My life is weird

Dinner had been a peaceful affair, with the clinking of cutlery and the occasional chuckle as Franklin regaled everyone with his latest escapades in pocket-dimension creation.

David sat at the head of the table, savoring the rare moment of calm. Emma was seated next to him, her ever-sharp wit complementing Franklin's animated tales. For a family steeped in cosmic power, moments like this were cherished.

But, as always, tranquility had a way of being short-lived in the Faust household.

A sudden, oppressive stillness descended over the room. The lights flickered, not from a power surge, but as if the very concept of illumination was contemplating retreat. A golden radiance enveloped the outside world, and with an audible snap of reality adjusting itself, the Living Tribunal appeared in all his multiversal glory. 

Three enormous, shimmering faces rotated slowly, their expressions a mix of judgment and omniscience. Each face gleamed with authority, the kind that demanded reverence—or at least tried to.

David sighed heavily, placing his fork down with exaggerated care. "Oh, great. What now?" He held Emma's hand in one hand, and Franklin's in another, as he went out of the house to see what shitshow was it this time.

David sighed as he stared at the floating headache while Franklin looked at him with childlike enthusiasm. David asked, crossing his arms. "Let me guess, you're here to complain about multiversal balance or some nonsense?"

The Tribunal's booming voice echoed as all three faces spoke in unison. "David Faust, your son, Franklin Faust, is a transgression against the multiverse. His very existence disturbs the natural order and threatens all reality. He must be erased from this universe ."

Emma's face scrunched in anger , her eyes narrowing. "Excuse me?"

Franklin stiffened, the humor draining from his expression. His usually boundless confidence flickered into something more subdued. "I'm… what?"

David's eyes locked on the Tribunal with a dangerous glint. His tone was calm, dangerously so. "Erase him? Care to elaborate before I lose my appetite?"

"Franklin Faust has breached every fundamental law that governs existence. His unchecked abilities and experiments in reality manipulation have caused ripple effects across countless dimensions. The balance cannot hold. He must be removed for the sake of the multiverse."

David's jaw tightened, his fingers clenching. The air around him began to go wild as if a hurricane and a tornado were clashing for supremacy, the first sign of his rising anger.

"Removed? You mean killed. Just say it. I hate when cosmic entities try to dress up murder in fancy words."

The Tribunal's faces remained impassive. "Semantics are irrelevant. His existence cannot be allowed to continue."

Emma, ever the sharp-tongued one, leaned forward. "You know, Tribunal, for a cosmic judge, you are quite a dick. You won't touch our son." She looked at David, who nodded with a cold expression.

Franklin interjected, his voice trembling but steady. "I didn't mean to cause any problems. I've been careful—"

The Tribunal cut him off. "Intent does not negate consequence."

David let out a small chuckle. His presence seemed to swell, filling the world with an oppressive energy. The very fabric of reality began to ripple, time itself faltering as his power bled into space.

The laws of physics became a joke as visible torrents of golden energy mixed with the black essence of Nihility enveloping the world itself. The whole universe was shaking , holding it's breath, as if it were looking at the end of all things, and it's destruction was nigh. 

"Let me make one thing crystal clear, " David said, his voice low and icy. "Franklin is my son. I don't care what rules you think he's broken. He's not going anywhere. I don't mind turning this quadrant of the multiverse into nothingness, along with you, if you want to push me. Trust me, you won't like it if I snap."

"David Faust, your defiance is irrational. The consequences of your actions could lead to the unraveling of all existence."

David's eyes glowed faintly with a white light, a warning sign that his patience was wearing thin. "Then maybe the multiverse doesn't deserve to exist. If Franklin's life is the price of your so-called balance, I'll take the imbalance every time."

The Tribunal's faces rotated faster, their glow intensifying. "You risk much, David Faust. Your arrogance blinds you. Should this lead to the destruction of the multiverse, the fault will lie squarely with you."

David stepped closer, the room distorting as his reality-warping power pressed against the Tribunal's own cosmic presence. His voice was steel. "Then so be it. And just so we're clear, if you or anyone else tries to lay a finger on my son, I won't stop at you.

I'll go right to the top. I'll drag your boss into this and beat some sense into him if I have to. But I don't think he cares about these kinda matters; you are just acting up because you are huge dick with issues . "

For a moment, the universe seemed to hold its breath. The tension between David and the Tribunal was palpable—the kind of standoff that made entire dimensions and universes quake.

Franklin and Emma, exchanged uneasy glances. Emma smiled forcefully as she hugged Franklin, " Don't worry kiddo. Your dad might be pretty chill and easygoing, but he won't stay calm if his son is being targeted."

Franklin muttered, "I'm not concerned about my safety; I'm just worried he will destroy the universe if he gets angry, like that time he erased one because auntie Hela died."

Before the standoff could escalate, the clouds above them parted, and a warm, golden light bathed the room. A voice, light-hearted yet filled with unmistakable authority, echoed from the heavens.

"What's all the fuss about? You're giving me a headache up here! Don't make come down there, you punks!"

David's head snapped up, and his simmering anger evaporated almost instantly. Descending leisurely from the golden light was a familiar figure: an older man with a kind face, bushy mustache, and aviator sunglasses. He was dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, khakis, and sandals.

"Stan!" David greeted him warmly, his previous fury replaced by an almost childlike enthusiasm. "Good to see you!"

The One Above All, who looked exactly like Stan Lee, waved cheerfully as he floated down. "Hey there, kiddo. It looks like you're causing a ruckus again. What's going on?"

David gestured vaguely at the Tribunal, who stood silently, radiating disapproval. "Oh, you know. The usual. Tribunal here wants to erase my son because he's broken some mutiversal rules trying to prevent a calamity, the usual time travel trope."

Stan turned to the Tribunal, raising an eyebrow. "Really? Again? Haven't we been over this? Not every little cosmic violation deserve erasure from existence! The kid's just having fun. No harm done."

The Tribunal's faces glowed brighter, clearly perturbed. "One Above All, this is not a trivial matter. Franklin Faust—"

"Yeah, yeah, balance this, laws that," Stan interrupted with a wave of his hand. "We get it, Bobblehead. But let's face it, you're overreacting."

David snorted, earning a withering glare from the Tribunal. Stan turned back to him, a twinkle in his eye. "Tell you what, kid. Since you're always getting into cosmic-level trouble, and cleaning up my mess, how about I give you a little gift?

A private universe, outside the multiverse. You and your family can hang out there; no rules, no cosmic police breathing down your neck. You can bring people there or access the multiverse from there without any issues."

David's eyes lit up. "Seriously? That would be amazing!"

Stan grinned and snapped his fingers. A golden key materialized in midair, slowly floating down toward David. It was intricately designed, radiating an almost otherworldly glow. But there was one glaring problem.

"Uh…" David hesitated, holding the key at arm's length. "Why does it look like... a…?"

Emma leaned over, taking one look at the phallic-shaped key, and burst out laughing. "Oh, this is priceless."

Franklin was doubled over, clutching his sides. "Dad, you've got to admit, this is peak comedy."

David glared at Stan, who was doing his best to look innocent but failing miserably. "Really, Stan? A dick key?"

Stan shrugged, his grin widening. "Hey, running infinite universes gets boring. Gotta entertain myself somehow. Not to mention you are fond of it, given how much you've been using it and will be using it in the future."

David focused, his reality-warping power flaring as he tried to alter the key's appearance. No matter what he did, it stubbornly retained its… unique shape. Emma and Franklin were in hysterics, tears streaming down their faces.

"Great," David muttered, throwing the key onto the table. "I'm the proud owner of a dick-shaped cosmic artifact. Thanks, Stan."

Stan chuckled, patting David on the shoulder. "Lighten up, kid. It's all in good fun. Now, I've got a poker game with your old sponsor and Cthulhu. Try not to blow up the multiverse while I'm gone, alright?"

David interrupted, " Wait. How is the old bastard doing up there? I kinda miss him."

The original Nihilty popped his head in from the clouds, " Sup kiddo, how's it hanging?" He chuckled meaningfully, making David groan.

"How's life up there ? Have you been causing any trouble?" David asked the being that sponsored his adventures.

"Oh, you know. Same old stuff. Pretty boring. Anyway, Stan, we're supposed to play poker, leave the young ones to their matters. And David, keep up the entertainment buddy, you are doing good."

With that, Stan and Nihility both disappeared in a flash of light, leaving behind the key—and a thoroughly annoyed David.

The Tribunal turned, preparing to leave as well. "David Faust, remember: the consequences of your actions are yours alone to bear."

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out, second favorite employee." David called after him, a smirk tugging at his lips. The Tribunal vanished with an audible huff.

Emma wiped her eyes, still chuckling. "I think this might be the best dinner we've ever had."

David groaned, sitting back down. "Why does this stuff always happen to me?"

Franklin picked up the key, examining it with a grin. "You have to admit, it's kind of iconic."

David shot him a glare. "You're grounded for 100 years."

Franklin smirked. "Totally worth it."

The golden light of cosmic intervention had finally faded, leaving behind a peculiar calm. Emma hugged Franklin tightly, her usual sharp tongue replaced by gentle reassurances. "You're going to be fine, Franklin. Your dad's got this. He always does."

Franklin nodded, trying to hide the nervousness bubbling in his chest. "Thanks, Mom. Take care of my siblings, okay? Especially when Dad gets distracted playing hero, despite him claiming he's an anti-hero."

Emma smirked, brushing a strand of blonde hair from his face. "Don't worry, I'll keep him in line. Someone has to."

David leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed, watching the exchange with a soft smile. When Franklin turned to him, David gave a small nod. "Let's go, kid."

As father and son stepped out into the bustling streets, the air seemed lighter. The city hummed with life, unaware of the cosmic drama that had unfolded mere moments ago. Franklin walked beside David, his hands stuffed into his pockets, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind.

"Are you nervous?" David asked, his voice casual but laced with concern.

Franklin hesitated before nodding. "Yeah… a little. I mean, this is my mom we're talking about. And I know everything turns out okay eventually, but still—what if I mess something up?"

David stopped mid-stride and ruffled Franklin's hair, earning a half-hearted protest. "Hey, none of that. You don't have to worry. I'll protect your mom this time, no matter what. And I'll make sure you have the happy childhood you deserve."

Franklin froze, his wide eyes glistening with tears. Before David could react, Franklin threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Dad. Thanks for being the best dad I could've ever asked for."

David stood still for a moment, caught off guard. Then, with a bittersweet smile, he hugged Franklin back, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm just doing my job, kid. That's what dads are for."

They stood there for a long moment, father and son embracing in the middle of the street, the noise of the city fading into the background.

Finally, David gently pulled away and placed his hands on Franklin's shoulders. His expression was a mix of pride and sadness. "Alright, that's enough mushy stuff. I'll see you in a couple of years when you are born , okay?"

Franklin sniffled, managing a small laugh. "Yeah. I'll be waiting."

The two continued walking until they reached the towering silhouette of the Baxter Building. Franklin paused a few steps back as David climbed the stairs. He watched his dad, his heart heavy with both gratitude and worry.

"Wait," Franklin muttered to himself, his memories rushing back. Mom was a total weirdo back then, wasn't she? He winced, remembering stories of how Susan Storm, his future mother, had been borderline obsessive in her early attempts to win David's attention.

Franklin opened his mouth to yell a warning, but it was too late. David was already standing in front of Susan's door, his knuckles raised to knock.

Franklin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Well, at least I turned out okay. Two weirdos as parents and all." He chuckled softly, his form beginning to shimmer and fade from the universe.

"Good luck, Dad," Franklin whispered as he vanished completely, leaving the timeline to unfold as it should.