Always by Your Side

Whether it was due to exhaustion from traveling or from

dealing with his parents who were giving him a hard time,

Amane woke up late the next morning—if it could even be

called morning, since it was almost noon by the time he got

out of bed.

Amane picked up his terrycloth blanket from where it had

fallen onto the floor at some point in the night, and as he

began folding it, he let out one big yawn.

…I don't think we have any plans for today.

There was Mahiru's request for the four of them to go on

an outing together, but Amane hadn't told his parents about

that yet, as he had been planning to stay at home for the first

few days to rest. It was summer vacation, so he figured it

was all right to get up close to noon, though he couldn't help

feeling like he was being lazy.

Amane changed his clothes at a leisurely pace. Once he

finished dressing and made it down to the living room, he

saw that of course Mahiru had made it there before him. She

was sitting at the table with his mother and father.

Mahiru was peering down at some large object that

resembled a book, and what she saw was making her eyes

sparkle.

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"Good morning. Whatcha looking at?"

"Oh, good morning," Mahiru greeted him, without a shred

of sleepiness to be found in her expression. Then she

lowered her gaze to the book on the table again.

Amane looked down, too, curious as to what it could be,

then covered his face with his hand.

"…Wait a minute, why are you looking at a photo album

without me…?"

He saw a picture of a familiar, mud-caked little boy and

groaned.

Amane's parents were the type to take commemorative

photographs, and they treasured their memories, so it wasn't

surprising that they kept photo albums. The problem was

that they were showing one to Mahiru.

The pictures in the album, which was lying wide open,

were of Amane when he was young. It was filled with photos

of a charming and cherubic little boy, who was doing

something embarrassing in most of them.

Amane felt annoyed as he glared at his mother, who had

been showing Mahiru photographs of him covered in mud or

on the verge of tears with obvious delight.

"Oh, did you want to see your cute photos, too? You

should have said something earlier."

"No, I meant don't show her without my permission!"

"…Was it wrong of me to look?"

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"It's not, but…it's just embarrassing."

"But you're so adorable."

"That's not considered a compliment for a guy, you

know."

If she had called him cool or something, that would have

been better, but adorable was not what he wanted to hear.

Even though he knew she meant his childhood antics were

cute, he wasn't happy about it.

Amane turned away in a huff and could practically feel all

three of them smiling at him.

"Come on, it's fine, isn't it?" his mother prodded.

"Mahiru's clearly crazy about you!"

"I'm sure she just meant that the pictures were cute," he

scoffed.

"O-only because of how different you are now."

"Shiina here must really like you, Amane. As your father,

it makes me happy that you have such a levelheaded girl by

your side."

Out of the corner of his eye, Amane could see Mahiru

staring at the floor, hunched over. He figured that she must

be embarrassed by his parents' praise. However, he was

preoccupied with his own shame over the humiliating

photos his parents had shown off without his permission.

He flopped down onto the sofa in protest, and both of his

parents smiled at him.

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"Don't pout," his father said. "Isn't it true that you have a

great girl by your side who accepts you for who you are?"

"…That is true, but—"

"The one thing that makes us a little sad is that you didn't

tell us, though."

"Uh—"

Apparently, Shuuto knew that he and Mahiru were dating.

Maybe Shihoko had told him, or maybe he had heard it

directly from Mahiru herself.

"…I know you were probably embarrassed to tell us

everything, but—"

"Even so, we would have liked to know," his mother

interjected. "Although, we did guess."

"Well, as soon as Amane said he was bringing a girl home,

we knew, right? And you two are easy to read anyway."

"Oh, shut up!" Amane exclaimed. "So we're dating! Is that

so bad?"

"My, my, you really can't be honest about your feelings,"

his mother scolded. "Are you sure you want a guy like this,

Mahiru dear?"

"Well, Amane is a shy person…and I love him for it."

"I see; well, there you have it."

"I'm relieved you get along so well."

Amane already felt exhausted as his parents gave Mahiru

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delighted looks, before turning their attention to him. He

couldn't even work up the spirit to respond.

…I'm in my own home, but I'm at a total disadvantage.

He knew how his parents were and had anticipated

something like this happening, but it was still almost

unbearable. They were being more welcoming and more

familiar with Mahiru than with their own son, and it made

him uncomfortable.

Amane sighed and, with a feeling of desperation, set the

album on his knees and started flipping through it.

The photos that Mahiru had been looking at so happily

were, as he expected, mostly records of embarrassing

moments. Some had been taken to commemorate special

occasions, but the majority showed him looking foolish.

He was disheartened to see that they also had pictures of

him wearing girls' clothes.

Amane had grown slowly, and until about halfway

through middle school, he'd had a very cherubic face, so as a

game, his mother had sometimes dressed him up in clothes

for girls.

In his second year of middle school, he had gotten

remarkably taller, and she hadn't been able to do that

anymore, but it was a bitter pill to swallow being called girly

face behind his back.

…This brings back memories…

Amane couldn't help but think of the boys who'd once

been his close friends before they'd had their falling out. He

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had left his hometown specifically to get away from all that.

Now, for better or worse, he cut himself off from his past. He

had no intention of sinking in sentimentality. However, he

did think that there was a chance he might run into those

boys, since they had all gone to the local high school, and

that if he did, it was unlikely to go well.

Amane slammed the album shut to cut off the stream of

troublesome memories, and when he looked up, he saw

Mahiru staring at him.

"Ah, um, are you angry…?" she asked. She sounded

worried.

"Why would you think that? I was simply thinking that it

was nostalgic, that's all." Amane shrugged and placed the

album back on the table.

Amane was irritated by the way his parents had been

treating him, but more than that, he couldn't stand seeing

Mahiru upset. He gently extended a hand and patted her on

the head. Mahiru's eyes opened wide for a moment but

immediately softened as her face slackened into a pleasant

smile.

Shihoko gave them an approving look, but Amane ignored

her and gently stroked Mahiru's hair to soothe her

uneasiness.

By the third day of their visit, Mahiru was thoroughly

familiar with Amane's childhood home.

"Wow, Mahiru dear, you're really good!"

The three of them—Amane's parents and Mahiru—were in

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the kitchen, wearing aprons, chummily making some kind of

sweet. Amane was not participating. He hadn't even been

invited, so all he could do was sit in the living room alone

and watch his girlfriend and his parents from a distance.

Amane and Mahiru had traveled a long way to be there, so

Amane's parents were entertaining Mahiru at every

opportunity. They seemed to prefer her over their own son,

and the three of them seemed to be having a grand old time

together.

It wasn't that he didn't understand why his parents doted

on his girlfriend, since she was such a cute, honest, and nice

girl, but they were neglecting their only son.

He didn't particularly need them for anything, or want to

be bothered, but he still had mixed feelings about being

abandoned like that.

Of course, he was happy that Mahiru seemed to enjoy the

attention from his parents. He didn't mind sitting out a bit if

it meant that Mahiru, who had always yearned for a close

family, got to experience one, even if it wasn't hers.

The one thing that bothered him a little was that while his

parents were entertaining Mahiru, Amane hardly got to

spend any time with her.

I guess it's fine since we'll be together when we get back.

He knew that, once they returned to their apartments, he

would have plenty of time alone with Mahiru, but be that as

it may, Amane still felt a bit conflicted.

For the time being, Mahiru and his parents were

preoccupied with each other, so in order to escape his

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discomfort, Amane left the living room and went back to his

bedroom.

He sat down cross-legged in front of a folding table and

opened up a book he had brought.

He didn't have anything to do, and he had taken almost

everything with him to his new place when he moved, so this

was the only way he had to pass the time. In any case, they

had tests coming up right after summer break, so he needed

to study to maintain his rank, and he liked studying anyway,

so it wasn't a pain.

Amane passed the time quietly, lost in his studies like a

good student.

Even though the workbook was new, thanks to his daily

efforts, he was able to solve the problems in it without much

trouble. His parents had always told him to study hard, and

more importantly, he had been working diligently to keep up

with Mahiru, so now he was seeing the results of those

efforts.

I'm sure it's lively down in the kitchen…, he thought

absentmindedly as he checked his answers, drawing red

circles on his paper. He had made a few careless mistakes

but was relieved to see his answers were mostly correct.

Amane still felt uncomfortable, despite the stillness of his

bedroom.

It's always been normal for me to spend time by myself.

Since when have I felt like something is missing without

someone by my side?

Without a doubt, it was because of Mahiru. He had gotten

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used to having her around, so he now felt weirdly incomplete

when he was alone.

Idly spinning his red pen around and around in his hands,

Amane let out a small sigh. He would finish the workbook

soon, a thought that should have made him happy, but just

as he was about to exchange his red pen for a mechanical

pencil with a mournful grumble, the sound of three hard

knocks sounded from the bedroom door.

"Amane?" he heard Mahiru's reserved voice ask.

He had thought she was cooking down in the kitchen, but

when he glanced at the clock, he saw that two hours had

passed. They had probably finished already.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, just—you disappeared without us noticing,

so…"

"I was only studying. I had some time, so…"

He could hardly believe that two hours had gone by, but

that just showed how focused he had been. Actually, in a

way, he had been more distracted than focused since he'd

only started studying to drive other thoughts from his mind.

"…Is that so? Um, is it okay for me to come into your

room?"

"It's fine, but wouldn't you rather be talking to my

parents?"

"…Right now, I want to talk to you, Amane."

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She was probably concerned about him. If not, she

wouldn't have bothered to come visit him in his room. He

thought he was acting immature with his responses, but

there was no reason for him to turn her away, so he opened

the door and said, "Come on in."

On the other side stood Mahiru. She was holding a tray

and looking at him timidly.

On the tray were two café au laits and two cream puffs,

which was apparently what they had been making earlier.

"Pardon the intrusion…"

Mahiru entered hesitantly, making Amane feel a little

awkward, too.

He hurriedly cleared away his workbook and writing

implements, pulled out a cushion for Mahiru, then took the

tray from her and set it down on the folding table.

The beautifully baked cream puffs were magnificent to

behold, like something you would buy from a bakery. And

since Mahiru had made them, Amane knew they would be

delicious.

"We just finished making them. They're not that chilled,

but…"

"Mm, thanks."

He was full of gratitude that she had gone to the trouble of

bringing them up to him, so he said so honestly.

But for some reason, Mahiru cast her eyes downward

uneasily.

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"…Amane, you're not mad…are you?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Th-the air around you feels prickly. Like it's hard to get

close to you."

Apparently, she had picked up on the fact that he was

upset, although he wasn't actually mad, like she seemed to

think. Amane's feelings were very complicated, and he did

feel lonely. But he wasn't angry whatsoever. After all, there

was nothing wrong with what his parents or Mahiru were

doing, Amane was just in a funk all on his own.

"I'm really not mad at all. It's just—I was feeling lonely

because you got taken away," he admitted.

"Ah…well, that's…"

"Sorry. I know you're having fun spending time with my

mom and dad. I'm just being sulky. It's childish, even for

me." He laughed and shrugged, then took a sip of the café au

lait she had poured for him.

Amane knew that Mahiru was hungry for a loving family,

and he felt bad about leaving her alone earlier. He should

have been enjoying watching her, instead of worrying about

feeling out of place.

Amane was happy as long as Mahiru was happy, but it felt

sad to be left behind, and he was the one who had chosen to

isolate himself further. He had selfishly worked himself into

a bad mood, and he couldn't blame that on Mahiru or his

parents.

Amane set down his cup and sighed, and Mahiru slowly

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looked up at him—then quickly launched herself at his chest.

To be more exact, she got close and leaned her body against

his chest, but Amane was caught off guard by the sudden

physical contact.

He wondered what was wrong all of a sudden, but for the

moment, he gently patted Mahiru's back to comfort her. She

slowly lifted her face and looked Amane directly in the eyes.

"…Of course I have fun spending time with your parents.

It does make me happy, but I need you to know that my

favorite thing is being with you, Amane," she whispered,

then brought her lips to his cheek nervously.

By the time he had registered the faint, soft pressure,

Mahiru had already pulled away.

When he saw her cheeks, suddenly redder than they had

been before, and her eyes welling with tears, Amane

instinctively planted his own kiss on her soft cheek.

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…I've been a fool.

He had been acting like a complete idiot, pouting for no

reason, when Mahiru had been so concerned about him.

He realized again how much he loved her, and he tried to

express his overflowing feelings with that action.

Even if it was just on the cheek, Amane wasn't used to

kissing yet. Mahiru was the same and shivered when

Amane's lips made contact.

At first, she seemed like she was going to run away out of

shame, but as Amane held her tight and touched her gently,

she gradually relaxed into his arms and closed her eyes in

comfort.

Mahiru bashfully kissed Amane's cheek in return, and

overcome by her cuteness, he squeezed her even tighter.

"…Hey, Mahiru?"

After they had kissed each other on the cheeks for a while,

Amane peered down into Mahiru's eyes. She looked back up

at him with an expression filled with both embarrassment

and joy.

"Listen, tomorrow, let's go out together. My parents have

work."

"Just the two of us?"

"I haven't shown you around my hometown yet, have I?

Though, it's not like there's much to see, not like where we

live."

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He had only suggested it because he wanted to spend time

with her, but Mahiru's eyes widened, then she put on an

even softer smile than when they had been kissing.

"Let's go… I'll go anywhere, as long as I'm with you."

"Uh—"

"But today, I want to stay here like this for a little while

longer… Your parents also told me I should spend some time

with you."

"It's none of their business…is what I'd like to say, but

they saw right through me. I guess I am bad at hiding my

feelings."

It seemed Amane's parents had been worried about him

as well.

Amane laughed at how needlessly foolish he had been as

he slowly pulled away from Mahiru.

She looked hurt for a moment, but then Amane pointed at

the cream puffs and whispered, "I want to eat the sweets

that you made," and she immediately cast her eyes down

bashfully.

"…Shall we eat them together?"

"Yes."

Instead of embracing, Amane sat by Mahiru's side,

holding her hand and smiling warmly.