Arc 7.17

We never found Tusk, no matter what connections I use to find him, I couldn't even catch a whiff of him, it was like he had completely vanished off the face of the earth.

And just like I expected, the fallout of all of this smeared my name even more. My enemies used this opportunity to beat me down, but it seems they did too well of a job last time, so this scandal wasn't hard to fight back against them.

Especially since I was fueled by rage every day. But when I lost targets to send that rage towards, I had to find new ones.

I target all my staff. "You useless failures, do your jobs."

My business partners. "It is the due date for the loan I gave you, I expect it to be paid in full with all 40% interest."

Even in the mansion itself, I would run around like a child, smashing everything I saw until I felt better.

But despite that, there was always one person my hatred kept going towards: Surgoth. From the bottom of my lungs, I screamed, "SURGOTH I WILL KILL YOU," As I continued to break things around the room.

Running into the room, Elliot says, "My lady, please stop!"

"It is all your fault, Surgoth," I say, continuing to break things in the room.

Restraining me by force, Elliot says, "You can't keep doing this."

Being held down by Elliot, I say, "Hey Elliot, tell me, why did my son leave?"

Unable to say anything, Elliot just holds me down in silence. "If you have nothing to say, then why the hell are you here? Aren't you supposed to help me? Isn't that what I pay you for? So do your fucking job and bring that bastard who tore me from my son away, BRING ME SURGOTH!"

"MY LADY, STOP! Please just stop. I am sorry I have committed a cardinal sin against you."

"What are you on about, Elliot?"

"Up until now I have always let your behaviour go, I have let your treatment of Tusk go, but more than that I knew how many problems you have had living on Skydust and running the Kritz family business since Krik died, so I always just let you do whatever would make you happy, and for all that I apologize," Elliot says with tears falling from his eyes.

In complete shock and awe, I say, "You can cry."

"But from now on, I won't do what will make you happy, I will work to do what is best for you, my lady, and the first thing I need to do is tell you this. It is your fault that Tusk left, no one else's, it is only yours."

"What the hell are you on about? I raised Tusk with care and lov-."

"Surgoth raised Tusk with care and love, while you simply forced an unbelievable amount of pressure on the boy, even the sky forge couldn't create such pressure."

"Surgoth was the parasite who tried to squander my son's potential."

"No, my lady, Surgoth was the one who kept Tusk together after everything he has been through; if it wasn't for him, I doubt Tusk would have even made it to this day."

Unable to hear Elliot's words anymore, I say, "That isn't true, that isn't true, THAT ISN'T TRUE!"

"YES, IT IS!"

"I am the only one who understands Tusk; none of you could see it, he had the same shine that Krik did, and I can't let that shine go to waste. I had to refine it just like everyone else did with their craft, I had to make my treasure perfect so I could stand amongst them all."

Looking up at Elliot, I see he has a face full of sadness, "My lady, you are correct that Tusk shines just like Krik, though it is not in ability but in love. He works hard to continue to see the smile of his loved ones, and that passion has pulled him to new heights.

Did you know that Tusk wanted to be a hunter? I thought you wouldn't know this because of how much work you had, but it was his dream for years. The only reason he gave up on it was that he realised that he could get people to smile more by running the Kritz business."

"No, that isn't true, Tusk would have told me."

"He couldn't tell you anything that could possibly make you upset, my lady, he simply just wanted to always see his mother happy. But that isn't what you wanted from him; you wanted him to be your trophy, your passion, and that led Tusk to want to leave and never come back. He is gone because of you, Dush."

Hearing this, tears fell from my eyes. "But I loved him so much."

"My lady, no, you didn't, and that is the only truth of the situation."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no." Unable to control myself anymore, I just cry and cry and cry as loudly as I can.

Holding me, Elliot says, "I am so sorry, my lady, I take the blame in this as well, I am so, so, sorry, Dush."

-Break-

From the day Elliot talked to me, I have calmed down quite a bit. I no longer abuse anyone, whether on a personal level or a financial level. All I do now is work and sleep.

So I just worked away for 5 years, and each year I asked myself one simple question: why am I here, and for what purpose? In my old age, I had nothing that I really cared about anymore; I just sat down wasting away, thinking about my life.

All the family I have is either gone or missing. My work was just a menial process to me, no different than breathing, and any lust I had for passion is completely dried up; I had become hollow.

Unable to sit down anymore, I walk around the mansion. I have never really gotten a feel for how big this is. I swear my house when I was younger wasn't even a hundredth of this mansion's size.

I walk through the kitchen, the halls, and the bedrooms, and for the first time since he died, I went into Krik's study. I haven't been able to enter this room at all, so I ordered all the documents to be brought out and for the room to be preserved.

Walking around, I get a feel for everything in the room, all of Krik's books, his paintings, and he even had a photograph, something he got while in Elpída. After getting tired, I sit down behind Krik's desk. His chair feels soft, but one of the legs is slightly wobbly.

I can imagine Krik sitting down, rocking back and forth on this chair as the sunlight strikes him on the back of his head. Wait for a second, wouldn't all this sunlight make working an issue?

Getting up, I say, "Who the hell would even put a window here?" Taking a moment to look out the window, I notice something: this window has a direct view into my dressing room. That pervert was always watching me.

Suddenly, an elated feeling overtakes me, and I start to laugh, "Did you really like me that much, Krik, because nowadays I don't think there is anything left of that person."

Moving from the window, I trip against the chair and slam my head into his desk. Pulling my head back up, I say, "To think I can still make such mistakes."

Regaining my senses, I look down and see that I left a hole in his desk. "After everyone has done such a great job keeping this place clean for 20 years, the moment I enter, I already break something, how embarrassing," I say, covering my face with my hands.

Removing my hands from my face, I see there is something strange in the hole I left, so I reach out my hand and take it from inside the hole.

What I was holding in my hands was something I would notice even on my deathbed; it was the scarf I had with my parents.

"Hey, honey, what do you want to do with this scarf?"

"Throw it away, I have no use for that thing."

"But I think it would be good to frame it, as the treasure that allowed me to meet Dush Zalik, the best woman in the world."

"Stop being gross and just toss it in the bin!!"

"You're so pretty when you're angry."

With a sombre tone, I say, "Krik, you idiot, I thought I told you to throw this out."

Holding this scarf in my hands, all I can do is cry. After a moment, I say, "I wonder if I could ever truly be the Dush Zalik you always saw in your eyes, Krik."

Getting up as fast as I can, I run out of the room full of life.

-Break-

With all the strength I can muster, I use an axe to cut down the tree around me. "This axe is light and sharp, the people of Skydust really know how to craft things beyond what is reasonable. I know why you loved them so much, Krik."

With panicked expressions, Elliot and Sandra run over to me, and Sandra says, " Our lady, is everything ok?"

"Yes, everything is fine, I have just decided to make a house for myself out of wood."

"Do you mean the shoddy-looking hut I saw?" Sandra asks.

"Hey, no need to be mean, I know I am no architect."

"But for what reason are you doing this?"

"It is just that I have decided to be the very best Dush Zalik from today onwards, so please don't mind me."

"My lady, I can't do that."

Picking Sandra up, Elliot says, "God bless, my lady," and walks away.

Φ "Elliot, what are you doing? Dush could get hurt if we leave her like that."

"It will be fine, Sandra."

"HOW!"

Smacking Sandra on the head, I say, "I thought you lost that screaming habit years ago, bad Sandra."

"Don't baby me, and just spit it out already."

"That smile my lady has on is something she has only ever had when with Krik, so right now I am sure what she is doing is reviving her."

-Break-

Φ "It took a while, but my house is complete." Walking inside my house, I start to knit the scarf.

I love scarves, they allow me to wrap myself close to the ones I love and share our warmth, it is what kept Dush Zalik going in all my hard days. So I hope that if I create one long enough, it will be able to unite me and my family wherever they are in the world, or even beyond. Wrapped in that scarf, I may truly be able to understand Tusk.

But isn't that a bit too lonely? I wasn't the only one who was freezing in my home country, and I am sure there are many others like that in the world. So maybe if I make a scarf not only for me but for everyone, it might let us understand each other better.

Everyone under a scarf, feeling each other's warmth, understanding each other's states, I am sure that will be wonderful.

Jumping up, I say, "If this is for everyone, it needs a bit of everyone in it."

-Break-

As I get on the Zterytavis, Elliot screams, "My lady, where are you going!!"

"To go grab some materials."

"Let us take care of it."

"Never, from this point on, will I make someone do something I can do. I will be back soon."

Taking off all over the world, I collected all sorts of materials to weave into my scarf, and I even went to Cordum to find out the longest scarf in the world.

Free from all the doubt and hatred I had, I worked with a gleeful smile for 30 years to achieve my dream. I am almost there, I am almost done."

But when I was just about to cross the finish line, it was all ripped away from me. The scarf was stolen, and I am left with nothing. So now, as my dream has come to an end, all I can do is lie in my bed with tears in my eyes.

I hear a knock on my door, which is followed by Elliot's voice, "My lady, I need you to come out quickly."

"There is nothing left for me out in that world. And that is only fair, this is the judgment of my actions."

Walking in, Elliot picks me up and drags me outside. In my entire time with Elliot, this is the second time he has ever been so forceful. Just like always, he is trying to cheer me up, but it is pointless. I have no reason to go on.

Bashing open the front door, Elliot takes me outside where I see Orb and Atalanta holding two kids in their arms and behind them is my scarf.

"Sorry it took us so long, but taking this massive thing anywhere is hard."

Running up to them, I tackle them both onto the scarf and say, "THANK YOU!" while tears fall from my eyes.