One Hundred And Sixteen.

Two days went by with Uche taking our break seriously. He started leaving for school way earlier so he didn't have to meet me. 

Everyone seemed to have noticed the distance. I usually heard them talking about it when they thought I wasn't listening; they thought we were no longer together but weren't sure.

I cried the night before. I still don't know why I did. Did I cry because I missed him? Or did I cry because my mum wasn't even bothered about me enough to call since she got out of rehab?

"Help me check his phone," I told Casey out of the blue and earned a questioning look from her. She seemed to already know who the 'his' was.

"I thought you didn't like that," She asked and I just sighed.

I would never admit it but I was pretty desperate at this point. We haven't talked in two days and it felt so weird. I couldn't get the thought that he was talking to other girls out of my mind.

April began hovering around him like a fly again, but he was neither unresponsive nor attentive to her.

"I'll send you screenshots or pics if I find anything suspicious. If I don't send anything, then it means I found nothing."

"Okay."

***

Later in the evening, my phone dinged in my pocket while I was getting snacks from the kitchen. I immediately checked to see if it was Casey, but it wasn't. It was my mum.

Momma💗: I found your old novels in your room. Do you still want them? 

Me: Are you in our apartment?

Momma 💗: On my way there. I'll sell some of our old things there.

Me: Ok.

 I miss u, mum.

"You back with Uche?" I heard Nick and looked up from my phone.

"Huh?" 

"Who are you texting smiling like that?" He asked again before attempting to take my snacks from my hands, but I didn't let him.

"None of your business," I answered and heard him chuckle.

"You two getting over each other good. I'm glad it's you who ended it and not vice versa." Nick said while going to get his snacks.

"Is he talking to someone else?" I asked about Uche and heard Nick's 'Mmn'."Who?" I asked again.

"I don't know. He didn't say. I just know he's always now on his phone like how it used to be before you."

"But I didn't...we didn't break up. We're just taking a break..." I trailed under my breath, a flush of anger and jealousy and sadness all in my head.

I looked at my phone. My mum hadn't replied to my last message. It only fucked my mood up more. I started my way up the stairs and slumped on my bed when I got to my room.

My phone dinged and I checked to see if it was my mum, but it was just Casey. She was asking if I had read a new book she found.

"Did you check his phone yet?" I asked and got a picture immediately. I looked away before it could load because even if I asked for it, I didn't want to see his conversations with other girls.

I made up my mind to view it and looked back at it. It was a picture of his chat with April. It was just her asking questions without any replies.

Casey: See? I'll send the pics of the others but they're all just casual talks.

I smiled dryly as I read Uche's conversation with April. She had repeatedly asked him if we had broken up but he hadn't replied to any of it.

Me: Nick said he is more active on his phone than before. What's he doing if he isn't texting other girls? He doesn't play his online games on his phone.

Casey: Probably his journal

Me: Journal? Like a diary?

Casey: Well yh, something like that

 I'll make copies of them and send them to u if u interested in that too

 R u?👀

Me: yh

I typed last before sitting up on my bed to sneak a peek at Uche's room through his window.

He was sitting on his bed, facing my window, his head resting against the wall. He was on his phone. Nick was right, he had been so immersed in his phone lately.

He randomly ran his fingers through his hair from time to time but never took his eyes off his screen. Was he reading? I've only ever seen him that indulged when he was studying.

My phone dinged multiple times as Casey's messages came in. I sat back on my bed and opened my chat with her. There were a lot of copied texts from; Uche's journal.

I shouldn't do it; I shouldn't read through his personal shit but I couldn't help it. He has been so calm since we started this break of a thing, I needed to know what he used to replace me in his time.

"I saw her today, Nick's cousin's sister. First time

I've been seeing her in person since Nick showed me a photo of her. She's pretty. Cute. But she's a little shy. I want to talk more with her and know what she likes and what she doesn't, but she seems like the type to keep to herself.

She went with Nick and I to Kim's for our games and while Nick played, I couldn't get my mind off her. She even tried having a conversation with me but I was too nervous to hold it."

As I read the first piece she sent, I could immediately tell that it was from the first day we met. 

"Julie was mad at me. I've apologized but she's still mad. Maybe April said something to her to upset her, I don't know. 

Also, Nick misplaced my earbuds. I can't even be mad at him because he's the one who got it for me. I don't really care about the earpod, I just wanna know why Julie's mad at me. But Nick thinks I'm mad about the earpod, and that's why I won't go to Kim's with him, but I'm honestly just thinking about Julie the whole time."

I read a random part of what Casey sent and unconsciously bit my lips as I read more. I remembered what day this was, but I didn't know he overthought my anger this much to write in his online journal. It was a new message from Casey that disrupted my reading, taking me down to where the new text was.

Casey: The whole thing has our name on it. B4 then, it was just Nick and his other friends.

Me: Re u reading it too?

 Pls don't.

I requested and got an 'ok' but I soon realized she might have been reading this before now. I wonder how many other journals and diaries she had sneaked through.

Casey: He just uploaded a new one. 

 I'm not sending it now.

Me: How did u know?

Casey: He's been typing on the website for some time now but he's stopped and so the whole thing auto-saved online.

Me: Oh.

 Send it to me. 🙏 

Casey: k

 A min.

"I miss her. I'm doing my best to avoid her and give her the space she wants but it's hard. I would give Nick's idea of making her jealous a try but I feel that's only going to make her break up with me fr. And that wouldn't even be worth wasting my time with whoever I'm tryna use to make her jealous.

Maybe it's because I made her read with me for the school competition. Or maybe Nick told her about my bet with Kim. Idk. Could be it. That's probably why she wanted a break.

Contemplating between telling her or not. Maybe she just wants me to accept what I did and apologize for it. But if she doesn't already know, telling her could make things worse. She might break up with me for real this time."

Is that it?!! Is that where it ended? I sat up and shoved all my disheveled front hair backward. What bet with Kim do I not know about? I got unhealthily curious after reading his most recent journal. I decided to text Casey again.

Me: Did you read that?

Casey: No. You asked me not to.

I snorted as I read her reply because no way on earth she didn't read it after sending it to me.

Me: C'mon, I know u did 

Casey: I swear I didn't.

Me: Fine. Read it, I wanna find out something.

Casey: K

I bit my lip anxiously as I waited for a message from her after reading it and it came fast.

Casey: Shit

 Is he hiding something?

Me: Ikr? I'm fucking surprised.

Casey: U gotta read through all his shit if u want to find out what he's hiding. Has to be written in of these I sent.