Chapter 23 - A Mother's Letters for the Beloved Daughter

Dear Antonia,

You are already 3 months in my belly. I should know, I have not bled in 3 moons. I'm still not certain if you're a boy or a girl but I can feel in my gut that you are a girl. I just want you to know that your father and I are exhilarated upon learning I am pregnant with you. Whenever I'm alone, I always touch my belly. I can feel you growing inside of me. I know you need more time to grow inside me but I cannot wait to see and touch you. I wonder if you'll look after your father. I hope you would. I love seeing the intelligence and determination of your father in you. Some call him stubborn, but I believe it's just tenacity unable to be contained.

My child, the purpose of this letter is to let you know the truth about our situation. You see, your father and I are not wed as I'm already a wife to someone else. My husband has been chosen for me because of his connections and financial security. I never thought I'd learn to know what it feels like, to feel love until I met your father. We didn't plan on loving each other. For a while, we tried suppressing our evolving passion for each other but it has proven more difficult than we have planned. At the moment, our plan was for us to live together. You will be raised by a man who is not your father and I don't know if I can bear it. Your father is a good man. Despite everything, I hope you'll understand. I know it may have been difficult to grasp everything but in time, I hope you do. If you come to hate us both for our mistakes then I accept. Just know that no matter what happens, you were never one of them. I love you so much, my child. Always and forever.

Your beloved mother,

Simonetta

When I first opened this letter, I didn't realize what she would want to say. I never thought she'd be upfront with the reality of the situation. For someone aware of the circumstances revolving around my parents, knowing her side of the story has never come up to me.

For someone who looks so much like her, I never even consider anything about her.

I feel horrible. It must have been difficult for her. She was torn about choosing from something she does not have any control over. All of those people I have talked to have only had good things to say about her.

Now that I think about it, I don't think anyone has any ill will against her. This just proves how kind and understanding of a person she is.

For her to like my father's stubbornness is a great feat. Almost everyone I know hates that about him—well, about us. I wonder how it would have been if she came with us. What if we all lived in the 20th century? I'm sure my father would have been a better person.

He would have been a successful professor at Oxford and with his tenure, my mother didn't have to change the way she is. She could find herself with fewer restrictions.

I wonder what would become of me. If they have lived together, I'm sure neither of them would have died so soon. Thinking about ifs has become a rabbit hole for me. Endless curiosity about what could have been and when I dived too deep, I only hurt myself in the process because they all remain a wonder and never a reality.

As tears fall, I quickly wipe them away. There's no sense in crying over something that will never happen. The best way to honor them is to live my life as fully as I can and to discover the things about the stone just like I promised to my father.

Clearing my mind, I inhaled deeply and exhaled in preparation for my study for this day. After gathering a few things from the secret room, I lay down a few things on my table that should remain a focus.

The coin, the stones, and the two pieces of gold jewelry. These three could lead me to answers, I can feel it in my gut.

According to what I have gathered, one of the pieces of jewelry belongs to Ailbe, a Celtic woman who is friends with both Aunt Simona and Botticelli. My question is, is she also a friend of my parents?

The coin. It predates Christianity. The question is its relevance to everything.

The stones. It gives the ability to travel through time by using the other half as a conjurer. My question is, how to go back to my time?

How was I able to travel anyway? I know that someone from this time must have willed me here. I only realize that I didn't know who. Aunt Simona possessed the stone when I got here but she said she isn't the one who conjured me here.

All I remember is thinking about my mother as I held it in my chest and then I felt funny and weak. If I were conjured, we must have a link. Something that connects us both. If I was thinking about my mother, then the conjurer must have been too.

My thought was suddenly interrupted by a series of knocks on my door. "Antonia, it's me Semiramide. May I come in?"

Standing over my table, I replied. "Yes, come in."

She opened the door then shut it behind her and walk towards me. "Hello, I know we may seem different, you and I but I wanted us to start over."

I look at her with confusion. "It's alright, Semiramide. I know neither of us has any similarities at all and I accept that. It doesn't mean that we cannot be friends."

For the first time since I'd seen her, she finally smiled. "That's a relief. Can I speak freely with you, Antonia?"

"Of course."

"I envy you. You seem to be so certain of yourself that you don't think you need to change anything to get a husband and I wish that for myself as well. I was taught very differently." She said, slowly frowning as she goes.

"You don't need to envy me. As distant as we are, we're still family. I will help you in any way that I can. However, I must admit that I don't think you should think about a husband at your age." I said, cringing a little as I speak. "You're only 9 years old."

She blinks a few times before speaking. "Then what must I do?"

"Anything else but marriage!" I exclaimed while grinning. "When I was your age, all I ever did was do the things that I love, learn as much as I can, and be as carefree." Her face then slowly turned into a frown once again.

"You're a very odd girl. I don't think that it's proper for a lady to be carefree."

I keep forgetting. Change is a difficult thing. As willing, as she is, I have to pace it with her. Smiling, I spoke. "What I mean to say is, let yourself be free within these walls. No one is going to judge or criticize you for it."

She fell silent for a while, eyes fell on the ground while taking in the words I just said. When she looks back up, her eyes are more determined. "Okay, I'll try." She said, making me smile. Suddenly, her eyes wander around my room until she noticed the shiny gold jewelry atop my table. "Wow." She exclaimed as she walks closer to the jewelry. "This looks beautiful. I've never seen one before."

I join her by the table and look at the jewelry before us. "Yes, they are rather unique aren't they."

"May I?" She asks. I nodded in response. She then takes it and brings it closer to her eyes. "What is it exactly?"

"I'm not sure."

"How did you come by this?" She asks as she continues to inspect it.

"It was left to me by my parents."

Semiramide then pushes the gold apart just enough to place it on her neck. "Ah, it fits!" She said, pleased by the necklace.

It took me a second to realize what was going on. It was a necklace! But it still doesn't answer much of anything. I need Ailbe.

Maybe this is a mistake. I have been waiting around by the fountain hoping AIlbe would appear. It's been weeks and nothing has happened. I am nowhere closer to my answers than I was before. Perhaps this is a sign.

If I were to find out anything about the stones, it must be me. I must uncover it myself. I have gotten myself into this situation and the only person that could help me would be myself. Disappointed, I stood up and decided to walk home.

My Dearest Antonia,

I can feel my time is nearing its end. I have grown too weak and I can no longer stand on my own but I push on to write this letter to you. Forgive me, my darling. I am afraid I won't be there to raise you and love you. Perhaps this is the punishment of God for loving someone other than my husband. I know there is a possibility that you would know nothing of me but I hope that when you do, please remember that I truly love you with all my heart. Please look after your father. Take care of one another. If you come back in time, I hope you would let me see you. Let me see you once again. I have yearned to see you, my child.

Your mother,

Simonetta