Barriers vs Determination Part 1

"Take me to the nearest Astronomical Observatory", I tell my GPS.

Today is the last day of my week-long suspension. I guess I have done enough work on the ship for them to put me on a financial time-out for sneaking into sacred Supreme space. Or maybe they figured suspension would give me more time to ponder their threats and intimidation. Maybe they even thought a week away from seeing their faces would make me forget what was done to Mama and Daddy. Or, just maybe the amalgamation of hell that has occured would discourage me from all things Earth related.

If so, then they would lose their shit if they knew that all this drama has made me long for the Earth even more. I am not so much interested in knowing more about life there anymore. I want to live it. I need to learn about that life through my five senses, not my processor. I need more than a blastback.

"You have arrived at your destination"

The polished silver of the building gleams in the light despite the fact it should be dark out soon. The cylinder shaped figure is pretty different from what l'm used to. It's wider than it is tall. I expect there to be just about three stories inside.

"Hello, do you have a session booked?" a bright lensed man asks me the second I step into the entrance.

"Uh, no. Damn, I didn't even think about that. I just wanted to use a telescope and look at planets and stuff."

"Oh, no problem! Down the hall to your right you'll see the room labeled Space Sighting. Just sign your first and last name here next to your grabber print".

He presses a button and the top of the desk separates and lifts upwards so the digital form sits upright in front of me to sign. I sign it, gripper to screen and place my grabber beside it for processing.

"Okay, looks like there's plenty of room for you to join Ms.Castillo! Enjoy."

"Thanks".

I follow his directions down the hall taking deep breaths. I'm not sure whether I'm nervous or excited. I place my slightly clammy grabber onto the print identifier beside the door.

Moon Castillo

Access Accepted

Wow.

As soon as I step into the room I notice the wall on the left side. Well, really the wall is just a big screen showing footage of Mechanon floating in space. I have only ever seen holograms or images but never the real thing. The globe, though a grey shade, appears to shine as silver like it's reflecting light from the moon and the stars. Subtle accents of neon colors can be spotted along the corners and outlines of countries, oceans, forests and other geographic territories. Glowing blue, pink, purple, yellow, orange and green lines and smudges decorate the sphere. And to top it all off, a beaming blue light surrounds the planet. From this view, you would think Mechanon is the most beautiful world to be in.

"Hello, have you ever used a telescope before?", a woman dressed in a metallic blazer with pants to match asks me over my shoulder.

"Uh, no I haven't."

"Alright then, follow me".

She leads me to the golden jumbo looking telescope sitting before the front window wall, the first one you see when stepping into the room. It looks like a big cylinder being balanced on a tripod that is two times shorter but three times wider than regular. The lens made to be looked through is about the size of a mini television but with a circular frame.

I take a seat in the golden chair in front of the telescope lens. It has the same structure as the chair they have you sit in at the dentist.

"Okay, so this telescope is special and what we typically recommend for beginners. It pretty much skips over the technicalities of a regular telescope. So, we always start off with these safety glasses for extra precaution."

She hands me the gold, wide rimmed glasses as she puts on a pair herself.

"Then we just pull this lever at the side,"

A keyboard stretches out towards me from the center of the telescope and stops to perfectly hover above my lap.

"and you just type in the planet you wish to see. Real easy."

"Oh okay," I try to hide my anxious grin.

E-A-R-T-H

''Locating Planet Earth....'' appears on the telescope lens.

The lady's shoulders drop. She slowly turns her head to look at me and I see that her face has dropped, too. The look she gives me is like a cross between disappointment and surprise.

"Wait, what's wrong?"

Don't tell me this place is anti-Earth too! They wouldn't inform the Supremes would they?!

"Nothing, it's just that Earth is one of least interesting planets in the solar system. At least for most people."

I squint at her.

"Is it the least interesting or is there just the least information about it?"

She pauses and blankly stares into the lens showing a zooming view through space.

"Forget about it. I'm just saying stuff", I force a friendly giggle. I seem to have forgotten that I'm under the close watch for doing what I just did - saying too much.

She chuckles along but she still looks confused and taken aback.

Planet Earth - Located.

I hold my breath.

"Wait.....that's it right there?"

"Yes ma'am that is Planet Earth." She answers in a bored tone.

"It... it looks like Mechanon."

The shapes of the countries, bodies of water, forests and territories are the exact same. There is no shimmer or shine. The colors are calm shades of blue, green and brown with wisps of white. It looks as if it is encased in glass to hold its shape but if the glass were to break the insides it would be intangible. A world that you walk through but can't touch.

But I have.

I have touched it.

*****

*Moon leaves the observatory. She drives to a parking lot that is just before a hill that leads to a park.*

All the grass and flowers, all from mechanic making. Elements that were naturally occuring mixed in with design from workers. Where did they get the original nature components? What if there were no natural components at all? What would give us oxygen? Would that just be the end of all mechanisms?

What about the stars? Are they powered by the same electricity that fuels our existence. Their creation could not have been touched by any worker of Mechanon, right? How would that even work?

Power in each Pump

Existence from Electricity

It is the Current we Create

That makes up this Facility

Maybe that's how it is for all of Mechanon. If not, then why would Mama want to move to Earth instead of just another country or town. Why would I decide to live there years later instead of going somewhere else in Mechanon. In a world where its basis is mechanical, is it really life? No creation that has been built has life. That's just scientific. No, its common sense. I have worked on machines that walk, talk, process, do work, follow instruction, consume and exert energy like human mechanisms.

If that's what it means to be alive, then why have I always felt dead.

The sensations that have coursed through me since then, the currents that surged through me in every blastback, whether it was good or bad.

They weren't sensations or currents. They were something that can't be constructed or instructed by any human mechanism. It was intrinsic and natural. They were emotions. The expressions they only showed on the faces of people in the movies broadcasted in the Entertainment Areas. I never noticed or heard anyone talk about it in real life.

Well, besides Mama.

In the most real and concrete moments of my life, emotions were what I experienced - no, felt.

That ability has outlived all the conditioning, processor control, operation, construction and suppression that I have been put under.

That shit does not happen with machines.

Air is a natural element. Is that why nobody can stop it from surrounding us and entering our bodies. We have body parts that can be controlled internally and externally. The only parts of me they haven't been able to control were the parts of me they can't see.

Just like how they can't control Cindy's secret enthusiasm or Harry's noseyness.

They can't control that for anybody because they didn't design any of us.

Even when we think we are following their lead there are still those parts of us that linger around.

If they didn't create our design, does that mean the source of our being is the same one as the air?

The elements in nature and space move to sustain life. All without human direction.

What happens when you take the natural elements away?

The same thing that happened when they took my natural elements away.

YOU die.