Alternate Ending

1935, Norway

"Lira for your thoughts?" I asked as I joined my father by the balcony.

He looked over at me and then smiles a half as he clutches the book in his hands before chuckling. "It is nothing too grand." He said, looking back at the view.

The cold wind breezes ever softly when I look back at him. His eyes are somber, and his shoulders sag. I shifted my gaze to the book he is holding before looking out at the view once again. "Have you found something about mother again?" I ask hesitantly as I prepare my heart for either a shocking revelation or a dismissive answer.

He sighed before speaking. "No, however, my research has succeeded in saddening your old man."

"What is it?"

"There are simply moments where I wish I could change in history." He said as he handed me the book, making me see what it was about.

As I take it, I look through the book and realized what he was reading. "What would you change?"

"Quite a lot. Mostly save several people that I know did not deserve to die."

After he has stated his answer, I began to read the page on which he has placed his bookmark. "During the mass, at the sounding of elevation, Giuliano Medici met his end with a fatal sword wound to the head along with 19 stabs on his body. He died lying on the cathedral floor."

If only life has been kinder...

April 26, 1478

"Are you in pain?" Giuliano whispers to my ear upon noticing my grip on his hands tightened.

I shake my head no and muster a smile I could manage. "No, I'm alright. Just feeling a little tired is all."

"We can always turn back, Antonia."

His words were filled with so much concern that my mind began to wonder about the things that could happen if we pressed on.

He is right. We can always turn back. Having power over the events that could happen made my heart beat faster and turn my hands cold in anxiety.

As I look into his eyes, the words my father once spoke echoed in my head.

Nodding my head as I clutch my belly, I spoke. "Alright."

Smiling, Giuliano and I slowly went back to the palazzo.

When we returned, he lead me to the bedroom and help me lie on the bed to rest. Upon making sure that I am laying comfortably on the bed, he straighten his back and was heading for the door when I stopped him.

"Will you stay with us?"

Giuliano could only smile as he walked toward me and lay beside me. "Do you feel better?" He asks as he tucks the loose hair behind my ear.

I look down at my stomach and nodded my head yes before speaking. "A little." When I look up at him, I reach up to caress his cheek and smile. "Forgive me. We were not able to attend the mass." I said as I feel a wave of relief through me.

He takes my hand and kisses it before looking back at me. "I would miss a thousand more if it meant you will be okay. Though I must admit, I have noticed your unwavering persistence to stay by my side."

My heart began to pound hard against my chest as he spoke. I was too focused on trying to save him that I never thought of coming up with a reason in case he finds my actions confusing. Tongue-tied, I found myself unable to answer when he chuckled and continued. "I must admit, though new, having you by my side at all times is truly endearing."

There is something about him... My heart may have chosen someone else but the way he showed me how much he loves and cares for me makes me wish that my heart had simply chosen him instead.

Smiling at each other, we both found ourselves drawn to each other. Slowly our lips meet as the sound of elevation can be heard from outside.

I was roused from sleep when I heard Lucrezia's voice outside of the room. When I sat up, I began to hear her words clearly.

"Why have you not come to the mass?" She asks, her voice laced with concern and a hint of annoyance.

"Forgive me, mother, Antonia feels ill. We had to turn back." Giuliano said calmly.

"Of course it's her." She said disappointingly.

"Mother, please. She is still resting." Lucrezia was quiet for a moment then Giuliano continued. "Please understand, mother. I love her and she is carrying my child—your grandchild. I know you do not approve but give us a chance. I care for her more than I have ever cared for anyone in my entire life."

Hearing Giuliano's words made me feel so guilty. He would do anything for me. I reach for my heart and close my eyes. Solemnly hoped that I would have a change of heart.

"My brother is truly besotted, mother," Lorenzo said, making me open my eyes and look at the door in front of me. "The only thing we can do is support him in any way we can."

It's been a week since Giuliano's supposed assassination. Nothing has come to pass when Giuliano never attended the mass. In the days that followed, the Pazzi and the others involved were caught plotting an assassination for the brothers.

The Vatican denied any involvement and anyone involved was either exiled or imprisoned.

With Giuliano's persistence, Lucrezia has officially backed out on the betrothal of his son and the Appiani.

"You have finally succeeded," Botticelli said as he sat a few meters away from me, painting me.

I look over at him, his cold demeanor stings my heart. Before he could look back at me, I switch my gaze to a painting in front of me before responding. "It appears I have."

He did not respond and continued his work instead in silence. With every passing moment, my heart continues to ache within me. It was utterly painful that a tear suddenly fall from my eye.

As I hear footsteps, I immediately wipe the tears away while hoping that Botticelli did not notice.

"As always, your skills are impeccable, my friend," Giuliano said as he looks at the painting Botticelli is working on. His gaze switches from the painting to me.

Soon as I feel his eyes on me, I look back at him and smile, hiding away the pain in my chest. "I thought you won't be coming home until later?"

He taps Botticelli on his back before going towards me. He leaned down to plant a kiss on my forehead before speaking. "I have news and I am too delighted to wait to share it with you so I hurried home."

He then kneeled so our eyes would level as he held my hands to his. His thumb grazed the emerald ring on my finger. "What is it?" I ask, my heart beating inside me.

His smile began to widen then he spoke, "I have arranged for us to be married in a few days. Everything is set."

My heart drops to my stomach. Saving him made me forget the aftermath. "Oh... That is good news indeed. Why did you not tell me about it, I could have helped with the preparations." I said, smiling the best that I can.

"I would but you seem so stressed lately that I thought I would spare you more matters to think about by dealing with it on my own. It is just like how we talked about back in Pisa." It was then that I remembered our conversations back then. My willingness to make him happy has now finally caught up to me. "I cannot wait to finally make you my wife." He said as he enveloped me in his arms, whispering to my ear.

Am I truly prepared to give him happiness at the expense of my own? I ask myself as I hug Giuliano back.

In a split second, I felt Botticelli turn gloomier to my left. When I look at him, he does not meet my eyes. Though he may not look at me, I can feel his pain from where I sit for it's the same pain I feel.

When Giuliano breaks away, he gently kisses me on my lips before leaving us back to what we were doing.

Botticelli's indifference and distance give me both pain and relief. Pain as my heart would scream for him to be the man I would be marrying instead of someone else, relief because if I see him as we prepare the last few things before our wedding, I know I wouldn't be able to hold every ounce of feelings I have for him.

Tomorrow is the day we would finally be exchanging vows. Everything has already been placed down to the very minute detail.

Every time I think about it, my eyes would always water. Desperate for solace, I found myself climbing the stairs toward the cupola.

My growing belly has made me feel exhausted quite easily when only a few months before, I would reach the top with ease.

When I reach the top, I felt a wave of disappointment finding I'm alone. Gripping the banister, I look out at the magnificent view of Florence. Had I failed to protect Giuliano, the streets would be in chaos. People would have witnessed the deaths of the conspirators, Lorenzo would be at war against the Vatican that will in turn exile him and the doors of the Church would close on the city.

When I succeeded in saving him, deep in my heart, I felt the uncertainty of whether what I have done was the right thing to do. Perhaps I have done more than simply save a man's life. I wonder, will my father be happy that I have saved one of his friends?

"I was not expecting you to be here." A voice suddenly said, igniting a fiery passion within my heart.

When I turn around, Botticelli avoided my gaze and instead stood next to me without so much as looking at me. "With everything going on, I simply wanted to be in a place where I'd be at peace," I said, looking down to hide the pain.

"Tomorrow is the big day. I'm certain you are excited." He said so coldly.

My shoulders sag from his remarks. I was not able to formulate a response till I looked up at him once again, I muster up all the courage that I can and spoke. "Forgive me. For all the pain I caused you. You did not deserve it."

His gaze is lowered to his hands that are leaning on the banister as he smiles bitterly. "Love is undoubtedly a gamble. It is something I do not have the skill to win over."

As my tears came pouring down once again, I turn to face him while holding his hand. "I love you, I do that sometimes I wonder if things were different, we might have had a life together." I then touched my growing belly as tears continues to flow down my cheeks. "But life is unkind. Despite our strong feelings for one another, it droves us away from each other."

Botticelli remained silent and still, making me realize that despite my confession, I could not make things any better for either of us. My hands drop to my side and I prepare to take my leave when Botticelli spun me gently to face him.

His hand cups my wet cheek as he kisses me ever so softly. It was a moment of passion, a welcoming feeling that I have been keeping myself for a while now. When we break away, we both knew it would be the last.

"You did not need to come here anymore. Though in your absence, I will cherish the moments we have spent in this place." He then took my hands and look at them, gazing particularly at the ring on my finger before continuing. "I wish you nothing but happiness, Antonia." When he brings his eyes back to mine, his amber eyes were filled with pain and resolve. "Perhaps in another time, in another place. God will smile at us both. You will always be in my heart."

I was about to hug him when he swiftly walked away and descended the stairs with urgency.

This was our haven. The place we have allowed ourselves to be true and free. Now, witnessed our confessions and goodbyes.

When Giuliano and I wed, all of our friends and family gather to witness it save for one.

It has been a quiet married life for me. It feels strangely comforting. Despite my growing belly, my heart aches to walk around the city street whenever Giuliano is either away at the bank or somewhere else.

There were many moments that I would see Botticelli in passing but I have turned into a stranger to him now. Not a glance, not even an acknowledgeable nod my way. It was a difficult pill to swallow, but now that I am married to someone else, all I can do is accept our fates apart.

Ever since the day Botticelli and I last talked, the cupola felt like a forbidden place to go to whenever I am looking for a little solace. The banks of Arno however, have remained free for me.

There were moments when I would find myself looking around to see whether he is there too. So far, he's never been.

"Ah, fancy seeing you around these parts, Madonna," Leonardo said as he smiles at me before sitting next to me.

"You know me, frequenting this part of the city has become a habit of mine," I said smiling back.

"I see. No wonder why he has been avoiding this place recently." Leonardo suddenly said, thinking aloud. When he caught himself, his eyes widen before laughing nervously. "Forgive me, Antonia. I did not mean anything by it."

My smile began to disappear from his statement. "Has he mentioned what happened?" I asked quietly to him as I look towards the river to avoid his gaze.

He sighed before speaking. "Yes, he has. If I may be so bold, I was quite surprised by the events that happened."

My brows creased in confusion before turning toward him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugs his shoulders and exhales before looking up at the sky. "Perhaps seeing you both have these strong feelings for each other, I always expected for you to end up with one another. Not that I don't support your match with Giuliano, it's just come as a surprise that you were unable to fix things up with Sandro."

"As I said before, no man can love a woman carrying someone else's child," I said as I caress my belly.

"I can guarantee that he loves you, but you must know that we cannot keep talking about your feelings for someone now that you are a wife to somebody else. I am your friend as much as I am Sandro's. I do not wish for you to wallow yourself with questions about what could have been. It's already been done. The best thing I can do now for you as my friend is to help you see the things that you have and be happy about it."

As much as I hate to admit it, Leonardo is right. I cannot keep focusing on the things I have lost. Nothing I say or do will bring me back to him. Continuing on this road would only cause me misery. "Thank you, Leonardo. You are truly a great friend."

He then proceeded to hug me with one arm and lightly squeeze my shoulders to comfort me. "Always happy to help a friend."

"Antonia?" Giuliano called as I brush my hair in front of the mirror while he takes off his doublet.

"Hmm?" I said looking at him through the mirror.

He sighed and then leaned on the poster frame of the bed. "Are you happy with me?"

Confused by his question, my brows creased before looking at him. "Of course, is something the matter?"

As if he has something important to say, Giuliano sat down by the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his thighs before he looks up at me. "There are moments in which I think you have not fully forgiven me."

"What do you mean?"

"I almost drove you away when I forced myself onto you, then I feel as though I imprisoned you when I impregnate you. Have I truly taken your choice away from you?" He asked, his voice filled with so much doubt, pain, and guilt.

I placed the brush down on the vanity table and look at his vulnerable state. "Forgive me. With everything going on, I have failed to show you how happy I am with you. All the things you have done before you have long since made up for it." As guilt still linger in his eyes, I decided to walk toward him and place his hands on my belly. "I ask you to forget about all those doubts within you and focus on the family we will soon have together. I'll try harder in showing how happy I am with you and be the loving wife you deserve."

Giuliano stood up and caresses my cheek as his dark eyes bore through my hazels. "I know doubts are unbecoming. I've grown to love you so much that I'm afraid to lose you."

My heart began to long for someone else again, but Leonardo's words helped me get a grip on the realities of life. I smiled and lean for his touch before speaking. "Rid of yourself with thoughts of losing me. I am your wife. I have vowed to stay at your side no matter what happens, and to love you through the good and the bad."

His eyes search for any doubts in my eyes. When he found none, a smile began to appear on his charming face before leaning into me for a passionate kiss. "I love you, my wife."

"I love you too, husband."

Weeks passed, and I finally found the courage to do what I should have done before I even got married. All of the things that remind me of Botticelli are now stored in a small box. Knowing I cannot give this to Botticelli, I decided to carry it back home.

When Franzia opened the door for me, I was instantly welcomed by a hug that I gladly reciprocated. "It has been so long! I am so happy to see you again." She said before breaking away.

"It has been so long," I said smiling at her.

"Let me help you with that." She said as she takes the small box off of my hands and moved aside to let me in.

"Thank you, Franzia."

When I got inside, I looked around the house that has welcomed me when I first arrived. Being within its walls aroused something in me. Happy memories and the comfort of family.

Aunt Simona descended the stairs with a smile as soon as she saw me. She opened her arms wide, ready to envelop me in her arms. "My dear Antonia." She said. I immediately hugged her tight but she breaks away immediately and then looks down at my belly. "As much as I love hugging you, I'm too afraid to hug you tight in fear I might suffocate your growing child within you." She said, her smile remaining as her eyes well up with tears.

"I sometimes forget that my belly has gotten too big for tight hugs." I kid.

The both of us chuckled but were distracted by the footsteps growing louder from the second floor. When I look up, Semiramide stops as soon as she saw me from the banister. Her smile is wide and sweet before hugging me ever so gently soon as she reached me.

"I have missed you so!" She exclaimed.

"I missed you all so much," I said looking at all of them.

Before tears fall down our cheeks, Aunt Simona gestures for us to sit on the settee by the parlor.

When we are all finally situated, Franzia excused herself to make tea for us in the kitchen as we began to catch up. I know I have not been away so long, but Semiramide has grown out of her reserved shell. Our conversations were filled with her ever-growing curiosity over my pregnancy and my marriage. After we drink some tea, I requested a private conversation with my Aunt Simona.

Once we're inside my previous room, I placed the box on the table by the window and smile bitterly as I face her. "If I may, please hand this over to Botticelli on my behalf?"

Aunt Simona looked at the box with curiosity before looking back at me. "Of course, dear."

She invited me to sit on the bed before following suit. "Do you think I made him hate me?" I ask as she made me lean on her shoulders.

Brushing my back to comfort me, Aunt Simona replied. "I think you might be mistaking pain for hate."

"I know..." I trailed. "Thinking of him hating me is easier than having the knowledge that I have caused him this much ache." Aunt Simona rocks us a little comforting me further. "Do you think I made a mistake?"

"You have given him a chance, Antonia. If he could not bear to be with you due to your pregnancy, then it was his choice. I know you love him so much, and letting go is never easy but Giuliano loves you so much. He has shown it multiple times. If you give him a chance, I think you will realize that what you did is not a mistake."

Sighing, I nodded in agreement. "That's why I wish you would give the box to him in my stead. Perhaps letting go of the things that remind me of him will help me forget."

"I'd be happy to assist you in any way I can then, my dear."

"Thank you so much, Aunt Simona."

"I wish you nothing but great happiness, Antonia."

When I got home, Lucrezia was waiting for me in our room standing by the window. "Good day, mother," I said politely, as I mentally prepare myself for a torrent of unsavory remarks she has prepared for me.

"I have come here to talk to you about something I have been thinking about for quite some time now." She said, facing me and then walking towards me. "I must admit, I have my reservations about you and I ask for your understanding..." she trailed. "And forgiveness."

My lips slightly parted from the shock of what was happening before me. Never in my days have I imagined her apologizing to me or talking to me in this manner. I was taken aback so suddenly.

She sat down on the chair by the vanity mirror facing me as she continues. "You see, I have always looked out for my family. When you came along, I feared your mystery. Then I realized I have never even tried to know you for myself. Before you bring about my grandchild, I wish for us to start anew."

Overwhelmed, I could only smile in response.

As we lay in bed, I found myself awake in the middle of the night. Not knowing what to do, I turn to my other side to see Giuliano's sleeping form facing me.

2 years ago, I would not have imagined meeting him at all and now, I cannot believe that I have saved him. I reach up to touch his face and softly run my fingers around his cheek.

He then reaches up and grabs my hands to bring them to his lips. After planting a soft kiss, he spoke while his eyes remain closed. "Having trouble sleeping?"

I smiled to myself and spoke, "Yes. I'm afraid to sleep eludes me."

Opening his eyes, his dark eyes lovingly stare at me. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

This man, who was willing to give me everything just for my affection, has now slowly started to capture my heart. "It is alright. I know you must travel to Rome tomorrow. You need your rest."

His strong arms gently pulled me closer to him before he decided to speak. "I am a man. I can travel with only a few hours of sleep. Now tell me, what's on your mind? Are you feeling ill again?"

"No, I feel fine. I simply cannot sleep is all."

"Then I must stay up with you. Will talking help?" He asks, shifting his position to see me better.

"I suppose," I said as I lay my arm atop his arm and run my fingers around his dark hair.

"I love you so much, Antonia." He said, smiling with eyes filled with so much love.

"I love you too, Giuliano," I said, this time with certainty that I am beginning to let myself fall for the ever-vibrant feeling of love.

When we leaned in for a kiss, I suddenly felt a kick in my belly that made me gasp. Giuliano's eyes look on with concern. "What is it?"

I touched my belly and feel movements inside me. "I think I felt a kick from our child," I said laughing a little.

He sat up and positioned himself closer to my belly as he places his hands on my belly as well. The baby kicked once again as soon as his hands touched me. "I feel it!" He said excitedly.

The rest of the night was filled with the exchange of ideas about our child's name. He only mostly gives boy names while I at least consider a few female ones. After a few moments of laughter and banter, I finally felt sleepy. In the darkness, I was enveloped by the protective arms of my husband as our hands are on my belly.

When our son was born, Giuliano and I decided to name him Giulio. With bonds mended, the palazzo has now filled with so much joy. In the years that followed, I looked over at the courtyard where our 3 children played together along with their cousins. Giulio is now 10, followed by our second son Dante, and daughter Antonietta.

The children all cheered with glee when they saw Giuliano coming home. They all hugged him and then immediately asks him to play with them. He picked up Antonietta and kisses her before seeing me a few meters away, happily watching them. He says something to the children before setting down our daughter and heading toward me.

"Welcome home," I said.

Before he responded, I found my lips imprisoned softly by his, smiling as he kisses me. "How are you feeling, my love?" He asks as he touches my belly once again.

Carrying our fourth child, I could not help but marvel over how he remained the same kind, gentle and sweet husband. "I feel alright. Though I am beginning to wonder when is too many for you." I teased.

Giuliano laughs heartily before pecking my lips. "However many God will give us."

Wrapping one arm around me, we both look at the children still playing in front of us. The years have been kind to us both. The Medici remained in power, Florence is still stable and powerful and I have my loving family around me. With contentment, I sigh in relief. "Thank you, Giuliano."

"Whatever for, my love?" He asks, eyes still lingering on the children, carefully watching them play.

"For giving me the family I've always wanted. For providing me with your time and affection, and for putting us first despite the demanding role you play in this city and bank."

He finally looked down at me, turning me to face him before speaking. "You have given me so much more than I could ask for. The children and I are blessed to have you. I can never fully thank you for loving us—me— the way that you do."

As the both of us hugged each other, the house was filled with cheery laughter before they ask Giuliano once again to play with them. As they all had fun, I began to feel complete.