Chapter 93: Die! Just kidding

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So, this chapter is kind of a filler. But who cares?

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(Magnus POV)

I wasn't surprised at all when Percy materialized next to me, although materialize was not the right term. Percy appeared 10 feet high in the air, just like that.

Then gravity took notice of him and pulled him down and he fell, flat on his stomach and his face hit the grass.

"Hi." I said not at all concerned, I learned that the body of an Einherjar could take a lot. Percy's cat, who I've been stuck with since Percy randomly disappeared, hurried towards his boss and began to lick his face.

"Stop licking my face." Percy groaned and tried to push Rebel away. Rebel skillfully leaped over Percy's arm. Blitzen helped Percy to his feet, he groaned a few times and glared at the sky. "Seriously?"

"Where've you been?" I asked Percy. Percy frowned, "Where are we?"

He glazed around and he frowned, like was not particularly new for him to crash down on random spots. Maybe it was a thing the Greeks did a lot.

We were standing on a sunlit meadow. In the distance, wildflowers dusted rolling green hills. The breeze smelled of lavender. The light was warm and rich as if the air had turned to butter.

"Where are we?" Percy asked again as he was done glancing around, then he turned to Blitzen. "Oh my Gods, you are in sunlight!"

"This isn't regular sunlight. We're not on Midgard any more." I shared with Percy will Blitzen groaned, which gave me the idea he did not like it.

Percy rechecked the hills, "It looks like Midgard."

"Where have you been?" I asked Percy.

"I could ask you the same thing." Percy asked with a smirk.

Rebel meowed at his feet, staring at Percy. "Fine," Percy said and he explained how he had a dream meeting with Hel.

"You met Hel?" Blitzen asked, "Odin's almighty, that's bad."

Percy smirked, "Nah, it wasn't that bad."

After that he explained how he ended up making a bet and used Yggdrasil to bring him to me. He looked uncomfortable while he told us how he got here, which made me suspect he left parts out. "So that's how I ended up here," Percy said, "Now what happened to you guys? And where is here?"

I coughed, "Actually I don't know where here is either."

Blitzen grimaced, "'This is Folkvanger, the Field of the Army … or you could translate it as the People's Battlefield."

"Volkswagen?" I asked, Blitzen shot me a glare. "So how did you guys end up in Folkvanger? And where are Sam and Hearth?"

I told him how we tried to look for him this morning but that we couldn't find him, I had insisted we kept looking but we had a deadline. I described how we went to the "make way for ducklings." Statue's and used it to jump from world to world.

"Wait the you guys used the ducklings statue?" Percy asked with amazement. "Does it work like a pyramid or obelisk?"

He saw our confused faces and quickly waved it away. "Doesn't matter. So what happened after that?"

"We had Ratatosk on our tail when we climbed the world tree," I said and shuddered. "We got seperated from Sam and Hearth while trying to escape her."

Percy frowned, "And now were here?"

"Seems like it."

"So why are we here?" Percy asked glancing at the grass, like it contained some kind of monster.

"Come. we need to get going." Blitzen groaned.

"Where are we going?" I asked, following Blitzen who was walking towards the hilltop. I heard music coming from the other side, like they were keeping a party.

"If we are lucky she is not home." Blitzen said.

"Wait!" Percy said. "Gunilla told me about this place."

"She told you about Folkswagen?"

Percy didn't answered, instead he just followed Blitzen.

At the top of the hill I froze. "Whoa."

Down the other side, green fields stretched to the horizon.

Meadows were strewn with picnic blankets. Crowds of people were hanging out – eating, laughing, chatting, playing music, flying kites, tossing beach balls.

It was the world's largest, most laidback outdoor concert, minus the concert. S

ome folks were dressed in various bits of armour. Most had weapons, but they didn't seem very interested in using them.

In the shade of an oak tree, a couple of young ladies were sword fighting, but after crossing blades a few times they got bored, dropped their weapons and started chatting.

Another guy lounged in a lawn chair, flirting with the girl on his left while he casually parried attacks from the guy standing on his right.

Blitz pointed to the crest of the next hill about half a mile away, where a strange palace gleamed. It looked like an upside down Noah's Ark made of gold and silver. "Sessrumnir,' said Blitzen. 'The Hall of Many Seats."

"No it isn't," Percy said. "This is the fucking Elysium."

"It's an army." Blitzen corrected Percy as we began to stroll through the fields towards the upside boat."

We hadn't gone twenty feet before a guy on a nearby picnic blanket called, "Hey, Blitzen! What's up, dude?"

Blitzen ground his teeth so hard I could hear them popping.

"Hello, Miles."

"Yeah, I'm good!"

Miles raised his sword absently as another guy in beach trunks and a vest charged towards him with a battleaxe. The attacker screamed, "DIE! Ha, ha, just kidding."

Then he walked away eating a chocolate bar.

"Warriors?" Percy asked. "This is just a Norse version of Elysium."

"Yeah, well," Blitz said, "these fallen are just as powerful as the einherjar, but they have a different attitude. This realm is one little subsection of Vanaheim – sort of the Vanir gods' flipside version of Valhalla."

Percy frowned, Rebel ran away and began to play with a girl who was sitting in the shadow of a tree.

"Don't!" Percy shouted and began to chase his cat, making a few excuses towards the people he almost ran into.

Most of them were not particularly bothered by Percy, instead they began to compliment him or cheer for the Greek chasing his cat.

"Nice cat dude!" One of them yelled.

"Awesome watch!"

"Your hair looks cool."

I tried to picture myself spending eternity here. Valhalla had its good points, but as far as I'd seen it didn't have picnics or beach balls, and I definitely wouldn't describe it as mellow. Still … I wasn't sure I liked Folkvanger any better.

"So why are we here?" I asked Blitzen.

"You try to stop Surt and the World tree guided your way. apparently that path led us through Folkvanger. Unfortunately, I think I know why. Let's go pay our respects before I lose my nerve."

As we approached the gates, I realized Sessrumnir wasn't just built to look like an upside-down ship. It actually was an upsidedown ship.

The rows of tall windows were oar slots. The sloping walls of the hull were made from clinkered gold planks riveted with silver nails. The main entrance had a long awning that would've served as a gangplank.

Percy finally managed to catch Rebel and had him tugged under his arm. "So why is this palace a ship?"

"What?" Blitzen fiddled nervously with his carnation. "Not so unusual. Your Norse ancestors made lots of buildings by turning their ships upside down. In the case of Sessrumnir, when the Day of Doom comes around, they'll just flip the palace over and voilà, it's a vessel big enough for all the warriors of Folkvanger to sail nobly to their deaths. Sort of like we're doing now."

He led me inside.

I'd been expecting a gloomy interior like the hold of a ship, but the Hall of Many Seats was more like a cathedral.

The ceiling rose all the way to the keel. The oar-hole windows crosshatched the air with bars of light.

The entire space was open, no separate rooms or partitions – just clusters of sofas, comfy chairs, throw pillows and freestanding hammocks, most of which were occupied by snoring warriors. I hoped the half million inhabitants of Folkvanger liked one another's company, because there was no privacy.

Me being me, the main thing I wondered was where they all went to the bathroom.

Down the centre of the hall ran an aisle of Persian carpets, flanked by braziers with glowing spheres of gold light. At the far end stood a throne on a raised dais. Blitz marched in that direction, ignoring the warriors who greeted him with '"Dude!" and "Sup, Dwarf Man!" and "Welcome home!"

Welcome home?

"Home?" Percy asked out loud.

In front of the dais, a cosy fire crackled in the hearth.

Piles of jewellery and precious gems glittered here and there as if somebody had swept them up just to get them off the floor. On either side of the steps lounged a calico house cat the size of a sabre-toothed tiger.

The throne was carved from wood as soft and buttery as the light ... linden wood, maybe.

The back was draped with a cloak of downy feathers like on the underside of a falcon. In the throne itself sat the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

She looked maybe twenty years old, surrounded by an aura of golden radiance that made me realize what Blitzen meant earlier when he'd said the daylight here wasn't normal.

The entire realm of Folkvanger was warm and bright, not because of the sun, but because it basked in this woman's power. Her blonde hair fell across one shoulder in a single long plait. Her white halter top showed off her tanned shoulders and smooth midriff.

Her knee-length skirt was belted with a gold braid holding a sheathed knife and a ring of keys. Around her neck was a dazzling piece of jewellery a lacework collar of gold and gems, like Ran's net in miniature, except with rubies and diamonds instead of sailors' souls and hubcaps.

"Aphrodite?" Percy muttered confused.

"Oh dear," the woman said. "No I'm not Aphrodite, but thanks for the compliment."

"Then who are you?" Percy asked.

Blitzen knelt, and I followed, knowing that displeasing this woman was one of the most stupid things to do.

I knew who she was, though I only saw a drawing of her in a children's book.

The goddess of love was very pretty! She had cats!

The woman fixed her gaze on me.

"The Greek and the son of Frey, how wonderful." She said, S

"Hi mom." Blitzen said reluctantly.

"MOM?!" Percy and I both cried out.

The woman chuckled. "Yes, I am Blitzen's mom. I am Freya."