Nothing Too Sexy

"Amane, I've got someplace to go today, so is it all right if

we head home separately?" Mahiru asked. It was early July,

and they'd just been about to leave school together, as

always.

It was an unexpected request coming from Mahiru, who

always wanted to walk home with Amane, and he caught

himself staring at her without meaning to.

As a rule, Amane accompanied her whenever she had to

make a side trip, so the fact that she was gently stopping him

from doing so meant it was probably something she didn't

want him to know about.

But he could tell from Mahiru's expression that it wasn't

anything she felt particularly guilty over, so he wasn't

worried about it.

The sun set later in the summer, so it should be fine as

long as her errand didn't take a long time. Though if he was

to state his true feelings, he would have liked to go home

together.

"Mm, got it. I'll see you later, then."

He knew that either way he was going to have plenty of

time to spend with her at home, so he respected Mahiru's

wishes.

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She looked relieved by his answer but then opened her

eyes a little bit wider, as if she had suddenly realized

something, and gave him a look like she was raising her

guard just a little.

"…Don't walk home with any other girls, okay?"

"Do you think I would do that?"

"You wouldn't, but there's a possibility that you'll be

asked, you see. That's… Well, I'm not saying they can't, but I

don't like it. Other girls have been talking to you lately,

and…"

It was a miracle Amane didn't react out loud.

…Don't tell me…she's jealous?

It should have been obvious from the way he acted toward

Mahiru that Amane hadn't been asked by other girls, but

apparently, Mahiru had started worrying about it.

Actually, the only girls who had spoken to him had done

so to show their support for his relationship and wish him

good luck, so there was no need for concern.

Even though he still felt slightly uncomfortable, Mahiru

was looking up at him with an imploring, anxious

expression. He wanted to stroke her hair because of how

cute she was, but there were eyes all around them, so he

restrained himself.

He had messed up once before and everyone had huddled

around to see Mahiru's smiling face, so naturally he wasn't

about to repeat that mistake.

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"It's all right. I only have eyes for you, and I haven't told

anyone I'll walk home with them. Unless you count being

dragged around by Chitose."

"…That's good to hear."

If it was Chitose, it seemed like it would be okay. But to

begin with, she had Itsuki, so she was definitely not

interested in Amane. And he had also never looked at

Chitose that way, so Mahiru probably felt at ease.

Mahiru relaxed her shoulders, seemingly relieved by

Amane's words, and this time, she gazed up at him with a

hint of embarrassment.

"Also, um, just because I don't want there to be any

chance of a misunderstanding, I'll tell you where we're

going."

"You don't need to keep it a secret?"

"N-no."

He got the sense that she was fairly hesitant to say it, but

he waited patiently for her to continue.

"W-well…we're…going shopping."

"Gotcha. That doesn't really seem like anything to be

embarrassed about."

"I'm going with Chitose…u-um—to buy a swimsuit, so—"

"…A swimsuit?"

Sure enough, it was July, and they were being sold in all

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the stores now.

In the shopping mall that they frequently visited, a special

shop had opened just for selling swimsuits, and Amane had

fresh memories of girls from their class talking about going

to buy some.

But he had never thought Mahiru would.

After all, Mahiru couldn't swim.

That was what she'd said, and she had even chosen a

school where swimming wasn't a compulsory subject, so it

had to be true.

But Mahiru wanted a bathing suit.

"…Weren't we going to go to the pool together…?" she

whispered as she drew her body near shyly.

In response to her words, Amane stiffened, then he

covered his face with his hand.

…I wish you wouldn't make that kind of face when you

say it…

Sure enough, the other students in the classroom were

looking their way.

From looks of confusion to tepid smiles, a variety of

expressions were directed at them, and Amane felt unsettled

by a mixture of discomfort and embarrassment. Even under

normal circumstances, he had trouble keeping it together

when he saw Mahiru looking bashful, and in this

atmosphere, with people watching, he could hardly stand

being there.

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"…I see. Um… Enjoy your shopping."

"Th-thanks… What kind should I get?"

"Nothing too suggestive," he answered immediately.

Anything that fit Mahiru's style, even a swimsuit, was sure

to be suitable, but Amane would have preferred that it didn't

expose any more than necessary.

After all, it had only been several weeks since they had

started dating, and for the most part, he hadn't seen much of

her bare skin.

At school, she buttoned her shirts all the way up and

always wore tights. She dressed so modestly that he

sometimes worried she might overheat.

At home, she never wore clothes that exposed her chest,

and she wore a lot of long skirts. Whenever she wore shorts,

she also had on tights underneath.

In other words, Amane had never seen much of Mahiru's

body. He'd never even had the chance to.

Under those circumstances, if she chose a sexy swimsuit,

Amane would probably wind up curled into a ball on the

floor for a while.

Mahiru's eyes went wide, and she blinked in surprise at

Amane's definitive answer, then she snorted quietly.

"That's a very Amane answer."

"I would die. So pick one that's not too flashy."

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"Heh-heh, what to do…?"

"Mahiru—"

"I'll consult with Chitose about what will make you

happy."

Mahiru still looked a little shy, and Amane pressed his lips

together tightly.

I'd better send Chitose a message telling her not to

recommend anything weird.

It was a matter of life or death. He had to stop her, to save

himself.

Amane made up his mind to send a message to Chitose,

who was currently not in the classroom, and poked Mahiru

in the cheek. She looked like she was thinking of something

mischievous.

At the end of the day, Mahiru refused to tell him what

kind of swimsuit she had purchased. She dodged the

question with an impish answer, saying "You can look

forward to when I put it on."

He had gone ahead and warned Chitose, but it was

doubtful whether she had listened. If anything, from the way

she had gleefully told Mahiru that she thought her choice

would make him happy, he was sure she had recommended

something that showed a lot of skin.

"I'm begging you, not something too flashy," Amane's

grumbling echoed in the otherwise empty bathroom.

He had gotten into the bathtub to wash his sweat off,

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leaving the post-meal cleanup to Mahiru after she

volunteered to do it, but he couldn't help worrying about the

swimsuit.

Amane was a high school boy, so of course he had

fantasized about what kind of swimsuit his girlfriend might

wear.

Something that generously exposed her slender body

would certainly be attractive. Mahiru had always had a curvy

figure, so if she wore a bikini or something, he was certain

he wouldn't be able to gaze directly at her.

His heart was pounding just imagining it, and his body

was burning up. Part of that was because he was soaking in

the tub, but he was hot for another reason, too.

…I'm sure anything would look good on her, but I would

have a hard time looking at her or even standing next to

her.

Amane thought he had a right to see—and a right to stand

by her side. But next to her, he would be practically invisible.

He glanced quickly down at his own body, but it was still a

far cry from perfect. He had never had much meat on his

bones to begin with, so he was already starting to see the

bumps of his abdominal muscles, but he had yet to reach his

ideal body type. Most people would have considered him

kind of scrawny.

No matter how he thought about it, he didn't feel like a

particularly strong or stylish kind of guy.

He wished his physique was a little more solidly built, but

he had always assumed that since both of his parents were

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slim, his body type was probably hereditary, so there was

nothing he could do. To make up for it, he was tall, so he felt

very grateful to his parents for that at least.

"…I should consult with Kadowaki and increase my

strength training a little more."

He had already established a good foundation, and

recently, he'd been lifting even heavier weights. If he worked

a little harder, while being sure not to overdo it, then he'd

definitely be able to improve his physique before debuting

his bathing suit body.

He was determined to stand by Mahiru's side, so he

couldn't slack off and would need to try even harder so he

could have confidence in himself.

Amane sighed softly and dipped his face halfway into the

bathwater.

He had worked himself up imagining Mahiru in her

swimsuit and himself next to her. Now he was too hot.

Normally, when he soaked in the bathtub, he would be in

there for about ten minutes, so his anguish was obvious

when it took him over half an hour before he got out.

Since he had spent more than three times the usual

amount in the bath, it was about ten thirty. He confirmed

the time by checking the waterproof clock that he kept in the

bathroom. Mahiru typically went back to her own apartment

at ten o'clock, so she should have already left.

With that presumption, Amane wiped away the water

dripping off his body and immediately got dressed. He was

very warm from having soaked for too long, so he decided to

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let the air conditioner cool him off and didn't put on a shirt.

Wearing only a pair of sweatpants, with a towel over his

head, Amane imagined his parents scolding him for looking

so sloppy as he left the bathroom and returned to the living

room.

Wondering if there were any good shows on television,

Amane walked in with his eyes on the screen. But as soon as

he got there, he saw a familiar curtain of flaxen hair hanging

down the back of the sofa.

She hasn't gone home yet?

Normally Mahiru wouldn't have been there, but oddly

enough, she had stayed.

She was looking down a little bit, moving her arm while

staring at something in her hands. She was probably tending

to some schoolwork that she would usually have done at

home. Amane approached her with interest, marveling that

she was, as ever, the hard worker.

"It's unusual for you to be here so late."

Mahiru must have been concentrating, because when

Amane spoke to her as he picked up the remote control from

the coffee table and changed the channel, she finally noticed

his presence, lifted her face, and froze.

"Yes, uh, ah…"

"What is it?"

"Uh, why—why aren't you wearing anything on top…?"

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It was how he typically looked after getting out of the bath

during the summer, so nothing seemed particularly off to

Amane, but Mahiru was clearly flustered and covered her

face with her hands.

He could see her skin flushed red in between her fingers.

"What do you mean, why? I'm hot."

"P-please don't come out like that while I'm here."

"I mean, I figured you had gone home… It's already ten

thirty."

"I wanted to say goodnight before I left."

So that's why she's still here.

Amane sat down beside Mahiru. As he did, her shoulders

flinched in surprise, which made him laugh.

"…Are you really that embarrassed?"

"Of course I'm embarrassed!"

"But if you bought a swimsuit, you must have been

planning to see me in mine, too, right? But I can't be in the

living room like this?"

"Uh…"

Mahiru had said she was going to buy a bathing suit

because she planned to go swimming with him.

In that case, surely the thought had crossed her mind that

Amane would be in his, too. It was only natural if they were

going together.

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In other words, she must have assumed she would see

him half naked.

Yet she was getting so flustered at the sight of his bare

torso. It made him wonder whether they would actually be

able to go to the pool. If looking at his body shook her up

this much, he wondered how she would react to seeing other

boys in their swimsuits.

It wasn't the first time—she was embarrassed to see his

chest before they were together and seemed opposed to

seeing boys' skin at all. He was unsure whether they would

be able to go to the pool or the ocean.

"…It's nice that you bought a swimsuit, but I think it's

possible that you might not be able to go to the pool."

"Th-that's probably true, but—"

"In that case, how about getting used to it now, ahead of

time?"

At the moment, he was less exposed than he would be in

his swimsuit, so it was a chance for her to grow accustomed

to seeing him like this, but Mahiru shook her head

vigorously.

"I—I can't. I can't look at you as you are now."

"Why not?"

"…B-because you're…like, really sexy."

"Sexy?"

"You just got out of the bath; I really can't."

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Apparently, the reason why she hadn't made eye contact

with him since he entered the room wasn't just because she

could see his skin. Despite what she'd said, Amane didn't

believe he was particularly attractive, but it was obvious that

Mahiru thought differently.

Amane did think that Mahiru was even more alluring

when she'd just gotten out of the bath, and he figured that

anyone probably found the person they liked even more

appealing in such a state.

As the one who was usually getting flustered by Mahiru,

seeing her react to him like that made Amane feel kind of

good, in a sadistic sort of way, but he knew that if he teased

her too much, Mahiru would probably get upset.

"If you hate it that much, I'll go put on clothes, okay?"

"I—I don't hate it or anything, but…w-wait a second, I'll

do my best."

"No, if it's really an issue, I'll get dressed."

"I-if I don't get used to it, I'll be in more trouble! Since I'm

going with you to the p-p-pool."

Mahiru spoke very bravely and glanced over at him, her

face red and her gaze wandering unsteadily over to other

spots around the room. Amane watched her struggle without

rushing her.

He couldn't exactly complain, since if he were in Mahiru's

position, he would definitely be letting his eyes wander,

probably even more than she was. It likely wouldn't just be

his gaze, either—his whole body would probably try to make

a run for it.

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"…I know you've been putting in a lot of work, Amane,

and as someone who's been rooting for you, I'm happy to see

that you're getting results."

"Mm-hmm."

"B-but…u-um…recently you look too good; I can't take it.

Ever since you found your confidence, you're too goodlooking, and it's not fair!"

"Not fair…?"

"I'm the one whose heart is pounding all the time!"

"…I can't just let that one go."

Amane knew that Mahiru's heart beat fast for him, but

she couldn't possibly think that his heart wasn't pounding,

too. Just like her, his heart was thumping harder than usual.

On top of that, Amane was sitting by Mahiru's side

burdened with other troubles that she probably didn't have.

From his perspective, she was the one who wasn't playing

fair.

He decided to make her realize a little bit of what he was

feeling, so he extended a hand out toward Mahiru's back and

pulled her dainty body toward him.

She must have been unprepared because she wasn't

looking at him, and she easily fell into Amane's arms, her

cheek coming to rest against his bare chest.

Her small frame was trembling noticeably.

"Aaamane—"

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"…You can yell at me for sexual harassment, or you can

run away if you like, but I want you to understand just a

little of what I'm feeling."

Embracing a girl while half naked was something that

Amane would normally never do. He hadn't intentionally

undressed in front of Mahiru after all, but in the moment,

there was no helping it.

"My heart is beating out of my chest… As a guy, I've got a

lot more to worry about in this kind of situation."

Of course, Amane was the reason why they were in this

situation, so he wasn't trying to put any of the blame on

Mahiru. But being alone together with his girlfriend at night,

he felt like he couldn't settle down no matter what. It was

absurd to think that Mahiru was the only one whose heart

was pounding.

In his arms, Mahiru had her cheek against Amane's chest

and seemed to be listening to his heartbeat, blinking

repeatedly in surprise with a bright-red face.

He seemed to have gotten his point across, so he took his

hands off of Mahiru, but she kept leaning against him and

didn't try to move.

"…I'm sorry; that was rude."

"N-not really… U-um…Amane, when you do stuff like

that, it's really…i-it's so manly."

"As opposed to…?"

Amane furrowed his eyebrow as he wondered whether he

had just been insulted, but when he saw the panic in

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Mahiru's eyes and felt her trembling, he loosened up his

expression.

"I-it's not that I didn't think you were a man. It's just,

um…when I'm pressed directly up against you like this…it

really makes me aware of it."

She answered him honestly, even though it seemed like it

was a little bit difficult for her to say. Though hesitant, she

touched Amane's chest with her hand. Slowly, she caressed

him like a fragile object, and at first, Amane felt ticklish until

the embarrassment set in.

"…Amane, you're so slim…"

"Sorry for being skinny. I must seem weak."

"That's not true at all. Just—y-you're more solid than I

thought. You're sturdy; I was surprised…"

With the tip of her finger, she slowly traced over the

center of his torso.

He wasn't really building much muscle, but the results of

his training were apparent, and his midsection had firmed

up somewhat. Mahiru gently traced her finger over his

abdominal muscles like they might break, though they

wouldn't, checking the feel of them.

Even though he was doing this for her, so she could get

used to his bare skin, he was struck with a jumble of extreme

uneasiness, frustration, and shame—and he found himself

struggling desperately to restrain a groan.

"I've…never touched a guy's body before, so this is new to

me—and surprising…"

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"…You're allowed to at any time you like, but if you touch

me too much, you'll have to deal with the consequences."

Mahiru's eyes were perfectly clear as she blinked up at

Amane, though he could see a hint of shyness. Amane's

heart ached with a subtle suspicion that he might be the only

one feeling guilty about this.

However, the way she was stroking his skin, tracing over

it with her finger as if to get the feel of it, was driving him

nuts, so naturally he wanted to stop her. But he didn't want

to make her uncomfortable.

"I'm going to have to touch all the same spots that you

are."

Teasingly, he gently ran his hand across Mahiru's waist,

and she let out a feeble shriek and jumped in surprise.

Mahiru had always been ticklish and would start trembling

at the slightest touch, so he had touched her very lightly, but

she had reacted super sensitively.

He had only brushed his hand against her once and then

stopped, intending to withdraw and apologize immediately if

she seemed upset. But rather than displeasure, Mahiru

lowered her eyes in seeming embarrassment and pressed her

forehead against Amane's chest.

"I—I like it when you touch me, Amane, so go ahead, but…

j-just d-don't tickle me, okay?"

Mahiru looked up at him, still leaning close against him,

seemingly completely unaware of her own weaponized

charm.

Her words, her expression, her gaze, her posture, her

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sweet scent carved away powerfully at Amane's sense of

reason. If he received one more push, the stronghold of his

judgment would simply crumble away.

For the moment, he bit his lip, and the pain barely kept

him in check. Then he peered into Mahiru's eyes. He could

see his own reflection in them, which held no doubt or

suspicion.

"…I can touch you?"

"Wh-why, is there a reason why you shouldn't? I'm sure I

asked you before to please touch me. And I think you have a

right to touch the same parts on me that I did on you. Wwe're a couple, so it's fine, right…?"

"N-no, well, I may just be a bad guy, but I think this

situation we're in is unwise… Do you understand?"

If they took one more step forward, they would never be

able to go back. He asked to be sure, since he had a feeling

Mahiru hadn't yet realized that, and after dramatically

blinking her caramel-colored eyes, Mahiru's face instantly

went up in flames like an on-demand water heater.

After opening and closing her mouth like she was trying to

say something but finding herself unable to string any words

together, Mahiru drew her legs up and hung her head. She

didn't seem like she was going to run away. But she did

appear to be ashamed or embarrassed and was bright red all

the way to her ears that were peeking out from beneath her

hair.

"Uh, ah, um… A-actually, maybe another day would be

better…," Mahiru managed to mutter in a hoarse, trembling

voice.

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Amane looked away from her and nodded. "…That's what

I'd like, too… N-not that you can't touch me, but…it seems

like we're moving really fast, and I'm kind of scared of what

might happen."

Amane was determined to treasure their relationship and

to really value the time and experiences that they built up

together. He didn't think it would be good to skip over so

many steps and give in to their teenage instincts. That kind

of self-control was difficult for a high school boy like Amane,

and he worried that if she let down her guard, he would

likely carry her off to the bedroom. He didn't want to risk

losing Mahiru over something like that and resolved to resist

the temptation.

Mahiru's body coiled up again as she listened to Amane

squeeze out an explanation. She looked over at him, and he

gently stroked her hair, enduring shame that he couldn't

hide.

"I'm begging you… I want to treasure you, so please, let's

take it slow," he mumbled quietly.

"I-I'll keep that in mind…," Mahiru answered bashfully in

a defeated voice.