I'm Actually Leaving

The sunlight and crisp, cool air that came off of the sea made Henry feel like he was in some kind of dream.

Beautiful weather and an easy workday felt like the universe's way of telling him to reconsider the apprenticeship under Sir Trenton.

He realized he was really just stressed about what his mom was going to say when he revealed to her his intentions and how he was going to have to leave for days on end.

The sun was starting the other half of its journey downwards where it would drive through the horizon and into the sea.

Henry wiped the sweat dripping down his forehead as he put away his broom for the day.

His hair was getting long and he had to push it out of his eyes.

Since he didn't have an early morning the next day, he decided to walk to his aunt's, knowing that's where his mother would be.

He waved to a few people walking home from their various jobs and he noticed the way their eyes dropped to the sword at his side. It made him feel self-conscious and he picked up his speed.

The events of the past month made people he spent his entire life around stop trusting him and he didn't think it was fair. What if, for some reason, he wasn't able to be a knight after his apprenticeship and he had nowhere to go?

Knowing he was briskly walking, the time it took to get to his Aunt Sylvia's house was still entirely too short. He didn't have time to get his thoughts together or how he would bring up his plan to his mother or aunt.

He raised his hand with the intention of going inside, but he couldn't bring himself to do it quite yet.

The thought of having to leave his mother was weighing heavily on him again.

Would she be able to be happy for him?

Without knocking, he pushed through the front door and saw the two sisters sitting at the table with bowls of stew in front of them. The sight was familiar, but it had been a while since he came to visit and he felt guilty.

"Nephew," his aunt said. "It's been a while. Sit down and eat."

Celia pulled out a chair for her son and pat the seat with a smile.

"We weren't expecting you, but you made it just in time," Celia said. "There's plenty."

It was another day of only half a loaf of bread and the second he smelled the stew, his mouth watered and his stomach growled. It took no convincing to make him sit at the table.

"Your mother told me you won the competition," Sylvia remarked. "And you've only been working with a sword for such a short amount of time."

Sylvia nudged Celia and gave a wicked smile, remembering the part of her story where she made the peasant knight lose. Celia shot her an annoyed look in return.

"Did anything else happen?" Sylvia enquired further.

Henry was shoveling food into his mouth, but his aunt's voice caused him to pause and look up at her. She spoke like she knew something already.

"I-I-" he glanced at his mother, instantly feeling guilty about having lied to her before. "I got a little cut, but a knight sewed it up and I'm fine now."

He wouldn't tell them about the poisoning.

Celia jumped from her chair.

"Where is it, Henry?"

"It's fine, mother," he held her hand as he spoke, willing her to calm down. "I've still been working and I'm not dead."

"What kind of prize is involved in something like that?" Sylvia asked.

Henry considered asking why she was feigning ignorance. Despite her questioning, she seemed to already know everything.

Since when was his aunt such a fan of knights? Growing up, she was the one who spoke badly about the knights the most.

"Actually," Henry said and scratched his head. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Two sets of eyes pierced him and he felt exposed.

"I have been given the opportunity to be an apprentice and train inside Hydrogia's walls with the knights," Henry explained.

"No!" Celia blurted out. However, she calmed herself and restarted. "No, Henry. You've already been hurt. What else are you going to have to go through?"

"Mother," he started speaking and pushed away from the table, no longer feeling hungry. "It's going to make our lives so much better."

"What are you going to do when they don't accept you because of your status?" his mother asked.

The room seemed to fall silent as she pointed this out.

Even though she was right, it felt like she was purposefully trying to break his confidence.

Her question caused him to want to hide the fact that the commander came from the peasantry. He wanted to be a knight of his own volition and not because someone who was formerly a peasant felt bad for him.

Realization struck him and he thought his mother saying he was going to get hurt meant she doubted his skill. He felt he had been working too hard for her to doubt him like that.

"Mother," he said and turned back toward the table. "I've changed since I started training under the knights. I feel stronger. I feel alive. Father told me I wouldn't be able to regret my life if I found something that made me feel alive." He wore a pained expression on his face and said, "Why don't you want that for me?"

"Henry…" Sylvia started talking, but Celia quickly raised her hand, asking her sister to stop talking.

The expression he wore reminded Celia so much of her deceased husband, she couldn't help moving forward. She put a hand on her son's cheek and gave him a sad smile.

"I knew I couldn't keep you with me forever," Celia said. "It's selfish of me to not let you grow up. That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Mom," he said, "I don't want to leave you, but I can give you a better life than what we have now. Live with Aunt Sylvia while I'm away."

Sylvia sighed, knowing it would come to this when her nephew decided to finally grow up and move out. However, she was going to have to take some of her experiments out of the spare room and store them elsewhere.

"I guess you can, sister," Sylvia responded. "I'll just have to move around a few things first."

"The knights already promised me that the money towards my apprenticeship will go towards you so you can keep writing," he said, knowing it was the most important thing in her life.

Eventually, the family had to call it a night and parted ways.

Henry had a couple more days at the stable so he needed to get some rest since he knew it meant he wouldn't be eating very well as compared to when he was around the knights.

As he lay in bed, trying to shut his eyes and will himself to sleep, he couldn't help daydreaming.

He wondered if he would ever look as cool as the commander did with monster blood covering him from head to toe. The thought of getting sprayed like that made his stomach church just as it did when he cut the goblin in half.

That's what the romance novels his mom wrote were missing: the stench of monster blood and the way a princess wouldn't be able to handle seeing a hero after they were done slaying monsters.

A small smile appeared on his face as he thought of the princess and her golden blonde hair.

He wondered what she was doing right now or if she went to bed as early as he did. She probably didn't have to be anywhere early and could stay up late by firelight.

He asked himself if he would ever be able to see her ever again.

The floral smell that came from her skin as he kissed the back of her hand gave him shivers. He wondered if he would ever smell something so beautiful. Thoughts like this made him fear he was going to be alone forever since he couldn't have the princess, nor would he find someone that compares to her.

Her looks were unmatched, but he thought he would carry her smell with him forever.

His daydreams quickly turned into regular dreams.