´s palms into her little hands and observed the missing nails closely, frowning deeply.

"It hurt?" she asked and looked up to her protector´s face.

This time, Jin´s smile was honest: "Not anymore," he assured her.

Despite his statement, the kids remained conspicuously silent.

"All right, that is enough. Your mothers are waiting for you already!" Liwan clasped his hands. "Come on, into your beds and no excuses!" he added strictly, when some children started to complain again.

Very slowly, the seats around their fireplace emptied, as the kids left one after another, calling their thanks and good nights to all three men staying.

"It goes for you too," Liwan stared at his sister, who kept cowering in Jin´s arms, as if she could hide there.

In the end also Beara left Jin´s protection unwillingly and after sticking the tongue out at her big brother, she ran off in the direction of her home. Three of them remained alone. Also other fireplaces were abandoned already and just a few Indians assigned for night guards were still outside.

"I am sorry I asked about that," Liwan said after a few seconds.

Jin kept staring at his hands, when he replied quietly: "It´s all right, you didn´t know…"

"I regret it anyway," the Indian insisted. "I started bad topic like that," he added gloomily.

"Look, Bear," Jin stated mockingly, looking at the red man finally. "It´s really fine, I don´t mind that. This was a great evening, completely worth of this."

"Bear?" Liwan frowned surprised.

Kame tried to give Jin an approaching look, but it turned out to be an amused one anyway.

"What? You don´t like it?" Jin asked, looking as pure innocence.

"I think you should go to sleep too," the Indian reacted stiffly.

"I will, but only when Kazuya comes with me," Akanishi grinned.

Liwan raised his eyebrows at him: "What is this condition?"

"I´m afraid of the dark," Jin reacted immediately, already on his feet.

Liwan was sitting there, watching as Kazuya accepted the offered hand and let Akanishi help him to stand up. The fire reflections were playing on the faces of both young men, who hadn´t realized yet, how their outer act faded away, when they looked at each other. They couldn´t see how Kazuya´s eyes were shining and how the gentle smile was brightening Akanishi´s face. But Liwan saw all of it...

The older one let go of Kame´s hand and turned to Liwan again.

"I´d wish you a good night, but I was told you ´sleep´ all the time, so it would be useless, I guess…" Akanishi assumed, still in that mocking mood of his.

Liwan just repaid the young gunman´s glance without a word, pondering also the way how the two of them could influence each other´s mood. That something what he couldn´t, or didn´t want to name before, was something more than friendship and it seemed that both youngsters had already admitted it.

Grinning Akanishi turned away to leave and Kame moved to follow him with a soft smile on his lips.

"Hey… You two…" Liwan spoke from the sudden impulse, sooner than they could make even three proper steps.

They turned back to him with the questioning expressions on their faces. Liwan was not sure, what made him stop them and what led him to say the following words. Maybe he just wanted them, and especially Kame, to know that he knew. He didn´t want to pretend that he had no idea about what was going on between them. Or it was something else... maybe, but it would be useless to think about it any further.

"If you want to keep it secret, do not be so obvious."

His statement made both Kame and his companion stiffen like statues.

"What are you talking about?" Akanishi asked without a trace of previous humor in his voice.

"Do not bother to deny," Liwan huffed. "I know Kame and I am not blind. If you behave like this, even those kids will notice something eventually."

Liwan overstated the truth deliberately. Neither Akanishi, nor Kame were bad at play-acting that there was nothing more than friendship between them; it was all about the little but very specific things. And it was necessary to make both of them understand, what they can and cannot do in front of other people. Especially when they were supposed to return among White Faces soon. At least, that was how Liwan justified to himself, why he had started that conversation on the first place.

Akanishi was frowning at him, half-standing in the darkness beyond the reach of the fire, while Kame approached closer again, so that Liwan could see his apologetic expression. As expected, Kazuya was the first one to realize, what Liwan wanted to point out.

"Liwan… I´m sorry I didn´t tell you… It´s just that we thought…"

"Kame, I am not angry," Liwan interrupted the useless apology, even though his stomach made a painful somersault at the second Kazuya confirmed what he only guessed till that moment. "That decision was yours. If you do not want to tell, I have no right to ask you otherwise. Even though you know it is all right here," he reminded his friend. "Nobody from our tribe would judge you two for being more than friends..."

A strange shining appeared in Kame´s eyes, when he sighed deeply: "I know… But…"

"You do not have to explain. Really," Liwan assured him. "I just needed to say this, for you to know."

"I appreciate that a lot," Kame seemed to calm down.

Not like Akanishi, who stepped forward too: "Will you keep this for yourself?" he asked in a very cold voice. The older one changed his mood so quickly, it was almost scary.

"Do I look like a talkative grandmother to you?" Liwan asked calmly. "Why would I warn you about this then?"

"Just asking," Jin reacted sharply.

Liwan sighed: "As I said – this is between you two," he stated looking right into Akanishi´s eyes. "It would be my business only in one case…"

"And that would be?" Akanishi asked defiantly.

"If Kame gets hurt," Liwan replied simply, and this time, he was the one hiding a threat in his tone.

The black-haired gunslinger repaid his sharp glance without blinking, while Kame´s face turned from nervous to upset. Liwan could imagine that his friend didn´t like the two of them talking about him as he was not even there.

"Fine. We have a deal then," Akanishi said in the end. "Good night, Liwan."

After that, the gunman turned away for the second time, leaving with fast steps.

"Thank you, Liwan," Kame spoke after a silent moment. "I understand what you mean by this... And I really appreciate what you said," he repeated seriously.

Liwan knew the younger one well enough to realize, that he said that also to remedy Akanishi´s reaction.

"I think that your boyfriend does not feel the same way," Liwan taunted him.

Kazuya flushed a little; he seemed quite unsure about the topic. He probably didn´t know how exactly he should talk with Liwan about something like this. Well, it was a little... unusual.

"I will talk to him," Kame promised. "Thanks once again. See you tomorrow…"

Liwan watched the slim figure of his best friend to disappear in the evening´s darkness, in the same direction where Akanishi left. Then he breathed out deeply and looked into the small flames. In the end, it was not as difficult as he was afraid. He didn´t know when exactly it happened, but he was somehow reconciled with the close relation of those two already. The outcome like that felt somewhat inevitable...

"I am proud of you, my son."

Liwan flinched in surprise at the voice of his father. The Shaman was sitting on his right side, as if he was there for the whole time and not like he had just appeared.

"It was not easy, but you dealt with it well," Cloud Dancing was smiling satisfied.

"How can you know, Father?" Liwan asked him still baffled. "You were not…" he stopped in the middle of his sentence, observing that knowing smile closely. "How do you know? Are they really that obvious?" he asked then.

"No... They are not," the old man shook his head. "It is just that I have been through the same..."

Liwan´s eyes widened at that: "Father?!"

"Oh, before I met your mother of course," the Shaman assured him immediately, as if he knew what was going on in Liwan´s mind. "And as for you... You know Kazuya too well not to notice that he cares about someone so deeply."

"I would have rather not noticed that..." Liwan murmured poking with a twig in the coals gloomily, unconsciously copying Akanishi´s gesture.

"Akanishi is a good man, kind-hearted," his father continued. "Kazuya will be in good hands."

"I am not so sure about that."

The Shaman looked at his son´s face carefully, his expression going serious.

"The time will show us," he stated wisely. "But I am glad you accepted this. I have a feeling they will need all the help they can get yet. Keep being their friend, my son…"

Liwan got worried hearing the words: "What do you mean by that, Father?"

"Just what I say. The Spirits are restless. And bad things are going to happen again…"

*

Kame found Jin preparing for a sleep in their wigwam. In the poor light of a small fire, he couldn´t see the older one´s face well, but he somehow felt that Jin was upset.

"Jin?"

"Uhm? What?" the other reacted just murmuring and not looking at Kame.

"Liwan won´t tell about us to anyone. He meant it well…"

"I know," the stiff response came.

"Are you really so angry because he noticed?" Kame asked, not able to cover the hurt tone of his voice.

Jin slipped under the blanket and glanced at him: "No," another deadly short reply came out of his lips.

"So, what is it?"

The dark eyes made Kame feel anxious, before Jin looked away, lied down and pulled the blanket up to his neck.

"Nothing. I´m going to sleep."

Kame´s throat got stuck by a bitter feeling. He could see only the top of Jin´s head now. Those mood switches of the older one were still something quite difficult to handle for him.

"Did I say something what pissed you off?" he tried the last question.

After a few seconds, the face appeared above the warm cloth.

"No, Kazuya, you did nothing wrong," Jin said softly, that annoyance still there, but not directed on him. "This is not about you…"

Kame was honestly confused, but Jin didn´t give him any space for more questions.

"Good night," he said and quite decisively hid himself under the blanket again.

"Good night…" Kazuya replied quietly and started to prepare for some sleep too. Even though he doubted highly, he would be able to sleep well during that night.