ELEVEN – Sometimes You Just Need To Go With The Flow

Once Liam finally arrived the next night, it did not take him long to convince the rest of the staff to let me take the night off. Everyone guessed that we wouldn't be getting a lot of guests at this point anyways, and even if we did, someone else could handle the luggage for a day. I thanked all of them for helping me out, and followed the entire group into the room that they had booked. Well, one of them at least. Liam had ended up coming in with seven other people; four boys and three girls, so he had three rooms to accommodate everyone.

For now, though, all of us gathered in a single place. I recognized all of the others he had brought along with him, but couldn't remember much about any of them. It had been a long time since I had talked to my old classmates, and it was a weird experience seeing them again. So, I tried to strike that balance where I acted like I remembered everything and hoped that everything would work on its own from there. It usually worked when people asked me if I remembered them, and how much fun we used to have.

"Hey, that one professor who used to get pissed every time someone brought a laptop!?"

"Oh, shit...y-yeah! I remember that. Old man..."

"What about that hot one? You know, that chick who joined as soon as she got her teaching degree!"

"Hmm...true. Man, I loved attending her classes...I did."

"Dude, that one time! When some weirdo brought firecrackers and put them in the washroom. Then the janitor went in-"

Everybody started laughing, recounting different reactions to it, so I joined and made up one for myself. I absolutely could not stop laughing my ass off when the janitor almost punched the guy that did it. Totally. It was a core memory in my brain. Hilarious moment that I could never let go of.

And, uh, yeah. Most of me sitting with all of them was like that.

Thing is, I don't remember much. Neither from all the school days that they were having so much fun talking about, and neither from that day when I met them after so long. Despite knowing that I should probably focus on making memories and enjoying myself, I could not. It was nearly impossible for me to keep myself sane in a group of loud people for so long. And so, I acted like I belonged, and thought about other things in the meanwhile.

About the work I still had left to do, about the succubi who I would contact once everyone went to sleep, about the swim brief incident which my brain refused to forget. About Nao, again. It was like seeing Liam automatically made me remember her, no matter how much I tried not to focus on it. I wondered what she would have done in a situation like this. She'd probably collapse out of the anxiety she would feel in between this group.

Thankfully, everyone decided to take a short break and divided into groups of two or three to talk to each other in more hushed voices; probably talking about more personal things. Seeing that they were all absorbed in their own worlds, I gladly took the time to step out of the room and into the corridor for a breather. Even if it was enclosed on all sides and had nothing to look at, it felt like it was mine. I had gotten so used to these hallways after all the work that it felt like a relief to be in them compared to being with everyone inside.

"Sorry. For all the people. They were excited, and well, you wanted the bookings."

Liam suddenly appeared beside me and handed me a glass of beer.

I took it, smiling, "Oh no, it's cool. It is good to see them all, it really is. Just...I don't really remember everything they're talking about."

He laughed, "You think they do? Nah, they don't. They're just trying their best to remember as much as they can or else they'll have nothing to talk about. When is the last time we talked about what we're doing right now instead of just sitting down and talking about what's already happened? It's easier to do that."

"I'm pretty sure we talked about what I do at work just a few weeks ago, so your words don't really track. Shame."

He took my now-empty glass and poured in some more with the bottle in his hand, giving it back. Then, he took a sip directly from the bottle and replied, "Shut up, drink, and then come back in there when you get the time. They were really happy to know they were gonna meet you, so cut them some slack. Even if you're acting, just have fun doing it. Laugh at the fact that you're lying instead of feeling bad about it. They'll like it."

They were here for me, huh? I hadn't thought of it like that till now. Maybe they actually were. Hell, of course they were. Liam had to have mentioned that I was working here. All of them had been down to help me out while having some fun themselves. And that was more than I could say for most of the people on my own contacts list. Liam took the glass once more, and handed me the bottle. He gave me a pat on the shoulder and went back inside the room.

I checked the bottle. There was a fair bit left. And now that Liam had entered once more, the room had gotten louder again. Someone shouted that we should do karaoke, and then everyone cheered for the idea. I guess that was what would happen when I stepped back in. My singing wasn't horrible, but it wasn't gonna be easy to do it in front of everyone. Liam was right. I had to be in there at the very least. Make sure they didn't feel responsible for me leaving. I could just have fun on my own terms; laugh at whatever personally made me laugh. They didn't need to know why I was having fun. Just that I was.

I looked at the bottle again and sighed. Well, might as well make it easier. I opened the cap and gulped down all of it in one go.

That, of course, might have been a slight mistake. By midnight, I was wasted.

"I...am serious." I put my arm around Liam's shoulder and cleared myself once more, "She's very cute, she is. Very pretty too. But she just needs something more, dude. She needs someone who can understand her properly and help her have fun. Problem is, I'm basically in the same boat as her. Just a little bit faster."

And that one turn of me being obsessed with distancing myself from Nao was all it took them to decide that it would be the most appropriate thing in the world to call her right away. Then tell her that I wanted to talk. Because that's what friends do.

"Liam, don't." I warned him. Or begged him. I'm not sure what my voice came across as.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright. She's chill. Check it out. It's ringing."

I saw her name on the phone and a chill went down my spine. This would be bad. I wasn't myself right now. I could end up saying things I didn't want to. Thankfully, the phone kept ringing. She wasn't picking up. It was late too, so she might have gone to sleep. That is what I was hoping for, at least. It would be for the best if she didn't pick up.

Then, as if to make the situation comically worse, I realized that I could also see my own face on the screen. I hadn't noticed it at first, but it was replicating my movements exactly.

"Liam, is this a video call?"

"Well, I just pressed the butto-"

Her face suddenly replaced mine. A hoodie pulled down to her forehead, the entire background as dark as it could be, I could barely make out that it was Nao. But it was definitely her.

"Uh...Alex?"

"Oh, uh, hi!" I said, constantly looking at Liam in the hopes that he would take the phone away from me, "I just, wasn't doing anything. And then Liam said he was going to call you, and then he just handed the phone to me. And now he won't take it back. Tell him, won't you? Tell him to take his phone back."

She sighed, "Great. A drunk call. At least you guys are clearly having fun."

Liam suddenly pushed my head away and appeared on the call, "Now, now, Nao. Don't be so rude. Alex just wanted to talk to you, so I did him the courtesy of calling you and handing him the phone. He probably wouldn't have done it otherwise, you see. Just trying to be a good friend. Have fun."

He blew her a kiss and went back to the others, who continued laughing. I looked at the lot of them and mouthed a 'fuck you' before hurriedly turning back to the phone and staring at her once more.

"So, what did you want to say?" She asked.

"Uh, nothing, honestly. He was just trying to tease me and did all of this. I'll just cut the call, it's alright. You aren't well, right? Just rest for the night. Really sorry about this."

I was about to click the end call button when she hurriedly sat up, leaning against a wall and made me stop.

"What have you guys been up to? I really wanted to come, I just...couldn't. Sorry about that. You needed as many people as possible, didn't you?"

It was as if her words took all the drunkenness out of me. I went to one of the walls and squeezed in the small place between the bed and the wall, sitting down. She really looked like she was sad about not being able to help out. But that was stupid. I hadn't thought about it like this, but wasn't it for the best that she hadn't shown up? I glanced at the others, and knew that they would probably be visited by one of the succubi in the night. All of them would probably be down for it, too. I was pretty sure all the girls didn't mind being with girls either. But if she were here, Nao would be in the same position.

"Hey, no, it's fine. Honestly, Liam doesn't know the particulars, but just more people doesn't do it. The whole scheme is based around per booking, so while eight people gets me extra credit, it's not all that much. Even if you were here, it wouldn't make much of a difference."

Thinking about what I just said, I immediately continued, "In terms of the whole deal, I mean. Of course, it would be cool if you were here. Take care, though, as I said. You shouldn't come if you don't want to."

"Wow, you're drunk. Honestly, I can always imagine Liam getting drunk because he's the little bitch that he is, but it is a genuine surprise seeing you like this. Didn't know it was possible."

I laughed, "What kinda nonsense is that? Of course I can get drunk. I'm a human too. It's like, this thing that we all have."

"Uh huh. Of course, no, yeah. I don't know why I said that. It's weird. I just hadn't imagined what you would look like if you were drunk, so I saw you just now and thought 'Oh damn, that's what he looks like when he's drunk'. Only that. It's whatever."

Which one of us was really drunk here?

"No, no, it's ok. So, what were you up to?"

She looked at her bed, where she was sitting and reached out for something. After an extended period of looking at her dark ceiling, she held up a book and pushed it close to the camera so that I could see the title. I recognized it.

"Hey, I never got past the first one of those. Does it get better?"

"Uh, not really." She scoffed and kept it down again, "Everyone is still boring as hell and never do anything that seems like it's their own choice. But I've gone through all eight books by now and it's become a matter of self-respect and integrity. I'm gonna see this through to the end no matter how terrible it gets."

"Fuck yeah! That's the spirit." I nodded my head, "But, like, how were you reading with the lights turned off?"

She looked around her and seemed to panic for a second, "I was just...considering reading it. Been staring at it for half an hour wondering if I should start reading it or not. Such a damn chore to get started, so I need to really get in the mood for some torture. It's basically impossible without a bit of masochism."

"Haha. Well, that's the spirit too. I must say that I respect the grind. Good luck, girl." I gave her a thumbs up, unsure of what I was even saying at this point. Was this what we were supposed to be talking about?

"Hmm." She stayed silent for a while, "Anyways, you probably want to get back. Sorry. You can go."

"Oh no!" I brought the phone closer and whispered, "Actually, all of them are so loud that it's nice talking to someone directly. I'm not one for parties and all that, but they invited me so I joined."

"Al? Same, honestly." She sighed and lied down, keeping the phone focused on her face, "One of the main reasons I didn't come. Too many people and I can't keep my head straight. But now you're there, so you try to enjoy yourself, right?"

"No, I know. Liam told me the same thing just now. That everyone was here cause of me, so I should probably try to have fun too. That they are hoping they are able to make me feel better and all that."

"Bullshit." She shook her head, "It's nice of them, and they should know it. They're good friends for doing that. But if you can't be all that social, then you just can't. You aren't obligated to make them feel better. Their decisions should have nothing to do with how you respond. You can always tell them that you're glad they were this excited to meet you, but you're still feeling overwhelmed and want to leave. It's the right thing to do. Why lie?"

I wanted to laugh. She wasn't wrong, after all. But I had thought like that once upon a time. And it had gotten me nowhere. Being like what Liam had asked me to be like had at least gotten me this job. Honestly, I didn't know if one approach was truly right or better. But the second one had worked out for me. Maybe the first always worked for Nao.

"I don't think so." I smiled and looked at everyone talking to each other, "You're right. I should do what makes me comfortable, and nothing else. But sometimes you don't have a choice, so all you can do is make the best of a situation. Go with the flow and all that. The more you do shit that you don't want to, the better you get at keeping yourself happy. Stay where you are and you'll become complacent to yourself. Something like that?"

"Damn. Drunk people get wise, huh?"

"Hmm. I don't know. Just thinking too much. I'll probably go, sorry."

"Uh, sure, yeah. I'm sorry too, if I said too much. I know it's not my place. I mean, you're actually there and I'm resting at home."

I shook my head, "It's fine. You were just giving your opinion. Anyways, tell me when you finish reading that thing! I'd love to know all the horrors you had to face."

She chuckled, "Sure. You're on."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Yeah."

I don't know how long it took after that for the call to end. But when it did, I was glad I got to even hear her voice. I didn't remember any of it five minutes later, but just that I was happy that I talked to her. Even though I should not have, I did, and it was nice. My brain felt like it was going to collapse on itself. I needed some rest.

And taking Nao's advice, twisting it a little and being a little kinder with my words, I ended up telling everyone that.

"Al's right. We should probably sleep. I've got some work tomorrow afternoon. Need to get there on time or else they'll chew my head out." One of the girls supported me, and I thanked her with my heart for that.

Soon after that, everyone agreed and slowly decided to go to sleep. Once they were gone, I left the rooms too and waited in the corridor. It was time to call them. Eight new people to be fed on. It almost made me feel like I was doing something illegal, even though nobody was going to get hurt or remember anything at all. The succubi got to feed, and the humans had some fun in their dreams.

I walked to a room I knew was empty, and headed inside. Then, thinking about the monster world, I held the handle of the bathroom door, and pulled it open.