I'll Be Back Soon

The commander had told everyone that they shouldn't excessively train in order to save up energy for the journey ahead, but Henry couldn't help burning off the nervous energy that found a home inside of him.

He used a practice sword so his arm wouldn't get fatigued, but he needed to stay active. If he thought about the movements he made to control a blade, he would think less about the horrors he would likely face after the two-week journey to the north.

As he sliced the air from the center to his right side, the blade suddenly stopped as it met something hard.

Commander Callum Lothian stood in front of Henry, having caught the wooden blade in his hand. He had a displeased expression on his face and he didn't let go of the sword. As usual, the expression instantly chilled Henry to his core more than the bad weather ever could.

"I thought I said no practicing," he reminded Henry in a cold tone. "I won't have apprentices holding back the expedition."

Henry suddenly bowed and let go of the sword, feeling ashamed that he had directly gone against what the commander had said. He had made sure to go far from the fortress and only do it when he had a bit of free time.

"I'm sorry, sir," Henry immediately said. "I won't hold back the expedition. I've just been too nervous to hold still."

Commander Lothian waited until Henry stood up straight again before handing back the practice sword.

"I've told you before to stop bowing at me like I'm some kind of noble."

Henry was on the verge of apologizing again when the commander cut him off.

"You have nothing to fear following Sir Trenton into battle," Commander Lothian said with certainty. Though, his voice was softer than Henry had ever heard it and he was surprised. "The knight has the heart of a lion."

Henry didn't know why he felt walls come down at the tone of the commander's voice and he felt he could confess what he felt.

"I'm not worried about my safety," Henry admitted. "I'm worried about disappointing those who have to rely on me. What if they're harmed for something I've done?"

The commander crossed his arms over his chest as if he were physically rejecting Henry's words. It made him uncomfortable to finally find another person he could relate to among the sea of knights and apprentices who came from average to privileged backgrounds.

He ran a hand over his short black hair in frustration, unable to find the words to formulate his thoughts correctly. His first reaction tended to be anger, but he knew better than to behave like an untrained animal.

"Despite what was ingrained into you your whole life, you're more than just a tool for nobility," the commander finally said.

The commander felt uncomfortable at his own words and found himself stepping away from the apprentice who reminded him of so many things he was trying to forget. It seemed that he could run away and gain power in order to escape the peasantry, but it would always find a way to seep back into his life.

Henry thought back to the interaction he had with Earl Burien and how it made him feel like he was simply escaping peasantry for another cycle that would leave him useful for the rich, but not valuable as a person himself.

While Henry didn't know how to respond to the commander, he couldn't help but see the man in a new light. He was trying to reach Henry in a way that others never bothered to.

"The most interesting thing about peasants to the nobles is the way that they dive into danger with no regard for their lives, but I want you to show them that you're far more than some pawn," the commander finished his request with a shake of his head and he decided to leave. "Stop training. Get rested and say goodbye to those important to you."

The commander had started walking away by the time he was done speaking.

Seeing a peasant so willing to dive into danger had caused something to erupt inside of him that he hadn't seen in a while.

Despite all of the other apprentices under him, he was determined to make sure Henry survived the battle ahead. He had something else to prove.

+

Henry mistakenly thought that the goodbye to his mother was going to be as easy as the goodbye when he left for his apprenticeship. He figured that if he brought her a blanket to keep her warm during bad weather she would be too happy to be upset.

When he was packing his things for the journey the next day, he found a blanket in his room that wouldn't be good for travel and decided his mom could keep it. It made him nervous to think that he wouldn't be able to make sure she was staying warm over the winter.

Despite the gift, the moment he broke the news to his mother that he was going to travel to the north for a battle, all hell broke loose.

Celia was convinced that the timing of her writing about war was too coincidental for her son to be sent to the front lines. She felt that it was a sign from heaven that something bad was going to happen if he left - like she had the ability to predict the future.

It got so bad that he ended up outside of their old home, sitting with his back against one side of the wooden doorframe. His mother had told him that he might as well stay outside if he was going to do something that would prevent him from ever returning home.

The sun was over the horizon and stars had appeared in the sky. There was a breeze and Henry knew it was going to be another frozen night of many. He shivered.

Henry looked up at the heavens and gave a short sigh. Despite his mother's irrational reaction, he knew she did it because she couldn't face losing him the way she lost his father.

He gave one last knock on the door and decided to dust himself off and return to his barrack. It would be the last time he got to sleep in a comfortable bed for a long time and he had already said all he needed to.

Just as he was turning to leave, he heard the front door open and felt something grab his sleeve to stop him.

He glanced backwards and saw his mom with a bag in her hands and tears streaming down her face.

"Mom?" he questioned.

"Please take it and go get some rest," she said with a sniffle. "I was making jerky for winter and had a lot extra. Take it with you for the journey."

As usual, she had an emotional reaction at first, but still cared enough to make sure he had everything he needed.

For a moment, his mom stood there with her hand outstretched and a pained expression on her face as she looked towards the ground.

Henry couldn't help smiling.

"Thank you," he said. "I'll be back soon enough."

He knew he couldn't promise her that, but he didn't know what else to say.

Instead of saying anything else, he gave her one last hug, smiling when he realized she had the blanket he had brought her wrapped around her shoulders.

When he was finally able to get back to his barrack, he felt the stress of everything that had been happening in the last week seem to fall off his shoulders. It seemed that now the journey was only a few hours away, his body had decided to accept whatever his fate may be.

As the stress left him, he drifted into a deep sleep, not knowing what his future held, but finally being okay with that.